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Thanks for all your words Stacy.

 

I was so hot, I didn't tell the kids I was disappointed with their dishonesty. I really just needed to stress that they weren't in trouble, I needed them to understand that I was angry at him, not them, and that they are not now and never will be responsible for my feelings.

 

As far as him smelling it on me, no, he hasn't yet. This all happened on weds, via phone. That's why i say it was all self-effects. I can't go to war with him, it wouldn't be in their best interest in any way, and I really cannot have a discussion with him until I can be calm. He's good to his kids, he's just socially and emotionally stunted. I have to keep in mind that the reason he lies is that he's a coward and he finds me terrifying. But I will see him on weds, I'll give Dom another try and try to stick to 30 words or less. I did remove the key to my house from his keychain on Sat am, and he hasn't said a word. I had to ask him to drive my son's lunch to him at his school and I knew he was going to pass right by here, so I text him the situation and left it on the porch. I wasn't here when he retrieved it.

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"I needed them to understand that I was angry at him, not them, and that they are not now and never will be responsible for my feelings." Exactly. But, of course it really wasn't your "feelings" ex was trying to protect. It was his cowardly ass. In my experience it can only be one of 2 things a man would go to this dramatic trouble for. IMO. Ine of them he may want to look like it's all for you. But it's really for him. Because, worse for his ego than you actually getting upset, is if you didn't care at all.

 

No, don't go to war. But, scaring the shit out of him. Letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that you will not yield or tolerate any type of unhealthy/manipulative actions involving your children. Regardless of whatever excuse he comes up with for it. The end.

 

There's no trust with a liar so why would he have a key. He doesnt need a key and its better for him to remove the temptation.

 

Yes. A cooling period is good. Wear Dom or Leather, its really just a good in that type of situation the next time. He'll get the idea with you having to go any trouble at all.

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"I needed them to understand that I was angry at him, not them, and that they are not now and never will be responsible for my feelings." Exactly. But, of course it really wasn't your "feelings" ex was trying to protect. It was his cowardly ass. In my experience it can only be one of 2 things a man would go to this dramatic trouble for. IMO. Ine of them he may want to look like it's all for you. But it's really for him. Because, worse for his ego than you actually getting upset, is if you didn't care at all.

 

No, don't go to war. But, scaring the shit out of him. Letting him know, in no uncertain terms, that you will not yield or tolerate any type of unhealthy/manipulative actions involving your children. Regardless of whatever excuse he comes up with for it. The end.

 

There's no trust with a liar so why would he have a key. He doesnt need a key and its better for him to remove the temptation.

 

Yes. A cooling period is good. Wear Dom or Leather, its really just a good in that type of situation the next time. He'll get the idea with you having to go any trouble at all.

 

See, that's the thing, I really want to develop the persona that doesn't care at all. He feeds on my reactions. There's a tacitic called "going grey rock" that I really would like to get to with him. It's where you become so uninteresting that the narcissist/borderline personaility type person wanders off to go trouble someone else since they get no reaction or entertainment from their former victims. It's an alternative to going "No Contact."

 

Later that night, my son asked if he and his sister could stay with me instead of going to their dad's, since I had been out of town for 10 days. I normally would never mess with the schedule, but i told the kids if they wanted to Face Time him and ask him themselves, they could. So I think he got the message loud and clear that my kids value their relationship with me, and that the three of us needed a moment to recover from his little head trip.

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I love Dom. You need to make sure you wear Dom or Leather if you think its a better match, the next time he dares to be in your presence. You won't need any words at all. That, for me, is the beauty of it right there. I can be a chatty Cathy and ramble to much when riled up. I love that Leather or Dom take the need to say much out of the picture. Especially with people Id rather not talk to at all, like ex's.

 

I'm not sure what message he received, but I put it on my hands right before he met the kids and I at a game store. I was parked 3 blocks away, his car was right out front, so I asked for a ride to my car, and I told my daughter to sit in the front and I'd sit in the back. I intentionally handed her the things she had bought in the store, by passing them from behind his seat up to the front, about 4 inches from his face. Multiple times. Again, I don't know what he experienced, but I did my part. Haven't heard a peep from him since then, though.

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Im betting he got the message loud and clear. LMAO

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Im betting he got the message loud and clear. LMAO

 

I'm thinking maybe he did. The funny thing about us was, he was always basically asking me to tell him what to do, and then he'd flip and say, "Stop bossing me around!" Yesterday, when it came to what he was doing with the kids and where he was taking them and where he was dropping them off, he was more or less begging me to tell him what to do and I just refused. I kept telling him to do whatever he wanted and to just tell me where he was at X time and I'd come meet them. He couldn't handle it. He needed me to tell him what to do. This weekend was my son's birthday, other than picking up the cake, he made exactly zero decisions and deferred every plan and decision to me

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