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I originally found LP because my mom is dating again after a messy divorce and pheros were intriguing to me. Thanks to google and LPMP I'm now a bit obsessed with researching pheros in general and could use a little help/ advice for myself. Here it goes, all out. My hubby and I are over 40, 20 incredible years together and I have a boyfriend in his 50's. We are all friends, everything is honest and open, no secrets. I never dreamed I would be in a poly relationship but after 4 years of the worst sexual tension imaginable between the now BF and I the three of us took the plunge into what has been our relationship of three years. Generally speaking everything is great. The trouble is the BF suffers from anxiety and depression,being witness to the bad days can tear my heart out. He is also the only one that struggles with the social fears of acceptance in regards to our relationship. He has a bit of baggage from the ex wife, and some abandonment issues. Sometimes he subconsciously tries to push me away. I'm sure that some of that comes from having very traditional upbringing and views about relationships and an internal struggle with being the "third". None of us ever planned or imagined this would happen. When his depression gets the best of him he makes comments about how I'm going to go away too. He is a drear friend to my hubby and I love him very much, although there are no certainties in relationships, I don't see myself going anywhere, away from him, unless he decides to leave. What started out as friendship and the most animalistic, primal attraction I have ever experienced has turned into a very compassionate and loving relationship. My husband and I were both raised with good ol traditional values but as adults we have learned that love doesn't necessarily follow rules. The advice part: I would welcome any thoughts on what pheros I could wear that may help ease his anxiety without losing the sexual spark that exists between us. This is a very sincere request and I would appreciate casting personal judgements aside.