Hi Goddessinjapan,
This is actually my first time posting (but I'm a long time lurker). I felt compelled to respond, because I do have experience in this area.
The man I used to be involved with had a personality disorder. I discovered that things were dramatically better between us when I wore La Femme Mystere, or Cuddlebunny. It definitely brought out protective qualities in him, as well as his more gentle, sensitive side- he clearly was an est responder.
I'm sending many good thoughts to you; it's such a tough situation to deal with.