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Indigo

What phero to make him talk to me??

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Luna someone would get not only a broken hand but also be kneed in the groin if they tried any funny stuff like groping. In Europe groping is also considered completely immoral. Groping wherever you are is wrong which is why I started my sports in the first place, to learn to defend myself and have the strength to do it with. Albeit a male friend of mine was groped on the tube in London by a woman passenger and he was ecstatic about it for weeks, telling anyone and everyone who would listen!

 

 

Tyvey you are very gutsy is all I can say.... You've got more bollocks than all the men I know put together!

 

I imagine that you must have caused quite the commotion. I was thinking it would be hilarious if I did just that: gave him 'The look' at the same time slowly licking my lips, obviously in front of his friends but then again his ego might explode and I'm not sure I want to do that unless I have to. I'd rather try some subtle techniques first....

 

JOC you must have had a great time: Switzerland is such a lovely relaxed place, Geneva is a beautiful city and Italy is gorgeous. Italian men are amongst the most outgoing with women of all the Europeans I'd say. Italian women are also very gregarious!

Edited by Indigo

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a male friend of mine was groped on the tube in London by a woman passenger and he was ecstatic about it for weeks, telling anyone and everyone who would listen!

and you prove my point again!! see, that ego-bomb is devastating to them (in a good way)... and believe me I am *not* that gutsy - it was only that one time - I'm the biggest coward you ever met.

Edited by tyvey

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Tyvey you are gutsy darling for just doing it that one time and the point is taken, thank you for the advice. I know you're right: men love to have their ego massaged and even better if its by a dark haired European stranger of a lady....I'm getting my balls out and packing them in my gym bag for next time LOL

Edited by Indigo

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I saw him again but was just simply too nervous to make any verbal contact.

On the other hand he is a personal trainer so I'm thinking maybe I should inquire about having a few lessons with him or maybe that is too contrived after all is said and done.....any thoughts?

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I personally wouldn't - might the gym (or he personally) have ethical prohibitions on any business of the kind you're interested in (ie, funny) between trainers & clients?

 

how bout giving him *just* a smile? just a half-smile? RAH, GO INDIGO... I keep coming to this thread for the progress reports... pressure, pressure :)

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I miss European men and their friendliness, it makes things so much easier! No 'ins' today to strike up conversation. Why do the men here make it so bloody difficult????????

 

As a European girl, I am used to open stares from men here in Greece. Italians are more flirtacious (when they see a girl they go like "ciao bella ragazza!!", and Spanish men can be way to direct sometimes when it comes to flirting. So I can totally understand how this cultural difference can cause frustration (especially when you are faced with a really cute personal trainer!!!). I am with Tyvey! Why don't you give him a smile??

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See, I am the type that would HAVE TO approach him.....smile, wink, see if that gets a reaction. If it doesn't I would just walk up and introduce myself. I have done that a ton of times......

 

 

There was a man one night when I was out.....I had seen him around, but did not know him. I knew (from talking to one of his friends) that he was single....and as his friend put it, that he had a "thing" for me. I know that every time I saw him, he couldn't take his eyes off me, but yet, even though I had smiled and tried to be very inviting, he would not break the ice. So, one evening, every time I looked his way, he was blatantly staring at me.....I finally walked over to where he was sitting, and planted a big kiss on him, right on the lips (hey, my friend dared me to.....and I never pass up a good dare). He was so shocked.....I then pulled a business card out of my wallet and said....."Call me". And then turned around and walked off. It was hilarious! He almost fell out of his chair! He and his friends left shortly thereafter, but I got a couple of texts that evening, an email was waiting for me when I got home, AND he did call the very next morning. We went out a few times.....very nice guy, actually.....just a bit too introverted for my tastes......

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See now that takes guts Dolly! I admire that, but I'm not going to embarrass myself in front of all the people in the gym by doing something too blatant, you have to see those people weekly. In fact I'm completely at a loss and thinking I need to give up, ignore the hell out of pup and focus my energies on something more productive in life.

The men here are just simply not friendly at all, even the other trainers don't say hello or smile unless you throw them out a huge hello and massive smile. I'm thinking I'm not made for Canada, I miss Europe too much! I'm swimming in unknown waters here. I asked another trainer for a piece of equipment and tried to initiate conversation, he gave me the piece on equipment and then just left. I'm wondering are men overly afraid of sexual harassment suits here? Something is definitely going on.

The reason I was thinking of getting personal training is because in fact I rarely see the trainers talk to any females in the gym unless they are training them.

 

The problem is, also, I ruined things single-handedly. I was the one acting cool in the beginning when he was following me around like a puppy but since I did not respond now he is completely ignoring me. I don't even know where I stand anymore.

 

I'll be exercising and he'll come and exercise right next to me, even maybe briefly check out my reflection in the mirror but then to my face completely ignore me as if I was not there so when am I even going to 'get a smile in' if he won't even look in my general direction?

He'll only look when I'm busy with an exercise and so I can't really respond in any way.

 

I've been trying to be more friendly with the other trainers with whom he is friends but even they are not very responsive, they are a pretty unfriendly bunch, always trying to give off the tuff vibe- the gym vibe in this sports club is not great, compared to the ones I've been to before, in Europe, the trainers were falling all over themselves to help the women in the club even if they were not personally training them.

 

I'm wondering what the hell is going on as I am far from ugly and I exercise a lot so its not as if I'm an eyesore in tight gym clothes. So desperate am I that I even had a guy friend from back home check out my outfit on skype and he thought it was definitely worth drooling over.

 

I don't know where I am going wrong. I thought I knew how to play the game, but that was in Europe, here in Canada I just end up feel like an idiot!!!!!

 

I am definitely going to wear open windows next time until my popularity potion arrives. And Heart and Soul won't be here until Xmas. But I feel like I screwed myself over as I'm getting 100% cold shoulder now and don't know how to break this awful ice anymore. To be honest I also fear that if I say something and he he is super unfriendly to me, it will be hard to go to the gym each week as I would have to see him time and time again. Ahhh yes the fear of the big R, rejection!

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OH, I wasn't suggesting that you do something that blatant in the gym....lol....that was in a totally different setting entirely! In your situation though, I probably WOULD go up and say hello and introduce myself at the very least. Or compliment him on his form or something....anything to get the conversation started.

 

 

You know, it may partly be the fear of sexual harassment claims.....another could be that the copulin blends are making him WAY TOO uncomfortable since it is a public setting. I would totally lay off the cops for a while around him.....sexology is not so much a potion for daily wear.....definitely go with Open Windows.....it gives off a friendly, non-alpha, NON-SEXUAL vibe.

Edited by Dolly

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Thanks Dolly, for your great advice. No more gym for me this week, tired out but when I next have the opportunity I'll do as you suggest. Next week's early week session may be hard as he trains with a whole group of 5 men and I don't think I have the nerve to break into that testosterone nation! but when I next see him alone...

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Indigo, I hate to open my big fat mouth, but I wouldnt do anything that would make you uncomfortable in going back to the gym.. I had a similiar situation where I had a huge interest in a trainer we flirted, he seemed VERY interested, I tried SO HARD to get him to approach me then one day I just smiled at him in the gym cafe. That was the end of it... There where whispers all over the gym, people staring, then on top of it I saw him hit on another girl in front of me (she was kind of ugly too) who needed help with her form. To make a long story short it was not a phero combination, a smile or my HOTTNESS that worked... in fact it seemed all this was my detriment.

 

The thing that worked with this trainer was damsel needing help with her form,.

 

It sounds like you are a real beauty if you had all these other men hit on you in europe. European men do not like ugly women.

 

I dont know about canadian men, but my experience is many american men are terrified of hott women but love to help a woman in need, so the damsel in distress may work, but if it does, you have to ask yourself do you really want to play this role to get his attention? is it worth it? is he not accepting of you just being you without distress?

 

Thank GOD my hubby is european.

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is he not accepting of you just being you without distress?

wow, beautifully put KrazyKat :) love it! Especially in Indigo's case since it sounds like, if anything, she probably knows MORE than the trainer does!

Edited by tyvey

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Kat is very wise. My husband actualy has a personal trainers license. Although he doesn't train people anymore, because he feels like it's taking away from his training time :) Anyway the gym is a gossip filled place. Maybe you should look elsewhere for romance sweety.

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anything I can do to prevent the embarrasment of what I went thru. No man is worth your dignity, keep your reputation in tact. Beccahs advice is right on, watch out you are not the subject of gossip which you very well may be if this guy is immature and cant handle your hottness.

Edited by KrazyKat

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Thanks ladies.

On the other hand there is no law against taking a brief personal training course and getting a feel for the lay of the land...

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Thanks ladies.

On the other hand there is no law against taking a brief personal training course and getting a feel for the lay of the land...

 

 

LOL.....that's what I say! Again, start over, but with NO COPS this time....see what happens.....if it becomes more intimate and personal, THEN go to the more sexual blends. Cops really do strange things to some men!

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JOC you must have had a great time: Switzerland is such a lovely relaxed place, Geneva is a beautiful city and Italy is gorgeous. Italian men are amongst the most outgoing with women of all the Europeans I'd say. Italian women are also very gregarious!

 

I had a fantastic time. Besides the major cities, I travelled to some smaller cities where language barrier was an issue. I love the cafes even though I don't drink coffee.

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JOC that sounds amazing.....I do miss our little cafés, no need to drink coffee to enjoy, wine, water or tea whatever your choice, cafés are mostly places to have a good chat and watch the world go by...

 

anyway as for pup it seems like he'll never have the chance (and neither will I) as I'm off the market again, I keep on making and breaking up with my boyfriend -its complicated and lets hope it lasts as we're due for another round until I go back to Europe next year.... so the saga of the puppy boy ends but it was a good distraction while the going was rough and I needed some dreamworthy eye candy...

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I keep on making and breaking up with my boyfriend -its complicated and lets hope it lasts as we're due for another round until I go back to Europe next year....

 

I'm sorry that things are not going well with your boyfriend. I believe you moved to Canada because of him, no? But then again, it's better to know now then 3 or 5 years down the road.

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JOC that sounds amazing.....I do miss our little cafés, no need to drink coffee to enjoy, wine, water or tea whatever your choice, cafés are mostly places to have a good chat and watch the world go by...

 

anyway as for pup it seems like he'll never have the chance (and neither will I) as I'm off the market again, I keep on making and breaking up with my boyfriend -its complicated and lets hope it lasts as we're due for another round until I go back to Europe next year.... so the saga of the puppy boy ends but it was a good distraction while the going was rough and I needed some dreamworthy eye candy...

 

 

Oh jeez Indigo, don't be somebody elses option, when they're you're #1 choice! Seriously, men will keep you on the back burner as long as you let them. I don't know you're particular situation, so this is a general opinion, but as an outsider it sounds bad.

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Oh jeez Indigo, don't be somebody elses option, when they're you're #1 choice! Seriously, men will keep you on the back burner as long as you let them. I don't know you're particular situation, so this is a general opinion, but as an outsider it sounds bad.

 

 

So true, hon!! You deserve to be someone's #1!!

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Thanks ladies.... anyway I have until February, when I return to Europe as my visa expires, to decide what to do...but in retrospect a crush is a good distraction but not a solution and perhaps a smoke screen to finding a solution in my actual situation...

 

The support is appreciated :666:

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Things happen for a reason and that's why life is a like a present, you don't know what's inside till you unwrap it ....

 

:OUDFDC~110:

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