Cycle Kitten Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 (edited) The situation: The BF is depressive and anxiety prone, not very good with expressing what's going on in his head or heart. He often says stupid things and gets upset with me for things I simply do not understand. Trying to portray the specifics would require a novel. Last night I cried myself to sleep after a phone conversation, not having a clue what he was tripping on, and I'm leaving today to spend a few days with him. It will be months before I see him again and I have seriously considered not going, which will only make it worse and break my heart. Sigh, he just called, wondering when I'll be there, and it seems everything is fine, like nothing happened, this is normal. What I believe: He has some internal struggle dealing with his emotional attachment to me, he's been hurt, his self worth destroyed, and doesn't have much experience dealing with love. I'm the opposite of everything he knows, empathy, patience and love are my forte, not to sound weird about that. I think my experience with him has illuminated me to those qualities in myself. Loving someone who struggles with depression is a full time commitment. I'm already struggling with the knowledge that I won't see him for awhile. I really want him to open up and get whatever it is out in the open, for better or worse. It's been years and we both need to come to terms with whatever it is that's ailing him, at least in terms of "us". The constant struggle between him pushing me away one minute and having a death grip on me the next is wearing me thin. I can't risk anything with A1 in it, if anyone has a suggestion on a blend that could help him communicate and deal with his emotions I'm all ears. I've spent hours/days reading review threads, I guess I'm hoping that someone has experience with similar circumstances and could provide some helpful insight. If we part at some point I'd rather not have a bunch of unsaid things that should have been addressed, and I really want him to be better for our time together, not further damaged. Edited June 22, 2016 by Cycle Kitten Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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