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Cougar Potion (pheromone-enhanced perfume)

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I ordered Cougar in the trial size now I wish I had gotten the bottle. Yesterday I wore it to work and just put a tiny amount on. I could not even smell it anymore after awhile. Knowing pheros still work I took notice that when guys walked by they would stop and look back. Even from a distance someone stopped and looked back and smiled. Guys do not usually do that to me anymore so it was a nice suprise. I love the scent too! Guess I know what to put on my list to get...

Cougar rules!! :) Get it.

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I ordered Cougar in the trial size now I wish I had gotten the bottle. Yesterday I wore it to work and just put a tiny amount on. I could not even smell it anymore after awhile. Knowing pheros still work I took notice that when guys walked by they would stop and look back. Even from a distance someone stopped and looked back and smiled. Guys do not usually do that to me anymore so it was a nice suprise. I love the scent too! Guess I know what to put on my list to get...

 

I'll always have a special affinity for scented Cougar; the sample I got was the first thing from LPMP that I ever tested in public. It succeeded in helping me turn the head (literally) of my crush, who up until then had been in the "Is he kind of interested or just being friendly?" category. From then on it was no longer a mystery. :purr:

Edited by Witty Kitty

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Hi! As reported by thread here: http://lovepotion.invisionzone.com/index.php?showtopic=11492&hl=

 

I wore Cougar on my last day in Florida and let me tell you not only does this stuff smells good, (yes, i'm getting a full size bottle) I got hits..............from insects!

 

o.m.g. I dab a small bit on my neck and when I was waiting for the bus to the event, those suckers came and bit me.

 

At least I met some really nice guys who thanks heaven was able to get me a good deal on tickets...I was really lucky :say19:

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Oh yeah, the bugs go after me mercilessly when I wear certain LPs! But, as a favorite natural health guru once said of organic food; "if the bugs don't want it, then neither do I." Lol, not sure if that exactly fits...but I just take it that we're extra delicious with our LPs on.

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@Fang do you have any tales to tell about this bad boy yet? I think you've persuaded me to try it, along with reading some other threads :)

 

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5 hours ago, Vicki Lee said:

@Fang do you have any tales to tell about this bad boy yet? I think you've persuaded me to try it, along with reading some other threads :)

 

no not yet, letting it sit a bit before trying!

tried mostly Gossamer threads as a trial vial and think that will be a full bottle next time, first time i tried it, i used it to go see my therapist male just to see his reaction lol, well while speaking to me during therapy he asked me if he could whisper in my ear, this was like a joke and made us both giggle, so i think it had some effects there lol, then after that i went into town and walked by a begger who was a young guy of around 35 i would say and good looking, so the guy asks me for some money, and i say after i come out of the shop, so on my way out i get approched by the guy again and so i look in my purse for some coins and i give him a euro in coins and the guy said thankyou can i give you a kiss?

which he did but it was the french greeting kiss.

so that was the first day of trying gossamer, i don't have anymore left but will be buying full bottle for sure when i can.

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Please y'all... Tell me why the past three months I passed up cougar because of the name.... I literally thought it was only for older women... ? I'm a good fresh ripe 20 year old, going on 21 in March (I know, I know I'm still a young'n). But I have been on Birth control for like 3-4 years so... I'm currently debating between this, Lumina, and LFM. But I feel like I need to get my wardrobe game up before I can start sporting LFM. I only have old unflattering clothes from high school :neutral: because I 1.) only go to work and home,  2.) Weight fluctuates like a mofo, and 3.) I'm waiting for Black Friday/Cyber Monday so I can get a boat load of cute cheap clothes. I really want to wait for the Phero trials but it's too far away for me to wait for my liking... But I really have this impulse where I want to buy like three UN Phero blends, and a boat load of scented trials. And take like the next month or two to see if they work. Because I'd be very sad if I just got one and it didn't work. :( I know I could try a scented trial vial but.... Idk. I actually got cougar as a freebie with my very first purchase. I think the mini-trials (have the size of regular trials) you all call "sniffies." It's veryyyyy strong in it's scent in fact this is the first one I got a headache from sniffing too much lol that grapefruit is NO joke. 

 

18 hours ago, Fang said:

no not yet, letting it sit a bit before trying!

tried mostly Gossamer threads as a trial vial and think that will be a full bottle next time, first time i tried it, i used it to go see my therapist male just to see his reaction lol, well while speaking to me during therapy he asked me if he could whisper in my ear, this was like a joke and made us both giggle, so i think it had some effects there lol, then after that i went into town and walked by a begger who was a young guy of around 35 i would say and good looking, so the guy asks me for some money, and i say after i come out of the shop, so on my way out i get approched by the guy again and so i look in my purse for some coins and i give him a euro in coins and the guy said thankyou can i give you a kiss?

which he did but it was the french greeting kiss.

so that was the first day of trying gossamer, i don't have anymore left but will be buying full bottle for sure when i can.

Ooooh awesome CB in general is on my to try list down the line! ☺️

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so i wore cougar today lol!

so i go see my therapist, he is my tester incognito, so he says monday i wore a dress, lol i never do, so we talk about stuff and my child hood molested years which is why i don't wear much dresses today and he says "wow monday night you wore a dress, you look look better than better wearing it, he is now thinking i don't wear dresses to avoid men which i do in a sense because after going through years of child abuse from an african baby sitter in africa i'm kinda of afraid to draw male attraction!

so i can say it worked on him lol, he is my tester as i know the effects from him and know they won't go too far lol!

so tonight at home i made a small trial vial 25% cougar, 25% tusamie cops, and 1 drop of aja!

will see monday the effects lol!

soo far cougar and gossamer are my favs!

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lol cougar is still my go too, every time i wear it i get men advances lol, but only from the oldest guys for some reason, this works great on my therapist who is almost 70 lol 20 years my age, tommorow night is therapy night so here we go cougar lol!

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Oh, Cougar how I love thee, let me count thy ways!

Oh goodness THIS ONE!  So I first bought the trial size because I wasn’t sure about it and the name....I’m not looking to attract any younguns...but I am 43 and on bc and becuz of previous bc had gained 20 pounds (which I did finally loose last year) and felt kind of like I’d lost my mojo...so another whim and I got the trial size...well this stuff smells so amazing I had to turn around and get the FB! The self effects are freakin amazing! I do smell the grapefruit a little in the beginning but the dry down with the Amber is heavenly. It is definitely a popularity type potion for me (I haven’t tried the actual PP YET eventually I’m sure I will). I am a Leo and naturally gregarious but as I mentioned before.. I really felt like I’d lost my mojo. Anyways...with this one I have other stylists asking me to chime in with their clients and pple who were not necessarily chatty with me before are suddenly all about it! The other thing is that I have people almost desperate to make eye contact with me...I’m putting on the cape to start cutting their hair and they’re turning in the chair to catch eye contact with me....they can do that with the mirror but I have them turning around to make sure we make eye contact lol. I put cougar potion in all of the usual places you would with normal perfume or oils..but I also anoint my hands with it and I do run it through my hair. What happens when I do that you ask? Well then it’s “oh can I wait for her to cut my hair?” And “wow you’re having a great hair day!” (This has been true even on extreme humid days when I assure you my hair looks like Rosanna Danna lmao) 

As another poster mentioned it def gave me my swagger back. Hell, I’m even checking my own self out!  I have been layering it with LPRed too for an out of this world combination...the hits just keep coming! 

As I mentioned before I didn’t get this one to attract any younguns lol I have a boyfriend and we are happy together. What I’d hoped for was a more youthful appearance so I could attract more customers and boy did it deliver! So don’t let the name keep you from trying it the self effects alone are worth it..

”When I’m a walkin’ I strut my stuff then I’m so strung out...if I’m high as a kite I just might stop to check you out...” 

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I'm trying to figure out how I feel about Cougar Potion.  I love the smell - it wears beautifully on me and as for self-effects, it seems to make it easier to walk with confidence and to project a vibe of "here I am and I deserve to be here!!" vibe.  I honestly think it makes my wrinkles less obvious to my eyes viewing my image in the mirror, lol.  That's a nice effect!

 

That vibe is my normal presentation, tho.  Even if I'm not feeling it (as I tell my kids, fake it 'til you make it, lol).  I think I've been expecting more.  I have it in oil and just ordered it in spray so that might make a difference in "hits".  There have been a few hits that seems relatively out of the norm - just not that far out of the norm for me to be convinced that it's CP w/SC in and of itself.

 

I'm worlds away from being a beauty queen but get more than my share of attention from men.  I've never been exactly sure WHY and now that 50 is looming, the amount of attention directed my way surprises me.  There are the obvious things:  long hair, trim shape, body conscious clothes and a obsession with high heels which undoubtedly help.  People tend to think I'm younger which is lovely because all the years of smoking and tanning have certainly caught up with me - and it shows.  Omg does it show - but who am I to argue with that particular perception, lol? 

 

On a day/night where I'm feeling all bubbly and smiley and confident, I get attention.  On a day/night where I'm feeling all bubbly and smiley and confident and wearing Cougar Potion, I get attention.

 

Regardless, the perfume itself is gorgeous, so it'll definitely continue to get worn. 

 

More testing :).

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I’ve been messing around with Cougar Potion with OCCO White lately.  I like CP...I am just having a hard time telling what exactly it does for me.  I love (as in absolutely ADORE and could happily huff myself all day) the scent, but remain unsure about effects from the Phero.  However, w/ OCCO White (I’ve been wearing the combo exclusively for dinner out for the last three weeks), I’ve found that female waitstaff are super sweet with me - not unusual.  However, the male waitstaff get closer and closer to me each time I talk to them and when they’re ferrying stuff to the table.  Like so close, I’m practically breathing in their ear...cops or CP or perhaps both.  I’m not sure but it’s cracking me up.

I forgot to mention a couple bouncer incidents with this combo, lol.  We live in a very temperate area so we eat outside as often as we can especially in the “winter”.  A lot of these restaurants have big beefy and delicious guys guarding the boardwalk to the beach during the evening.  Twice now since putting this combo on,  I’ve had the big, stoic, YOUNG and non-talkative dudes start talking with me - being totally appropriate even if a little chatty based on prior experience - but when I’ve said something just a touch off color (and really, hardly at all) they’ve followed me around the rest of the night and tried to convince me to come back in another night - or another day so they can bring me drinks on the beach without their shirts, lolol.

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The guy I have been seeing for the last four months and who I’m in a committed relationship with reacts the best when I’m wearing CP. Now I love CP, I just have found that odd. I would have thought Gotcha but nope, he almost reacts negatively to Gotcha. Anyone know why? He reacts positively where I wear a combo of Open Windows and Cuddle Bunny. I call it my Cuddle Windows LOL. 

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Oh, lordy.  So, I'm new to pheros.  And, I realize that I'm having a hard time always starting with the less is better concept and have to force myself to restrain from slathering things on...especially when I find the intent of the phero fascinating and/or effective and the accompanying perfume delicious.  I'm learning from experience the hard way 🙄.

 

My daughter is in Cheer.  She's tight with a new group of friends in her newish school and I'm in favor of these girls because they are all nice, well brought up and act right.  All of the moms are tight and also super involved in Cheer (coaching, even)  I have pretty much nothing in common with any of them except 1) we all have daughters and 2) our daughters all do tumbling and cheer.  So, my daughter has been really wanting me to try to snuggle up to these women in order to be even more in the group.  I get it.  There are things she doesn't get invited to because it's the moms who want to hang out and I'm not at all part of the mom group.  I won't lie - I don't particularly want to be.  But, that being said, if being more a part of their group is gonna make my kid happy, I'm willing to try.  However, they are very cliquish and not terribly welcoming.  And I'm shy and run out of things to say - especially because we have very little in common.  They also say crappy things about how "skinny" I am that are supposed to funny but aren't.  So that's awkward as all hell to say the least.

 

I've learned by accident that one mom is SUPER sensitive to cops.  I don't wear those if there is even a chance I might see her.  I've tried TH.  Nothing bad, nothing good.  I've worn OW.  Nothing bad, nothing good.  I wore PP once and there was more interest in me, but not much more.  I tried Levitation.  The girls loved it, but the moms?  Not that I could tell.  I was wearing Teddy BB once when I ran into one at Target.  Zip.  Balm Bomb made the girls tell my daughter over and over again how amazingly "chill" I was, (lolol) but the moms?  Nada.  LFM?  Nope.  Just more distance.  H&S didn't give me anything noticeable either.  GG was great for the girls.  The one mom I saw that day was nice enough but still distant.  However, I guess this is a lot of info that has nothing to do with CP, lol.

 

My BIG mistake was to wear Cougar Potion the last time I saw  them.  Spouse and I were going out later and last minute I found out there was a Cheer registration event my daughter wanted to go to.  So, I gotta say, I had slathered on the CP.  I had oil roll-on layered with spray (I've been doing a lot of that since we live somewhere hot)...likely more than I needed, but I was thinking about where spouse and I would be, not that I was going to be hanging out with these women.  Two of them (the main ones I'm supposed to cuddle up to) couldn't even stand by me.  It's not that they were mean and ugly, but they were totally not interested and totally wanted to have a physical distance from me.  We were outside (thank god) and there was a wind blowing (maybe not so great since I was blowing right on them).  Anyway, note to self:  CP is not good to wear in bulk when one is trying to make friendly with chilly, not so welcoming women.  Sigh.

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, HipGrrrl said:

Oh, lordy.  So, I'm new to pheros.  And, I realize that I'm having a hard time always starting with the less is better concept and have to force myself to restrain from slathering things on...especially when I find the intent of the phero fascinating and/or effective and the accompanying perfume delicious.  I'm learning from experience the hard way 🙄.

 

My daughter is in Cheer.  She's tight with a new group of friends in her newish school and I'm in favor of these girls because they are all nice, well brought up and act right.  All of the moms are tight and also super involved in Cheer (coaching, even)  I have pretty much nothing in common with any of them except 1) we all have daughters and 2) our daughters all do tumbling and cheer.  So, my daughter has been really wanting me to try to snuggle up to these women in order to be even more in the group.  I get it.  There are things she doesn't get invited to because it's the moms who want to hang out and I'm not at all part of the mom group.  I won't lie - I don't particularly want to be.  But, that being said, if being more a part of their group is gonna make my kid happy, I'm willing to try.  However, they are very cliquish and not terribly welcoming.  And I'm shy and run out of things to say - especially because we have very little in common.  They also say crappy things about how "skinny" I am that are supposed to funny but aren't.  So that's awkward as all hell to say the least.

 

I've learned by accident that one mom is SUPER sensitive to cops.  I don't wear those if there is even a chance I might see her.  I've tried TH.  Nothing bad, nothing good.  I've worn OW.  Nothing bad, nothing good.  I wore PP once and there was more interest in me, but not much more.  I tried Levitation.  The girls loved it, but the moms?  Not that I could tell.  I was wearing Teddy BB once when I ran into one at Target.  Zip.  Balm Bomb made the girls tell my daughter over and over again how amazingly "chill" I was, (lolol) but the moms?  Nada.  LFM?  Nope.  Just more distance.  H&S didn't give me anything noticeable either.  GG was great for the girls.  The one mom I saw that day was nice enough but still distant.  However, I guess this is a lot of info that has nothing to do with CP, lol.

 

My BIG mistake was to wear Cougar Potion the last time I saw  them.  Spouse and I were going out later and last minute I found out there was a Cheer registration event my daughter wanted to go to.  So, I gotta say, I had slathered on the CP.  I had oil roll-on layered with spray (I've been doing a lot of that since we live somewhere hot)...likely more than I needed, but I was thinking about where spouse and I would be, not that I was going to be hanging out with these women.  Two of them (the main ones I'm supposed to cuddle up to) couldn't even stand by me.  It's not that they were mean and ugly, but they were totally not interested and totally wanted to have a physical distance from me.  We were outside (thank god) and there was a wind blowing (maybe not so great since I was blowing right on them).  Anyway, note to self:  CP is not good to wear in bulk when one is trying to make friendly with chilly, not so welcoming women.  Sigh.

Two things IMO. Yes, the place you were was not ideal for Cougar. 

Sure she could have been put off by any amout of Cougar. But, I think the  issue might have been your dose.

I've worn Cougar to school'ish and other social places. My average dose for that is approximately 1 swipe of oil at nape of neck and a 2" swipe smooshed between wrists. 

I

My friend and I took our kids for a quick vacation. We went out at night, July 4th. Had a great time and some serious flirtatious action with a cute guy. I used 1 big spray from my unscented x2 cougar bottle with Magnolia Fairy cake. 

Different situations for sure. But, wherever you end up, don't ghost yourself. We have all done the ghost at one point. At least you have a funny story. ;)

 

I have a cure for you. When you go back to the Cheer Moms try wearing Treasured Hearts. No cops or anything sexual. TH is great all round. It goes with other women. I call it the old bitch tamer. It's great for family time or alone time with your DH (you could add a dab of cops for that). It would fit right into your life with all those moving parts.

 

I regard to the other ladies... and for yourself, I also recomend Balm Bomb or Teddy BB. They are very relaxing blends. 

 

 

 

Edited by StacyK

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I don't wear cops around other gatherings of mostly women, in general, especially if there are men nearby (UNLESS I am with my man and giving off that very obviously attached vibe......like, "I don't want your man, I have one of my own that I am happy with").  Subconsciously, they may see you as competition. I don't think I have had that happen with Cougar, though.  I would have to check my notes. If it did, it had to have been a long time ago..  I think it is possible that you were way over the top on the dosage.

 

I would try to work with the TH or OW with those women, and maybe work on the dosage.  Stick with one for a few times though.  Let them get to know your phero signature.  Switching up often can potentially cause confusion.  TH has been my fave with "bristly" women.  Start slow and work your way up.  TH is a wonder blend as for creating that "sorority sister", spread-the-love vibe.  But you have to find the right dosage. 

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Posted (edited)

Thank you @StacyK and @Dolly.   I’ll definitely retry Treasured Hearts...OW has been great for me in other situations, so if TH doesn’t give me what I’m looking for, I’ll try that later.  I guess if all else fails I can wear the Balm Bomb for me so I end up giving fewer f*cks, lol.

 

I was wearing way too much in any case.  No cops except what may or may not be in Cougar Potion.

Edited by HipGrrrl

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12 minutes ago, HipGrrrl said:

Thank you @StacyK and @Dolly.   I’ll definitely retry Treasured Hearts...OW has been great for me in other situations, so if TH doesn’t give me what I’m looking for, I’ll try that later.  I guess if all else fails I can wear the Balm Bomb for me so I end up giving fewer f*cks, lol.

 

I was wearing way too much in any case.  No cops except what may or may not be in Cougar Potion.

 

Cougar has just a splash of cops, so it is "public-friendly".  But you can "ghost" with any phero if you wear too much.  If people start trying to get away from you, or act like you don't exist......two of the big signs.

 

@HipGrrrl  how have you been wearing the Treasured Hearts?  Have you been using it already added to a scent?  Or have you been wearing it covered with another scent?  If separate, is the phero in oil roll-on or spray?  What medium is the scent in?  May be able to troubleshoot this.  It may be an issue of diffusion.

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1 hour ago, HipGrrrl said:

Thank you @StacyK and @Dolly.   I’ll definitely retry Treasured Hearts...OW has been great for me in other situations, so if TH doesn’t give me what I’m looking for, I’ll try that later.  I guess if all else fails I can wear the Balm Bomb for me so I end up giving fewer f*cks, lol.

 

I was wearing way too much in any case.  No cops except what may or may not be in Cougar Potion.

Just remember to start out easy, note how much you wear. Work your way up from there. It may take a couple of tries or you might get lucky and hit that sweet spot right away. Like Dolly said, if you post about what medium your TH is in, Unscented? spray? Oil? You could get a few recommendations here.

 

TH is great to help the friendship bond/smooth interactions with other females. 

OW is always good to have. :)

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Most of my pheros are in oil. Some I have both in Spray and oil.

 

UN-TH is oil only in the pherotine dropper.  I do have UN-OW in oil (dropper) and 60/40 spray.  MOST of my UN pheros are in the pherotine droppers (with the exception of UNStone Cougar (spray 60/40), UNCuddle Bunny (oil roller) and UN-LFM (oil roller and 60/40 spray). 

 

If they’re an UN, I generally apply a perfume and add the phero on top.  Typically I want the spray for hair (if not cops heavy) and roller on body.

 

In the above Cougar Potion extravaganza (scented), I used oil and spray.  I not only recall being heavy handed but I smelled like it too, lol.

 

Thank you, ladies!

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9 minutes ago, HipGrrrl said:

Most of my pheros are in oil. Some I have both in Spray and oil.

 

UN-TH is oil only in the pherotine dropper.  I do have UN-OW in oil (dropper) and 60/40 spray.  MOST of my UN pheros are in the pherotine droppers (with the exception of UNStone Cougar (spray 60/40), UNCuddle Bunny (oil roller) and UN-LFM (oil roller and 60/40 spray). 

 

If they’re an UN, I generally apply a perfume and add the phero on top.  Typically I want the spray for hair (if not cops heavy) and roller on body.

 

In the above Cougar Potion extravaganza (scented), I used oil and spray.  I not only recall being heavy handed but I smelled like it too, lol.

 

Thank you, ladies!

 

 

Yes, TH is not very smelly, so you can apply a perfume and then add the phero on top.  That will help the phero get out there.  The oils will take a warmer environment in order to diffuse, but sprays like Cougar and OW would diffuse well when sprayed to hair (especially if you're a hair flipper like me). Sprays will generally diffuse faster than the oils, so keep that in mind when you are applying.

 

 

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Thanks @Dolly.  I live in FL, so warmth is generally not a problem (good riddance winter, lol)...and yes.  Total and unapologetic hair flipper - except that one time when I almost put a dude’s eye out with my hair.  I was super duper apologetic  that time 🤗.

 

I do think that at times I forget the UNs are significantly stronger than the blended perfumes and it’s easy for me to over apply...I TRY not too, lol.

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2 hours ago, HipGrrrl said:

Thanks @Dolly.  I live in FL, so warmth is generally not a problem (good riddance winter, lol)...and yes.  Total and unapologetic hair flipper - except that one time when I almost put a dude’s eye out with my hair.  I was super duper apologetic  that time 🤗.

 

I do think that at times I forget the UNs are significantly stronger than the blended perfumes and it’s easy for me to over apply...I TRY not too, lol.

Another Floridian here :) I stick with oils in the summer for this reason.

And yes, good riddance to winter ;) 

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My very first and worst OD was with Cougar and that was in Sparkle Fuschia not even full strength. People LOVED me though. I just made myself super super sick. Also it might have had something to do with the scent. I cannot stand the scent of Scented Cougar. It’s super stabby to me and burns my nose and hurts my brain. But it does sound dosage related whether it be phero, scent or both. Also personally I think these ladies sound like assholes. I totally get trying to befriend them for your daughter’s sake but I wouldn’t get my hopes way up. Sounds like they are going to be cliquey no matter what.

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Yeah.  My hopes are not high, but I feel like I’ve gotta try...my favorite people are nice people, dammit.

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@oceanjewel The only bad thing I’ve found about living in Florida is how much the Love Bugs love LPMP scents, lol.  I was cleaning their carcasses off my car one day wearing something lovely and so help me, I’ve never had bugs swarm me like that.  

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, halo0073 said:

My very first and worst OD was with Cougar and that was in Sparkle Fuschia not even full strength. People LOVED me though. I just made myself super super sick. Also it might have had something to do with the scent. I cannot stand the scent of Scented Cougar. It’s super stabby to me and burns my nose and hurts my brain. But it does sound dosage related whether it be phero, scent or both. Also personally I think these ladies sound like assholes. I totally get trying to befriend them for your daughter’s sake but I wouldn’t get my hopes way up. Sounds like they are going to be cliquey no matter what.

Oh Halo! You just made the juice jump right through my nose. I didn't expect that. LMAO!!

Based on my experiences in that area (in the past now). Um YEA. But, I was usally lucky. There's always that one other mom more like you. Hopefully @HipGrrrl 's daughter with be friends with her kid. ;)

That's why I zoned right in on TH. Let the old bitch tamer earn her keep. It's helped me deal many times.

Edited by StacyK

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, halo0073 said:

My very first and worst OD was with Cougar and that was in Sparkle Fuschia not even full strength. People LOVED me though. I just made myself super super sick. Also it might have had something to do with the scent. I cannot stand the scent of Scented Cougar. It’s super stabby to me and burns my nose and hurts my brain. But it does sound dosage related whether it be phero, scent or both. Also personally I think these ladies sound like assholes. I totally get trying to befriend them for your daughter’s sake but I wouldn’t get my hopes way up. Sounds like they are going to be cliquey no matter what.

 

True.  Some people are just assholes.

I LOOOOOOVE the scent of scented Cougar, AFTER 20-30 minutes.  My skin amps grapefruit, so until it wears a bit, I am screamingly, painfully.......HI I'M GRAPEFRUIT!  But after it calms down, it is beautiful on me.  I have had others verify that I don't just develop a tolerance or something.  It does calm WAY DOWN on me. It is interesting to me how everyone's skin chemistry changes/absorbs/blooms different notes.

Edited by Dolly

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Posted (edited)

@HipGrrrl I'm also throwing in a vote for TH, have you tried Friends and Lovers? I'm thinking a scented spray might be best as you'll be less likely to overdo it.

The skinny comment makes me wonder if they're jealous of you? Are they wondering if their husbands will be checking you out? If that's the case, maybe a unisex social blend would be helpful, like Open Arms w/ Open Windows. Island Rain w/ OW could also be a winner, because it's watery and tropical. I'm a huge fan of Drive By Fruiting, but maybe the sweetness and the heat may not be the right combo under these circumstances. Open Arms and Island Rain, both being unisex, would make you less threatening.

 

It seems like at a girls cheer event with a bunch of involved moms has enough of an overly female vibe, I'd say work the angle of you NOT being exactly like them. I'd say shoot for more 'tomboy' balance, even if you are a girly-girl, everyone's got both masculine and feminine sides. Don't give up on Teddy BB, B2.2, and Balm Bomb!

 

On 5/25/2019 at 7:06 AM, HipGrrrl said:

wearing Teddy BB once when I ran into one at Target.  Zip.  Balm Bomb made the girls tell my daughter over and over again how amazingly "chill" I was, (lolol) but the moms?  Nada

 

The girls liking you and talking about you is good! If they're happy around your daughter's chill mom, they'll want to be at her chill mom's house. You can't expect the mom's to realize, "I was feeing shitty, then I saw that new cheer mom, and now I feel better." But maybe she did, 30 minutes later, standing in line. You're going to have to divide and conquer and get at least 15 min with one of them alone. Then they'll know it was you that made them feel better. Also, cliques are sometimes just people who've been through a lot together. I'm not known for being overly interested in becoming friends with new people, but I already know so many awesome people that I don't have time for now. It's very hard to actively maintain more than a handful of friendships, you know that. And you don't really want to be part of the mom's group, you just want your daughter to be happy.

 

How about you just make yourself useful in other ways? I like to be the "costco run" mom. I don't need to sit and kvetch to get my kids invited to the party, I just need to show that I care and that I'm an asset by carrying heavy shit and being useful. I don't go to everything, but when I do go to a school party I try to make my dish/cake/contribution memorable. And that's what makes me like them, we all care a lot about our kids and we'll go the extra mile.

 

 Be ready, at the drop of a hat, to be useful to the group, driving, bringing snacks, whatever. I'm not like most moms, but all mom's love the mom's that make their job easier. Bring healthy snacks for the mom's, fruit or veggies, no carbs, since they've already told you they're fat compared to you. Or bagels or muffins or tamales or soft pretzels or whatever it is people eat where you live. (I don't know where you live.) Just not cupcakes. You don't want them to feel worse. Bring a big Peet's coffee set up, the gallon of coffee in a box and cups, cream, napkins and whatnot. (Dear God, I hope you love somewhere civilized where you have good coffee.)

 

You can just joke "we're always focused on these girls and no one's taking care of us." If you happen to be wearing Teddy BB or B2.2 while a grateful mom is holding a hot cup of coffee, she might want to just rest her head on your shoulder. And when you're putting out that "I've got everything under control, baby girl" vibe, mention that your daughter's been asking for a play date / sleepover at your house. Then, not only did you provide snacks & caffeine, but now she's getting free childcare and maybe a date night. Now she owes! You gave her coffee and you're helping to get her laid, you're in and so is your daughter. Or maybe just your daughter's in because everyone has fun at your house, and that's all you really want, right?

 

Don't try to hard, you be you. And I understand that your daughter thinks she wants you to suck up, but long term, it's a better example to be yourself. You can be a more fun/useful version of yourself, but you don't actually need these women to like you or accept you, they just need to know that things are better when you're around. The fact that her friends told her you were chill is, IMO, the highest compliment out there. Pretty soon they won't want to hang with their own moms, it just happens, but who wouldn't want to go to the cool moms house?

Edited by Eastwood22

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Posted (edited)

Wow, @Eastwood22!  Thank you so much of all of these great tips!!  You've given me many things I haven't really fully thought out myself.  Thankfully, the girls all really like me and like to be at our house.  I actually often take them all back to my house on tumbling lesson day after school - which has been helpful for the moms and makes my kid happy.  Frustratingly, the one week I couldn't do it, I got weird passive aggressive backlash from one of the mom's because she was irked her unofficial Tuesday afternoon/evening babysitter (me 🙄) wasn't available.  I told her two weeks in advance, wry lol.  You're totally right about being myself - and I KNOW that someone bringing me food and/or coffee would make them much more palatable on many levels!!  There is a jealousy factor there regarding the weight for sure.  It's so stupid because ALL of these women are attractive.  I work HARD to stay in shape, especially as I reach perimeni.  Plus, I'm significantly older than all of them - but thankfully, WAY cooler, lololol.

 

Sigh.  There's always something, isn't there?   I'll have to really think about all that you brought up.  Lots of fabulous advice.  Thanks again.

Edited by HipGrrrl
P.S. Maybe I'm not really cooler, lol. I'd like to think so, though :)

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Posted (edited)

@HipGrrrl  "Thankfully, the girls all really like me and like to be at our house.  Iactually often take them all back to my house ontumbling lesson day after school - which has been helpful for the moms and makes my kid happy."

 

Yes, I used to do that too. I didn't mind having kids over and everyone was happy.

Also, a good way to interact with each parent one on one and sus them out fast. ;)

Becareful with the babysitting thing. That's a slippery slope. We had a school/neighborhood book. Sort of a co-op babysitting exchange thing. It worked for some. It rapidly moved from convienice to hassled stress for me. I backed out slowly. But, was always glad to help out those we interacted with if available. Plus, the pick up/ having the kids over made up for it. They actually wanted ne to be the keeper of the "book" a huge binder with family info etc which had been in the the neighborhood for 15 years then. I guess I seemed like the right choice, my friend group was a diverse range of personalities. ie. some did not like others bla bla.. and knowing me through having the kids over etc. But, no. It did not work for a few reasons and I got out fast 

 

What dose do you use for the TH dropper? 

If you like TH I definately recomend a spray as Eastwood mentioned. Starting out with an enhanced scent, if you like the fragrance, is a great way to go. I have it in a couple of enhanced. But, for economic purposes I have an Un Spray. My dose for an *UN SPRAY is usally 1 spray (start at 1) never more than 2. Everyone has their own sweet spot. But, the best advise is to start out easy. 

When you vary from scented to UN you have to change your dose, the UN is stronger 1000mcg. Enhanced is 333mcg. 

 

With my son I was at the same age level or just a few years younger than most of the other moms. With my daughter I was usally one of the slightly older moms. But, honestly the age was not the total factor in who I was BFF with at the time. I had so many other things to focus on. It really didn't come up for me.

Sounds like you take care of yourself, good for you. Health = feeling good. 

 

* just a tip I turn my face away and hold breath when I spray. So I don't inhale the dose. I got raging headaches from TH and Cougar because I inhaled w/o thinking. 😵 

 

Hope to see your reviews when you get a chance to test. 

 

 

 

Edited by StacyK

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Posted (edited)
On 5/26/2019 at 4:09 AM, halo0073 said:

I cannot stand the scent of Scented Cougar. It’s super stabby to me and burns my nose and hurts my brain.

Something's always been off with me, here's more proof. I took this as a dare and wore it to bed last night to see what it would do to me! Like it was the cinnamon challenge or something! (By the way, I had told my BF about the cinnamon challenge and he swore he could do it AND HE DID. FN weirdo.) Nose not burnt, brain not hurt. No sex though, and I always get some with UN Cougar, so not a total win. 

 

@StacyK we had a babysitting co-op, 10 families, that started with my new mom's support group. The rules were super strict and one person did the binder for one month in a set rotation and we had meetings every three months. We had a point system, you spent or earned 1 pt per child for every 15 minutes. The rules kept it healthy, but we used the internet to track requests and the person with the binder had to keep track of points and fill requests. The month you had the binder SUCKED, but the other 9 months were awesome! One major rule was that you couldn't go into negative points. I remember one mom arguing that you should be able to, except the rest of us all had 60-150 points, and she just couldn't understand why she couldn't go into the negative. It didn't seem that hard to understand for the rest of us.

 

@HipGrrrl, this reminds me of this woman right here. You don't owe her shit. Perhaps ask her if she wants to do a regular trade? You can say "I know you really like having Tuesday afternoons off, do you want to do a set day trade? She won't, but maybe she'll remember that you're not her employee. I hope the other women show more gratitude to you for taking care of their babes.

19 hours ago, HipGrrrl said:

the one week I couldn't do it, I got weird passive aggressive backlash from one of the mom's because she was irked her unofficial Tuesday afternoon/evening babysitter (me 🙄) wasn't available

 

 I hope I'm not being too bossy! I love to give advice but I'm not great at taking my own advice. But you might be too confident or thin or hot or wise or nice or they just don't like how their husbands like your ass in those jeans. Or maybe you have an accent or the wrong hair or they're insecure or maybe you make them feel dumb because they don't get your jokes. I once had a guy give me "you're a lot smarter than me and I don't get your jokes and it makes me feel dumb(er)" as one of his legit reasons for breaking up with me. You're not a Capricorn, are you? 

 

Point is, maybe they just don't like you and the reasons don't matter because maybe they have crap taste in friends. Or they're tired and it's safe to be a clique because they're scaredy-cats with no imagination. 

Once I was out in a cafe with the women from my new moms support group, the same ones I had babysitting co-op with. We knew whose baby didn't latch on right to nurse, which baby stayed up all night, and who's lazy ass husband wouldn't put up a shelf or give their baby a bottle in the middle of the night. We all had (or were about to have) medical release forms to watch each others kids and take them to the hospital if necessary. I think there were between 5 to 7 of us there, and a woman who worked at the cafe stopped and said something about one of the babies and my friend Katherine answered her in her English accent and then turned back to us. The woman then scolded her and us for being "cliquish" and being dismissive of her and told us we were rude. She unleashed a torrent of hot anger and shaming towards us that took us off guard and stunned the rest of us into total silence. Mind you, none of us had ever seen her before and this coffee get together took 2 weeks and prob 20 combined hours of planning. Katherine, being British and proper and also extremely sensitive to exclusion issues, being employed as the head of the international student union at UCBerkeley, apologized profusely. Personally, 13 years later, I still wish she hadn't apologized on my behalf. That woman was out of her tree and used her self righteous anger to shame a bunch of tired moms. We weren't a mean girls clique, we were a bunch of women who had all smelled each others baby's poop, just wanting to complain about whatever we wanted to complain about in peace and with coffee without getting scolded by strangers.

 

My completely off-Scented Cougar topic rant is leading here-

Maybe these moms all suck. Maybe just one of them sucks and the rest are cool. Maybe they're all cool but they know you're only being nice for your daughter and you'd never talk to them otherwise and they don't even know you go to the gym. But they could be a clique because they've been thru hell together and they just don't know you and they're tired and it would be entirely too much work to get you up to speed. If you're patient and kind you'll find out eventually. Either way, you're a great mom for trying so hard and some day you won't know any of those people EXCEPT your daughter and she will love you for all the effort AND for staying true to yourself.

 

Back to the topic of Scented Cougar, I like it but it didn't get me laid so I'll stick to my UN Cougar!  UN Cougar brings out some aggression in my man with just one spray to the nape of my neck so I can't imagine ever going without it. 

 

Edited by Eastwood22

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2 minutes ago, HipGrrrl said:

@Eastwood22, so totally a Capricorn, lol.

Really? Well, that might be it. You're not also blonde, are you? It's a dangerous and easy to misunderstand combo.

 

I'm a Libra but can pick out the Capricorns at a dinner party of mostly strangers fairly quickly. I have a dry sense of humor, but because I'm a big tittied blonde, sometimes the things I say don't come off as jokes, but seem more like something a "dumb, but pretty" person might say. Capricorns always laugh and reveal themselves that way! There's a really good chance these women don't get your jokes or have a clue that you're even joking. I once read, to my friend in her car, off a horoscope app that she recommended, that "one of us" might not get the others jokes and it could lead to hurt feelings. She's not one to ever crack a joke. I said something about "obviously that would be you," and she told me that for the first year or two that she knew me she had to constantly ask herself "is she joking?" and reassure herself that I was trying to make the funnies. I felt bad. I don't mean to be an ass!

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Posted (edited)

LOL! I'm a Capricorn too! Cap Sun, Moon, Mercury & Jupiter! LOL! Sagittarius Ascendant, Venus & Mars though, so it evens out all my Cappy "no fun" bits. ;)  :lol:   

I wondered what your sign/rising sign were a few days ago, @Eastwood22, when you mentioned that your BF is Gemini. Mine too. Gemini Sun, Moon & Mars, all conjunct, two of them in his 3rd/Gemini House. He's an uber Gemini. 

Edited by Eggers

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Lol - not blond but long hottie hair.  Sadly, my sisters got all the boobage in my family as well.  I’m pretty dry, but with a big smile, lol. People generally think I am clever and hilarious or look at me totally blankly when I’m being funny...and I come from a family where sarcastic wit was always rewarded.  My grandmother was one of the most hilarious people ever, but Jesus, she was mean.  It was never fun to be on the wrong side of her wit. That being said, I’m a pretty gentle person and am almost always told how nice I am.  I also don’t talk sh*t about people but these women do 🙄.

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1 minute ago, HipGrrrl said:

Lol - not blond but long hottie hair.  Sadly, my sisters got all the boobage in my family as well.  I’m pretty dry, but with a big smile, lol. People generally think I am clever and hilarious or look at me totally blankly when I’m being funny...and I come from a family where sarcastic wit was always rewarded.  My grandmother was one of the most hilarious people ever, but Jesus, she was mean.  It was never fun to be on the wrong side of her wit. That being said, I’m a pretty gentle person and am almost always told how nice I am.  I also don’t talk sh*t about people but these women do 🙄.

Of course they do. That's par for the course. Lol

 

@Eastwood22 yes. That was the deal point system and all. The binder, this group was bigger it had around for sometime, was a 6 month to 1 year commitment. There's always that one (or 2) person in the group. But that was not the only reason. I just didn't feel the commitment fit well for myself. I didnt want to be one of those other people. 

Yes.  The binder was a pain. Its not for someone with ADHD, IMO. Not for me at least. 

 

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@Eastwood22, I had a boyfriend tell me I was super intimidating once when we were having what I thought was a very calm and civil discussion about something - can’t remember what now.  This is the one and only time I’ve ever been told I was intimidating.

 

i finally realized it was because I was using “big” words.  He sure was pretty, but not the smartest guy ever. After a while the pretty just wasn’t enough, lol.

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1 hour ago, StacyK said:

Yes.  The binder was a pain. Its not for someone with ADHD, IMO. Not for me at least. 

 

Yeah that was always the worst month. We started it when our kids were all within 4 months old, 9 of 10 families had 2nd kids, one had a third. We had this insane jumping in process, where a prospective family needed to have a play date with every single family, and attend two monthly group social events and I'm sure a bunch of other things. 

 

Two poor women almost got in and got voted Nope at the end of their initiation. One woman got voted down by me because she locked her baby in the car when it was already 85 degrees (remember, the temp goes up10 degrees every 10 minutes in a car in he sun on a hot day) and was content to wait 20 minutes for AAA to come while her baby cried the whole time. When we finally got doors open, she stood there talking to the guy while her kid still screamed, I got him out of car and ran halfway down street to the shade and she sauntered over, eventually. Possibly in slow motion. 

 

I met this woman who saw the binder not long after that and she said she wanted in, I laughed and said "good luck." I explained the difficult vetting system, she explained she just moved from Sweden and had zero friends in CA, no job, and absolutely nothing to do. She magically jumped thru all the hoops and we're still friends.

2 hours ago, HipGrrrl said:

People generally think I am clever and hilarious or look at me totally blankly when I’m being funny...

....

 I’m a pretty gentle person and am almost always told how nice I am.  I also don’t talk sh*t about people but these women do 🙄.

Oh, I know that look!

 

I want to be generous and give these women the benefit of the doubt, but they don't have a ton of appeal, in my book. Sounds like you should just treat them like they have non-stop 24/7 PMS and stick to Teddy BB or B2B.

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, HipGrrrl said:

Lol - not blond but long hottie hair.  Sadly, my sisters got all the boobage in my family as well.  I’m pretty dry, but with a big smile, lol. People generally think I am clever and hilarious or look at me totally blankly when I’m being funny...and I come from a family where sarcastic wit was always rewarded.  My grandmother was one of the most hilarious people ever, but Jesus, she was mean.  It was never fun to be on the wrong side of her wit. That being said, I’m a pretty gentle person and am almost always told how nice I am.  I also don’t talk sh*t about people but these women do 🙄.

Boobage is a pain. It only wants to move south as time goes on. Sometimes East & West too. I have been wanting little disco boobies lately. You know the type. You can wear a slinky top with a bit of a drop neck. No bra, no problem. Oh well.  

Also IDK but It seems like women with smaller chests have less arm fat too. Maybe?

 

Edited by StacyK

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