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shehoss99

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About shehoss99

  • Rank
    Sorcerer's Apprentice

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  • Location
    a northern realm beclouded
  • Interests
    flamenco, sculpture, four leaf clovers, photography, voyaging, architecture, energy, eroticism, russians, tango, henri, love....
  1. Dear beautiful thoughtful women! Thank you so much for your heartfelt and sage advice. What you are saying is very helpful. I am happy to have the sexual pressure off, as I have been so focused on that for any last hope of real bonding. Also, the sexier pheromones made me feel oddly more exhausted, so I am happy to not need to focus on them. And as I contemplate your remarks, it's so obvious: we are so far off of having sex, that there is no way it could naturally transition to that this quickly. I have been working to re-bond though, in all the other ways you are saying, and it has been getting slowly better. I know that sex does not equal commitment or deep bonding, but I had felt like if there was NO SEX, then any re-bonding that had happened was not "good enough". So I will keep with the light flirty fun approach I have been taking, and if things shift before I move out, ole! and if not...well, there it is. Ladies, thanks for that! Seriously, I just had such a sigh of relief on that front. And...sitting here recalling all that has gone on.....I just want to take a public moment to massively pat myself on the back and give myself a big gold trophy for how hard I have worked at this, all the while feeling like hell, working to hide it, re-focusing on Dmitry, the relationship, on myself and sexuality, growing, stretching, arghing, and keeping going! I have been such a heroine in this! and in lots of things.... So, one outcome that is "in the bag" from all of this: I am a rock star! and...This is definitely a sniffles situation, actually, it's a river of tears. I cannot express the depth of the tragedy of my life or the ramifications of this break up. It is far beyond any normal end of love. in addition to the harships of heart, for complex reasons, i will be homeless, I will not be able to treat the Lyme for the forseeable future, etc. etc. I feel so sad, and also I am grateful for many things in my life, at this moment coming to mind.... this forum, my experiences here, the delights of learning about the scents, and for Dmitry and all I have learned with, and been given by him. and...my hardwon kickass rockstar status. It was definitely worth this last shot. And I so appreciate having your candid thoughts to help me keep perspective. Great to hear from the few of you I "know" or remember from before! Raqs--hope you're doing great back in our neck of the woods and dancing your heart out! I am back in West Virginia right now helping my also very ill parents.... btw, to everyone: Lyme Disease: DO NOT GET IT AT ALL COSTS!!!! I was pretty lucky to have a man who is not my husband stick with me as long as he did. I know of so many even more tragic stories out there, stories that involve abandoned ill wives with children. I had hoped that maybe pheromones would be able to help other women like me who had gotten so ill that their spouses and mates lost interest in them after coming to view themselves as caregivers alone.... it's a common story in the world of Lyme, and I am sure for many long-term or chronic illnesses. If anyone knows of someone in the pheromone world who did have a success story with an illness situation like that, I'd love to hear it. Not so much for myself at this point, but so I could encourage any such women I come across to try pheros since my experiment hasn't gone that well.... but maybe that bridge just can't get uncrossed....? God only knows what kind of pheromones a chronically ill distraught woman hammers into her mate's brain. And of course, to re-weave such a damaged relationship takes art far beyond olfactory devices....and there are instrinsic truths to a coupledom that may prevent reconciliation regardles.... so a sample test population of one or two is hardly conclusive. stil.... it would be great to know if there has been any woman who was victorious using pheromones in such a scenario. as an idealist, i would like to think that true love conquers all. but..as i have aged and watched the world around me, i think that true love too needs a hell of a lot of help. and also that there are very few loves that are of the most golden truth. a parting thought for you lasses: in my search for tools and resources, I came across an astonishingly simple and great approach to relationships called "Marriage Fitness", an info-selling site owned by a guy named Mort Fertel. It didn't save me and dmitry, but it has saved two of our friend's marriages since I referred them to it. I just wrote myself out of energy to explain it, but you can buy his book on Amazon used for $4ish, and it gives you the gist. or sign up for his newsletter. marriagemax.com It's your standard cheesy info-selling techniques, so don't be turned off by that, because the information is stellar. A far sounder approach than any kind of traditional couples counselling I ever encountered, and it has a beautiful evolutionary focus, both for the individuals, and the vision of couple-dom. loved it! keep some fingers crossed for me for the last tango! thanks again for the wise words, xo
  2. hi there, First, I want to apologize to the handful of beautiful women who responded to me months ago when I first started investigating pheromones. Two of you (one from Argentina, the other from Mexico...I think) offered personal contact and support for me during heavy heavy illness and relationship problems. And other lovely ladies sold me phero samples. I did not respond from total overwhelm with my situation, exacerbated symptoms, and trying to stay offline as much as I could. AND...I WAS SO GRATEFUL for everyone's support and love! And, I WOULD like to connect at some point--I will be hunting down those message links...I am just still in overwhelm, and the relationship is on its very last gasps. I have about 45 days to finally make a difference. The pheromones have been very weak in effect for me, and have garnered no actual sexual response. Which I really really need to have a hope of re-bonding! background: my bf is exhausted from 6 years of behing with me through 6 years of illness. i am actually doing better than even 2 years ago, but his deep associations of me are from the times of heavy duress. He is an introvert, I am an extrovert. he needs quiet, I need talk and connection. I have altered my behavior greatly to accomodate his preferences, but he just can't "register it" it seems. he acknowledges it intellectually, but energetically, the friction of old remains. I was completely unable to keep our home from being a disaster area, and was distraught much of the time.... So.....talked to Mara months ago, and we decided on an approach of soothing him, and not doing anything too "talky" or "busy" with him, althoug hI have now strayed from that approach in my experimentation. What i have found is that social pheros seem to get the best response from him! I definitely can calm the situation with Elixir of silver, and mu hunch is that he socials are working because we are so incredibly estranged and the energetic barriar between us is so huge, that these ice breakers enable him to actually come forward and open up, overcoming the historical push-away. I was surprised by this response. Alas, nothing has gotten a serious sexual response. And that's what I need to have happen. We are taking a last vacation together for the holidays. It's now or never!!!! So, Phero Queens, can anyone derive from these results what might be a good choice of pheromone for me? So far, he is not a fan of LP scents at all. But he loves essential oils. so I want to try one of the $15 bottles and cover with EO's. From my samples, here's my data: Best: Open windows – very solicitious and flirty. No hard (so to speak hahaha) sexual response. Good: Silver potion – he seems to be calmed by this Portmanteau (perfect match)– decent amount of attention to me. Sexology- mild sexual responses. Whose that girl – (popularity potion)he talked his head off! Which is helpful in a way, because he’s an introvert and never wants to talk to me. But…not sexual in ANY way. Mediocre: Detective and Dame – mediocre (super sexy) Cuddle bunny Seemed dismissive of me on: Sexpionage Magnet OCCO Cuddle bunny Blatant Invitation Audacious BAM BANG thanks for your thoughts! happy holidays to all
  3. shehoss99

    GITANA

    I wanted to adore this. I did! As a flamenco dancer especially! But it was actually so off, I can't even sniff the bottle happily! I think the smoke/coffee are too much for me....
  4. I adored this one--not sure it's still made. I have it with Open windows in sample form from a member. It has had one of the best effects on my by-the-skin-of-my-teeth boyfriend. He makes a fuss of me when I wear this. No overt sexual response though...
  5. Hmm...I couldn't find a review for this yet--I am sure I must not be "searching" correctly. This has been me and my boyfriends favorite to date. For me, it has self effects of calming, centering, and general uplift. And for him, it likely has the same, as he traditionally finds my presence aggravating, as he is an extreme introvert and I am an extrovert, and we have been living together for 6 years of my extended chronic illness, which has been very heavy, and "i" have gotten fused with the experience in his mind. This one I feel has opened the door for some shift in the relationship. He is most affectionate towards me when I wear this, and he has been downright dismissive with some of the more sexual pheros. And they also cause me a lot worse depression, exhaustion, and cognitive dysfunction. Which is not fun, but incredibly fascinating! It seems the effects of Lyme Disease have a pheromonal component and odd sensitivity. From what I could tell on the forum, I have had the most extreme side effects of anyone using pheros. but they stop within 12 hours of removing the perfumes. So, that is a rather large aside in this review, but I have so appreciated the calming, happiness effect of the phero, and the clean simplicity of the scent. Wish it had more staying power on me though. I have been using the oil sample, and scent is gone in maybe 2 hours...
  6. I love this one! So far, Portmanteau and Elixir of Silver have been most to me and my Bf's liking. Seems we both do well with cleaner scents. Although I have noticed these don't have the staying power of other scents. I get a bit nauseous wearing heavy things, so these are great for me!
  7. Wow, JOC, thanks for sharing the details of your run-in with that bottle! @ Raqs, no idea. I have another suspect on the list now: some pharmaceutical amino acids I started taking recently as well. I feel okay when I get up, and 3 hours into wakefulness, the head pressure starts. I did not wear pheros today or yesterday and it happened both days. so i am going to not take the AM aminos tomorrow and see what occurs.
  8. Zion, I just accidentally found this post--tyring to keep myself reading and learning. Aha, you are an Argentina! the country fits your juicy vibe! I have a dear friend/ex who lives part time in Buenos Aires. Are you in BA? Because as soon as I get well enough, I'm going there for a visit! haven't read this whole thread, but i had to make a little exclamation post about your country of origin. i can't wait to visit it! sipping on mate as i type... and i also picked up it is your son with autism. ok, so then my questions about GAPS diet and possible pathogenic/toxic bases for autism is even more appropo! other names/ideas for you: DAN, Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt? heard of them? seems like you've done tons of homework. So, has empathy potion helped your son? you may mention it up above--i will go read more later. besos!
  9. ZM, love your photo! what a sweet luscious mamma you are! i love getting to see who I am "talking" to! i'd love to see everyone and their beau's to put faces to names. my avatar is me, but as it is quite distorted and art-ified, here's a photo of me and dmitry from 5 years ago, and one of me from my birthday last year. we don't have any current photos of us together at all.... self esteem: yes, god knows, it's helpful. i have lost so much self esteem from being largely home-bound for so long, llosing identify and the pride you get out of doing what you love (in my case, I was a sculptor, flamenco dancer, etc.), losing most of my friends, and being treated coldly in this relationship. i swear, Lyme is the ultimate guru: it strips you to your bones and makes you fight for every ounce of your being: mental, physical, spiritual, emotional. oh yeah, and dont forget financial. all treatment is out of pocket. i've been focusing on myself and my healing for 4.5 years now, and this is my last little shot to stop that focus, and re-direct to the relationship to try to save it. lyme treatment is a massive marathon in the case like this, where you've been undiagnosed for 20 years. when i treat intensely, i am so messed up, i can't focus enough to do the kinds of things i want to do to try to get us back anywhere near on track, so i hae had to back off on treatment. i'll need to be off treatment anyway to get moved this campaign to restore the relationship is such a serious long shot. he'd have to somehow become in love with me again, and be more emotionally an dspiritually "with" me as I go deep back into treatment. To date, he has been more providing a space for me to treat since he emotionally checked out of "us" long ago. So I am alone in this pace to a large degree. And neither of us is happy this way. re: your knowledge of Autism, is it because you have a child who is autistic? i thought i read that, but looking above, now I am not seeing that... Or hae you dated an autistic man? you are quite knowledgeable! do you know about the Lyme/coinfection connections with autism? ever heard of the GAPS diet? My name is elizabeth--I also am happy to be shehoss, which translates to "female horse". when I was a child, I was utterly convinced I was a horse! and have retained my love of and affinity with equus ever since. I love both of your names: Belen and Zion! Why Zion? argh, can't ifgure out how to make these photos smaller. anyway, here we are:
  10. Oh argh.....it sounds like the pheros are to blame. Was hoping to not have that added complication to trying these out. One thing I can say that gives me a bit of hope is that yesterday I didn't put anything on, and I still got the headachey/pressure thing within 3 hours of waking up, but...then again....maybe the pheros are on my clothes as I wear the same "house sweater" all of the time. would they stick that badly? Thanks for the input ladies. Wow- yikes, JOC! you must dearly love your LP products to have continued after all of that! Regardless, going to skip them for a few days to see what happens. so hard! I am so into trialing these. but I am starting to think this is playing with fire for someone whose health is so compromised already..... especially hearing JOC's account.... do any of you remember someone who was ill with a long term chronic condition working successfully with pheromones? someone with lyme, lupus, chronic fatigue, fibromylagia, etc.? So far I have used: Serenity, Portmanteau, LFM, Lumina, OCCO Ambrosia, Sexology, Cuddle Bunny, and for one brief hour Sexpionage. I still have yet to get enough response for me to think any of these (except serenity for self effects for me, unless one of those self effects is headaches!) are going to be worth buying a full bottle. re: dosing, it seems like I can get at least a week plus out of a single tester vial. I remember Mara telling me she thought I would be able get only 3 days from a tester... unless I failed to understand what she was saying. but if that is true....it means i am not overdosing, right? or, i am just so hypersensitive.....
  11. Wondering if anyone has experienced daily increased head "tension" or headaches when using pheromones? I saw that some people get headaches from ODing.... but anyone have headaches simply from normal usage? I have a lot of symptoms that go up and down and it's always hard to know what is causing what as I change treatment strategies, etc. headaches have never been part of my symptom profile, but I realized that since starting to play with the pheromones, as the day progresses, I start to feel this "tightness" in my head and behind my eyes. I don't think I am ODing--I am just using oil samples and have so little on that my "target" can't even smell the scents unless I put my wrist right under this nose. I re-apply a little every 4 or 5 hours. I have been using different pheros almost daily for a couple of weeks now. Anyone have any thoughts on this? I have a history of bizarre side effects from drugs, so perhaps I am an anomaly. Even more, I hope it is just a coincidence, and that these sensations are not being caused by the products. thank you!
  12. i like this description. @Beccah. Thanks for the input. Happy trumps everything, all the time. excellent choice.
  13. @ Queen of Swords--thank you for your feedback! He's no ass and it's actually me who is far more disabled--I can't work. But your perspective has some merit as well I think too. I only have to leave in October if the relationship ends, as I can't support myself and will have to return to my family's home in WV. I suggested that we set October as the deadline for me leaving, as I can't hold up his life forever, waiting to be well if there is no hope for us. He would continue to let me stay and heal here, but I feel inside that it is not right unless we are on different terms. Due to more Lyme exposure in WV, moving could be very dangerous for me--my docs don't want me to do it. But I cannot trade his happiness for my survival. So if I can't craft a happy home and relationship, then I am going to go. @Snowflake. Thank yo ufor sharing your experience and ideas! did it work out for you two? I admire what you did--I know from growing experience how hard it is to do this, especially if you are an american woman with any grounding whatsoever in women's lib, and conventional couples therapy models--talking about problems just doesn't seem to work. I think Dr. John Gottman's relationship work is much more productive.
  14. oh yes--PS. he does like scent! he has been happy when I diffuse essential oils in the house, even putting up withe annoyingly loud (even for me) diffuser! And he seems to be enjoying the daily game of "what do you think of this scent"? I have been playing with the LP's, telling him I am toying with perfuming, which dovetails logically off of my increasing use of essential oils. (naughty hehehe) And consistently praising him for his discriminating palate and sense of smell--i decided it was worth a try as he has a very fine sense of food and wine. this part seems to be going well for him. I just have to "boundary" it to the daily little game so that he doesn't move into sense overwhelm. In a way, it's good that he can't pick up the scents because it enables me to try out sample vials of perfumed pheros on him and get a sense of the pheros without putting him off with the perfume. And yep, once I get a winner of a scent (or maybe up to 3, for different moods/occasions), I am going to stick with it, and have the pheros separately. hoping i can find some strong winners. So far the soothing ones are doing best to just open him up to me again, but there is no real sexual vibe yet--only a couple vague hints of that coming around. I know I need to move slowly, and it's hard not to be anxious as I have only 3 months now to pull this off! Am hoping to quickly sample pheros and scents and put a solid rotation in place to steadily shift our rapport from closed to open, then engaged with some good male/female tension again, then sexual. But I might have to figure out the pheros as I go along in each stage. I don't have money so I feel anxious to know exactly what its going to take and how much it's likely to cost. re: movement. I was a flamenco dancer, and he loves it when I pull some flamenco moves in the house. He definitely admires female movement. Phase 2 of my effort (and yes! I have written this out in phases with to-do lists for all aspects of the campaign with progressive objectives for managing the house, managing my self, managing the relationship) includes, pending me feeling well enough, my return to some dance classes so that I am much more in my body and my own sense of sensuality, to be more sexually magnetic.
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