Jump to content

Enhancing what you have or filling in gaps?


Recommended Posts

I was just wondering whether people mainly use pheros to more or less enhance the kind of person they already are or to change their signature in order to fill in areas they feel they lack? I'm speaking about the non-sexual pheros because I'm pretty sure I know what those are for!

 

The reason I ask is that I often look at Dom and wonder if I should try some. I am NOT a dominant person. I'm not a pushover either but the thing is that I'm a died-in-the wool people pleaser and the quintessential diplomat. Nevertheless, there are a number of *ssholes in my life that really need to be dominated! I decided instead to look at pheros that would enhance strengths that I feel I already have, like SWS and LFM (I'm worried I can't pull off Dom but I think I can do mysterious and regal because despite my people pleasing tendencies I have a reputation for being impossible to read).

 

So I'm wondering what other people do? I'm hoping that the good people on these boards have tried all kinds of phero strategies before and can offer some insights on this question.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Idk, my motto is that you don't know until you try it out. If I'm hesitant I'll get a sample of a scent that's enhanced with pheromone blend I want to try.

Edited by Beccah
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest cutie.pie

Pheros + attitude = MAGIC!

 

I had a problem with my ex some time ago. He just wouldn't listen to what I have to say regarding our twins. I'm a nice person, kind, Pisces... so I thought DOM would never work for me. But then I got an advice from our Dolly about the attitude. So when he came to pick up our twins I applied some DOM and set an attitude in my mind that I am the dominant one! And it worked. I felt like I was a bull and he was my red rag (not sure if I said it right). And he responded to DOM very well. Next time he came he brought me fresh fish :)

 

Give DOM a try! :)

Edited by cutie.pie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was just wondering whether people mainly use pheros to more or less enhance the kind of person they already are or to change their signature in order to fill in areas they feel they lack?

IMO the second part of that statement is only possible if you exhibit those qualities, in that situation, which you may not normally embody, that a mix can assist you with attempting to be a certain way. But a pheromone mix does not create a personality/persona for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I LOVE LFM, but I also love Dom & Leather. it's really not as out there as you might think.

IMO Dom is steely, assertive, determination. it's a different vibe from LFM or SWS.

I'm not sure if Dom Noire is your type of scent, but as Beccah said getting a trial of that would be a cost efficient way of testing the phero.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting. I know that pheros are not a magic wand - as in you can't slather on a few and make someone who hates you and finds you unattractive suddenly want to get in your pants. But the thing is - I often want to be more assertive and dominant. The intent is there, but my innate instinct to be diplomatic gets in the way. Sometimes I don't want to spend so much time going over all the angles and trying to make everyone play nicely - I just want to get sh*t done and people are being difficult. But it takes A LOT to push me to this point. I have a very long fuse and I'm extremely patient and tolerant and I think that sometimes it might be better for me if this wasn't the case.

 

And my ex is definitely one of the people I would be interested in trying Dom on, although there are definitely some others I wouldn't mind using it on as well.

 

Perhaps a sample is in order. In the meantime, I welcome advice from anyone else in this situation!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I found that my b/f really likes the stronger phero signature, and like you, I don't feel very dominant..lol. I wear Leather a lot, and B.I. (around him). I haven't really tried Dom yet, but I will. Combining the pheros with a confident attitude really makes a difference. :)

I think you should give it a try..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IMO the second part of that statement is only possible if you exhibit those qualities, in that situation, which you may not normally embody, that a mix can assist you with attempting to be a certain way. But a pheromone mix does not create a personality/persona for you.

 

It primarily does the first - enhance who you are. They can even enhance a bad mood - for the negative. I also think Luna's observations above are very accurate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dom is a great blend. It won't change your fundamental nature, like Luna said, but if it works for you then here are some things you can expect; people will be more respectful, acknowledge your authority. It's also great for self discipline. I like to use it when I'm working out, I drive myself harder. The only adverse effects I've experienced is when I have PMS, then my bitch mode gets multiplied by a factor of 10.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, both, but as has basically already been said, pheros won't change your personality. What they can do is nudge things and if you or the people around you are open to being nudged in whatever direction the pheros point toward then the pheros can move things along that way.

 

Speaking of Dom in particular, I get the impression that the description and name make people who haven't tried it before feel a bit concerned that it might be bitch juice, perhaps in part because of cultural baggage around dominant women. I am here to tell you (as will some of Dom's other fans, I think) that it is not usually sharp or harsh in the way it boosts that dominant edge; it's not bitch juice... unless you're like Beccah and you use it when you have PMS! What it does do is put you in charge, both in the minds of others and for yourself. That second effect is the one that is most likely to work to give you a boost to that part of your personality if it is latent. Dom is one of the select few phero blends from which I get discernible selfies and it does make me feel confident and in control, and lends a bit of swagger.

 

Based on what you've posted here I think Dom will be great for you to stop having to "make everyone play nicely" and instead "get sh*t done". Not only will Dom send others the signal that now is not the time for them to be difficult, but in my experience it will give you relief from worrying about going round in circles to please everyone and instead let you take control and focus on results.

 

ETA: It's clear that some other folks experiences bitchy feelings themselves with Dom but I haven't experienced that. This is what happens when you speak in terms of sweeping generalisations! What has been important to me is that I haven't experienced others responding with a sort of 'who does that bitch think she is' vibe, which was more my concern when I was first experimenting with Dom than that it would make me feel bitchy. That is just my normal state of play!

Edited by donsie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I'm glad to hear that Dom isn't really bitch juice because that means there are way more situations in which I can use it.

 

But on the other hand - nothing wrong with bitch juice every once in a while, right? There are definitely situations when I would take a slug of the stuff before wading in there and getting sh*t done! :Troll-stalking:

Ok, when I save up more money next month I will get a sample of it. I can't see any fragrances with it in right now except Dom Noire, which I can't see wearing - so I'll just go with UN.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:lol: Hey, even if it was, we all know "bitches get sh*t done."

 

 

Well, I'm glad to hear that Dom isn't really bitch juice because that means there are way more situations in which I can use it.

 

But on the other hand - nothing wrong with bitch juice every once in a while, right? There are definitely situations when I would take a slug of the stuff before wading in there and getting sh*t done! :Troll-stalking:

Ok, when I save up more money next month I will get a sample of it. I can't see any fragrances with it in right now except Dom Noire, which I can't see wearing - so I'll just go with UN.

 

Ha, well, you can probably take it in that direction if you want to! I just remember being really pleased when I wore it even in slightly fraught situations and people didn't react as if I were being abrasive or anything, they didn't bristle.

 

 

Just in case you haven't come across this info yet, Equinox: you can only get unscented phero samples during November's Pheromas. That being said if you don't want to take a chance on an FB (understandable) then you might be able to get someone to decant some for your or split a bottle of unscented Dom with someone else on here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Like others said, it's not bitch juice, but i did find at times when I was predisposed to bitchy behavior, like PMSing or people acting really crazy at work, it did make it really easy to go there. too easy!

Yes, I agree. I don't wear this PMS but then I don't like any pheros at that time. (Occasionally Balm Bomb that's it). But overall I like it and it's very good for working out, great bonus.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My analogy - which some might perceive as misandry - is that Dom doesn't make you into a bitch...it actually makes you into a bastard - because it feels like having more T, and it's been suggested that testosterone promotes a significant lack of empathy which allows you to believe that your agenda is, in fact, the greater good, and therefore you get shit done. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, interesting stuff. Luna, I often feel that the word "bitch" gets thrown around when women are simply acting more like men. When I was with my ex, whenever I was the slightest bit assertive with him he would get all, "Oh, is it that time of the month?" and so on. I hate that. Like somehow standing up for yourself, like men do all the time, is somehow not legitimate when a woman does it and is the result of crazy-making hormones. Just pat the little woman on the head and wait a few days until she's "normal" again. (Incidentally - he was never right. It was never "that time of the month." It was just a trope he used to use to put me down). :thumbdown:

 

And Donsie, I didn't know that about phero samples. Hmmn. Maybe I should try Leather instead? Lots of people seem to like it and it might be in some of the fragrances. Ok, I'm off to go check!

 

ETA: Nope, looks like I'm in FB territory for either. However, in perusing the list of all the phero fragrances, I just found a whole pile of other things I might like a sample of. Isn't that always the way?

Edited by Equinox
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Love your avi! Yeah, that nonsense of minimising what you want/say/do because teh crazy wimmin hormones is infuriating.

 

Sure, give Leather a try and you can always get Dom if Leather works but you want something that isn't quite as femme. Unfortunately I don't think it's in any fragrances at the moment. You might just have to see what NRs bring. Not too long now!

Edited by donsie
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My analogy - which some might perceive as misandry - is that Dom doesn't make you into a bitch...it actually makes you into a bastard - because it feels like having more T, and it's been suggested that testosterone promotes a significant lack of empathy which allows you to believe that your agenda is, in fact, the greater good, and therefore you get shit done. :P

ha. That's good

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, interesting stuff. Luna, I often feel that the word "bitch" gets thrown around when women are simply acting more like men. When I was with my ex, whenever I was the slightest bit assertive with him he would get all, "Oh, is it that time of the month?" and so on. I hate that. Like somehow standing up for yourself, like men do all the time, is somehow not legitimate when a woman does it and is the result of crazy-making hormones. Just pat the little woman on the head and wait a few days until she's "normal" again. (Incidentally - he was never right. It was never "that time of the month." It was just a trope he used to use to put me down). :thumbdown:

Hello and welcome to Male Privilege, established since forever. :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See, bitch is no longer gender specific to me. I think that has changed in the last ten years. Just like asshole and to a lesser extent dick are not reserved for just men anymore. But since I used it in the traditional female sense I'll amend my statement to Dom makes me a huge asshole. I was ready to start a fist fight with a stranger in the mall because they cut us in the trick or treat line. Seriously. I was talking shit. Loudly. I never ever do that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dom makes me feel really grounded and confident. Never had a bad experience with it. But then I'm also a huge fan of epi. My body responds well to the more masculine side of the female phero mixes ( I get nothing from Cuddle Bunny). I'm grateful for the variety that LPMP has !

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My analogy - which some might perceive as misandry - is that Dom doesn't make you into a bitch...it actually makes you into a bastard - because it feels like having more T, and it's been suggested that testosterone promotes a significant lack of empathy which allows you to believe that your agenda is, in fact, the greater good, and therefore you get shit done. :P

 

Not at all. That is Mrs. QG's almost daily "bitch" - if she puts her foot down to the stupidity, then she is at best "angry", more likely a bitch. The guys do the same, and shit gets done. Even if it is the wrong thing.

 

Hello and welcome to Male Privilege, established since forever. :lol:

 

I could use more of it here around the house, thanks! :P:lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

It's totally weird for me bc DOM flips bitch switch into high gear and not in a good way. I've only tried it 2x (in UN 2 sprays each time) and felt irritable etc. That said, I didn't note when in my cycle I tried it, but didn't like that irritability so less likely to try again soon.

 

Leather however, I really like and brings out alpha and confidence. I think the EST takes the 'edge' off or whatever. :)

 

I agree with others that the pheros enhance vs. create. Which is also the beauty of it because I feel like I discover some wonderful things about myself that can come to the surface. A wonderful journey in phero-world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...