Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Date tues was cancelled by me as too much of a mess. Date today with someone else, was smothered in allumette. It went ok, plus he's already asked if i want to see him again and has text me non stop. This is the short no real internet version but I'm having forum interaction withdrawal so just trying to stay in the game at least a little but typing is tedious this way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Glad to hear your date today went well.. We miss you too! Good luck with this guy! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, so that's like three dates in a few weeks, even if two of them didn't go ahead?? Where are you meeting all these guys??

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't wait till your internet's fixed so we can hear all about it! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe I need to give this online dating thing a go. I'm just too scared of meeting creeps and ending up with a stalker...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You may find more that you never hear from people again more than attract hangers-on*. My tips would be, don't invest much time in people, just ask to meet pretty much straight off, meet and don't invest emotionally until there's been a fair few dates etc. Daytime coffee dates are great as you don't risk them getting too/drunk, they are short generally and you at least get some idea of what people are like, plus it's accepted that you won't be sitting all day drinking coffee, so you can run if it's bad without seeming odd.

I have little free time and am tied by my kids but if you are not you can fake a super busy schedule.

 

 

If someone doesn't want to meet after establishing at least something in common or a mutual attraction, ditch them and move on, these guys will mess you about. I just had to tell some guy who wanted to chat via text all day every day, sorry but my current dating strategy is just to meet as many people as I can right away, I just don't have time to spend endlessly conversing with every guy all day, I want to meet people, so hit me back if you want to meet.

 

I'm certainly not gonna be spending all day counselling you and hearing about your ex, thanks. If you were a friend, sure I'd entertain a bit of that but in this case, no. Took me a while to get here but I am getting dating savvy now :D

 

Oh and downbeat guys, sheesh. Don't tell me I don't want to meet you...why? Because it makes me not want to meet you!

 

*zero offense intended-this is not due to any personal fault of course, just there's a lot of useless people out there who play at wanting to meet or just like the idea of you being interested or something. Dicks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Toooooootally forgot. Yes my Friday date was interesting. Thought he looked better in his photos but hey, he was still nice looking, he was polite, no awkward silences, hugged me hi, and hugged me goodbye plus cheek kiss. He said in a later text (after I said something about perfume-hey most of my conversation is about perfume, just kidding :P) he could smell me on him when he was on the bus. I apologised, said maybe I had put a little too much perfume on (had really poured on most of my remaining Allumette) but he said...didn't say it was a bad thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Awww, that is super sweet! he sounds cool

 

Thanks for all the dating tips. I'm enjoying my single-dom right now, but eventually I'll dip my toe back in there and try out some dating sites. :wink2:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey well if you're happy there's no need to rush :) I love my own company, I just need to not feel like I could be 85. Plus I don't want to end up a shut in!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ooh, I just saw this! I'm glad you had fun on your date! Will you see this dude again?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ooh, I just saw this! I'm glad you had fun on your date! Will you see this dude again?

 

:yeahthat: ...I missed this too! Luved the "didn't say it was a bad thing" :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for the tips! I should really get out there and give other guys a try. Sitting around being hung up on one guy is never going to help me. I just keep thinking I'm too busy or something (which is probably true, but some things are worth making the time for...)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:yeahthat: ...I missed this too! Luved the "didn't say it was a bad thing" :P

 

Clearly something was bad though since he blaaaaaaanked me since the other day. Another douche. Watch me do Jewish grandmother gazing to heavens and asking why type thing..whhhhhy do you send me so many of the same kind of dickhead? Common sense is telling me either it's my fault and I go for this type of guy somehow, or else somehow every guy on a dating site is like this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Clearly something was bad though since he blaaaaaaanked me since the other day. Another douche. Watch me do Jewish grandmother gazing to heavens and asking why type thing..whhhhhy do you send me so many of the same kind of dickhead? Common sense is telling me either it's my fault and I go for this type of guy somehow, or else somehow every guy on a dating site is like this.

 

Hmm... comments like this make me think maybe I should rethink the dating site thing... better off just meeting people in real life!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

or else somehow every guy on a dating site is like this.

I never had any good experiences with dating sites. Some guys were boring, some seemed to be very needy and clinging (which repulsed me), some showed strange attitudes while the few nices ones seemed to be just collecting dates so to say and disappeared thereafter. So I gave up with that. On the other hand, I know some people who found a nice partner through a dating line. People are different and their expectations are different. One important thing is: Let your date know that you enjoy his company but don't come across as needy. Hope you'll get a better date, soon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Can't really offer any advice here...I am happy with my arrangement as it is,well,parts of me would be much happier if we could get together more often :lol: ...While I like to play, don't know what I would do being back in the dating scene,sounds terribly frustrating! :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It can be. I go back to it for a while then give up, which is maybe not productive but there's so many dicks out there it's hard to stay upbeat! I think I really need to follow the four man plan to the letter, and stop letting one guy monopolise my attention so much.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The idea was that I feel good enough to actually *go* on the date, otherwise, being very tired etc, I'll feel revolting and flat, and won't want to go, Bang! seems to be like me on a *great* day.

 

The Four Man Plan:http://www.thefourmanplan.com/

 

I don't have four men, no. I have one I have been on one date with (who looks about twelve) and another who wishes to, but am also not really that into and not living in the same city has made arrangements harder, but that's it. The idea is that anyone keen enough to go on date number two with you, gets a second date, the exception being fear for personal safety or just a feeling of really squicked-out-ness, as sometimes people don't come off well on date one, but grow on you.

 

Dating in the UK is not like in the USA, seems much harder here, as people tend to just meet randomly and decide whether or not to be a couple from there, multiple dating doesn't seem to happen really. It's been impossible for me to fill a dating square like in the book. I think the principles are sound though...no letting your pants be the brain etc.

 

I will have had a teeny dab of EP on for our first date just coincidentally from testing but was slathered in Far Far Away, which got me on the date but, I wasn't exactly sparkling.

 

hi, i am based in the U.K. too, I agree with you ... dating in the UK seems very tough... men are very 'shy' and not making moves easily...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They mostly seem to be cheating jerks or looking for some online kind of ego boost in my experience :( Where in the UK are you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

haha, I am not sure about cheating jerks... most of men I met are ok... but again I am quite careful with not getting attached or intimated too fast. I am based in Scotland, men here are very very shy and they only come to speak to you after they have one or two drinks... But I tend to go out with international guys, as I am not British myself.

 

Where are you based? How long have you been wearing pheroes ?? I started wearing them since Dec last year... so far I have some good results ... :bday1029:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi, i am based in the U.K. too, I agree with you ... dating in the UK seems very tough... men are very 'shy' and not making moves easily...

 

Oh, it's not just the UK... they are the same here in Australia... mostly I find I am the one doing the asking out, and I am pretty sure I'm not hideous or anything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i'm in the north west. I never meet men other than online, hence higher ratio of jerks maybe. I think i'm just unapproachable in public. Not sure on the phero usage, two years ish.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have much experience with online dating, but I get the impression that there's a large population of introverts in the online dating world. Probably why people get "boring" guys.

 

Anywho, I've heard that the sites you pay for yield the best results vs. free sites, where most guys are just looking to boink.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

shameless thread bump on my part bc a) I was looking for more reviews/ exp on BANG and B) wow - never heard of 4 man plan. I def think one of my issues is not playing field, and guys can sense if you are focused on them. That said, I haven't had opp to read all @ 4 man plan, but wanted to bump as it's def interesting.

 

I feel like I often get caught in some 'web' where a guy thinks I'm dating others and is suspicious, so I try to alleviate that, but ultimately it ends up in a wash bc they pull back. I also am very picky about who I want to spend "personal time" with, but that's just how I'm wired. I'm actually jealous of those who can date intimately more than 1 person at a time. No judgement here at all on what others do or don't do.

 

For me part of the attraction is if I think there is connection, otherwise I'm not 'feeling it' and pull back on many levels. I don't blame myself, just know my wiring but also know my wiring seems to work against me - a la - they are head over heels feeling for a bit then pull way the heck back. I'm somewhat empathic so I can FEEL that energy from them, and their feelings so I know it's not in my head.

 

Since divorce this has happened 2x with 2 difft guys, and not been pleasant from my perspective. In both cases, extreme attention and semi jealousy first few months - until they felt they 'had' me. And then the d-bag routine began.

 

Dating should be fun. But so far it's been PITA - many promises and things that never happened - WTH. Makes me feel like I'm doing things all wrong bc they are really intense and they say they want real relationship with me, but follow thru has been inconsistent at best. Maybe I'm sending signals that they don't have to do a lot to keep me so therefore, don't continue those efforts. I'm rambling a bit but nice to have a place to express these things. I also don't *want* to be a bitch, bc then I feel guilty, so again WTH?

 

Hoping between pheros and other self improvement plans (like having more of IDGF attitude and feeling more comfortable/ happy with myself) will help me feel better about things. Great thread!!

 

I'm still experimenting with BANG and love how it makes me feel. I don't want to be closed off like I've been feeling since what I call my last 2 'non relationships' since they started strong but did not really manifest, IMO to what I felt, almost on cellular level what they should have been. And in both cases, they pursued and they mentioned relationships with me but when it came down to it, I obviously wasn't a priority.

 

Apologies for thread hi-jack.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Beach Goddess,

 

I always enjoy reading your posts. You strike me as a positive, self-aware sort of woman, always trying to improve yourself. I have no advice. I haven't had to go on a date in over a decade. I would be very lost. But yes, I recall how my moods would go up and down depending on how the date went, whether he called, etc etc. It's a roller coaster. Hang in there, and good luck with trying out new approaches. I will continue to read your posts and share with you from afar .

 

:emot129:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He said in a later text (after I said something about perfume-hey most of my conversation is about perfume, just kidding :P) he could smell me on him when he was on the bus. I apologised, said maybe I had put a little too much perfume on (had really poured on most of my remaining Allumette) but he said...didn't say it was a bad thing.

Beach goddess I'm glad you bumped this thread. I started reading it and so what cinnamonmel said above. This brought back nice memories...

A guy had told me this once, I was LP Red and OCCO Red, and we went on a date. He said he couldn't stop smelling my perfume on his clothes and it felt so great. He said it felt like I was there with him for the rest of the day and even the next day...

 

...if the Universe is listening... I really miss this man...

 

I'm waiting for a bottle of Bang! I have SS4W but I haven't seen any hits with it. I hope Bang! will for better for me :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Beach goddess, I'm pretty tired so I'll keep this short: the idea behind the four man plan is definitely not to date intimately, that's why you have more than one man. The idea is you don't get intimate until you've narrowed them down. I'd recommend getting the book, it's easier to follow. I'd also recommend Men who can't love: the Commitmentphobic man. It taught me a huge amount.

 

After all my reading, I met my bf and we're settled together and have a baby. We've been together for two years now. Take hold lightly of any dates is my advice. If it's meant to happen, it will.

 

Eta: the guy I mentioned above-I NEVER saw again. I've said before that perfect match is the perfect date scent as it scares to death the commitmentphobes. Then you never see hide nor hair of them again, this saving yourself long and protracted agony of finding out later on. I think the danger of wearing anything with a more sexy vibe is that you get guys who just see you as a good time girl and want to dick you around.

Edited by cinnamonmel

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BG & Cinn I've had a shitty day and these posts actually gave me a smile.

 

BG, I have to say I agree with Cinn, I've heard repeatedly about the 3 man plan, 3, 4, 5 same difference. As I understand it the idea being to keep open to meeting men, not getting hung up on just one. Of course in each version of this the theme remains the same, you don't sleep with them. You're just dating, getting to know individuals ie.. keeping those options open. Haven't men done that for years? For some women who may not have felt they had options before it's very exciting. But the idea is your just getting to know people.

I agree, I like PM or H & S as a good get to know you social. Gotcha can work well to but sometimes I find it a bit much with new people.

But, you have to go with what works for you.

I don't get much from SS4W either but Bang does yeild hits. It's sort of like SS4W with CB.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BG, I'm glad you bumped this thread. I almost feel like I need to reread this entire forum with single eyes, lol. I've noticed that weird push/pull thing from men. Like they're interested until I give them a shot...effing weird. The more I pull I way though.....~sigh.~ (To the tune of Let It Go) being-single-never-bothered-me-anywaaaaaaay!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BG, I'm glad you bumped this thread. I almost feel like I need to reread this entire forum with single eyes, lol. I've noticed that weird push/pull thing from men. Like they're interested until I give them a shot...effing weird. The more I pull I way though.....~sigh.~ (To the tune of Let It Go) being-single-never-bothered-me-anywaaaaaaay!

Going off topic here, but have you maybe read Sherry Argov's "Why Men Love Bitches"? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm waiting for a bottle of Bang! I have SS4W but I haven't seen any hits with it. I hope Bang! will for better for me :)

 

 

I don't get much from SS4W either but Bang does yeild hits. It's sort of like SS4W with CB.

 

 

I'll leave the dating debates for more informed and experienced people. I would wither and die in an adult dating world -- how do you even keep track of all those dudes?

 

 

:offtopic:

I'm just popping in to say that I thought SS4W simply did not work on me but I found that different scents with it work while others don't. I am baffled as there is not difference in the pheros between say MRF and Sneaky Clean but one works for me while the other just does not at all. Stacy, I know you've been an LPer for a while so you've probably tried SS4W in more perfumes than I have even seen released, but ephoebe, I know you're newer around here. If you want to try and get SS4W to work for you then you might consider having a go with various phero'd perfume samples that contain it before you give up completely. I hope BANG! does it for you, though! I'm looking forward to trying it for the first time when my order comes and I'm hoping it won't be as scent-dependent as SS4W has been.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Going off topic here, but have you maybe read Sherry Argov's "Why Men Love Bitches"? ;)

Yes. That book is hysterical! There is some good common sense stuff for modern women.. and I like the fact that it flies in the face of the majority "how women should act books" out there.

Anyone who was pissed off reading that "Rules" bullshit might find it amusing. I particularly liked her recipe section. :lol:

 

Just remember some men don't love bitches though. They like the follow me around, kiss my ass type. To each his own.

Edited by StacyK

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Going off topic here, but have you maybe read Sherry Argov's "Why Men Love Bitches"? ;)

Hitting up Amazon as I type this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I loved that Bitch book!! I regret giving it away I would love to reread it. I remember it made a positive impact on me at the time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone who was pissed off reading that "Rules" bullshit might find it amusing. I particularly liked her recipe section. :lol:

 

 

 

Aaaand now I'm interested! :001_302:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I loved that Bitch book!! I regret giving it away I would love to reread it. I remember it made a positive impact on me at the time.

Me too! I really loved it! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

BG, I'm glad you bumped this thread. I almost feel like I need to reread this entire forum with single eyes, lol. I've noticed that weird push/pull thing from men. Like they're interested until I give them a shot...effing weird. The more I pull I way though.....~sigh.~ (To the tune of Let It Go) being-single-never-bothered-me-anywaaaaaaay!

All this gets explained in the commitmentphobic man book. It's classic. These are the guys I learned to sidestep before we even went on a date some of the time. It's so worth reading.

 

 

Donsie - there's been at least two versions of mrf to my knowledge, I think one was sexology. Are you sure your mrf has super sexy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...