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Best Unscented Pheros to Make Progress With a New Doctor?


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Hi everyone. As some of you know, I have been sick with some sort of sinus/ear problem for the entire summer and then some. I have tried getting somewhere with the doctors in my immediate area, but to no avail since the healthcare around here is pretty much appallingly bad. I am so tired, frustrated, scared, and still sick. They simply do not listen or are inept. I am losing my hearing in my one fairly good ear and very afraid. I finally got the name of an ENT Doc who has a great reputation in Boston. People around here know if it is very serious, you pretty much have to go to Boston if you want and need the best care you can get. So my appointment is on September 4th, and I need to make the most of this visit and get all that I can out of it. That means getting the doctor to not just listen to me, but HEAR what I am saying and also be willing to cooperate and do whatever is necessary to help me to finally get better. Any suggestions for which pheros would be best in this situation? My arsenal includes OW, Dom, SWS, TH, EST, LFM, DHEAS, Stone Cougar, and Androstenol. Any thoughts on which would give me the best edge? If it matters, the doctor in question is an older man. Late 60s perhaps? I would welcome and be most grateful for any input on this. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

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Dear Rose,

 

So sorry to hear about your troubles. I finally got my ear issue taken care of by a craniosacral therapist, but I was so very miserable until then. I sincerely hope this man will listen to you and help you.

 

What you describe sounds like SWS. Respect/ being really listened to. It's a blend of pheros and probably includes some of the Dom and the androstenols. Otherwise, I would go for Dom. I wouldn't go EST or LFM. Older docs already see you as a woman, possibly one who is attention-seeking, or doesn't know what she is talking about. No point in boosting your femininity. I'm in healthcare and I do sadly see this frequently. You need to come across as calm, in control, as someone they respect.

 

Please let me know how this all works out for you.

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I wore SWS when I saw my new primary care doctor and persuaded him to put me on the thyroid med I am on now. He wouldn't put the dosage where I wanted it, but I did convince him to start it in the first place. I wouldn't use Dom, because I think that would be too "in his face" so to speak.

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Speaking as a female in the surgical field, I'd go for TH, or possibly a LIGHT dose of SWS. Surgeons are usually quite particular about things & ENT surgeons tend to lean towards the "anal retentive & set in their ways" end of the spectrum. The older generation are often even more old school so they really don't like being told what to do. Most don't like it when patients try and tell them what they want done, especially not females. They are still stuck in their old ways and the old way of paternalistic medical practice where "the doctor knows best" and simply tells the patient the diagnosis & what investigations/treatments they as doctor have decided the patient needs, rather than involving the patient in the decision process.

I've alway had much better results with social blends or softer more female ones like H&S, TH or lace. Whenever I used SWS, Dom or leather around male surgical colleagues they became very stand-offish & irritable with me. I was never treated as an equal wearing the more alpha type blends, I always got more respect when I emphasised my softer side.

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RB whichever blend serves you similarly well generally, including with older and/or ageist and/or misogynist men (for me, that's SWS ....ETA if this particular doc doesn't fit "the profile", for me personally SWS is just as effective on other personalities, but SWS might not be the blend that does that for you; I think you've said Cougar works great for you with everyone?), I'd go with that. As always your comfort and congruence is key.

Edited by tyvey
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So sorry about your health. I am inclined to vote for SWS if it works well for you. If he is the dismissive type - it might make him take you more seriously. This is hard call. Something girly could make him want to care for you or it could invite contempt if he already thinks women are 'hysterical'.

 

Wishing you the best with this.

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Wow, each and every one of you has given me some much needed and much appreciated insight on this and I thank all of you for that. I have not yet met this doctor yet, so have no idea how he and I will mesh personality wise. Rosebud has hit upon some particular issues which have in the past, been a problem for me WITHOUT pheros. It's the old patriarchal BS, but I have also found this with a couple of female docs whom I have had dealings with. Many doctors and I do not seem to get on well. I have a fair understanding of medical things which I learned long ago to keep to myself when dealing with them. My mom became a Medical Assistant at the age of 50 and I helped her study to get through school. As for me, I did not even complete high school, I am self educated, but I picked up a lot over time simply through my own interest in the field and through osmosis. The old school doctors, male or female, do tend to have something of a demi god complex, but that veneer is in actuality, quite fragile. Something in me, seems to antagonize and/or threaten them? Perhaps not threaten, but that is how it comes across. In the past, when doctors have failed me I have actually gone so far as to write them letters whose purpose was to notify them that I was "relieving them of their duties as my physician." Doctors in actuality DO work for us, but they do not take kindly to being reminded of that fact in any sense. I loathe having to "dumb myself down" in order to get on well with them, but I do whatever it takes. Which brings me back to phero choices. The thing is, I have read reviews on this doctor, and many of those reviews have been posted by female patients who are gushing over him and saying that they just adore him. Some have even said that he is "charming" and "flirtatious!" No need to worry about anything inappropriate with him since I intend to bring my partner in with me. This last element, regarding his flirtatious nature casts a thoroughly confusing light on things and threw a wrench into the works for me, with respect to making the whole phero decision. In light of what I have added here, may I please trouble all of you for further thoughts on this?

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I'm going to totally throw a wrench in here so sorry in advance..

But in all the time I've been using Pheros. When it comes to Doctors the one and only I use now (I've tried 5) is LFM. Major, non refundable hits. Big and small (BTW, I'm not speaking of a sexual nature, I'm talking about a pleasant respectable interaction) .

IMO, LFM is the one. That's it! No other. I get the best cooperation, respect and/or treatment, whatever the situation. Whether I'm working alongside or I'm the patient. (I even used three 1 inch swipes for my surgery.) Nothing works better for me. I'm listened to, looked after whatever the case may be. I find a little goes a long way. It's my fav MD phero.

 

ETA.. As far as all that other stuff Rose. Let it all go. Firstly reviews, while occasionally helpful are highly subjective. For example a doctor who occasionally runs behind my just be the type that doesn't keep his/her patient on a tight time limit, so you may wait a bit longer but get the same level of care. You don't want a McDoc.

Also and I know this may be a little off putting but the whole rumor mill about Dr Blue Eyes being a flirt ect. Well that might be, but in reality the odds are it's more in the mind of the Patient. I've seen it first hand. No he's not into you, he's just a nice guy. (Yea there are a few)

I've even had the occasional similar experience. Being asked out because we "obviously had a connection" ect. Or just because of what I do and there's maybe a little fetish or something. It's awkward but usually people do care and want to help.. it just ends there. I've seen some more intense stuff with female Doc's (and really funny sometimes).

I'd just go in talk to him/her if there's some type of really bad vibe, go elsewhere. Otherwise just relax, communicate clearly and try to be receptive to what the doctor says. Ask any questions and address all your concerns. It's ok to write it out and bring it with you too.

If you feel tense maybe try a relaxing phero for yourself, like Teddy BB. Good luck.

Edited by StacyK
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I'm with Stacy K on the LFM bandwagon -

Use it all the time with my docs all alpha male hard asses and I get whatever I want. I also find I get major respect during meetings and events that is crawling with older conservative alpha males. I wouldn't use TH Though that one makes me weepy and chat too much. I lose my edge when I wear that. Good luck - I'll be praying for you xoxoxo

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OK, thank you to androstenol, Dolly, tyvey, halo, Rosebud, Honeycake, StacyK, and LadyV. I have considered all of your input as well as the things that are pros and cons for me. What I am thinking will be my best bet is the LFM. If I were going to be dealing with a woman doctor, I would NOT go with this one since it seems to make women act weird when I wear it. Other than that, I love the selfies when I wear it. It gives me a nice sense of Yin and Yang balance, I feel calm and confident with it ( sort of like whatever comes up while wearing it, I have a "no worries, I've got this!" attitude) also, I love the effects it has on the males around me. They seem to be attracted, but not in an overtly sexual way. More like fascinated and likely receptive to what I have to say. I had considered this one before posting my question to all of you, but was not certain that it would be appropriate in a non social situation.

StacyK, I agree about the reviews. Taking it all with a grain of salt.

Honeycake, I agree also with the competent/feminine aspect to this. I get the same effects with LFM.

LadyV, Use it all the time with my docs all alpha male hard asses and I get whatever I want < LOL! That's all I am asking for! ;) And thanks for your prayers sweetie!

Will update here after visit! Thanks again!

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Sending good thoughts and energy your way Rose. I'm sure you'll be confidant and happy, it helps to work on any 'inner monologue' (for me anyhow). I think pheros can help move that monologue to happier places. I'm amazed at how insta-happier, more carefree some of the blends make me feel, hoping you find what works for you in this situation.

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Hi everyone. So sorry for leaving you hanging. Just getting back on here today. So.. the visit was.. disappointing. This doctor had me take a hearing test and the results came back showing that the hearing in my better ear is worse than I had thought. Not so much in the perception of loudness, but in clarity. The other ear came in bad in terms of both loudness and clarity, but I already knew it would. When I was 17, I was a passenger in a car and in a head on collision. Hit by a drunk driver with multiple offenses. So, lucky to have survived that.

This doctor looked at the disc of the CT scan of my sinuses that I brought along and said they looked "pristine." ( so why did the last doc, who I swear was a lunatic, state emphatically that I had a sinus infection and prescribe antibiotics- another long, crazy story there) Anyway, I asked this NEW doc if this CT scan would show any potential problems with my ear? He simply said "no." He said that it is probably just age related. I told him I realize that I am not getting any younger and that I know some hearing loss is inevitable, but it was the rate and intensity of the deterioration that concerned me. He said he feels that I should treat my allergies and this might help. The whole time, I felt as if I were in a daze and not really grasping the reality of any of this. It was not until hours later that the real level of my upset began to sink in. I told my partner that this doc's opinions seemed to be largely speculative and without any real diagnostic tests, such as a CT scan or other such imaging, that could rule out other potential problems, how could I know for certain that I had to resign myself to this???

I am honestly still trying to process all of this. Perhaps what I need to do is once I am calm enough, call his office and let him know how I feel and tell him I would like some sort of testing done to rule out anything else that might be going on. I realize HE is the doctor, but it is MY hearing, and I know for a fact that my hearing loss has NOT all been such a gradual thing and he is being dismissive of that! So.. given how this appointment went, all things considered, if I had the whole visit to do over again, I would likely have gone with Dominance Potion. I have had so many negative experiences with doctors and my anxiety gets the better of me and I can not even seem to process how I am feeling about what is happening or being said until MUCH later. I believe I need the heavier edge of the Dom when it comes to these dealings. So, that is what happened. In order to treat the dust mite allergies, I will need to zombify myself with antihistimines, but I'll give it a try. Beyond that, I am going to have to try to get this doctor or yet another one to at least humor me and consider something more definitive than their conjecture. I really do appreciate all of your thoughts, prayers, good energy, and support. Thanks so much to all of you! :love592:

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Hey Rose, I am in the medical field(not ENT) and I recommend that you look into a natural product called Xclear Xylitol nose spray, it has helped many of my patients with their allergies and also many have cancelled their surgeries after using this, look up reviews on Vitacost.com 200 people rank it 5 stars. You can find it at Whole foods. The xylitol kills the bacteria in your sinuses. Can't hurt for 10 bucks and all natural.

 

I had Adrenal fatigue and had to diagnose myself and was really tired of the MD crappola, finally feel great after seeing a naturalpath. If you have more problems with docs, see a naturalpath.

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Aw Rose! I'm so sorry this visit was so disappointing for you. It must be so incredibly frustrating to never get the answers from those who are meant to provide them. I would be suspicious of this doctor's "diagnosis" as well. And you're right: it's YOUR hearing. You should do what you feel is right.

 

And I know there are a few healthcare professionals on this board, so I don't mean to offend or cause any upset when I say this, but I have had so many issues with both doctors (and veterinarians, for that matter) screwing up, that I never hesitate to say *exactly* what is on my mind, or to refuse a treatment because I already know it's not suitable for me. For example, my family doctor can't seem to remember that he treated me for clinical depression for 7 full years, (and saw me quite frequently during that time), and continually prescribes medications which have depression as one of the main side effects. I *always* have to remind him, and ask him to prescribe something else. I realize it's because he's a busy man, and can't remember everything, and doesn't have time to review my chart before he sees me, or whatever... But it is MY health, and I refuse to just accept what he says. If I took every medication my doctor has prescribed for me, I'd still be on antidepressants. In fact, it was because of his gaffe/brain fart that I wound up having to take them at all!

 

I know healthcare is ridiculously expensive in the States, too. I can't imagine how frustrating and irritating it must be to have to think about the costs or whether or not your insurance company will decide to pay, ON TOP of already feeling poorly.

 

GAH! I feel an Eggers-style rant coming on, so I'll leave it at that.

 

I really hope you find the answers soon, Rose. :Hug_emoticon:

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I'm so sorry, Rose. It grinds my gears that it is even necessary for you to have to call this guy up and ask to have other things ruled out...for pity's sake, it's his job, it is what he is getting paid for, and no patient should be put in the position of having to ask a doctor to get off his ass and do his job. :smiley-angry016: You told him you were concerned and he should have respected that from the start. Unfortunately this kind of crap happens all too often. If I had an hour I'd tell you all about my saga getting my migraines diagnosed...one of my first "diagnoses" before I was referred to a neurologist was from my PCP, who in response to my description of what turned out to be migraine auras, told me "some girls just get the vapors." Yup. I was initially diagnosed with the vapors, due to the compelling medical evidence of being a young female. I know there are many competent medical practitioners out there, unfortunately finding the right one when you need them is an exercise in crazy making. I'll be keeping you in my prayers, please don't give up because of this yahoo.

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Hey Rose, I am in the medical field(not ENT) and I recommend that you look into a natural product called Xclear Xylitol nose spray, it has helped many of my patients with their allergies and also many have cancelled their surgeries after using this, look up reviews on Vitacost.com 200 people rank it 5 stars. You can find it at Whole foods. The xylitol kills the bacteria in your sinuses. Can't hurt for 10 bucks and all natural. Thanks so much living 101! I definitely will. I try to always approach things in terms of complimentary medicine. Holistically. I am not ignorant, nor am I an hysterical patient who wants their hand held while the medical powers that be determine what is best for me without any regard for my input. Rather, I tend to feel that many, definitely NOT all alopaths these days, are most valuable with respect to diagnostics. Remove that from the equation, and I am not certain what merits remain. Again, to my beloved LP friends in the world of medicine, not all by any means, but sadly, the many, with respect to what so many of us are confronted with.

 

 

 

I had Adrenal fatigue and had to diagnose myself and was really tired of the MD crappola, finally feel great after seeing a naturalpath. If you have more problems with docs, see a naturalpath.

Aw Rose! I'm so sorry this visit was so disappointing for you. It must be so incredibly frustrating to never get the answers from those who are meant to provide them. I would be suspicious of this doctor's "diagnosis" as well. And you're right: it's YOUR hearing. You should do what you feel is right.

And I know there are a few healthcare professionals on this board, so I don't mean to offend or cause any upset when I say this, but I have had so many issues with both doctors (and veterinarians, for that matter) screwing up, that I never hesitate to say *exactly* what is on my mind, or to refuse a treatment because I already know it's not suitable for me. For example, my family doctor can't seem to remember that he treated me for clinical depression for 7 full years, (and saw me quite frequently during that time), and continually prescribes medications which have depression as one of the main side effects. I *always* have to remind him, and ask him to prescribe something else. I realize it's because he's a busy man, and can't remember everything, and doesn't have time to review my chart before he sees me, or whatever... But it is MY health, and I refuse to just accept what he says. If I took every medication my doctor has prescribed for me, I'd still be on antidepressants. In fact, it was because of his gaffe/brain fart that I wound up having to take them at all!

I know healthcare is ridiculously expensive in the States, too. I can't imagine how frustrating and irritating it must be to have to think about the costs or whether or not your insurance company will decide to pay, ON TOP of already feeling poorly.

GAH! I feel an Eggers-style rant coming on, so I'll leave it at that. Eggers, what you are relating here is appalling! We are now speaking in terms of quality of life! May I ask, sincerely, WTF happened to the Hippocratic Oath??? I was recently told that docs are no longer required to take it??? My darling, it breaks my heart hearing what you have endured. NOT acceptable! :(

I really hope you find the answers soon, Rose. :Hug_emoticon:

I'm so sorry, Rose. It grinds my gears that it is even necessary for you to have to call this guy up and ask to have other things ruled out...for pity's sake, it's his job, it is what he is getting paid for, and no patient should be put in the position of having to ask a doctor to get off his ass and do his job. :smiley-angry016: You told him you were concerned and he should have respected that from the start. Unfortunately this kind of crap happens all too often. If I had an hour I'd tell you all about my saga getting my migraines diagnosed...one of my first "diagnoses" before I was referred to a neurologist was from my PCP, who in response to my description of what turned out to be migraine auras, told me "some girls just get the vapors." Yup. I was initially diagnosed with the vapors, due to the compelling medical evidence of being a young female. I know there are many competent medical practitioners out there, unfortunately finding the right one when you need them is an exercise in crazy making. I'll be keeping you in my prayers, please don't give up because of this yahoo. I am so sorry memomare! Again, NOT acceptable! I can not even bring myself to watch the movie, "Hysteria" because I just can't see how I will see the humor in this patriarchal bullshit! Yes, I do agree that there ARE many competent docs out there, but not all of us have the nervous system to endure the process that it involves to find them, and it only serves to exacerbate problems. In this day and age? Why??? A thousand thank youS to you my loves, and may Hygiea and Hippocrates smile on all of us. XO ETA: My kindle sucks! I have responded to each of you, but it did not post properly.

 

 

Edited by Rose Blackthorn
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Rose, it's at times like these that the distance really sucks. I wished I could have come with you to this appointment. I know you have several awesome leads from people already (the allergy product, the naturopath, more tests), so I will simply add that I resolved long-standing ringing and weird echos and loss of clarity in my ears after an old car accident with a craniosacral therapist (they adjust the bones and ligaments and muscles associated with the skull, jaw, ear). Hopefully one of these tips or a combo of tips will help you.

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So sorry to hear about your troubles Rose. I have reached the point where I refuse to deal with male doctors, because in my experience (and that of many others) so many of them simply will not listen to their patients. And to be honest, a lot of them don't seem to give a crap. Not to mention the perverts (of which there are quite a few). When you have to deal with a specialist though you don't often get to choose the sex of your Dr., unfortunately. I hope you can make him hear you when you communicate with him again.

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Rose, so sorry to hear this. I am so upset and frustrated for you. It's just not fair that you have to do all this work when it's their gig. And you and I've talked about some of the folks in the medical prof - there are good ones out there most definitely - but then there are just sorry ones that don't seem to care or treat the patient as a whole. I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. I won't offer up ideas as seems everyone has great ones that cover every spectrum.

 

Sad you are having to deal with all of this and hope you find your answers soon. I don't know how much help this general suggestion would be, but when I have sinus issues steam really helps out. I won't give TMI bc that would be gross, but I will say when I do Bikram (which is heated over 100 degrees and about 40% humidity), it's almost magical what it does for sinuses. I know Bikram isn't what you'd want - but if you have access to steam room (or like the idea and want to / could build one), great for sinuses and dry skin.

 

Hoping you find your answers soon. Remember that you are #1 and if they don't listen to you, you *will* find someone who does listen to you and provides care based on your feedback and information. Hugs to you and hope you feel better soon.

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Rose, it's at times like these that the distance really sucks. I wished I could have come with you to this appointment. I know you have several awesome leads from people already (the allergy product, the naturopath, more tests), so I will simply add that I resolved long-standing ringing and weird echos and loss of clarity in my ears after an old car accident with a craniosacral therapist (they adjust the bones and ligaments and muscles associated with the skull, jaw, ear). Hopefully one of these tips or a combo of tips will help you. Thanks androstenol. Craniosacral work is something I have felt drawn to for a long time. When I can afford it, it is something I would definitely love to try. I am open to most alternate treatments.

So sorry to hear about your troubles Rose. I have reached the point where I refuse to deal with male doctors, because in my experience (and that of many others) so many of them simply will not listen to their patients. And to be honest, a lot of them don't seem to give a crap. Not to mention the perverts (of which there are quite a few). When you have to deal with a specialist though you don't often get to choose the sex of your Dr., unfortunately. I hope you can make him hear you when you communicate with him again. Thanks vlad. To be honest, I have had a couple of really bad experiences with the women docs as well. I have not decided if I will be seeing this past guy again, since he told me to make an appt to come back when my hearing becomes bad enough for a hearing aid. No..I don't think I will be seeing him again. Bastard.

Rose, so sorry to hear this. I am so upset and frustrated for you. It's just not fair that you have to do all this work when it's their gig. And you and I've talked about some of the folks in the medical prof - there are good ones out there most definitely - but then there are just sorry ones that don't seem to care or treat the patient as a whole. I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. I won't offer up ideas as seems everyone has great ones that cover every spectrum.

 

Sad you are having to deal with all of this and hope you find your answers soon. I don't know how much help this general suggestion would be, but when I have sinus issues steam really helps out. I won't give TMI bc that would be gross, but I will say when I do Bikram (which is heated over 100 degrees and about 40% humidity), it's almost magical what it does for sinuses. I know Bikram isn't what you'd want - but if you have access to steam room (or like the idea and want to / could build one), great for sinuses and dry skin.

 

Hoping you find your answers soon. Remember that you are #1 and if they don't listen to you, you *will* find someone who does listen to you and provides care based on your feedback and information. Hugs to you and hope you feel better soon.

Thanks Beach Goddess. I will try again when I am up for the battle. It shouldn't be a fight, but it almost always is. ETA. Sorry for the way my replies in multiquote mode come out on my Kindle! Edited by Rose Blackthorn
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Rose,

 

I am so sorry that happened. I have had bad experiences with docs too. I am proud of you for taking care of yourself in spite of it all. I wish you could get a second opinion or another doc. You know your body. I am so pissed at him. I think he is an asshole!

 

If you have to deal with him...do you think you could have someone go with you...into the exam room even? I found that with my mom, docs are less likely to act like asses when there are another pair of eyes on them.

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Thanks so much Honeycake. I always bring my partner in with me to talk with these docs just to be sure I am not forgetting to mention anything. They seem to have no problems being assholes even with an audience! I will definitely try another doc, but going through the channels might take some time.

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