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Last ditch attempt Please Help


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I need help. This is my last ditch attempt to try to fix my marriage. My husband claims to love  me but hes a real jerk. We've gone to marriage counseling and our therapist agrees that hes just stuck in his mean ways. Hes rude and selfish. But hes a good father. And loyal. Very loyal. But doesn't trust me even though I've done nothing. His pain stems from previous relationships. We have 2 toddlers age 2 and 4. The last 2 years our sex life has gone downhill. Badly. I am also still nursing the 2 year old.


I need a phero that will increase his libido while also making him more open and trusting. AND NICER TO ME. And even though I plan on applying after my girls are asleep I'm wondering if it will affect them or the one who is still nursing. 


Do I need to wash it off after sex? How long does it take for pheros to fade from skin? Will it affect my milk production?

Im willing to buy different pheros to get different results. 

1 for sex (I mean I want one that is going to drive him insane) 

1 to make him nicer to me

Or a safe combo for both.

1 to relax me at other times so I'm not always upset

1 to help milk production if one exists

All need to not have affect kids or milk or baby girl. Or if they do let me know so im not using it around kids.

Thanks everyone! Hoping this will save us. 

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Hmmm. Depends on the guy. I'm sure with the babies and nursing you've got plenty of natural EST happening. Did he use to be what you wanted or was he always a jerk?   


Some guys are not into EST. Maybe you need a more alpha signature like Leather? Anything with cops can up his sex drive. If he wants sex, he'll be nicer. For just connecting, try Open Windows. And maybe a touch of DHEAS.


Regarding helping you relax, try B2.2 or Balm Bomb. It will help a lot.


But my question is, besides the kids, is there a good reason to stay with a man who's a jerk, stuck in his ways, rude and mean? I know we all try to stay with these biodads because of the kids, but why teach your kids to settle for just an "okay" marriage?  I bet you could do much better.

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Hi thank you. No he wasn't always totally this way. Seemed to get worse after baby #1. We felt we were soulmates. Therapist thinks he has major fear after falling deeply in love with each other. Fear intensified with his love for his children. Basically more to lose. 


What is EST? And when you say he isn't into it what do you mean? Is it something I can change?

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Well, it's found in pregnant women's urine and effects different men in different ways. If he was awesome before you got pregnant and is a jerk now, it could be involved here. However, my kids' dad was once awesome and he's became a total wet blanket, and he responds well to EST. There's a ton of great info on all pheros on this forum, I suggest that you read these threads, and then read some more threads on pheros that interest you personally. Then you can buy a few pherotines and test them on him.


EST sensitive men


Let's Talk EST!! ^_^


Est Responders?



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I feel for you. Do the two of you do anything special - not sex- together? like a hobby ? play cards, cook? music ?

knew about a similar situation - the dad was jealous of the kids but at the same time didn't want to interfer with the nursing and mom time.  he just kept doing and saying stuff that wound up ruining the relationship  


how about some La Femme Mystere  or Levatation -  for everyday , I gave my sister Open windows and cougar they worked pretty well


sexpionage  or La femme Noire  for sex


maybe some TMI to find out what is on his mind 


There is a saying - Fear makes you dumb - Love makes you smart  I have found this to be very true 

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  • 1 month later...

Honey......SO MUCH I could say here!  I don't want to come off as pushy, but let's just say I have been around the block.  A LOT.  SEVERAL TIMES!  Three marriages, 3 divorces, some short-term, some long-term relationships.  

If you think he is "loyal", but he is constantly questioning you, and doesn't trust you, chances are that he may be projecting what he is doing onto you....KWIM?  I had one husband (the father to my only child), who I thought was fiercely loyal.  But he was always questioning me, thinking I was cheating (which I never was)......turns out he was cheating with MULTIPLE women from the time we started dating.  AAAAND after we were married.


If you want to discuss pheros, my last ex of 11.5 years was really bad when Est was ever around.....that was, I surmised, because he was NEVER happy when his ex-wife was pregnant.  They were in turmoil, so EST to his senses read "turmoil and unhappiness".  That could be why YOUR relationship started to go downhill after the pregnancy. 



Now, some TRUTH!  I agree with Eastwood!  Why stay with this jerk?  If he is a good Dad, he can be a good Dad in a co-parenting situation.  You don't have to stay in a relationship with someone who treats you badly!  There is so much more to life than unhappiness!  Think about it sweetie!!



Edited by Dolly
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  • 6 months later...

Thanks all. Its been crazy with this pandemic. You all made a lot of sense. The issue is that neither my husband or I are in a financial position to leave the relationship. There is no family, friends or anyone who can help me financially to get away. Everyone I know and love is struggling financially even before this pandemic. I wasn't born to a wealthy mother or have people I can move in with. People I know and love live in apartments as well as my mom so I cant live with them. Most important too is that my daughter is special needs. So I can't just go anywhere. So sometimes its not that a woman is weak or passively putting up with poor behavior its simply that she doesn't have the means or places to go in order to leave the relationship. And that is my case. I'm strong but I have no where to go nor the finances to go anywhere. The pandemic hasn't helped. So I was looking for a solution to help us to see if it might work. I finally these many months later bought my first 2 blends. I am nervous but hopeful. It might not work but hey theres a chance and im willing to try. After I was reading this message board months ago I started doing a little investigating on his behavior. When i wasn't around he was nice. Claims he loves me, wants me near him. When im near him hes so rude and irritable. Alternatively, when hes gone i feel stronger and feel less in a haze. When hes around I feel totally weak to his smell. I decided that he must have very strong natural pheromones of his own. i am embarrassed to admit that i enjoy smelling his armpits. And when I read up on that I realized I was being seduced by his pheromones. His smell puts me in this peaceful place. However my scent (before kids) seemed to make him ONLY want sex. Thats it. Pure lust. He never wanted to cuddle, never wanted to be affectionate. All he ever seemed to want was sex from me. And yes there were happy times but it seemed to mostly be about sex but he was also loyal. if that make sense. he was into me and loyal but just wanted sex. (I was naive and have since learned a lot about men) He was very animalistic in his way of having sex with me. Completely unable to make love or do anything... calm? Can't think of the word. it was like frantic sex. Like the moment he was near me he had to have it. Clearly that behavior led to children. And after the first child his attitude changed. So im thinking the pheromone thing must be strong for both of us. But where his pheromones make me feel peaceful, mine after children seem to irritate him. Which makes the est theory very plausible. Thank you for your kind words. They did help me. forgot to mention that i bought 10:31 - Pheromone Enhanced Perfume w/ Magnet and  02.20 ~ February 2020 ~ Unisex Phero Enhanced Fragrance. Both are free of EST.

Edited by NickGabryel
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@Eastwood22 I responded to everyone above but to you I ask can you recommend an EST blend to try with? i know he may be est sensitive but i want to buy one to test it myself. I mean is that the way to test it? How can i ultimately determine that yes he does not like the est I make. Do i need to douse myself in more est? I guess what I am asking is how do i UN est myself? How do i make my own est go away in order to see if his attitude changes. Is there any way to do that with pheros? Do i add est blend to see if he acts worse or do i hide my own est with cops pheros etc. Am i making sense? 

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7 hours ago, NickGabryel said:

I guess what I am asking is how do i UN est myself?

I don’t think that’s possible, but maybe others would have an idea for you. Don’t bother buying anything with EST just to check it, save your $ for phero’s that are helpful, unless your goal is to push him away.


8 hours ago, NickGabryel said:

when hes gone i feel stronger and feel less in a haze.

This seems like important information for you, does he ever go away for extended periods of time?


8 hours ago, NickGabryel said:

When hes around I feel totally weak to his smell. I decided that he must have very strong natural pheromones of his own. i am embarrassed to admit that i enjoy smelling his armpits.

But this! I highly recommend you get yourself some B2.2 just for yourself, you need to be able to calm yourself and just feel good without worrying about him. 

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