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Showing results for tags 'depression'.
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The situation: The BF is depressive and anxiety prone, not very good with expressing what's going on in his head or heart. He often says stupid things and gets upset with me for things I simply do not understand. Trying to portray the specifics would require a novel. Last night I cried myself to sleep after a phone conversation, not having a clue what he was tripping on, and I'm leaving today to spend a few days with him. It will be months before I see him again and I have seriously considered not going, which will only make it worse and break my heart. Sigh, he just called, wondering when I'll be there, and it seems everything is fine, like nothing happened, this is normal. What I believe: He has some internal struggle dealing with his emotional attachment to me, he's been hurt, his self worth destroyed, and doesn't have much experience dealing with love. I'm the opposite of everything he knows, empathy, patience and love are my forte, not to sound weird about that. I think my experience with him has illuminated me to those qualities in myself. Loving someone who struggles with depression is a full time commitment. I'm already struggling with the knowledge that I won't see him for awhile. I really want him to open up and get whatever it is out in the open, for better or worse. It's been years and we both need to come to terms with whatever it is that's ailing him, at least in terms of "us". The constant struggle between him pushing me away one minute and having a death grip on me the next is wearing me thin. I can't risk anything with A1 in it, if anyone has a suggestion on a blend that could help him communicate and deal with his emotions I'm all ears. I've spent hours/days reading review threads, I guess I'm hoping that someone has experience with similar circumstances and could provide some helpful insight. If we part at some point I'd rather not have a bunch of unsaid things that should have been addressed, and I really want him to be better for our time together, not further damaged.
I originally found LP because my mom is dating again after a messy divorce and pheros were intriguing to me. Thanks to google and LPMP I'm now a bit obsessed with researching pheros in general and could use a little help/ advice for myself. Here it goes, all out. My hubby and I are over 40, 20 incredible years together and I have a boyfriend in his 50's. We are all friends, everything is honest and open, no secrets. I never dreamed I would be in a poly relationship but after 4 years of the worst sexual tension imaginable between the now BF and I the three of us took the plunge into what has been our relationship of three years. Generally speaking everything is great. The trouble is the BF suffers from anxiety and depression,being witness to the bad days can tear my heart out. He is also the only one that struggles with the social fears of acceptance in regards to our relationship. He has a bit of baggage from the ex wife, and some abandonment issues. Sometimes he subconsciously tries to push me away. I'm sure that some of that comes from having very traditional upbringing and views about relationships and an internal struggle with being the "third". None of us ever planned or imagined this would happen. When his depression gets the best of him he makes comments about how I'm going to go away too. He is a drear friend to my hubby and I love him very much, although there are no certainties in relationships, I don't see myself going anywhere, away from him, unless he decides to leave. What started out as friendship and the most animalistic, primal attraction I have ever experienced has turned into a very compassionate and loving relationship. My husband and I were both raised with good ol traditional values but as adults we have learned that love doesn't necessarily follow rules. The advice part: I would welcome any thoughts on what pheros I could wear that may help ease his anxiety without losing the sexual spark that exists between us. This is a very sincere request and I would appreciate casting personal judgements aside.