a few of my girlfriends know and Hunny Bunny. Of course Hunny Bunny was wondering why i use pheros. As he says "all u have to do is say the word, and I'm there and ready to go"
welcome here! I don't know about the personality disorder part but I will second getting the pheros for you. It is a lot harder to attack you if you are feeling on top of the world and in control. If he needs to feel non threatened i would try Teddy BB.
you might be sending to alpha a signal. I suggest something softer like using Lace but as QG said, ask him out. He may be shy but if he wants ya he will go out with you. have fun!