Advice for attracting dates in a close community? + Phero life story

[Virtue_Pony]

Hi Everyone! I've been snooping on the forum for a while over the past few years but was too shy to say hello haha I'm super nervous posting this!!

 

I went to an all-girls school, so even with graduating High school being about 8 years ago, I still have a tendency to see boys as magical shiny mysterious beings lol. I'm currently 25y/o and 6ft tall and I really like my body shape. In 2017 I bought a bottle of 1x EST and some OCCO white. I wore it to work in a supermarket hoping to get TG to make a move. I was OBSESSED with him haha. EVERY male coworker suddenly became super sweet, doting, forward and flirtatious EXCEPT TG who actively tried to get away from me. I later wore the combo on my first date with TG (I ended up asking him after about 3 months of crushing and flirting without the pheromones, his brother's GF told me he was a super shy guy and not very successful with the ladies lol). While walking me home he made a sexual suggestion that I felt was disrespectful and so out of the blue from the happy conversation we were having. As soon as he saw the look on my face he started screaming in pain while looking at the ground and I was like 😮!!! "OMG WHATS WRONG?!?!" and that's when he told me we were too different to keep dating while refusing to ever tell me why. For years I  wondered what  the hell happened but after reading more about what you guys have written on cops I think his pain of rejection and confusion b/c of my heavy cop signal might have been the major factor there.

 

Also in 2017 I wore the EST OCCO white combo to a church dance once. My guy friends who are the closet things I have to brothers suddenly started trying to get closer to me in a romantic sort of way. The dance chaperones were DIHL and flocked to me and I ended up getting the trophy for best dressed when I didn't even dress up to the theme! I just wore the same dress I wore to church every Sunday XD

 

I stopped using pheromones after the date incident with my once TG from 2017. But now I'm in a situation where I've moved location and am looking to date some guys in my congregation at church and hopefully eventually get married. A psychiatrist once told me not take the lack of guys asking us girls on dates as a sign that we are undesirable, but that it's more because of the small community and marriage pressure at our age and ALL the girls being so unique and awesome. The guys are too afraid to act incase an invitation on a date is taken as a sign he wants to get married to the girl ruining his chances with the other girls. So all of us are just kinda... not dating... flirting, but not dating... Or the girls are asking the guys out and then the guys act super confident and pursue none of them... 

 

I'm looking to see if apart from enhancing my physical appearance and overall life excitement, some pheromones might help guys care more about dating me than the possible social limitations attached to dating that I earlier described.

 

When I first revisited this place again with my new agenda after forgetting about pheromones in 2017 I thought "OMG I NEED MORE SEX APPEAL TO MAKE THE IDEA OF DATING ME MORE PLEASURABLE THAN NOT DATING ME!" And thought I should go head-first into church activities (dodgeball, boardgames, potluck etc) with Blatant invitation haha...

But now I'm thinking that more of LFM or Popularity Potion or Lumina... maybe with a little bit of BBM if I feel I really need it... I do want to broadcast high value as a sexual partner with and that the intimacy under the proper circumstances would be mind-blowing. However I do not want to broadcast that I'm super promiscuous and desperately horny for every guy in the room right now because I feel that would work against my goals of furthering any relationship I might want to develop.

 

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Any advice as to what blends might work best in this scenario??

You guys are awesome!

VP

Edited June 15, 2020 by Virtue_Pony

[raydee8_love]

great post  - OCCO save it for later -   

Church: I recommend LFM and/or OW and/or  treasured Hearts. -  and yes to attendance!!!!!  go to anything and everything offered - even if the old ladies just see you at a meeting they may know of some connection that would be good

 

for guys to approach they need a signal that is - "" I will not laugh in your face , rip your heart out, humiliate you, and force you to never speak again""

a once read a man would rather take a swing at the biggest guy at a bar  than to face rejection from a woman - don't know if that is true but.....

 

say hello to everyone and smile - everyone from the wizened old folks to the smallest 3 yr old   

 

gets easier with practice  

 

[Eastwood22]

Oh wow @Virtue_Pony, the first story with that boy sounds really painful! It also sounds like there’s a reason he wasn’t very lucky with the ladies. Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one! A healthy man doesn’t scream in pain at the first sign of sexual rejection (unless you kick them.) It’s just part of being male, they normally just try to read the room and try again later if it seems appropriate. 

I think, under the circumstances, you need something to make you seem more approachable, so I would suggest Lumina or Popularity Potion. LFM is great but I don’t think admiration from the other side of the room is what you want, you want men to be comfortable around you. 

3 hours ago, raydee8_love said:

for guys to approach they need a signal that is - "" I will not laugh in your face , rip your heart out, humiliate you, and force you to never speak again""

a once read a man would rather take a swing at the biggest guy at a bar  than to face rejection from a woman - don't know if that is true but.....

This is great advice. You need to seem calm and approachable. Men are always on the hunt. Also consider your own comfort with yourself in each situation, a blend that helps keep you calm wouldn't be a bad idea. Let them come to you and then you can slowly transition to something more sexual after you make a connection. If there is a lot of pressure to marry, these guys might not be looking for the sexiest woman in the room!  

[Eggers]

Yikes! Definitely sounds like you dodged a bullet with that first fella! 

 

Personally, I'd shy away from LFM too. It tends to make people "admire me from afar", like Eastwood says. 

 

Popularity Potion and Lumina are both good picks for your situation. Some others you might want to consider are Lace, Heart and Soul, and my favourite for almost every situation, Open Windows. 

 

Lace, because it gives off a happy, approachable vibe. Plus, the slight giddiness it can induce in the wearer might help bring a more playful feeling to situations, rather than a "dating = marriage proposal" thing. Maybe a good pick for games nights. 

 

Heart and Soul because it makes people want to know all about you, and it gives the wearer a good-natured "sweetheart" vibe. It's friendly and sweet as opposed to overtly sexual, but can be made more sexual with a small addition of cops, should the occasion call for it.

 

Open Windows is one that I suggest for most occasions. It's got a way of boosting not just the mood of the wearer, but the mood of those in your "cloud", too. People feel good around you. It also gives a boost in confidence, as well as a boost of charisma - both very attractive traits. 

 

[Virtue_Pony]

Thank you so much for your support everyone!! ❤️

[raydee8_love]

20 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Let them come to you and then you can slowly transition to something more sexual after you make a connection. If there is a lot of pressure to marry, these guys might not be looking for the sexiest woman in the room!  

 this is an excellent point  Eastwood  i have to agree  with you 

i think with groups that expect marriage in the community,  (especially closed groups)   often  issues of lifestyle  are similar - compatibility  is highest on the list  and that is really important for you too!!  are you a matched set? the cup & saucer,. 

and is he worthy of you??  could you live day to day with him??

[Eastwood22]

I second everything @Eggers says about Open Windows and Heart and Soul.

[quietguy]

I am not going to make phero recommendations but I think you and the ladies have sorted out which pheromones to use (ie not OCCO up front lol) to send out the right signals to draw in the right guys for the right purpose. As in "I am a high value but approachable young lady interested in a high value guy for potential long term relationship".

Remember you are high value so don't put up with "less". Set your standards and boundaries and make them respect both. Sorry - that's the "dad with daughters" in me coming out lol. Dad TED Talk over haha! 
 

I think the approachable vibe is key when you combine your height - taller than most guys - with the psychology you see in play: a combination of its easier to have someone throw a punch at you that to get rejected in front of your friends PLUS what seems to be the pressure to dive straight into serious courting in your community - well - it just makes the friendly, approachable phero vibe work more in your favor IMO. 

If it is any consolation, a lot of guys make make the same mistake - they try to "brute force" the attraction with sexual pheros, go too heavy on application, then just scare off the TG.