Equinox Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Hi! I've been lurking around here for several weeks, having been lured here by someone I "know" from another forum who interested me in the concept of pheros. I'm also very interested in perfume - basically because I've never been able to wear any. I'm allergic to a lot of commercial fragrances and get headaches when exposed to many scents in cleaning products, bath products, etc. It seems to be the florals that do me in, tbh. The only floral that doesn't give me a headache or make me sneeze is lavender (which I like). Green scents, woody scents, nutty scents, and fruity scents are all ok but tbh I've never really looked into perfume seriously. But lets get down to business. I really just want to find some light, clean, scents to cover the pheros. My ex and I are coming up for a divorce mediation and the problem is that even though we are fairly amicable - he only remains civil because I'm an expert at not provoking him. He is personality disordered (he doesn't know it, but our marriage counsellor diagnosed him for me) and it's going to be next to impossible to get down to brass tacks on the settlement because his giant ego will be in the way. Also, he'll feel compelled to grandstand, manufacture chaos, cry, whine, hog the floor, and possibly also rage if things don't go his way. All I really want is primary physical custody of our DD, who is 3. Right now we're at close to 50-50 and, after almost a year of trial separation, she still asks me if she can stay with me all the time. I just don't think it's right to make her live away from me so much when before I left him he did literally nothing and saw her for maybe half an hour a day, tops. Also, he's kind of a nutter so I want to give her a stable home. The only reason we're in the mess is that he proposed one custody arrangement to me and then after I had signed a lease, paid first an last month's rent, purchased furniture, taken out a line of credit and had all my boxes packed in the living room ready to go - he changed his mind and wanted more time. Probably his plan all along, tbh. I'm not saying that he doesn't love DD, but really, it was all about money to him. When I cried and asked him why he changed his mind, he just said he needed to have more than 40% custody (the minimum cut off for child support). So, as you can see - it's an all around great guy I'm going to be dealing with, here. Now, money is very important to him and I'm pretty much prepared to give up all of the really VERY considerable amount of money he owes me in order to get the custody arrangement I want, but I'd prefer not to have to do that if I don't have to. I'm thinking of test driving both Mother's Little Helper and Swimming with Sharks. I ordered the MLH in the Kangaroo potion because it really seemed to sum up the vibe I want to have. But I also ordered UN SWS and a few clean sounding scents to try it out with (Bonnie, Upstairs Downstairs, Autumn Wishes). I got Lamb with PP, just for fun, as well but I think I made a mistake there because I didn't notice the honeysuckle and I'm pretty sure that will be a problem. But we shall see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravenwing Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 welcome here for starters! sorry to hear about the divorce.I think the SWS is a great phero to use in this situation. Best of luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amalthea1978 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Yes, welcome - you'll find that you've stumbled onto a great little community here! So sorry to hear about your situation! I haven't had the chance to try out SWS yet, but I always find that Mother's Little Helper does seem to calm people around me and give me a more "in control" vibe. I'm sure after you've tried them out, you will find what works best for you. As far as perfume goes, I think you'll be VERY pleasantly surprised. I've never been a fan of commercial scents, but I LOVE lp's, and I'm finding that I can even sometimes branch out into some scents that never worked for me before, like some florals and darker scents. Good luck with everything, and definitely keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuTrix Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome to the forum for starters I think you'll find a jackpot here on agreeable scents. I've never been able to wear commercial fragrances for the same reasons but I have found MANY wonderful things here that do NOT come with a raging headache or that stabbing to the sinuses/third eye. It's been a blast finding out what I like and a delight to have found so many! Sorry to here about your situation. I think you made a great choice with picking up swimming with sharks. I thought of that and La Femme Mystere. It sounds like you will have your hands full, but it also sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders and that is an exceedingly great advantage Definitely wishing you the very best through this troublesome time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 Thanks a lot everyone! I really can't wait to get started and I appreciate your suggestions. I thought La Femme Mystere sounded pretty cool too, but then I thought in the end SWS might be more appropriate. I don't want to take unfair advantage of anyone - I just want to calm things down enough so that a rational discussion is possible and both SWS and MLH sounded like good possibilities there. And I'm so excited by the idea of being able to wear perfume. I see a lot of other people here who have mentioned not being able to tolerate commercial scents but things working out fine here. I bet I'll still have to stay away from florals (because actual real flowers are a problem for me as well) but it looks like there are plenty of interesting things to experiment with. And I know just what you mean by sinus headache! That happened to me this weekend when I made some homemade slime for my daughter that used some leftover hair conditioner. I played with it for about 30 minutes and I felt like I'd burned the sinuses above my eyes for about 6 hours afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuTrix Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I played with it for about 30 minutes and I felt like I'd burned the sinuses above my eyes for about 6 hours afterwards. It's probably rude to laugh but it's only because I understand where you're coming from. I have found some florals here that are lovely but I steer clear of most as well. And the clean linen/laundry type scents - though lovely - don't agree with me either. I think it has more to do with association. I have worn some of those scents without the "stabby eye" but don't general gravitate to them. I'm sure you'll find lots of wonderful goodies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietguy Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Hello and welcome to the forum! I too am sorry to hear about the divorce and the difficult situation you have been dealing with. Other than to say SWS is a great pheromone mix, I will have to leave the rest of the recommendations up to the ladies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveStruck Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome Equinox and I'm sorry you are here under such dire circumstances! You will find an enormous amount of helpful info though, not to mention lots of moral support! I'm still too new to recommend much based on experience; In the short time I've been part of the forums, I have had good results with SWS and Open Windows in social situations; Treasured Hearts worked miracles for me when I was around difficult in-laws and made for a calmer environment altogether. All of these were recommendations from the experts here on the forum, so you are in good hands! It sounds like your soon-to-be-ex is making a power play using DD as a pawn, sadly. He knows how devoted you are to DD and will use that as a weapon. It's tough to keep a "poker face" when your heart is involved (your precious little girl). Would the marriage counselor (who admitted he has a personality disorder) be willing to confirm his/her findings to a judge should things get ugly? Good luck and bless you and your little one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggers Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Hi Equinox, and welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I read your introduction a couple of hours ago, and have been trying to think of what I might use if I were in similar circumstances. I haven't used much SWS myself, or MLH for that matter, but they both seem like good choices. I sometimes use Treasured Hearts when I know I'm going to be around prickly people. It kind of softens some people's edges. I also wear Open Windows when I know I could be around potentially cranky people. I hope you can wear the scents here! They're incredible, and completely addictive! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome to the forum! GOSH, deja vu when I read what you are going through! My situation was almost identical.....personality disordered man who, while we wee together, did not hardly interact with my son, who was three years old when we split, and he wanted 50/50 when we did split, only to cut down child support. I have given up a lot over the years, just to keep my son with me (he is 15 now). WOW I had the same problem with commercial scents AND florals. Many florals do very very bad things with my skin chemistry. However, you will find here that Mara has several different varieties of most florals and she blends them so artfully! There are some that even I can wear!! Re: the pheros....SWS would be good, so would Treasured Hearts or Open Windows. I get the best results from my ex with Dominance mainly because he is an aggressive ASS and the Dom helps me put him in his place. Again, welcome!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 What a great community of people this is. Hello and welcome to the forum! I too am sorry to hear about the divorce and the difficult situation you have been dealing with. Other than to say SWS is a great pheromone mix, I will have to leave the rest of the recommendations up to the ladies Glad to hear that SWS gets the thumbs up from men as well as women. And I'd be happy to get a man's perspective on this so if any pheros come to mind, let me know. Welcome Equinox and I'm sorry you are here under such dire circumstances! You will find an enormous amount of helpful info though, not to mention lots of moral support! I'm still too new to recommend much based on experience; In the short time I've been part of the forums, I have had good results with SWS and Open Windows in social situations; Treasured Hearts worked miracles for me when I was around difficult in-laws and made for a calmer environment altogether. All of these were recommendations from the experts here on the forum, so you are in good hands! It sounds like your soon-to-be-ex is making a power play using DD as a pawn, sadly. He knows how devoted you are to DD and will use that as a weapon. It's tough to keep a "poker face" when your heart is involved (your precious little girl). Would the marriage counselor (who admitted he has a personality disorder) be willing to confirm his/her findings to a judge should things get ugly? Good luck and bless you and your little one. HI Lovestruck, that's good to know about Treasured Hearts. I hadn't considered it for some reason. And yes, I think the marriage counsellor that we saw (both jointly and individually) would back me up on this if it came to that. If my ex digs in his heels I can request that we both go through psych evals and a parenting evaluation, but I'm hoping it won't come to that - because what an awful thing to do. I'd rather just make it all about money because that's way less likely to antagonize him. I don't really care about antagonizing him, tbh, it's just that once I do, he'll get all defensive and dig in his heels and it will take a bulldozer to move him. Anyway, you have reminded me that I need to make one more appointment with our old marriage counsellor just to make sure. Hi Equinox, and welcome! I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. I read your introduction a couple of hours ago, and have been trying to think of what I might use if I were in similar circumstances. I haven't used much SWS myself, or MLH for that matter, but they both seem like good choices.I sometimes use Treasured Hearts when I know I'm going to be around prickly people. It kind of softens some people's edges. I also wear Open Windows when I know I could be around potentially cranky people.I hope you can wear the scents here! They're incredible, and completely addictive! Hmmn. Another vote for Treasured Hearts. I may have a second order in my future. Welcome to the forum! GOSH, deja vu when I read what you are going through! My situation was almost identical.....personality disordered man who, while we wee together, did not hardly interact with my son, who was three years old when we split, and he wanted 50/50 when we did split, only to cut down child support. I have given up a lot over the years, just to keep my son with me (he is 15 now). WOW I had the same problem with commercial scents AND florals. Many florals do very very bad things with my skin chemistry. However, you will find here that Mara has several different varieties of most florals and she blends them so artfully! There are some that even I can wear!! Re: the pheros....SWS would be good, so would Treasured Hearts or Open Windows. I get the best results from my ex with Dominance mainly because he is an aggressive ASS and the Dom helps me put him in his place. Again, welcome!!! I'm also on a forum for personality disorder support and it's really amazing how many women (and men too! although fewer of them are on the boards) are in this situation. It's like they all read from the same play book or something. Ok, I think I'll order Treasured Hearts as well. Got my tax refund coming and this is worth the investment after all. Not sure about Dom. The thing is, I want to have the right effect on not only him, but also his lawyer, my lawyer and the mediator, kwim? I want to seem calm, reasonable, and friendly as well as in control. I want to command everybody's respect but with warm, fuzzy edges (remember, I want to seem like a good Mom, too). I know that he's going to paint me as a cold b*tch who is impossible to please (not even remotely true, but whenever he gets backed into a corner he makes random accusations like this or projects his own flaws on to me). So, my question is, would Dom be too much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBear Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 welcome to the forum! I would suggest Treasured Hearts, La Femme Mystere and Leather. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missdarlyncherie Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome Equinox!! I will leave the recommendations for pheros to everyone else....having never been in such a sitch! MLH is one of the only pheros I have not tried so I will be interested to hear how that works out for you. I have some coming in a Kangaroo sample though! So I will be experimenting too... There are so many scents here (as I am sure you have noticed) you will find plenty to love that won't stab you to death!! Have fun exploring and let us know how it goes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella15 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 You've already gotten lots of great recs, so I just want to say Welcome!! And good luck!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 Thanks, all. I'm going to go back and have a look at all those recommendations. I really appreciate it. I have a lot of people I want to inspire respect in and that I want to feel positively inclined to me. Two of them are men and two of them are women, when you add up all the lawyers, exes and mediators in the room. So I'm going to go back and read through the threads on each of these to make sure I have a handle on the male/female effects. Then after being sensible I'll probably just go ahead and order them all anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveStruck Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Re: the pheros....SWS would be good, so would Treasured Hearts or Open Windows. I get the best results from my ex with Dominance mainly because he is an aggressive ASS and the Dom helps me put him in his place. I thought about Dom too, Dolly - I just didn't want to be the first to say it since I'm still "green", LOL. I know my ex turned into a vindictive, cunning A-hole during our divorce (despite his initial claim that he wanted to be "fair") He just told me what bullshit he could that would get me to move out of OUR house so that he wouldn't be inconvenienced & could feel in control. Hindsight being 20/20, I learned a big lesson about the male ego with that one. I wish I had Dom back then... Obviously I'm remarried but you can bet it's in my arsenal now. Best of luck to you Equinox... Stay strong for you & DD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I think honestly I'd go with Leather first. Dom flips my bitch switch but Leather does not. Dom might put him in his place if you yourself are an alpha personality like Ms Dolly. If you are not wanting to project alpha ness I would go with Leather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveStruck Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 (edited) I think honestly I'd go with Leather first. Dom flips my bitch switch but Leather does not. Dom might put him in his place if you yourself are an alpha personality like Ms Dolly. If you are not wanting to project alpha ness I would go with Leather. You are totally right Halo - I just ordered Leather in my last shipment and haven't received it yet so I didn't even go there... but you are right, best to try that one first if aggression is warranted. Edited May 7, 2014 by LoveStruck55 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyVictoria Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome, can we maybe hire a hitman to just kill the son of a bitch? My divorce lasted forever, and my ex I believe is personality disordered as well.. when money is involved it always gets greasy, I can't imagine having a child go through all of this.. I feel for you. I still don't know which is worse, being married or getting a divorce. They both sucked the life out of me and made it so I had to watch what I spent on cupcakes and pretty things. We are here to support you through your phero journey and provide alibis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveStruck Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 We are here to support you through your phero journey and provide alibis. ...and a LOL when you least expect it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheBirkeys Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Welcome to the forum! I am sorry that you are having to go through this...from the posts it seems like several of us have gone through the same thing. I am fairly new, so I wouldn't want to recommend anything, just to tell you that these ladies/men on the forum have a great deal of knowledge and are very caring people. I have been in my personal hell with my ex and escaped it 5 years ago...life is so much more wonderful when they are not in it! Mine sucked the life out of me too and I am just now getting my mojo back...it is hard while you're going through it, but the reward of freedom makes it so worth it!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and send some positive vibes your way!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 You guys are hilarious! And definitely no to a hitman - frankly he's just not worth it. This is what I tell my Dad every time he offers to go over and introduce my ex to his baseball bat. And Dom and Leather scare me a bit. I'm not an alpha person. Most people find me good-natured and harmless. However, when the chips are down I have a slight advantage because I have a cool head and I'm very diplomatic. That's why I was steering more towards SWS and MLH - and now LFM. I thought those might just add a bit of oomph to my natural tendency. Also, tbh, MLH appealed to me because my ex has the mental age of a four-year-old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StacyK Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Welcome, can we maybe hire a hitman to just kill the son of a bitch? My divorce lasted forever, and my ex I believe is personality disordered as well.. when money is involved it always gets greasy, I can't imagine having a child go through all of this.. I feel for you. I still don't know which is worse, being married or getting a divorce. They both sucked the life out of me and made it so I had to watch what I spent on cupcakes and pretty things. We are here to support you through your phero journey and provide alibis. ^^OMG ..me too. You hit the bail on the head LV. Welcome Sorry for your troubles.. I'm nosey so excuse me but if he's going to put up a fight you better just get your own attorney and file with the court. Just, my own experiences say don't pussy foot around. Also, in front of a judge I'd wear LFM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 8, 2014 Author Share Posted May 8, 2014 (edited) ^^OMG ..me too. You hit the bail on the head LV. Welcome Sorry for your troubles.. I'm nosey so excuse me but if he's going to put up a fight you better just get your own attorney and file with the court. Just, my own experiences say don't pussy foot around. Also, in front of a judge I'd wear LFM. Thanks for the advice StacyK. I do have my own attorney and so does he. This is a closed mediation with both lawyers present. We get three sessions and if we can't solve it I'll just file. I'm moderately optimistic that we can do this through mediation because 1) he can't think on his feet and I can, and 2) he's a world class cheap skate and mediation is the cheapest option. And LFM is going to be my next purchase. I'm already looking for some good scents to pair it with. I need something non-floral, of course (because of the allergy thing), elegant and feminine. I'm thinking I might order a sample of 221B for that. What do you think? Any other good recommendations? I'm looking forward to trying out LFM for sure because it's got that air of sophistication to it which will make the contrast between me and my ex greater (I did mention that he acts like an overgrown toddler, right?) All the other samples I got were for SWS so I went for things that sounded clean and fresh. Edited May 8, 2014 by Equinox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donsie Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Hi, Equinox. I have no phero suggestions at the moment (plenty of good ones already) but I just wanted to say that I hope your mediation goes as smoothly as possible and that you get your desired outcomes. Oh, and on me at least Dom doesn't make anyone bristle, just makes them deferential and sweet as pie. If you do end up trying 221B I'd love to know what you think of it. I've been stalking it since December and just haven't got round to ordering it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuTrix Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 (edited) I'm also on a forum for personality disorder support and it's really amazing how many women (and men too! although fewer of them are on the boards) are in this situation. It's like they all read from the same play book or something. I'm moderately optimistic that we can do this through mediation because 1) he can't think on his feet and I can, and 2) he's a world class cheap skate and mediation is the cheapest option. Wow - they really DO operate out of the same play book! I remember our marriage counselor saying something similar when I went through my separation/divorce. My ex behaved embarrassingly before the judge and my attorney commended me later for not allowing him to goad me, but I had seen that behavior so many times that it didn't surprise me, only made me feel embarrassed for him. Counseling and support groups like you're involved in really do help us to see that we aren't alone and that this behavior is not acceptable, nor should it be. Your 1 & 2 above made me chuckle though, because, as manipulative as some try/want to be, sometimes they just aren't actually cunning enough to pull it off. Be glad his disorder is apparent by his behavior, it really will make less work for you Edited to add: Now re-married to a wonderful guy and wouldn't trade him for anything.... I've seen more rainbows while we've been together than I have in my whole life time~ I believe it's a sign Edited May 8, 2014 by NuTrix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StacyK Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Thanks for the advice StacyK. I do have my own attorney and so does he. This is a closed mediation with both lawyers present. We get three sessions and if we can't solve it I'll just file. I'm moderately optimistic that we can do this through mediation because 1) he can't think on his feet and I can, and 2) he's a world class cheap skate and mediation is the cheapest option. And LFM is going to be my next purchase. I'm already looking for some good scents to pair it with. I need something non-floral, of course (because of the allergy thing), elegant and feminine. I'm thinking I might order a sample of 221B for that. What do you think? Any other good recommendations? I'm looking forward to trying out LFM for sure because it's got that air of sophistication to it which will make the contrast between me and my ex greater (I did mention that he acts like an overgrown toddler, right?) All the other samples I got were for SWS so I went for things that sounded clean and fresh. 221B is great. Sheer'ish understated and elegant. If scent is an issue you can have Mara lightly scent a phero or phero mix for you . That option is available in the Perfumerie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Welcome sweety. I'm going through a divorce & custody battle also. Honestly, I wouldn't really worry about pheroing him too much. It's the mediator & the counsel you need to worry about. I second SWS & definitely OW. I've had a lot of success using Open Windows with my estranged husband (it couldn't win out with his drug use though, lol). Since it's a raw, emotional situation you may want to steer clear of the pheros that could trigger aggression or overly emotional responses. I know I love DHEAS, but if I try to wear Levitation around the ex anymore, I will feel so nerve wracked that I want to vomit :/ Balm Bomb is another greta one to have in the arsenal for situations like these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donsie Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Welcome sweety. I'm going through a divorce & custody battle also. Honestly, I wouldn't really worry about pheroing him too much. It's the mediator & the counsel you need to worry about. Excellent point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 9, 2014 Author Share Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) Wow - they really DO operate out of the same play book! I remember our marriage counselor saying something similar when I went through my separation/divorce. My ex behaved embarrassingly before the judge and my attorney commended me later for not allowing him to goad me, but I had seen that behavior so many times that it didn't surprise me, only made me feel embarrassed for him. Counseling and support groups like you're involved in really do help us to see that we aren't alone and that this behavior is not acceptable, nor should it be. Your 1 & 2 above made me chuckle though, because, as manipulative as some try/want to be, sometimes they just aren't actually cunning enough to pull it off. Be glad his disorder is apparent by his behavior, it really will make less work for you Edited to add: Now re-married to a wonderful guy and wouldn't trade him for anything.... I've seen more rainbows while we've been together than I have in my whole life time~ I believe it's a sign Well, Nutrix, I'm glad to hear that there's life after finally giving these PD types the heave-ho. Not that I'm even remotely looking for any action right now (I'm kind of fed up with men at the moment - except for friends, of course). Still, a relief to hear from someone who's made it out to the other side. And yes, I'm lucky that my particular PD is what is known as a low-functioning one. This means that he is not really capable of hiding his disordered behaviour. He's very high functioning in other aspects of his life but it's probably lucky that he's self-employed, if you know what I mean. Like you, I've seen it all before and I'm not easily goaded. 221B is great. Sheer'ish understated and elegant. If scent is an issue you can have Mara lightly scent a phero or phero mix for you . That option is available in the Perfumerie. Yep. I'm definitely going to look into that after I've tried a few samples and find the one I want to phero. Welcome sweety. I'm going through a divorce & custody battle also. Honestly, I wouldn't really worry about pheroing him too much. It's the meYdiator & the counsel you need to worry about. I second SWS & definitely OW. I've had a lot of success using Open Windows with my estranged husband (it couldn't win out with his drug use though, lol). Since it's a raw, emotional situation you may want to steer clear of the pheros that could trigger aggression or overly emotional responses. I know I love DHEAS, but if I try to wear Levitation around the ex anymore, I will feel so nerve wracked that I want to vomit :/ Balm Bomb is another greta one to have in the arsenal for situations like these. So sorry to hear that you're going through something similar. Custody battles are the worst and I gather from seeing a few of your other posts that your ex is not exactly out there getting prizes for his winning personality and parenting skills. SWS is in my first order and is hopefully winging its way over to me as we speak. I hadn't considered Open Windows in that category. Hmmn. Good point about avoiding triggering aggressive responses. The LAST thing I need is to sit through another vein popping scream fest where he rolls on the ground gnashing his teeth and smashing things. I mean, that's why I left him and I don't want to pay a bunch of lawyers and mediators to sit around and wait for him to get his sh*t together (although, on the other hand, pretty much all of his credibility would be gone by that point). Can SWS be layered wtih Open Windows? Edited May 9, 2014 by Equinox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuTrix Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 And yes, I'm lucky that my particular PD is what is known as a low-functioning one. This means that he is not really capable of hiding his disordered behaviour. Like you, I've seen it all before and I'm not easily goaded. I don't want to pay a bunch of lawyers and mediators to sit around and wait for him to get his sh*t together (although, on the other hand, pretty much all of his credibility would be gone by that point). Oh My! My ex didn't roll on the floor, but the pointless rant and standing out of his seat to throw slanderous remarks pretty well did him in. All I had to do show up and let my attorney do all the taking. I recall being in awe of how well the judge handled him (nearly in contempt of court). I think the intent was to let him go on just long enough to see if he realized how foolishly he was behaving. And when my ex didn't, the judge stopped him before he made things worse for himself. I think after dealing with enough people, the courts become familiar with those play books as well. Sadly, I don't think my ex realized how negatively he impacted things for himself until after the fact. His own attorney seem befuddled - I hope your mediation goes as well in your favor When he behaved publically like that it was embarrassing, because, after all, I made a choice to marry this guy - so somewhere part of the embarrassment was my own because I wondered what people must have thought of me for having married "that." But I didn't hang on to that for an instant, because if I'd known what I do in hindsight - I'd have run from that FOH SHO! So let him act a fool, you'll get your baby and won't have to explain anything to anybody! They'll be glad for you and for a stable home for your toddler. Then you can focus more attention on LP and perfume and on fun in general! ^_~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goddessinjapan Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 NuTrix, I love that about the rainbows... I've started seeing more already!! <== Equinox, just wanted to say, I got SWS, and it works. Stopped him mid-rant when I moved upwind of him. This stuff is magic. Think I'll lose the guy, keep the perfume!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 NuTrix, I love that about the rainbows... I've started seeing more already!! <== Equinox, just wanted to say, I got SWS, and it works. Stopped him mid-rant when I moved upwind of him. This stuff is magic. Think I'll lose the guy, keep the perfume!! Hi Goddess! I haven't seen you on the PD forum for a while. I actually came here after reading your raving reviews and I ordered a whole pile of stuff almost three weeks ago now. I'm sitting here champing at the bit to get my first order so I can start trying them out. I'm waiting until it arrives before I get another order - because I hear good things about La Femme Mystere for keeping people in line as well. I'm so happy to hear that your scum sucking lying cheater who lies (that was his name, right?) is finally showing you some respect. Or at least, is not ranting at you. Ok, I'm going to go check the post again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 That is awesome! Mid-rant you say? I wish all of you going through this much success your pheros.... The ex & his mother tried to pull some serious bullshit with me & they didn't think I would catch it! But I definitely caught & it's going to backfire BIG time on them both Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StacyK Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 That is awesome! Mid-rant you say? I wish all of you going through this much success your pheros.... The ex & his mother tried to pull some serious bullshit with me & they didn't think I would catch it! But I definitely caught & it's going to backfire BIG time on them both What? now she's back on his side, I thought she was cooperating and helping you? wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equinox Posted May 16, 2014 Author Share Posted May 16, 2014 The ex & his mother tried to pull some serious bullshit with me & they didn't think I would catch it! But I definitely caught & it's going to backfire BIG time on them both Nice. Sounds like that's going to be veeeeeeery satisfying when it comes back to slap them in the face like a big dead fish. Karma's great, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goddessinjapan Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) Nice. Sounds like that's going to be veeeeeeery satisfying when it comes back to slap them in the face like a big dead fish. Karma's great, isn't it?I like the image of the Karmic Fish. Like the end of the Monty Python fish-slapping dance. Yes, you have a good memory: my soon-to-be-ex's initials are indeed SSLCWL...stands for scum-sucking lying cheater who lies. But I'm not bitter. I just slather on some Cougar and stroll by the junior college smoking area to watch the whiplash. And silently remind myself, this too shall pass. Right? Edited May 16, 2014 by Goddessinjapan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amalthea1978 Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 Glad to hear things seem to be getting at least a little better! Equinox, just wanted to say, I got SWS, and it works. Stopped him mid-rant when I moved upwind of him.This stuff is magic. Think I'll lose the guy, keep the perfume!! I haven't tried SWS, but I feel this way about some lps too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted May 16, 2014 Share Posted May 16, 2014 What? now she's back on his side, I thought she was cooperating and helping you? wow She is not well mentally, I'm going to have to assume this. I pulled 1 minor stunt to sow dissent between my estranged husband & his ...ahem... lovely girlfriend. Which worked & laughably well. The meth head doesn't visit him in jail, nor accept his calls Anyway, he's admitted to me that shooting up meth is the common denominator between them & although he professes to want to get clean, he plans on pursuing a relationship with the woman that he really only has a relationship with because they are drug addicts that like to shoot up together???? His mom was only united with me in our hatred for this woman & when there's a hiccup in the relationship, she stabs me in the back & makes a play to just straight up take my son as soon as his douche bag dad gets out of jail. They didn't think I would catch it AND it involved welfare fraud, just genius, really.... Nice. Sounds like that's going to be veeeeeeery satisfying when it comes back to slap them in the face like a big dead fish. Karma's great, isn't it? Yes it is I like the image of the Karmic Fish. Like the end of the Monty Python fish-slapping dance. Yes, you have a good memory: my soon-to-be-ex's initials are indeed SSLCWL...stands for scum-sucking lying cheater who lies. But I'm not bitter. I just slather on some Cougar and stroll by the junior college smoking area to watch the whiplash. And silently remind myself, this too shall pass. Right? Hahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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