I don't post much anymore, but I feel the need to tell you something.
1. I know it really sucks to feel bad. I'm pisces & I'm a very sensitive person, and I have thyroid problems, so my mood changes 100 times in a day. I have some problems in my life, and feel depressed because of them but what keeps me going (besides my kids of course) are plans. I have plans & goals I want to achieve. Sure, I have bad days when I want to go back to my bed and never leave it, so what helps me on those days are comedies, sit-coms, funny stuff on youtube, fresh flowers, good music, soaking up the sun, cuddling with my kids and my dog. We all have our own little things that make us happy, find yours.
2. If you keep feeling like this, go and see a doctor. There's no shame in that. My doctor gave me antidepressants when I was diagnosed with hypothyroism, but I stopped taking them when I changed some things in my life (I changed the way I think (it didn't happen over night, it took months and months!), which leads me to:
3. Find books/videos of Louise Hay, or Abraham-Hicks!
4. You say you have no friends. That can change very easily - go out! You play music, right? Go to a local club or somewhere similar and hang out with the other artists/musicians. Be a part of something!!! This is why I love this forum so much! This is my home, my happy place, my comfort zone. So for now, if you'd like, post more on this forum, make friends here. Believe me, people here are really amazing! And you'll have that feeling of belonging somewhere.
5. If you want someone to fall in love with you, you have to love yourself first. Easier said than done, I KNOW! But there are always the little things that will help you love yourself at least a little more and help you be happy with yourself - a new haircut, a nice perfume, new clothes, or start working out.
6. Don't be a victim. And don't blame others. You are responsible for your life and your choices. No one else. Life doesn't owe you anything. What you think, you attract so start thinking positive, it will transform you, believe me!
This is just something I learned in my life. What you decide to do, is your choice. Good luck! ?
Oh, and one more thing - it's never too late!