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I Want To Haunt His Dreams...


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Hello Smart Ladies and Wise Gents; it's been wonderful lurking here the past few days, trying to read up on everything. I found you through a quirk of fate from another phero site, so it must be kismet. You ALL are wonderful writers and I'm so a word lover!

 

Here's the deal; six weeks ago I met an amazing man; within days of this first introduction, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel like I was hit by lightning and found the gold at the end of the rainbow all in the same few hours...

 

He's 63 and very huggy, communicative and open; incredibly caring to the point where I at first thought it was an act; I've learned since that it's anything but, this guy is the real deal and unlike anyone I've ever known before. After a long marriage to a relatively emotionally distant, unaware man, this is a true shock. I'm 59, been single now for 10 years and long ago thought my dating days were over. My stress levels are at an all-time high (natch!!) and we live a bit of a ways apart; about an hours' drive. So meetings are lengthy but infrequent so far. He calls every day, emails at least once and sometimes a half dozen times and we've had equally amazing conversations both emailing, on the phone and in person.

 

So, the problem (is there one?) is he 'wants to go slow'. His last relationship started immediately, and 'stopped even quicker'; apparently she just moved out and took all her stuff and a lot of his stuff with him when she left. He's been burned in other words. He said it never was a good match after the first sex high wore off, but you know how things are when you really want to try to make something work after the inertia has set in.

 

I have very little money to spend so this is going to have to be based on a sample kit (it's all going to cancer-fighting supplements and green smoothies; who knew kale was so expensive? I may opt to treat this with a lumpectomy, already done; and pass on the burn and poison recommendations; the pathology report was reassuring and I have time to fight this naturally...).

 

I know he likes vanilla (and chocolate-peppermint bark!?) but other than that don't know what smells or pheros he might react to. I love vanilla myself, sandalwood, oak moss, and some of the resinous smells but they might be too heavy for a little blonde like me... I'm sure given both our ages, our natural phero supply is very low, almost nonexistent - it's hard to knock someone over now with that instantaneous 'Tony and Maria across the Dancefloor' kaboom, in other words.

 

What say you, Oh Wise Ones?

 

It's not so much that I want to nail him to the wall (although the idea has occurred :blushing: ) as much as I want to get over the hump of 'watch out or I'll get burned again' and have a full relationship rather than a guarded but incredibly cuddly and intensely emotionally charged one, for good and bad as it stands right now...

 

I'm leaning toward Sneaky Clean with SS if it's available, Perfect Match , BAM; perhaps Sexology or would that be too much? I'm still unclear on which mixes are still available, perhaps that's made clearer at order?

 

Thank you all so much...

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Sneaky clean is brilliant, his love of chocolate peppermint might mean Luv Truffle is a good one, no pheros, but my bf loves it.

 

I wish you the best of luck, and think a slow start is a positive sign. Commitmentphobics often move way too fast, just go at the pace that makes you happy. Bam is brilliant! Have fun!

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Those are all fabulous choices! Candy Cane Cookies smells like peppermint hot chocolate to me, so that might do the trick. OCCO White is a good vanilla cops-loaded scent. Perfect Match and BAM! are great pheros for your situation. I don't know that they will speed things along faster than he's ready to go, but they will definitely help deepen your connection.And then later, you can add a little cops with the Perfect Match.

 

Welcome, and good luck with both your guy and your health situation!

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Okay, here's what I got: Perfect Match, Gotcha Honey Love, Essential Mystique Water, BAM original and sandalwood, Goddess of the Blue Moon and Hunter and the Woodland Nymph, Candy Cane Cookies :) Some of these were second choices cuz SCSS wasn't available.

 

That pretty much uses up my budget for the rest of the year :-/

 

Wish me luck!

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He sounds great, best wishes for a speedy and complete healing.

 

You may also like Goddess of the Blue Moon. [edit - you ordered it!]

 

Sexology is a great phero blend, too, makes me feel wonderful.

Edited by perfumesniffer
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First,welcome here,2nd,much success on your journey with the beast,sounds like you have that in control :Hug_emoticon: ...since you said a sampler set,which is an excellent idea to start with! I would recommend definitely trying Unisexy with Perfect Match,and Honeyed Love Potion with Gotcha, and Titillating Temptress for cops,and /or OCCO SLF,I think that is available as a sample ...Sneaky Clean,is also available as a sample,or should be it is part of the permanent line...that leaves several more for you to choose from :) The caring and sharing forumites here will give you the best possible advice!! ...oh forgot Fetival of Lights,if it is available is a yummy mint cocoa on me

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Resin-y but light, not quite "delicate" but DEF not overwhelming, AND I always get compliments from SP when I wear it (he's NOT a resin scent lover), then...Remind Me Again, if you can get your little hands on a btl or sample of the original version (w/Soulmate), GET IT ! the rebrew is ALSO very nice and you could layer w/an unscented phero.

 

oops, Welcome and hoping everything works out all the way around Signalfire !

Edited by liz
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Thanks to everyone for the sweet welcome and advice :)

 

I already ordered what I listed up top there; I'm not clear on how to order a sample pack and Sneaky Clean doesn't seem to be available when I go to that? Am I looking in the wrong place?

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Welcome, Signalfire!

 

I am VERY new, and just ordered a sample pack last week. Sounds like you may have already put in your order, but here's what I did in case you wanted to follow:

 

I went to the Gift Shoppe Section, and clicked on 'sampler sets'. Then I scrolled all the way down to the option called 'phero enhanced fragrance sampler for women'. I opted to choose my own, and proceeded to list them out in the notes sections. Then I added to my cart, and paid via paypal from there. I ordered about a week ago, and I was able to get a sample of Sneaky Clean.

 

I wish you the best with everything, health-wise and man-wise!

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Welcome, welcome, welcome!! Sending you lots of good wishes for your health and your relationship... Everyone here is so helpful and has given great advice, but if I think of anything else, I'll pop back in! Can't wait to hear how you like your scents and pheros :)

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Welcome to the forum. And truly best wishes and a speedy recovery!

 

I am not sure what advice if any to give you on your male friend but I certainly wish you the best there also.

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Wow, thank you, everyone! And Quiet Guy, I don't mind telling you I'm quite in love with Telly Savalas now, after reading your very wise posts :)

 

Thank you also for the offer of the Sneaky Clean (gotta love that name!) MrsChrissyrez! I'll see what comes, I added it onto a 'sample' order.

 

I'll certainly keep you all posted on my progress both health-wise and man-wise. I feel like I've found a really good group here. I've always been a bit of a smell freak. That 'right to the memory nodes' that fragrance can do to you is so unlike any other sense. My first realization of what pheromones or fragrances can do was back in 1971; I was walking down the street downtown to catch a bus and caught an amazing whiff of old leather and dusty paper, like an old bookstore. I turned a 180 and hypnotically followed this nondescript looking man back into an ... old book store. Turns out he was there to sell an antique book that was, indeed, bound in old almost crumbling leather; it was a Book of Spells and Indian Magick from the late 1880s and I ended up buying it from him before the bookstore proprietor could get his hands on it, much to his chagrin. The bookseller and I ended up having a long and torrid friendship. And from my old hippie days, I have a cherished, now empty bottle of Oakmoss oil, which I still like to get out once in a while. Takes me right back to Woodstock! And beads! And granny dresses! And I have a bottle of the original formula 'Pheros' from 'Dr. Smell This!' of another forum; it smells like Cleopatra and I have no doubt that there is at least one here that surpasses it; your alchemists are of the most stellar quality, of that I have no doubt.

 

Please accept my heartfelt gratitude for your warm welcome and wishes!

 

signalfire

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Wow, thank you, everyone! And Quiet Guy, I don't mind telling you I'm quite in love with Telly Savalas now, after reading your very wise posts :)

 

And I have a bottle of the original formula 'Pheros' from 'Dr. Smell This!' of another forum; it smells like Cleopatra

 

Thank you! I have two bottles of Pheros myself - OMGosh - like liquid gold. I did not know women would like to wear it.

 

If you like that scent then look at the scents with the Baba Cat series (Tails of Mystery is close!) and Pashazde - they are all in the same scent neighborhood. But see if Mara has an un-phero'd Pashazade is you want to wear it yourself - it has very sexual male pheromone mix in it otherwise. Or you could get your guy friend to wear it and let nature take it's course lol.

 

I have been thinking long and hard about it - and I am sure but maybe you have thought about this approach - you are the one on the ground and can read the situation the best - but before I was married I once found myself in a situation remotely similar - if he knows your medical situation - maybe just say something like "Look - this can go in any direction - but whichever direction it goes I really want to enjoy life to its fullest with you". I know everyone is different but I said "Yes".

 

PS - West Side Story is one my 15 year old daughter's favorites.

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Thanks, everyone!

 

Cinnamonmel-Yes I still have the book. It's over 40 years older now! Still kinda crumbling and I'm not sure the 'spells' in it are of any use, but it's certainly a novelty and it's traveled with me all this time. I've lived in a lot of different states since then, given away and sold thousands of books, but this one is a keeper. Gold leaf on the page ends, gold stamping on the cover, a picture of 'Swami' somebody on the frontispiece, the whole bit :)

 

Quiet Guy, I can't really wear Pheros; I absolutely swoon at the smell of it; the pure resin/no chemicals smell of it is ancient, abiding; it's damn near reincarnational. But it's far too heavy to actually wear on me. I'm a five foot tall, very cuddly built blonde and this needs to be on a Nubian Egyptian Queen. 'Dr. Smell This' once posted the ingredient list to Pheros over at Love-Scent and its very much a Middle Eastern frankincense/myrrh built blend. It's 'spend a night in the King's Chamber and have a mystical experience' type stuff. Mindblowing and precious. So once in a while when I want a hit of the afterlife, I pull it out and smell deeply. Wow. It actually creates memories from another lifetime; walking through dark torch lit hallways of marble and stone; hushed priests chanting, music from another time and many Gods and the Pharoah to be served...

 

My new friend knows about my medical issues. Boy, does he. We had planned a first meeting on a Monday afternoon (meeting halfway so neither had to drive so far) and I had to email a few hours' beforehand and tell him the doctor's office had called, that I had urgent preop appointments finalized for that same time frame, and oh, by the way, I'm having a lumpectomy for breast cancer this Friday... I hadn't wanted to tell him before we met in person, at least; and frankly I was still dealing with it internally and couldn't talk about it yet. I was expecting him to back away and do the 'normal' thing you do when a stranger tells you they have a rather scary medical diagnosis. Instead (this is before even having met in person or talked on the phone!) he offered to come with me to the hospital, did I need a ride or anything else, etc... Anything, anything at all. I was astonished; this in someone I had just emailed so far. Granted, they were some durn good email conversations, but dayum!

 

I guess now I'm worried that he won't want to get involved past a certain friendship point because of this rather looming issue, or if it's more his own realization that in the past he's gone too fast and regretted it and he's learned not to. I probably came on too strong at first too; there's a lot of ummm, pent-up demand, sexually, here. Because the tumor was estrogen-receptor positive (meaning it feeds on hormones) I've had to abruptly stop all the supplements I was taking, DHEA and pregnenolone, as well as black cohosh and it turns out they were stabilizing my moods a lot. I'm now full-on, on a rollercoaster emotionally. Not easy and I'm having trouble holding it together on a minute-to-minute basis.

 

"I have been thinking long and hard about it - and I am sure but maybe you have thought about this approach - you are the one on the ground and can read the situation the best - but before I was married I once found myself in a situation remotely similar - if he knows your medical situation - maybe just say something like "Look - this can go in any direction - but whichever direction it goes I really want to enjoy life to its fullest with you". I know everyone is different but I said "Yes".

 

Yup - very much this is a way of saying it. Thanks for giving me the words.

 

Someone on one of the other threads made a very salient point; that sex is the icing and the cake is the important part. Guess I should keep reminding myself of that and at least wait until the cake is out of the oven and cooled down to slather the icing on :) This would NOT be my usual way of doing things. What can I say, I'm a Leo :)

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Quiet Guy, I can't really wear Pheros; I absolutely swoon at the smell of it; the pure resin/no chemicals smell of it is ancient, abiding; it's damn near reincarnational. But it's far too heavy to actually wear on me. I'm a five foot tall, very cuddly built blonde and this needs to be on a Nubian Egyptian Queen. 'Dr. Smell This' once posted the ingredient list to Pheros over at Love-Scent and its very much a Middle Eastern frankincense/myrrh built blend.

 

Haha - I will have to go search for that. I know everyone wanted him to brew some more - I guess he posted the recipe because he was not going to be able to.

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If I remember correctly, frankincense, myrrh, cedar, sandalwood ?, cinnamon, nutmeg... probably a bunch of others that I can't remember because the ingredients were so exotic. I know there wasn't a synthetic in there, he was quite clear on that. I'm pretty sure there are no pheromones in it.

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I saw that, Thaumaturgist (a word I need to look up!). I have some coming in sample form but if it works...I'll get more quickly.

 

Now the problem is, since I don't see his new guy but once a week, how do I figure out (quickly?!) which one works best? I can judge which ones I like best on myself fairly well but sometimes the self effects are different than the other people effects.

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If I remember correctly, frankincense, myrrh, cedar, sandalwood ?, cinnamon, nutmeg... probably a bunch of others that I can't remember because the ingredients were so exotic. I know there wasn't a synthetic in there, he was quite clear on that. I'm pretty sure there are no pheromones in it.

 

I found that if the scent works on me and makes me feel good, it gives me the self confidence and that works wonders.... I would try first with scents that work well on you and I bet your guy will like them too.

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Awww, thanks guys. I'm still awaiting my order so nothing to report there. I *did* do some experimentation with a freebie I won over at LoveScent, MojoPro for Women. I haven't had a chance to try it on a human male yet, but my roomie's male golden retriever really liked my leg for some reason! :) I think the smell of it is pretty strong, I doubt I would wear it more than just once or twice to test results in a noncommittal fashion. One of the tricks I used to use years ago to test pheromones (LoveScents EoW and Alter Ego) was to go into a bar or music venue situation without them on and notice reactions to me. Then apply them, wait for the dry down to happen for a bit outdoors and return to the same scene. You could definitely see the results that way, if any.

 

This week has seen two visits with the 'Chemo Guy' and the 'Radiation Guy'; while at first I was bound and determined not to go ahead with either one, I seem to have been talked into the radiation; I'll be getting brachytherapy, a short version of internal radiation through a catheter that's inserted and left in place for 10 days; there was suspicious cells in the tissue that was removed with the lumpectomy so the case was made that knocking them back into submission would be a good idea.

 

My big problem now is the hormonal therapy; I've had to stop some smart drugs I was taking, DHEA and pregnenolone as well as black cohosh, all for menopausal symptoms as well as memory issues, brain fog, etc. Inside of three weeks I was crashing big time. Coming from a remarkably steady-state, almost nothing bothers me mental and emotional state to hot flashes, massive mood swings, tearing up for no (?) reason and just wanting to hide under the covers. If they put me on aromatase inhibitors to suppress an estrogen-receptive cancer, the little estrogen I have now will be reduced to 98% of endogenous. Add in user's reports of horrible joint pain ('like I'm 100 years old!), osteopenia and osteoporosis, cardiac damage, etc and so forth (not to mention probable deep depression and brain fog) and I'm really not wanting to do those things.

 

I have a question for 'Rosebud' if she's listening; I think she might be the only doctor around here. Any possibility that wearing hormonally based scents will affect blood levels? I don't think so, the research is sketchy though. I think the pheromones might actually help me cope with everything.

 

Well, off to read about all the new scents! This place is becoming my fantasy go-to to get away from real life for a while...:)

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Animals are strongly affected by pheromones. Dogs, cats, horses ... my kids. JK. Well - they are all effected. I just don't really view my kids as animals. Usually. Until I step into their rooms. Nevermind.

 

With everything that you are going through I would not say tearing up from time to time is for no reason but I know what you are saying.

 

I do not know that I have seen anything where wearing pheromones will affect your hormone levels but Rosebud or perhaps Xev (who unfotunately has not been around lately) would be the definitive ones to ask.

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