Cougarrific Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 About 6 months ago, a new coworker was introduced into our group -- she frustrates the living shit out of me bc she is rabidly competitive with me and seems to be on autopilot when it comes to throwing me under the bus to my boss and whomever else is in the room. Yes, right in front of me she will say things like, "Cougarrific doesn't make time for me to teach me what I need to know to do my job." (That is a direct quote, btw, her latest attempt to throw a shadow on me.). I am 20 years older than she is, I have a lot more professional experience than she does, I am really good at my job and I get along well with everyone in our group. I even get along with her -- bc I choose to get along, not bc she is easy to get along with! So, yes, I do think that she feels threatened, but I don't feel that it is logical for her to feel that way -- any comparisons between us are only in her own mind. No one expects her to have the skills I do at this time -- this is her first "real" job, so she' s definitely entry level (though she will not admit it -- except when she can try to blame her lack of skills on me, bc I haven't taught her something. Grrrr.) She will act as if we are bosom buddies whenever there is a third party witness, but when we are alone, she is a bitch. She also seems to be trying to train me to do her job for her, to pamper her and to walk on eggshells around her. She has HUGE (I mean HUGEHUGEHUGE) Daddy Issues, and is extremely flirtatious with all the men and acts all jealous if any of the guys show attention to any other woman except her. She is, to put it briefly, EXHAUSTING. I have considered phero-bombing her into submission with Dom or LFM, I have thought about trying Treasured Hearts (to soothe bristly females) and Heart and Soul for a "safe" and bonding kind of vibe. However, I do not wish to bond with her at all -- and I don't want her to feel bonded to me at all. I've been thinking that any of the feminine pheros will spur on her insecurity and competitiveness or encourage bonding (ugh) -- and I don't want to go to either of those places. Because of her Daddy Issues, I'm now considering trying a male phero blend like Teddy BB boosted into a feminine scent, like LP White. I'm thinking that if she stops seeing me as womanly competition, it would help calm her shit -- and also, if I have that alpha male at peace vibe as a cloud around me, she might actually start behaving herself. What do you think? I don't want to stir up more insecurity -- she is a conniving little thing, to be sure -- I just want the environment to be more cohesive and team-oriented. I did wear La Sylphide one day, and I was definitely the star of the show while out at lunch with a group, and she sat there picking at her food -- but she was extra-special mean later, almost as if she were punishing me. I want her to respond in a good way to the phero blends, not store up hurt feelings for later acting-out. That's why I'm wondering about the Teddy BB, if that will take the edge off her passive-aggression and encourage her to feel safe and well-behaved around me. Without encouraging any bonding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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