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luna65

Archive: Shut Up and Get A Job

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Wear this respectable clean green unisex potion when interviewing with prospective employers and they can't help but view your confidence and competence as attributes they must possess in the form of you! Sacred herbs of High John, mullein and chamomile blended with lots of the show-me-the-money green of olive, vetiver and moss, fortified by cedar, balsam and oak with a pinch of clove. And to deliver the message loud and clear, we've added a dose of our exclusive SWIMMING WITH SHARKS pheromone blend, a "corporate" blend for both sexes. Designed to level the playing field, it lends an air of respect, appeases and calms people who may bristle against those in authority, and helps people to really listen to what you have to say.

 

It's a tough world out there, no doubt. But that's no excuse to sit around like a sad sack, pissing and moaning about how you can't get a break. You need to seize the day and get your ass moving! Here's how you do it, so pay attention!

 

Take a bath, you patchouli-soaked hippy, and put some decent clothes on. NO! Don't use that crap cologne from the .99 cent store - wear this instead, SPARINGLY. If they can smell you across the room, you're wearing too much. Look, we even threw in some pheromones to give you an edge. Now you have no excuse not to get a job, you lazy bugger. And be NICE to people! No amount of potions and pheromones are going to help if you persist in being a wanker. And here's a tip, don't wear flip flops to your interview.

 

Now get the hell off the couch and go pound some pavement!

 

Wait, what are you doing? You can't afford to spend $30 on a bottle of mystical mumbo jumbo until you find out of it works for you. Buy a sample first, nimrod, it's only five bucks. Didn't your mother teach you anything? Sheesh! 

 

Created by: Mara Fox

Description: Mara & Julie

Label art: inspired by WWII-era British morale poster

Spell Collection 2013

 

The motto of LPMP is "Add a little MAGIC to your life!" and we sincerely endeavor to do just that by offering a wide variety of fragrances which enhance the wearer by means of scent and intent. With our Spell Collection 2013 we have created an arsenal of beautiful-smelling metaphysical tools for all the ways in which our credo can be enacted. And we pay tribute to that most essential of magickal components - the familiar – by featuring the beloved animal companions of some of our customers/friends/forum members depicted on the labels for this set of scents. So please enjoy the Spell Collection as fragrances, and utilize them in ritual work with a pure heart and a focused mind…because the true magic is, ever and always, in YOU!

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