Ex-husbands and pheromones?

[Eastwood22]

I have noticed that my ex-husband seems to respond positively to Open Windows, Treasured Hearts, and perhaps anything else I've worn around him like MLH, H&S, possibly SS4W (Not cops!)

 

We have kids together and he pays my mortgage and some other bills, and I generally like him as a human being, and it's in our kids best interest that we get along. He also did cheat on me and gaslight me for 3 years, and left me for someone less attractive, less intelligent, and pretty shapeless and lacking in personality. She does have really beautiful hair, though. I still dislike her very much, because she did a bunch of weird stalker shit, and even accepted my sincere apology for my "unwarranted accusations." But I now have a fabulous, loving, kind, intelligent, articulate, emotionally available and attentive man, and my ex is now stuck with that quiet cow. (He likes that she doesn't talk. I talk. He hates talking.)

 

I am very curious as to what pheros people wear around ex's? Mostly I want to keep the peace, sometimes I don't mind reminding him that he's dumb. He's also very alpha male, like caveman like, so wearing stuff with a-none wouldn't threaten him or make him uncomfortable. (MLH around my boyfriend, which was of course on me because of my kids, rubs him the wrong way.)

 

I'm sure that you're all spiritual giants, and would never want to make your ex's feel dumb, but I'm not there yet. I'm definitely not shooting for cruelty or torture or excessive power, just wondering what other people have done in this kind of situation. I'm not a spiritual giant myself, quite yet.

 

So, I want to hear your stories. Whether you want peace or power or money or prizes or just seeing remorse on their faces, has anyone had any effective or surprising or fun effects with pheros and their ex's?

 

 

 

[Eggers]

I'm generally an "I just want peace now" kind of girl when it comes to my exes. I'm friends with most of them, and see some of them pretty regularly.

 

I do have one - my very first serious boyfriend - who is pretty much part of my family now. He comes to all of our family functions (he goes to more than I do, actually), including Christmas. Apparently he's an EST responder, as I wore LP Red with Lace and cops to that Christmas gathering, and wound up stuck in the kitchen with him while he flirted his head off with me! BF was there, sitting just across the hall in the living room, and stayed clear, (smirking at my being cornered), despite my giving him the Rescue Me Eyes. It was a pretty dramatic reaction for the ex in question. And pretty entertaining for me.

 

In fact, last Christmas, exactly the same thing happened, come to think of it. Only last Christmas the ex had just split with his wife of nearly 20 years, and he was feeling pretty raw. It seemed like he really needed validation from me that he's still attractive, still a catch, and so was flirting with me like mad. (And again, BF stayed clear, preferring to sit, smirking at me from corner where he was yakking with my cousins). I'm pretty sure I was wearing Lace then, too.

 

There is one ex I have whom I haven't seen in about 5 years. We had a really stormy relationship, (both of us were pretty screwed up at the time), and we've run into each other socially and been able to not only get along, but get along like a house on fire because we weren't feeling that terrible possessiveness that marred our relationship. I know I played my part in the crappiness that was our relationship, but still, if I knew I was going to run into him at a party or something like that, I'd probably be loading on the LFN and a good spritzing of DHEAS, just to be a knob. Because what happened between us still annoys me to the Nth degree, and I'd want to feel good about myself - capable, sexy, beautiful - and maybe intimidate him just a little.

Edited November 9, 2017 by Eggers

[StacyK]

I have noticed that my ex-husband seems to respond positively to Open Windows, Treasured Hearts, and perhaps anything else I've worn around him like MLH, H&S, possibly SS4W (Not cops!)

 

We have kids together and he pays my mortgage and some other bills, and I generally like him as a human being, and it's in our kids best interest that we get along. He also did cheat on me and gaslight me for 3 years, and left me for someone less attractive, less intelligent, and pretty shapeless and lacking in personality. She does have really beautiful hair, though. I still dislike her very much, because she did a bunch of weird stalker shit, and even accepted my sincere apology for my "unwarranted accusations." But I now have a fabulous, loving, kind, intelligent, articulate, emotionally available and attentive man, and my ex is now stuck with that quiet cow. (He likes that she doesn't talk. I talk. He hates talking.)

 

I am very curious as to what pheros people wear around ex's? Mostly I want to keep the peace, sometimes I don't mind reminding him that he's dumb. He's also very alpha male, like caveman like, so wearing stuff with a-none wouldn't threaten him or make him uncomfortable. (MLH around my boyfriend, which was of course on me because of my kids, rubs him the wrong way.)

 

I'm sure that you're all spiritual giants, and would never want to make your ex's feel dumb, but I'm not there yet. I'm definitely not shooting for cruelty or torture or excessive power, just wondering what other people have done in this kind of situation. I'm not a spiritual giant myself, quite yet.

 

So, I want to hear your stories. Whether you want peace or power or money or prizes or just seeing remorse on their faces, has anyone had any effective or surprising or fun effects with pheros and their ex's?

 

 

 

I can say OW and MLH are fine. But, IMO, I strongly suggest staying away from H&S or any soft sweetie type blend.

The 2 mentioned above are good. But if you want to leave no doubt, if you want to eliminate the BS, wear Leather or Dom. Those are my #1 go to. Solve problems before they start.

Sends a clear stay out of my way/don't mess with me message.

 

Yea, my ex is dumb. But, dumb people rarely realise they are so.... I've long moved past it.

Thats why I love Leather and Dom. You dont have to talk about it. It speakes for itself.

Edited November 9, 2017 by StacyK

[luna65]

I'm sure that you're all spiritual giants, and would never want to make your ex's feel dumb, but I'm not there yet. I'm definitely not shooting for cruelty or torture or excessive power, just wondering what other people have done in this kind of situation. I'm not a spiritual giant myself, quite yet.

I don't actually know anyone who is.

[StacyK]

I don't actually know anyone who is.

Neither do I.

You'd never hear Yoda bragging.

[Bella15]

I agree with the Leather and Dom recommendations. I wear those a lot because my b/f responds well to them. But it also works on my ex-husband, lol. He used to try to make me feel dumb so I like to wear those around him. They just give me that little confidence boost

[Dolly]

I wear Dom around my son's Dad......who is in general, a big PRICK......and a bully. When I Dom him, he falls all over himself to make sure he doesn't offend me or piss me off.

[Eastwood22]

I'm generally an "I just want peace now" kind of girl when it comes to my exes. I'm friends with most of them, and see some of them pretty regularly.

 

I do have one - my very first serious boyfriend - who is pretty much part of my family now. He comes to all of our family functions (he goes to more than I do, actually), including Christmas. Apparently he's an EST responder, as I wore LP Red with Lace and cops to that Christmas gathering, and wound up stuck in the kitchen with him while he flirted his head off with me! BF was there, sitting just across the hall in the living room, and stayed clear, (smirking at my being cornered), despite my giving him the Rescue Me Eyes. It was a pretty dramatic reaction for the ex in question. And pretty entertaining for me.

 

In fact, last Christmas, exactly the same thing happened, come to think of it. Only last Christmas the ex had just split with his wife of nearly 20 years, and he was feeling pretty raw. It seemed like he really needed validation from me that he's still attractive, still a catch, and so was flirting with me like mad. (And again, BF stayed clear, preferring to sit, smirking at me from corner where he was yakking with my cousins). I'm pretty sure I was wearing Lace then, too.

 

There is one ex I have whom I haven't seen in about 5 years. We had a really stormy relationship, (both of us were pretty screwed up at the time), and we've run into each other socially and been able to not only get along, but get along like a house on fire because we weren't feeling that terrible possessiveness that marred our relationship. I know I played my part in the crappiness that was our relationship, but still, if I knew I was going to run into him at a party or something like that, I'd probably be loading on the LFN and a good spritzing of DHEAS, just to be a knob. Because what happened between us still annoys me to the Nth degree, and I'd want to feel good about myself - capable, sexy, beautiful - and maybe intimidate him just a little.

 

I like both of these stories. I'm friends with most of my ex's, to varying degrees. I can even text the wife of my most dramatic break up for the occasional "one of us is on the other side of the country" social event. i like happy endings. And I'm glad you were able to make an ex feel better, and I'm more glad your man is both self assured and mischievous.

[Eastwood22]

Bella and Dolly, clearly I need some Dom and Leather!

[Eve]

I can't offer much advice from personal experience using pheromones around my ex, but, if what you would enjoy is having a contrast between yourself, and the quiet cow (lol I enjoyed that!) what about something like LFM ? Or another phero that highlights the areas where you outshine her. I've never tried Popularity Potion, but that one would be one I would consider if I were in your situation. When I first divorced, saying it was acrimonious is putting it mildly, but time really can mellow things for some people, and it did for us. Now that I've discovered the world of pheros, if I know he is going to be around, I pretty much avoid anything that is considered a sexual pheromone that would encourage him to start looking back with rose colored glasses.

[Eastwood22]

Thanks Eve! It's really nice to hear so many perspectives. I'm willing to try LFM for sure. I don't get much space from him, as our kids are only 8 and 11 and he likes to run everything by me when he has them, whether it's buying one a coat or what sushi to order for them that they will eat. I don't mind that. It's just a pride thing, he hurt mine, so I guess that is it, I want him to be aware of the areas in which I outshine her. The more I see him struggle in life without me, though, I realize that was a big part of the problem, I was too shiny for him. I can see how dumb, plain and quiet would be easier for him.

[halo0073]

I agree with the Leather and Dom recommendations. I wear those a lot because my b/f responds well to them. But it also works on my ex-husband, lol. He used to try to make me feel dumb so I like to wear those around him. They just give me that little confidence boost

And from what you have told me, its him who is the dumb one, right? Lol. Thats funny. Cant imagine anyone thinking that you are dumb

[Beccah]

Idk, I don't bother wearing sh** around my ex because I don't want him around & don't want to trigger him. Whatever gets him to leave the fastest is what I grab, lol.

[Bella15]

And from what you have told me, its him who is the dumb one, right? Lol. Thats funny. Cant imagine anyone thinking that you are dumb

Exactly!! This guy wouldnt have graduated high school if it wasnt for me! ?

[Eastwood22]

Idk, I don't bother wearing sh** around my ex because I don't want him around & don't want to trigger him. Whatever gets him to leave the fastest is what I grab, lol.

 

 

You are really funny.

Edited November 12, 2017 by Eastwood22

[Eastwood22]

I agree with the Leather and Dom recommendations. I wear those a lot because my b/f responds well to them. But it also works on my ex-husband, lol. He used to try to make me feel dumb so I like to wear those around him. They just give me that little confidence boost

 

It's always the dummies that try to make others feel dumb!

[Eastwood22]

Question:

Do our emotions change our natural phero signatures? Our break up was really rough for me because he had been having an affair for years and gas-lighted the hell out of me so I slowly degraded into an insecure mess. I'm wondering if that possibly changed my phero signature to the point where he found me literally repulsive? I know I certainly wasn't enjoying my company at the time.

 

My ex-husband/kid's dad is a very Alpha male, and has been responding well to every social phero I've thrown at him. It's kind of bizarre how well he responds. Lumina somehow had us in the kitchen telling jokes the other day while my boyfriend helped my son with his math homework. This normally would've been an uncomfortable situation for all involved, but we did good. Shaun (BF) was wearing Mark's Girl Nip w/Perfect Match which may have made him more comfortable. Just to be clear, my ex-husband is 290 lb. on a skinny day, has been tattooing for over 25 years so appropriately covered, has long hair, broad shoulders, the profile of a Neanderthal and is known for being grumpy and quick to anger. He's also a total codependent and really kind and funny, but he's a Scorpio so if he doesn't like someone they can instantly feel it and are intimidated by him. He's also the youngest of his brothers and once said, "Once you get punched in the face enough times, you realize it's not really a big deal anymore." To the best of my knowledge, his only fears are potentially letting people down, not being able to pay his bills, losing his kids, and me. Apparently I am terrifying.

 

My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a laid back, smart, emotionally intelligent sweetheart cuddle bunny of a man, and weighs maybe 170 lb. I know he's only been in one fight his whole life, and as it was him beating up a man who beat up his ex-wife, I don't even think that counts as a "fight." (If I wear any blends with alpha male pheros around him during the day, he gets cranky. If we're already on our way to bed, it's all good.) EX is very careful to do his best impersonation of a cheerful kind person around BF because he knows me being happy is best for everyone. I'm thinking that the Perfect Match in Girl Nip probably did its job with the conquering of nervousness the other day, because that situation in the past might have been harder for everyone. We were pretty much huffing it that day.

 

BF's currently out of town, ex-husband was dropping off kids this am, and I decided today was the day to try Dominance. I loved how Beccah said she'd wear whatever would make her ex leave the fastest. Ex seemed really happy with me today. I think maybe all the crap and manipulation he pulled broke me down so much that I became this needy, insecure person. Before we had kids, and when we first met, I was financially independent and lived alone and didn't need a man for anything. It's hard to gauge, as he also seems to really enjoy not being yelled at and constantly reminded that he was a completely selfish manipulative prick, but he's been much more stoked to walk up the steps and come in the house lately. For a long time he would just wave from the driveway. And it's not like he felt he couldn't come in the house, he pays the mortgage and his kids live here, it was more than just being respectful, I think he was still afraid of me. I think that when I am wearing more alpha phero blends, he is actually more comfortable around me. My normal vibe is somewhat assertive, so I guess if I'm wearing an alpha signature he feels safer, like I'm not feeling vulnerable and won't lash out and remind him how he hurt me.

 

I know there are a few men out there, from what I've read on here, that do not appreciate EST. This is interesting to me, do these same men respond well to Dom? I'm now wondering what would happen with Charisma or SWS around him.

 

Oh LPMP, you are too much fun. Its fun to run experiments on my ex without having to use blood and candles and whatnot.

Edited March 11, 2019 by Eastwood22

[luna65]

I would say that they do in that we are sending signals about ourselves to others through a variety of cues, and pheromones are one of the ways we do it. Which is why people are eager to use them for social engineering, so they can broadcast one particular message to others. Our emotions - and the accompanying cues - tend to be more nuanced.

 

Dolly has also mentioned that her guy prefers a more alpha-type female so it could be that because your ex had come to see you that way in the past and think of it as "normal" so then the reemergence of that quality leads him to believe that things are normal again. Or as much as they can be in that situation.

[Beccah]

. Oh LPMP, you are too much fun. Its fun to run experiments on my ex without having to use blood and candles and whatnot.

I use the LPs when I'm feeling like an evolved/kind soul, but don't get it twisted; I will hex a bitch!!! :lol:

Edited November 22, 2017 by Beccah

[Eastwood22]

I use the LPs when I'm feeling like an evolved/kind soul, but don't get it twisted; I will hex a bitch!!! :lol:

You are the Mother of Dragons! I'm gonna guess that you disliking someone is the same as them being cursed.

[Dolly]

Dolly has also mentioned that her guy prefers a more alpha-type female so it could be that because your ex had come to see you that way in the past and think of it as "normal" so then the reemergence of that quality leads him to believe that things are normal again. Or as much as they can be in that situation.

 

Yeah, my soon-to-be-ex prefers the alpha females, so it would totally feel "normal" to him.

 

But my son's Dad, (one of my ex-assholes) was an abusive man who always had to be in control, and preferred the subservient females. When I wear Dom around him, I think it reminds him of when I "snapped"......sheesh, toward the end, right before I took my son and moved out, I decked his ass when I decided I was taking no more. I am 5'1" (and about 160-ish at the time) and he was 6'2" and 240-ish. He hit the floor, and I told him the next time he even THOUGHT about hitting me he had better knock my ass out cold and start running, because when I caught him, I would kill him with my bare hands, and I would LOVE every minute of it. It scared the hell out of him, but I think it also turned him on a little, KWIM? So yeah, when I deal with him in person, I always DOM the hell out of him......he LITERALLY backs away from me.....almost tripped backwards down the front porch stairs at my house one day......it was hilarious.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Dolly

[halo0073]

LMAO still one of my favorite Dolly stories even after hearing it many times. I literally imagine the whole thing. I have a vivid imagination so in my mind its like a movie. Omg I wish I could see video.

[Dolly]

LMAO still one of my favorite Dolly stories even after hearing it many times. I literally imagine the whole thing. I have a vivid imagination so in my mind its like a movie. Omg I wish I could see video.

 

Me decking him, or him backing down the stairs like a scared little boy? I personally wish I had BOTH on video......LOL

[Eastwood22]

 

Me decking him, or him backing down the stairs like a scared little boy? I personally wish I had BOTH on video......LOL

 

This makes me happy. I punched my husband in the face once for saying something that warranted a punch in the face. To this day, my therapist still wants me to apologize. How can I apologize for something that I will never regret until the day I die?

 

Sadly, I am clearly not as strong as you. I was 110 lb. at the time, he's 285 on a skinny day. I literally jumped on his face like Will Farrell jumping on the Christmas tree in Elf. He says it was one of the scariest moments of his life because he says when he threw me off of him, my head missed the dresser by an inch. He then ran out of the house barefoot and hid in his car. He texted me and asked if he could please have shoes and his cigarettes. When I let him in, he told me that if I was going to be violent, he couldn't stay. (He was scared he'd lose his temper and hit me back, or even that I'd hurt myself trying to hurt him, and I'd call cops, and he'd lose his kids. ) I told him that he was full of shit, that he deserved to be punched in the mouth, and that we both knew he'd been trying to get me to stab him in the neck for years at that point. And he laughed, literally laughed. At that point and in that moment, he knew I was right. Truth is, he could've taken multiple stab wounds and I wouldn't have proud of myself later, but it wouldn't have been entirely unreasonable. And honestly I'm sure he would've taken a stabbing over having to listen to all my words over those few years.

 

I'm sure he's still afraid of my words. But we try hard to be kind to each other now and I don't see me stabbing anyone in the immediate future. I offered him the kids for thanksgiving with no extra words whatsoever, and he's really excited to take them shopping for clothes to wear to his cousins for dinner. And he said he has $800 for me for my car repair from last week, so I will keep wearing the alpha phero's around him!

Edited November 22, 2017 by Eastwood22

[Dolly]

 

This makes me happy. I punched my husband in the face once for saying something that warranted a punch in the face. To this day, my therapist still wants me to apologize. How can I apologize for something that I will never regret until the day I die?

 

Sadly, I am clearly not as strong as you. I was 110 lb. at the time, he's 285 on a skinny day. I literally jumped on his face like Will Farrell jumping on the Christmas tree in Elf. He says it was one of the scariest moments of his life because he says when he threw me off of him, my head missed the dresser by an inch. He then ran out of the house barefoot and hid in his car. He texted me and asked if he could please have shoes and his cigarettes. When I let him in, he told me that if I was going to be violent, he couldn't stay. (He was scared he'd lose his temper and hit me back, or even that I'd hurt myself trying to hurt him, and I'd call cops, and he'd lose his kids. ) I told him that he was full of shit, that he deserved to be punched in the mouth, and that we both knew he'd been trying to get me to stab him in the neck for years at that point. And he laughed, literally laughed. At that point and in that moment, he knew I was right. Truth is, he could've taken multiple stab wounds and I wouldn't have proud of myself later, but it wouldn't have been entirely unreasonable. And honestly I'm sure he would've taken a stabbing over having to listen to all my words over those few years.

 

I'm sure he's still afraid of my words. But we try hard to be kind to each other now and I don't see me stabbing anyone in the immediate future. I offered him the kids for thanksgiving with no extra words whatsoever, and he's really excited to take them shopping for clothes to wear to his cousins for dinner. And he said he has $800 for me for my car repair from last week, so I will keep wearing the alpha phero's around him!

 

I punched the ex-asshole with a right cross dead to the center of his chest. Got him off-balance......he forgot that I was practicing kick-boxing......he slapped me for something I said, I set my feet, right cross to his chest, he hit the floor. Boom. Will never EVER be an apology. EVER.

 

Hopefully, the bulk of my interactions with my ex-asshole are over. My son will be 19 this December and he chooses NOT to have a relationship with his father who lives right around the corner. Hasn't seen him in about 3 years. Any interactions that I HAVE TO have with him will be when I am wearing Dom.

[Eastwood22]

Damn, Dolly. Any male who slaps his kid's mother is a lot of things, but "man" is not something I would call him. It's a bummer for your son, but he's clearly more of a man than his dad. Both of my parents are still children in so many ways, I surpassed them in maturity decades ago. Like your son, I decided to not have a relationship with my dad. A few years ago I reversed my decision for my kids sake, and then it turned out he was fundamentally the same person in 2014 he was in 1974. Even sometimes when people want to grow up, they just can't.

 

I had a boyfriend who hit me in high school. Made me such a stronger person down the road, it only had to happen with one guy for me to know it would never happen again. I love that you punched him in the chest and dropped him. Fucking awesome. No one gets it unless they've been there.

[halo0073]

The whole story Dolly, the whole thing. Except the part where he hits you. But everything after that.

[Eastwood22]

I feel like there's a PE in this thread. We can call it "Boy are you dumb."

[Eve]

I feel like there's a PE in this thread. We can call it "Boy are you dumb."

Our family has a longtime adage: Some people don't know, and can't be told.

[Eastwood22]

Today my daughter had a singing performance, which included her singing "My Way." She had asked my boyfriend to go, and he's actually been to some of the rehearsals. I reminddd my daughter's dad, and let him know BF was coming, too. I was wearing 6 sprays Lumina. We sat together, my ex-husband and son right behind myself and my boyfriend. Everyone seemed more comfortable in this awkward scenario than usual, my son was cuddly with his dad and BF and I weren't scared to touch each other a little bit and we were all making jokes. Afterwards we all took the kids to eat. It was still awkward, but my ex was much more talkative and friendly than usual. So when our kids are involved, Lumina will be my phero of choice. If it's just me and him and no one else, UN Dom or Swimming with Sharks will be my constant go-to's from now on.

Edited May 8, 2018 by Eastwood22

[Eastwood22]

Just in case anyone reads this thread with a similar issue, it turns out that EST was the magical molecule to turn my ex from a grumpy jerky guy to a helpful and kind guy. I now wear mainly EST or Cuddle Bunny to deal with him.

[Eastwood22]

Here's a personal perfume joke that no one might think is funny but me- 

Today I wore Lady MacBeth and EST for when my ex came over to pick up my daughter. Because EST (and I) have the power to control him and manipulate his weakness, like Lady Macbeth, and my worldly fortunes and destiny and still entwined with his as we own property together.  

[StacyK]

On 5/17/2018 at 5:28 PM, Eastwood22 said:

Here's a personal perfume joke that no one might think is funny but me- 

Today I wore Lady MacBeth and EST for when my ex came over to pick up my daughter. Because EST (and I) have the power to control him and manipulate his weakness, like Lady Macbeth, and my worldly fortunes and destiny and still entwined with his as we own property together.  

Ha. Doesnt it just suck you are stuck (on some level with him). That's my biggest issue. I just have no intrest and want no connection. We are so different on the levels that matter most to me.  But as i have kids with this person I have to deal.  THANK YOU LEATHER & DOM.

 

[Eastwood22]

3 hours ago, StacyK said:

Ha. Doesnt it just suck you are stuck (on some level with him). That's my biggest issue. I just have no intrest and want no connection. We are so different on the levels that matter most to me.  But as i have kids with this person I have to deal.  THANK YOU LEATHER & DOM.

 

Yup, same exact thing. He's on vacation and I've had to text him about a ballet recital and a final school project and some other fucking thing. And I love that DOM works for you like EST works for me. 

[Maya]

On 11/21/2017 at 11:45 PM, Beccah said:

I use the LPs when I'm feeling like an evolved/kind soul, but don't get it twisted; I will hex a bitch!!!

 

YASSSS!

 

I 100% agree. 

[Crash]

I haven't had the opportunity to spring any pheros on an ex, but this whole thread was an entertaining (and sometimes horrifying) read. 

 

If I were you guys, I would have no regrets about hitting back either. Good for you for standing up for yourselves and showing you won't be bullied! Tempting me to take some self-defense and kick boxing classes. Here's hoping I'll never need them.

[Eastwood22]

53 minutes ago, Crash said:

Tempting me to take some self-defense and kick boxing classes. Here's hoping I'll never need them.

I'm fairly certain that that's the best way to guarantee that you won't need them. 

[oceanjewel]

14 minutes ago, Eastwood22 said:

I'm fairly certain that that's the best way to guarantee that you won't need them. 

Yep ?