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Eastwood22

Need phero advice for tomorrow morning please

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Posted (edited)

Tomorrow morning, I have to be at my son's school for his "final exhibition," he's going to be dressed up and give a presentation on god-knows-what. (I'm not supposed to know.) Here's my situation:

 

1) I'll be there with my ex, whom is very easy to manage with EST, otherwise he can be a total prick. I like to occasionally remind him that he blew it. He know's he's a bit of a moron, but I wouldn't mind if he questioned his choices.

2) One of my kid's teachers happens to be someone that I have serious bad blood with. Lucky me, right? She's very smart, manipulative, used to write bondage books, and likes to rub in that she's very close with my kid's dad. It's a boy's school, I have zero doubt that she's a fantastic teacher, but I'm glad that there are no little girls at the school towards whom she could direct her cruelty. Bossing a bunch of 12 year old boys around and forcing them to reach new heights in their educations is perfect for her. I was wearing Liebchen w/ TH when she awkwardly crash hugged me multiple times.

3) I have zero female friends at the school. I thought I was making one, she texted me and asked if I wanted to take our boys to a local coffee shop. I told her that I didn't want to go to that one, as it's where the chick my husband was cheating on me for 4 years worked. I found out later that she knew and asked me to go there intentionally. Um, next! I've never even glanced her way again.

4) I believe that much of the staff thinks I'm not terribly interested in the school or my son's education. This is due to the fact that it is an all-boys school and my ex teaches one art elective there every week, so I assumed he had his finger on the pulse of admissions and whatnot. Turns out, no, it seems that in this family mom needs to manage everything, even when the kid's dad works at the school and socializes with the entire staff. Everyone on staff there thinks he's the bee's knee's, he can turn on the charm when he wants to, and looks like the world's most involved dad to them, when in the reality he's been with them at bedtime approximately 200 times in their entire lives, I did the other 4200 solo. Also, I know I've been the topic of discussion in the office because they had to discuss how to approach me on the fact that I wasn't packing my kid a lunch and sent me a sensitively worded email on how they knew feeding children was a personal family matter but bringing up his nutritional needs and how his energy falls later in the day because I don't feed him. He has ADHD and simply walks out without his packed lunch sometimes, I can't always drive it over, and he's told the school that I forgot to give him a lunch on those days. For the record, I don't actually withhold food from my kids or think feeding them is a personal choice. 

 

So, these are my needs-

Something to keep me untouchable like LFM for the bitches, something like Open Windows for the teachers, EST and maybe some cops for him, and some DHEAS for me. Suggestions? I will be wearing a long fitted casual but slinky maxi dress, boobs apparent but tastefully restrained, sensible lower heels that would never impair my walking skills. My outfit is nonchalantly sexy, still respectable for 11am, with less tattoos than usual showing. Should I steer more LFM or TH or OW? If I go OW, more people will talk to me, so it will be more obvious whom I will not be talking to. Same with TH, right? But doesn't H&S soothe the bitches? I don't actually want to talk to any bitches, I want to shun/unshun/shun them, like Dwight from The Office. Except I'm not 12, even though at least one of them acted like a middle school mean girl. I'm thinking TH plus EST plus cops plus DHEAS, but that's a lot of stuff. I think what matters most is that I'm comfortable and composed, and able to get out of my own head and be present for my son. (My son who loves lavender.)

 

What would you comfortable, composed, untouchable yet somehow approachable, funny popular vixens wear, phero-wise? Dom is not an option, there would be blood. I need to above stabbing people, both before noon and at school functions.

Edited by Eastwood22

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Wow! Tall order. Seem to remember you posting once before that LFM with some extra DHEAS was a good combo on you and LFM has EST in it.

Good luck!

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3 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Tomorrow morning, I have to be at my son's school for his "final exhibition," he's going to be dressed up and give a presentation on god-knows-what. (I'm not supposed to know.) Here's my situation:

 

1) I'll be there with my ex, whom is very easy to manage with EST, otherwise he can be a total prick. I like to occasionally remind him that he blew it. He know's he's a bit of a moron, but I wouldn't mind if he questioned his choices.

2) One of my kid's teachers happens to be someone that I have serious bad blood with. Lucky me, right? She's very smart, manipulative, used to write bondage books, and likes to rub in that she's very close with my kid's dad. It's a boy's school, I have zero doubt that she's a fantastic teacher, but I'm glad that there are no little girls at the school towards whom she could direct her cruelty. Bossing a bunch of 12 year old boys around and forcing them to reach new heights in their educations is perfect for her. I was wearing Liebchen w/ TH when she awkwardly crash hugged me multiple times.

3) I have zero female friends at the school. I thought I was making one, she texted me and asked if I wanted to take our boys to a local coffee shop. I told her that I didn't want to go to that one, as it's where the chick my husband was cheating on me for 4 years worked. I found out later that she knew and asked me to go there intentionally. Um, next! I've never even glanced her way again.

4) I believe that much of the staff thinks I'm not terribly interested in the school or my son's education. This is due to the fact that it is an all-boys school and my ex teaches one art elective there every week, so I assumed he had his finger on the pulse of admissions and whatnot. Turns out, no, it seems that in this family mom needs to manage everything, even when the kid's dad works at the school and socializes with the entire staff. Everyone on staff there thinks he's the bee's knee's, he can turn on the charm when he wants to, and looks like the world's most involved dad to them, when in the reality he's been with them at bedtime approximately 200 times in their entire lives, I did the other 4200 solo. Also, I know I've been the topic of discussion in the office because they had to discuss how to approach me on the fact that I wasn't packing my kid a lunch and sent me a sensitively worded email on how they knew feeding children was a personal family matter but bringing up his nutritional needs and how his energy falls later in the day because I don't feed him. He has ADHD and simply walks out without his packed lunch sometimes, I can't always drive it over, and he's told the school that I forgot to give him a lunch on those days. For the record, I don't actually withhold food from my kids or think feeding them is a personal choice. 

 

So, these are my needs-

Something to keep me untouchable like LFM for the bitches, something like Open Windows for the teachers, EST and maybe some cops for him, and some DHEAS for me. Suggestions? I will be wearing a long fitted casual but slinky maxi dress, boobs apparent but tastefully restrained, sensible lower heels that would never impair my walking skills. My outfit is nonchalantly sexy, still respectable for 11am, with less tattoos than usual showing. Should I steer more LFM or TH or OW? If I go OW, more people will talk to me, so it will be more obvious whom I will not be talking to. Same with TH, right? But doesn't H&S soothe the bitches? I don't actually want to talk to any bitches, I want to shun/unshun/shun them, like Dwight from The Office. Except I'm not 12, even though at least one of them acted like a middle school mean girl. I'm thinking TH plus EST plus cops plus DHEAS, but that's a lot of stuff. I think what matters most is that I'm comfortable and composed, and able to get out of my own head and be present for my son. (My son who loves lavender.)

 

What would you comfortable, composed, untouchable yet somehow approachable, funny popular vixens wear, phero-wise? Dom is not an option, there would be blood. I need to above stabbing people, both before noon and at school functions.

Holy crap, you have a lot to deal with tomorrow! How about Popularity Potion so everyone likes you but isn't jealous of you, some extra Est for the ex, and some cops so you feel sexy and confident. I love H&S the most out of all of the social / bonding pheros, but if you don't want to talk to people, I wouldn't wear it in that situation. Every time I wear it, I have long, deep conversations, even with people who I am not close friends. Just be yourself, focus on your son, and you'll have an amazing day. You've got this! 

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6 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Tomorrow morning, I have to be at my son's school for his "final exhibition," he's going to be dressed up and give a presentation on god-knows-what. (I'm not supposed to know.) Here's my situation:

 

1) I'll be there with my ex, whom is very easy to manage with EST, otherwise he can be a total prick. I like to occasionally remind him that he blew it. He know's he's a bit of a moron, but I wouldn't mind if he questioned his choices.

2) One of my kid's teachers happens to be someone that I have serious bad blood with. Lucky me, right? She's very smart, manipulative, used to write bondage books, and likes to rub in that she's very close with my kid's dad. It's a boy's school, I have zero doubt that she's a fantastic teacher, but I'm glad that there are no little girls at the school towards whom she could direct her cruelty. Bossing a bunch of 12 year old boys around and forcing them to reach new heights in their educations is perfect for her. I was wearing Liebchen w/ TH when she awkwardly crash hugged me multiple times.

3) I have zero female friends at the school. I thought I was making one, she texted me and asked if I wanted to take our boys to a local coffee shop. I told her that I didn't want to go to that one, as it's where the chick my husband was cheating on me for 4 years worked. I found out later that she knew and asked me to go there intentionally. Um, next! I've never even glanced her way again.

4) I believe that much of the staff thinks I'm not terribly interested in the school or my son's education. This is due to the fact that it is an all-boys school and my ex teaches one art elective there every week, so I assumed he had his finger on the pulse of admissions and whatnot. Turns out, no, it seems that in this family mom needs to manage everything, even when the kid's dad works at the school and socializes with the entire staff. Everyone on staff there thinks he's the bee's knee's, he can turn on the charm when he wants to, and looks like the world's most involved dad to them, when in the reality he's been with them at bedtime approximately 200 times in their entire lives, I did the other 4200 solo. Also, I know I've been the topic of discussion in the office because they had to discuss how to approach me on the fact that I wasn't packing my kid a lunch and sent me a sensitively worded email on how they knew feeding children was a personal family matter but bringing up his nutritional needs and how his energy falls later in the day because I don't feed him. He has ADHD and simply walks out without his packed lunch sometimes, I can't always drive it over, and he's told the school that I forgot to give him a lunch on those days. For the record, I don't actually withhold food from my kids or think feeding them is a personal choice. 

 

So, these are my needs-

Something to keep me untouchable like LFM for the bitches, something like Open Windows for the teachers, EST and maybe some cops for him, and some DHEAS for me. Suggestions? I will be wearing a long fitted casual but slinky maxi dress, boobs apparent but tastefully restrained, sensible lower heels that would never impair my walking skills. My outfit is nonchalantly sexy, still respectable for 11am, with less tattoos than usual showing. Should I steer more LFM or TH or OW? If I go OW, more people will talk to me, so it will be more obvious whom I will not be talking to. Same with TH, right? But doesn't H&S soothe the bitches? I don't actually want to talk to any bitches, I want to shun/unshun/shun them, like Dwight from The Office. Except I'm not 12, even though at least one of them acted like a middle school mean girl. I'm thinking TH plus EST plus cops plus DHEAS, but that's a lot of stuff. I think what matters most is that I'm comfortable and composed, and able to get out of my own head and be present for my son. (My son who loves lavender.)

 

What would you comfortable, composed, untouchable yet somehow approachable, funny popular vixens wear, phero-wise? Dom is not an option, there would be blood. I need to above stabbing people, both before noon and at school functions.

As I read this, I could feel my eyes getting wider and wider!  You already know I'm not the "go to" for phero advice though.   However, with my limited experience I would lean toward LFM and the DHEAS,    I've not ever tried PP....  regardless, don't forget cops.  Those are win win !

 

So, what I am envisioning from this post is you as Reese Witherspoon's character in Big Little Lies. 

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1 hour ago, Eve said:

As I read this, I could feel my eyes getting wider and wider!  You already know I'm not the "go to" for phero advice though.   However, with my limited experience I would lean toward LFM and the DHEAS,    I've not ever tried PP....  regardless, don't forget cops.  Those are win win !

 

So, what I am envisioning from this post is you as Reese Witherspoon's character in Big Little Lies. 

I think that's what I'll do, LFM and DHEAS, maybe a touch of Focus on the backs of my hands just for me. I'm not one to phero my kids, but I did run a little line of Focus under the collar of his dress shirt.

Thanks for the Reese character comparison! When people used to say, "Did anyone ever tell you..." they would say that I looked like Madonna. Like at least twice a week. At some point, it switched to Reese Witherspoon, but it's only once every few months, not all the time. love Reese, Freeway was such a solid performance for such a young actress. According to cameras, I do have a pronounced chin like she does, and a bit of that Legally Blonde "oh wow, she's blonde and she's smart?!!" thing happening. The best is the sideways compliments/insults regarding being blonde and having smarts or any skills whatsover. Like inviting people over for dinner and having them confess they thought I'd be a bad cook, but the food is actually really good! Um, ... thanks? 

Big Little Lies was amazing, no idea how they'll get a second season out of that. The book ended a little more neatly. 

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I mean. how long is the event?  Will you even need to manage all those things in the time that you're there?

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Posted (edited)

LFN. I would not add extra DHEAS. Don't mess with perfection... less is more...blah blah. Its all true with pheros. 

This is the kind of thing I use LFN for in a social context (outside of sex). I love it when I'm busy and want to handle people and tasks with gusto and style. Plus just a smidge of "Yes i am lovely but dont mess with me" aplomb. 

Edited by StacyK

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1 minute ago, StacyK said:

LFN. I would not add extra DHEAS. Don't mess with perfection... less is more...blah blah. Its all true with pheros. 

This is the kind of thing I use LFN for in a social context. I love it when I'm busy and wwant to handle people and tasks with gusto anand s style. Plus just a smidge of "Yes i am lovely but dont mess with me" aplomb. 

So, LFN instead of LFM?

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Eastwood22 said:

So, LFN instead of LFM?

Yes. All the way. 

I love them both. LFN has that slightly different "vibration". Yes, litterally thats how it feels to me. That dab of e'none on top of the LFM blend really works when I am in that busy no-nonsense mode. But, i can still enjoy myself.  Plus that littke edge to keep the creeps away. 

Edited by StacyK

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Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, StacyK said:

Yes. All the way. 

Okay, you're so clear on this, I will listen to you. And "listening" isn't what I'm known for!

 

It's entirely too early for Unbridled! I have a little pherotine, I'll maybe cover it with something peachy cupcake like. Would Lemon Fairy Cake cover LFN? Or maybe Lei's Femme Fatale!

Edited by Eastwood22

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3 minutes ago, Eastwood22 said:

Okay, you're so clear on this, I will listen to you. And "listening" isn't what I'm known for!

Lol. I have used it in similliar situations and had great outcomes. LFN while not intended to be a taskmaster, reallyworks in that aspect. Then you have the whole "queen bee" vibe which for me is the core of LFM/N. N being just a bit more intense in focus. Of course it also more sexual but the other elements elevate it and really keep it social/sexy so appropriate for your purpose. 

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Thank you! Hoping in shower now, and pretty sure it will be paired with Femme Fatale. 

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It funny. People tend to think of LFM/N as an "EST Blend" only. Est certainly plays a role in defining the blends. But, for me its the Epi-Androsterone. Thats the queen be phero in the mix. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Thanks Stacy! Everything went well, can't believe how hard it is for me to just listen to the advice I'm asking for! When I put on my denim jacket over my dress, I could my little pherotine of EST in the pocket from my last ex interaction. It was hard to resist the temptation but I managed to only be in LFN. I noticed he stood behind me a lot instead of sitting, and seemed much more uncomfortable than he's been lately. Not sure what's going on, but it's crazy if it's for lack of the exclusive EST or EST and cops treatment he's been consistently getting from me. 

6 hours ago, luna65 said:

I mean. how long is the event?  Will you even need to manage all those things in the time that you're there?

Yes, I actually did! I was with all of the people I needed to negotiate, plus 3 extra moms to interact with, one of whom I'm been less friendly than she'd like but only because she would always try to talk to me at the wrong time. That only matters because she was my bartender like 25 years ago, and some relationships are forever sacred. But real time wise? Less than two hours. But women can shove a lot of BS into 10 minutes, two hours could be an eternity.

Eve, Oceanjewel and Kayla, thank you ladies, also, for your support. It's nice to feel less alone walking into these kinds of situations. I'm a positive person and can shake off most anything but some of this crap just stirs up the older crap.

On a lighter note, getting dressed up for his event was a requirement for my son. I brought a dress shirt and stiff, dark, new jeans and newer shoes for him in case the ex failed to dress him up. Good thing I did because my son decided that he would dress up by wearing his tuxedo t-shirt, which says "classy tattoos for classy people" on the back. This was a graded event, like a final exam, and dressing up was required. I get that it's funny, but really? It would lower his grade by not fufilling basic requirements. 

Edited by Eastwood22

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Whew!  Okay then - I guess that's a good example of why I felt lucky I didn't/don't have local connections, too much drama for this momma!  Plus my kid's grown now so I don't have to worry about that kind of stuff, at least.  I was always on the outside of the moms' cabal.  Generally people exhaust me.

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eastwood22 i know you have heard this a lot - or you should have - if anyone can carry the day successfully - it is you!

 

i agree with everything stacey k says here of lfn

that epi-a is the queen bee along with everything stacey k says about lfn ~ perfect description stacey k ~ seriously perfect

 

lei's femme fatale sounds the right choice eastwood22 to see you through your day ~ it is "packing" on so many levels

and like swimming with sharks ~ the respect is there ~ and oh-so-much-more!

 

i will share something my grt-grt-grandmother taught me when i was a wee girl

it is to cocoon ones self in a violet light cocoon

and to just push away anything and anyone who is negatively in ones space with a great push of violet love ~ it has always worked for me in many situations

as i was going out the door into a difficult day she would call to me, "remember the violet love"

this held me safely much of my life ~ bless her 

 

~ this feels congruent with lfn and lei's femme fatale both of which feel violet to me

and made me think of this violet love

~ with the dynamics of your environment ~ this may come in handy now n then

 

if anyone can carry this day successfully ~ it is you !

 

 

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wow! wonderful eastwood22 so happy it all went well!

 

*my above note was very late here - after the fact in fact 

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48 minutes ago, Eastwood22 said:

Thanks Stacy! Everything went well, can't believe how hard it is for me to just listen to the advice I'm asking for! When I put on my denim jacket over my dress, I could my little pherotine of EST in the pocket from my last ex interaction. It was hard to resist the temptation but I managed to only be in LFN. I noticed he stood behind me a lot instead of sitting, and seemed much more uncomfortable than he's been lately. Not sure what's going on, but it's crazy if it's for lack of the exclusive EST or EST and cops treatment he's been consistently getting from me. 

Yes, I actually did! I was with all of the people I needed to negotiate, plus 3 extra moms to interact with, one of whom I'm been less friendly than she'd like but only because she would always try to talk to me at the wrong time. That only matters because she was my bartender like 25 years ago, and some relationships are forever sacred. But real time wise? Less than two hours. But women can shove a lot of BS into 10 minutes, two hours could be an eternity.

Eve, Oceanjewel and Kayla, thank you ladies, also, for your support. It's nice to feel less alone walking into these kinds of situations. I'm a positive person and can shake off most anything but some of this crap just stirs up the older crap.

On a lighter note, getting dressed up for his event was a requirement for my son. I brought a dress shirt and stiff, dark, new jeans and newer shoes for him in case the ex failed to dress him up. Good thing I did because my son decided that he would dress up by wearing his tuxedo t-shirt, which says "classy tattoos for classy people" on the back. This was a graded event, like a final exam, and dressing up was required. I get that it's funny, but really? It would lower his grade by not fufilling basic requirements. 

Happy to hear everything went well today! :)

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, luna65 said:

Whew!  Okay then - I guess that's a good example of why I felt lucky I didn't/don't have local connections, too much drama for this momma!  Plus my kid's grown now so I don't have to worry about that kind of stuff, at least.  I was always on the outside of the moms' cabal.  Generally people exhaust me.

That's the thing, I don't believe it is possible to actively nurture and maintain more than 5 friendships at a time, so I generally stick to myself around the schoolyard and I never ever attend any school function where my kids aren't performing or directly benefiting from my being there. Teachers are different, I will go the extra mile for them, like teacher appreciation brunches, and all classes at my yoga studio are free for every teacher in my entire school district, whether I know them or not. Otherwise, around the schoolyard, I always wear large, obvious over the ear headphones so I'm not able to engage in chit chat. I have even had these headphones connected to nothing, the cord just going into my pocket. Not because I'm snotty, I just don't have the energy, I save my energy for my kids, my students, my man, and the friends I already know well, have history with, and care about. I don't want new friends. I check out the moms of the kids who invite my kids on playdates, and try to steer their social choices towards families I can trust and have similar values. (It's not hard here on the Oakland/Berkeley border.) I will socialize with them, but around kid-related stuff. One exception last year was a friend of my son's who's mom is a hypnotherapist and his dad is a magician. Not a kid's magician, a real life grown up professional magician, and I've gone to see some of his fancy events. He does cool slight of hand stuff, but also mind-reading magic, and he even had me come up on stage and somehow had me reading other peoples minds and getting the answers right. Both of his parents were traveling carnies and he grew up on the road, learning the trade, he just knows his shit and I'm sure his wife has used her hypnotherapy skills to boost the shows a bit. Them I like, everyone else gets the headphones. And once someone pulls some dumb adolescent bullshit with me like that mom did, to me or god-forbid to someone I love, they're just dead to me, more or less forever.

 

Another exception is the family of a little boy who had the guts to ask my ex if he could marry my daughter when he was just 6 years old. My ex looked him up and down in a very dramatic mean-mugging fashion, and said "Alright, dude," and shook his hand. My daughter and this kid found each other on their own, but it turns out I knew his dad also from the late 90's, and I didn't know his mom at the time but I was one of the two witnesses who signed their marriage certificate. She is still pissed at me for that, but I didn't know her at the time and I was just stoked someone would marry my jackass friend. She didn't ask, "Hey, will I need to drop his dumb ass off at rehab every two years?" and I didn't think to volunteer the information. I've seen him on and off but don't think I really could've picked her out of a line-up until after our kids were "engaged." Three years later, she and I are good friends and I got to drive him to the one rehab left in Northern CA that would still take him a year or so ago.

 

The woman whom I have bad blood with being my son's teacher, that was a huge shock for me. I was planning on spending the rest of my life with her peacefully absent, but the universe has a perverse sense of humor. I didn't even know until a few days before school started, when the staff stood up and identified themselves. It's her first year teaching, and my son has her for TWO classes, and of course she's the most demanding in their grade. But I've been determined to not let our past color our interactions, I even shook her hand on the first open house event, smiled, and said "nice to meet you" with a big smile on my way out of her classroom, letting her know we were starting a new and strictly professional relationship from scrap. In actuality, we met back in 1996 or 1997.

 

3 hours ago, skydancer said:

 

i will share something my grt-grt-grandmother taught me when i was a wee girl

it is to cocoon ones self in a violet light cocoon

and to just push away anything and anyone who is negatively in ones space with a great push of violet love ~ it has always worked for me in many situations

as i was going out the door into a difficult day she would call to me, "remember the violet love"

this held me safely much of my life ~ bless her 

 

~ this feels congruent with lfn and lei's femme fatale both of which feel violet to me

and made me think of this violet love

~ with the dynamics of your environment ~ this may come in handy now n then

 

if anyone can carry this day successfully ~ it is you !

 

This is so lovely and thank you for sharing a bit of your GrGrGrandmother with me! That is so kind. And it couldn't have possibly been delivered to me late, it's never too late for love or kindness or violet light or GGGrandma Magic!

Edited by Eastwood22

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49 minutes ago, Eastwood22 said:

This is so lovely and thank you for sharing a bit of your GrGrGrandmother with me! That is so kind. And it couldn't have possibly been delivered to me late, it's never too late for love or kindness or violet light or GGGrandma Magic!

Edited 24 minutes ago by Eastwood22

thank you for so graciously receiving my loving kindness violet light gggrandma magic gifts ~ i am very happy i shared these!  and thank you for reminding me of of the fluidity of violet time magicks! 

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Good to hear everything worked out!

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I’m so happy that things went well Eastwood! What a bunch of bitches.

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I'm late to the party, but wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, and glad it went well.  ( the tuxedo t-shirt hahahah) 

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On 6/8/2018 at 7:49 PM, oceanjewel said:

Good to hear everything worked out!

 

2 hours ago, halo0073 said:

I’m so happy that things went well Eastwood! What a bunch of bitches.

 

2 hours ago, Eve said:

I'm late to the party, but wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, and glad it went well.  ( the tuxedo t-shirt hahahah) 

Thanks ladies! It's nice to have back-up. And yeah, the tuxedo t-shirt. Great for any day other then when he'll be partially graded on his ability to follow directions and look like a gentleman. The school is very forward thinking, their goal is turning out the thoughtful and capable men we need for the immediate future, and they have occasional challenges like 24 hrs screen free and/or dressing like a professional, grown man. They don't outline how a grown man should dress, and if a student showed up for a presentation in high heels and a woman's suit and bright red lips, that would be fine, (there is one TG man on staff), but I'm fairly certain no man ever showed up for a job in a tuxedo shirt and nailed the interview.

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