Please help me make a good choice

[RosesArePink]

Hello wise people of this forum! I am new here and could use some help with a situation. This could be a bit long...

 

So, some back ground information first. There is this guy who I really, really like. Let's call him Mr. Wonderful. We are working on a professional project together and so I usually get to see him alone about once a month. We normally have a nice time together – some joking and maybe a little flirty.

 

About two weeks ago, we were talking on the phone, all business oriented, but I managed to tell him that in a few days I would be in his building for a reason other than visiting him. I told him the day and reason, but not the time when I would be there. Well, he showed up!!! And even though we didn't talk very long, he was very sweet and kept smiling at me and we had nice eye contact. He asked how it went and he warmly told me with a big smile that he thought I had a great idea. The best part though was when he turned to leave – he turned back to look at me and seemed really happy that I was still looking at him and he gave me a big huge warm smile.

 

Well, I really thought he was showing interest and that he liked me. I really thought maybe he would even ask me out the next time I saw him. Maybe this was a mistake, but I wore some Perfect Match (two drops, one on my chest and one split between my wrists) and a little Open Window at the same spots (along with some Pure Sugar as a cover scent). I like wearing Open Window more for the self effects – it helps to make me a little more out going as I'm normally a very shy person. Also hoped that it with the Perfect Match would help to keep Mr. Wonderful feeling comfortable.

 

So the results were not what I expected. While I believe the Perfect Match “worked” in the sense that we had a very deep and meaningful conversation about our project. He was very open about his feelings about the project with phrases like “I would feel better if you would do X” and how important he feels it is to do certain things. Definitely had an emphasis on the “feel” part. But...he was different at this meeting, gone were the flirty elements and he in fact was making an effort to NOT joke with me. I tried a few jokes, and while he started to laugh, he quickly stifled his laughter. There was one point where he was leaning low against the table, looking up at me – his face not far from mine. He was just looking in my eyes with kind of a strange expression on his face. I'm not quite sure how to describe it. Maybe kind of like a deer in the headlight look, but maybe not quite. At the time I was asking him if I should reconsider a certain thing on the project – he seemed to react strangely to the word “reconsider”. Again, I'm not really sure how to read some of his reactions.

 

Also, I had the impression that something happened in his life since the last time I saw him, but I do not know anything and he didn't talk about it. Or maybe his professionalism kicked in and he thinks it's inappropriate to date me. I don't know.

 

He did ask me to come back in two weeks instead of the normal month, but that was probably mostly because of an upcoming deadline than anything to do with me. After this next visit, I'm not really sure when I'll see him again. It could be a couple of weeks or a couple of months.

 

So, my question is which pheromones should I use for the next visit??? I'm half tempted to use TMI to see if I can get him to spill his beans. I really need to understand what is going on, because right now I am very confused by him.

 

Stick with Perfect Match/Open Windows? Try Gotcha? Cuddlybear? Or TMI to try to get him to talk about more personal things? Or something else? I don't think a highly sexual blend is the way to go – I'm pretty sure that would shut him down completely. Any other advice or ideas???

[Eastwood22]

Hmmm, not sure, but my guess is that he’s developing feelings for you and now he’s trying very hard to remain professional. This happens sometimes, I’m sure you know, when you start to have feelings for someone you pull back and act like they’re invisible? Or if it’s a party, hug every single person in the room EXCEPT that one person? 
Do not go sexual phero, it’s still work, right? And if he’s a keeper you don’t want to come off as a non-challenge. Never forget that most people want to work for it! I’d say just go back to simply Open Windows. Maybe the PM made him feel overwhelmed? Remember that some of us are super sensitive. Gotcha and TMI might get YOU talking too much, be especially careful with TMI. I have gone so far as to roll it on a leather chair that someone else was going to be sitting in! 
Would it be appropriate to suggest a celebratory coffee for when this deadline is met? I wouldn’t suggest drinks since you are so attracted, maybe coffee and then you could try the OW/PM combo. 

[RosesArePink]

Thank you, Eastwood22! I think you are definitely right about not going with a sexual mix - it is indeed a professional work environment and I agree that it would probably overwhelm him.

 

Maybe the PM overwhelmed him....though in thinking about it, it did create a nice trusting vibe and in a lot of ways he was more open with me. I personally rather liked the effects - even if it didn’t work to get a date out of him!

 

Hmm...what about something like Treasured Hearts or Heart and Soul? Do you think either of those would be too much?

 

My impression of what’s going on is the same - that maybe he’s developing feelings & trying to hide them. But since I have feelings for him, I’m always afraid that I’m just seeing what I want to see.

 

Well, I’ll stay away from the TMI for now - definitely sounds potentially dangerous for me to use in this situation - I don’t need to be spilling everything out to him at this point. That would probably scare him for sure! Ha! Rolling TMI on a chair! Sounds like there is an interesting story there!

 

No, I don’t think I can ask him to go for a celebrity coffee - I ‘m pretty sure he wouldn’t accept. Though, maybe if I could get other people to go he might feel more comfortable.

[Eastwood22]

1 hour ago, RosesArePink said:

I don’t think I can ask him to go for a celebrity coffee - I ‘m pretty sure he wouldn’t accept. Though, maybe if I could get other people to go he might feel more comfortable.

Why? Would it be that weird? Are there no coffee shops in the immediate vicinity?You couldn’t drop, “I’m so glad this project is complete! I want to get a coffee before we start the next one!” 
(I dunno, I’m a yoga teacher. All I know about office life is from the tv show The Office and also the movie Office Space.)

Maybe you need to ask everyone around him to go if it couldn’t be just the two of you. 
 

I think you should stick to OW, but TH could also be perfect, as it does seem to calm people down a bit. 
 

TMI on chair story here

[hedgehog]

Haha @Eastwood22, love your story!  Makes me think of the OCCO tagline  - "Covert Ops!" 

 

I agree with Eastwood here...the PM seems to have made him think little bit more seriously about your relationship.  It might even have spooked him a bit, like "Oh no, I think I might really like her... but we work together! 😳" I like the idea of sticking to OW (or TH - whatever you usually wear and he's used to as your "signature") and keeping it light and friendly until he gets more comfortable and processes his feelings, then hitting him with the PM again, and cycling back to OW as needed.  Inviting him and a few colleagues to coffee should help increase his comfort level and trust with you, which will hopefully make him a little less guarded. 

 

I'm generally of the opinion that that if he really likes you, he'll pursue you, but I might be a bit old fashioned on that front. 

[Eastwood22]

5 hours ago, hedgehog said:

I'm generally of the opinion that that if he really likes you, he'll pursue you

I’m with @hedgehog on this, men do the pursuing in general, but we are in a place where men are becoming hyper-aware of how men have used their power in professional workplaces I’m the past to exploit women sexually, and if he does have interest in you, he could be terrified of blowing it. I think giving him a little indication that it’s safe to pursue you might be okay.

[RosesArePink]

17 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Why? Would it be that weird? Are there no coffee shops in the immediate vicinity?You couldn’t drop, “I’m so glad this project is complete! I want to get a coffee before we start the next one!” 
(I dunno, I’m a yoga teacher. All I know about office life is from the tv show The Office and also the movie Office Space.)

Maybe you need to ask everyone around him to go if it couldn’t be just the two of you. 
 

I think you should stick to OW, but TH could also be perfect, as it does seem to calm people down a bit. 
 

TMI on chair story here

 

 

Heh, loved the TMI chair story! Actually all of the stories on that thread were interesting and certainly prove the power of pheromones!

 

Yeah, unfortunately there aren’t any nearby coffee shops or restaurants nearby. Even if he wanted to go get coffee with me, I just can’t see him disappearing from work for that long. He is a busy guy at work. 

 

Oof - we were both invited to a small lunch gathering next week for a coworker, but unfortunately he is not going because he is scheduled for an off site training class that day. That’s disappointing - that could have been a nice opportunity to spent more time with him.

 

10 hours ago, hedgehog said:

I'm generally of the opinion that that if he really likes you, he'll pursue you, but I might be a bit old fashioned on that front. 

 

Yes, I also agree with this - at least it matches my past experience. If the guy isn’t pursuing, it generally means he just not that interested in you.

 

Well, I’m pretty sure he has figured out that I like him. When he showed up unexpectedly at my event and with him being so nice & smiley with me, I let my guard down and let my feelings show. This also might have also contributed to him being more reserved or spooked (in addition to the double whammy of the PM) at our last meeting. I feel like he went into the meeting already with the intent to tone it down or take a step back.

 

Okay, normally I don’t wear any pheromones when I see him. So, it sounds like you both think Open Windows or maybe Treasured Hearts is the way to go. I don’t actually have TH, so I’ll either have to buy some or just stick with OW. I’m going to read up some more on TH and think about what to do.

 

Thank you both for your help! You both are seem very knowledgeable about the pheromone mixes and skilled with understanding relationships! I still have about a week and a half until I see him again.

[RosesArePink]

So, after reading more about Treasured Hearts, I pulled out the old trusty credit card and ordered a bottle (even though I had just put an order in the other day for a full bottle of Open Window). TH could the right way to go. Hopefully it will at least help to create a trusting, bonding vibe.

 

[raydee8_love]

You will be happy with TH works well in many situations - 

[Eastwood22]

Here’s an old thread with opinions on nuances.
Treasured hearts vs open windows vs heart and soul

 

ETA- TH isn’t thought of as a smelly or hard to cover blend, but I find it quite strong when still wet. Make sure it’s plenty dry before you make your approach! 

Edited July 13, 2021 by Eastwood22

[RosesArePink]

4 hours ago, raydee8_love said:

You will be happy with TH works well in many situations - 

'

 

I hope so! I’m hoping to get it soon so I can do some testing with it before I see Mr Wonderful again. I really liked the deep bonding & communication effect that Perfect Match had. It’s a shame that it spooked him.

 

 

2 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Here’s an old thread with opinions on nuances.
Treasured hearts vs open windows vs heart and soul

 

ETA- TH isn’t thought of as a smelly or hard to cover blend, but I find it quite strong when still wet. Make sure it’s plenty dry before you make your approach! 

 

 

Thanks, Eastwood22! I will have to do some reading.

 

Oddly enough, I just tried out some Heart & Soul today. I had to take my sick cat to a specialist, so it was with a vet I had never met before and who I probably won’t see again. It was considerably more subtle than PM, but then I wasn’t using it with anyone I already had any type of relationship with and I think I went with a light application. The vet was super sweet with me and my cat, but that could have just been his personality. His (female) assistant kept looking at me kind of like she was infatuated with me. I did not get the same deep bonding & communication that PM gave me with Mr. Wonderful, but I can see that H&S has a place. Oh, it also made me a little more emotional or maybe feeling vulnerable. I‘ll have to experiment more with it to get a better feel for it.

[RosesArePink]

So, I experimented again with the Heart & Soul at last week’s work lunch.  I would have used Treasured Hearts, but it had not yet arrived. As expected, Mr. Wonderful did not show up. I am pretty happy with the effects that I got with H&S - everyone at the lunch seemed to be having a great time. People were very chatty and open - there was some light hearted office gossip going on, which I found interesting since usually people are a bit more guarded with their gossip. One of the new hires kept looking over at me with kind of an awed look similar to the way the vet’s assistant had looked at me. Also, one very gruff and abrasive male coworker was extremely nice to me - He is never that nice! And one of my other coworkers insisted on helping move some boxes and was really sweet about it. Normally I would have to beg him to help me. H&S seems to be a great social to wear to a party/event. I didn’t get the same self effects that I get from Open Windows though. Open Windows always makes me feel happy, open and maybe a little giddy. H&S made me feel content and happy to watch everyone else have a nice time - not a bad thing, just different.

 

The Treasured Hearts arrived that evening, so I gave it a try this weekend when I went out shopping at the mall. Probably not the best test as I didn’t really speak to anyone except for sales clerks. I didn’t notice any thing unusual in the way anyone treated me. The thing was I had the self effect of feeling really depressed after wearing it for a while. I may have used too much or maybe it just amplified my already sad feelings into depression.

 

So, I tried TH again last night at a networking event. I used less and thankfully this time it did not cause depression. Several people who I have not seen in a long time all told me that I looked great and they stuck around to have nice conversations with me. That was quite pleasant. Also, my former crush was there - let’s call him Mr. Confused. He is always nice to me and talks with me when I see him, but I guess I got “friend zoned” with him some time ago. Anyway, he came over to talk with (as he normally would), but he seemed a little more attentive than normal. Anyway, not holding my breathe on him! The effects for TH were nice, but maybe subtle.

 

So, tomorrow is the day that I see Mr. Wonderful again. I am still debating whether I should use Open Windows or Treasured Hearts. They each have their advantages. The main thing I want out of this meeting is for Mr. Wonderful to feel comfortable with me and to not be spooked. I’m leaning towards Open Windows since it seems to also help me to stay more relaxed & open. Also I don’t feel like I’ve tested TH enough to fully understand it’s effects.

 

 I’m pretty sure that Mr. Wonderful will have to ask me to visit him again in two weeks (due to some project related issues), so hopefully I can try Perfect Match with him then - depending on how tomorrow’s meeting goes, of course. I totally love Perfect Match!

[RosesArePink]

So, just to follow up in case anyone is reading this, I went with Open Windows for my meeting with Mr. Wonderful. The meeting went well - there was not any awkwardness or stress or uneasiness (as I feared there might be). He was extremely attentive and kind to me. Also, lots of eye contact and quite a bit of emotion in his eyes, but I can’t say exactly what was going on in his head. He seemed at times like he was still under the influence of the Perfect Match. Can PM do that? Does it have a carryover effect? Or did that one dose cause some imprinting to happen?

 

At one point when he was handing me a file, his hand gently brushed mine. I hope that is a good sign! So, we still only talked about the project and still no date. But, at one point, he carefully looked down and said that we were at a point in the project where we could extend the time between meetings to two months instead of once a month. In a very clear, careful and neutral tone (with his head down so I couldn’t see his face or his reactions) he said that it was up to me to decide when we should meet again - either in one month or two months (in the past he was always the one deciding when we would meet again). He said he was okay with whichever I decided. Well, of course I said one month! Silly. He keep his head down and said in the same neutral tone, “I do not want to feel like I am forcing you to come so often.”  At the end of the meeting, he was again looking in my eyes and he said that if I  need anything I should call him and he would do whatever I need (I am assuming he means project related, but still...).

 

So, next month, I ‘m going to try Perfect Match again. 

Edited July 23, 2021 by RosesArePink

[Eastwood22]

Hi! Been keeping up with your story!

 

Regarding the TH and feeling sad-

On 7/20/2021 at 6:59 AM, RosesArePink said:

Probably not the best test as I didn’t really speak to anyone except for sales clerks. I didn’t notice any thing unusual in the way anyone treated me. The thing was I had the self effect of feeling really depressed after wearing it for a while. I may have used too much or maybe it just amplified my already sad feelings into depression.

This makes sense to me as it is about connection, and if there's no one to connect with, you'd feel more alone. I think I've also experienced this.

 

4 hours ago, RosesArePink said:

He seemed at times like he was still under the influence of the Perfect Match. Can PM do that? Does it have a carryover effect? Or did that one dose cause some imprinting to happen?

 

Could be a kind of imprinting, or just his feelings about you are having a carryover effect!

 

4 hours ago, RosesArePink said:

In a very clear, careful and neutral tone (with his head down so I couldn’t see his face or his reactions)

Ha! He's sprung. I'm glad you said a month. Keep us updated!

[RosesArePink]

14 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

Hi! Been keeping up with your story!

 

 

 

🙂 Oh, that’s very sweet!

 

 

14 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

 

Regarding the TH and feeling sad-

This makes sense to me as it is about connection, and if there's no one to connect with, you'd feel more alone. I think I've also experienced this.

 

 

 

Aaah, that makes A LOT of sense! I ‘ll have to remember to only wear it when I know I’m going to be around people.

 

 

14 hours ago, Eastwood22 said:

 

Ha! He's sprung. I'm glad you said a month. Keep us updated!

 

I think I like the sound of that! I sure hope he’s sprung!  Well the hard part is going to be waiting a month. Wish I could see him more often to speed this up a bit.

 

 

I will definitely keep posting updates here - I’m always wondering when I read old posts to what ended up happening. Since I have a month until I see him, I plan to continue to experiment with TH and H&S and maybe a few others, so I also post some of those experiments as well.

 

 

Edited July 23, 2021 by RosesArePink

[RosesArePink]

So, still two more weeks until I see Mr. Wonderful again. In the meantime, to keep myself distracted and entertained, I have been experimenting with H&S and OW.

 

Last week, I wore H&S to another work event. That particular day, I had dropped off my car before work at my local auto shop - I have been going there for years, so I stopped to talk to the shop manager and he promised to have the car ready when I finished work. Well, when I got there after work, the car was ready, but he told me he was throwing in a bunch of freebies: a free oil change, free new windshield wipers, and he readjusted my brakes for free! 🤔 I’m not saying it was the H&S, but it does make me wonder! 

 

I also wore OW with my brother & his wife. We always get along just fine, but we had an extra nice time together and spent the day at a museum just having fun. 

 

 

[dolphindolls2]

On 7/11/2021 at 8:25 PM, RosesArePink said:

So, after reading more about Treasured Hearts, I pulled out the old trusty credit card and ordered a bottle (even though I had just put an order in the other day for a full bottle of Open Window). TH could the right way to go. Hopefully it will at least help to create a trusting, bonding vibe.

 

Treasured Hearts is my go to. I use it for business meetings and it helps to open up communications and it's just an all around good one to have in your arsenal. 

[RosesArePink]

Thanks, Dolphindolls2! You reminded me that I need to experiment with TH some more.  I liked how it worked at last week’s networking event. Definitely need to play with this one some more!

[RosesArePink]

Only a couple more days until I see Mr. Wonderful - I see him on Wednesday. But, my organization is now requiring everyone to wear masks again. I hope that masks won’t interfere too much with the pheromones!

 

I think I am just going with PM and not use OW with it. Last time I used two drops, but I might try three this time (just worried about the masks). And trying to decide on a perfume. I just realized I have no idea what types of scents he likes. I would hate to use something only to find he hates that scent! I’m leaning toward either LP Pink or Platelet Punch as both seem to be fairly safe scent wise.

 

So last week I played around with TH. I like it a lot. Everyone was really nice to me and friendly (Though, I should note, the area I live in was hit hard by COVID in the early days of the pandemic and I have found even without pheromones most people are much nicer to other people than in the past). So, unlike with H&S, people were not overly chatty but instead lead to meaningful conversations. Also I did not notice people giving me the infatuated look like with H&S. There is a time place for that,  but sometimes that’s just not what I ‘m looking for.

[RosesArePink]

So...the long awaited day has finally arrived and I got to see Mr. Wonderful! Overall, it was a nice meeting and I shouldn’t have anything to complain about - though it was still mostly only work discussions and still no date. 

 

I used three drops of PM and no OW with LP Pink as a cover scent (must buy a full bottle of Pink some day...). I think the three drops maybe was too many and next month I should drop back down to two and maybe should go back to using OW with it...or maybe just OW...or maybe switch up with a different pheromone? I will say, PM was doing a number on me... I’m pretty sure I was looking at him with a deer in the headlights look! I felt like I was swooning over him...I already have pretty deep feelings for this guy, but it seemed even more so this time around 🥰 - I just had to keep looking at him and I just wanted to reach out and touch him. Which of course I didn’t, but sure wanted to! And I felt a bit slow in reading him (which is never that easy for me anyway) and slow with reacting to him and I felt a bit scattered...maybe like a love sick seventh grader...🤪

 

I’m not completely sure what PM was doing to him - for the first part of the meeting he seemed like he was hiding his face again in a file and not looking at me. I was kind of disappointed that he wasn’t paying more attention to me, but - forgive me, I couldn’t help but to notice - I think he may have been having a...er...let’s say, physical reaction that he was trying to handle. He warmed up later in the meeting and seemed to be in good, happy mood and was joking with me a little. I was teasing him about something nice he had said - I told him he probably says that to everyone. He looked down and in a more serious tone he said that if he says something, he means it and that he doesn’t like to lie.

 

He also wanted to make sure that I was still planning on coming back next month - which I am. He gave a a very warm, big smile with those beautiful twinkling eyes of his and happily told me to have a good rest of the day and that he would see me next month.

 

So now it’s back to waiting for yet another month to pass. 😐 I am not sure how much longer I can go like this. Waiting a month between seeing him is kind of torturous for me. And it’s not like we even get to spend that much time together when I do see him...I really just want to be able to spend more time with him.

 

[Eve]

@RosesArePink  Hi 🙂. We’ve not interacted before, but I just read your thread, and wanted to chime in. 
 

I am no expert on pheromones, if you’ve read many of my posts you probably already know that. But, I’ve been around in life for a long time, and I’m pretty good at reading people, especially men.
 

 I’m not so sure that continuing with the communication/ relationship/bonding type pheromones are the best way for you to go.
 

Of course you can’t wear anything to blatantly sexual in a work environment, but you can still emphasize the female aspect of your being. 
 

Up to now, it sounds like you’ve been using various pheros in oil, and, you’ve mentioned how careful you’ve been to not over apply.  
 

What about kicking it up a notch?  Men (typically) are attracted to women that take a little work to be able spend time with. Not so much an a unattainable aura, but an air that you’re confident (even though you’re shy, the two aren’t necessarily incompatible. ) You can be shy in public situations, or new relationships, but yet comfortable in what makes you a unique individual.  A pheromone that increases the perception that you in particular are not only those things, but also sexually appealing.  
 

Sometimes shy people come off as aloof, so I don’t know that La Femme Mystere is the best option. But I wouldn’t totally disregard it. 
 

So, depending on your personality, Lumina (my first choice in your situation) Charisma, and Classy Dame,  possibly La Femme Mystere would be great options. 
 

Also, using any phero in a spray version, rather than the oil, is going to be further reaching.  You’ll have more of it out there for his receptors to react to. I buy  (or mix at home) the 60%/40% formulation, rather than %100 alcohol, because it will last longer before evaporating, once applied. 
 

So, any phero that doesn’t contain copulins can be used as a spray, and can go in the hair (great diffuser!) and clothing. 
 

Then sparingly add some copulins (in oil, not a spray) on some of the warmer spots on your body.  Between the girls, small of back, crook of the arm, etc.  Subtle but present. Never in your hair, or up near your face, though. 
 

I think I probably wear an OCCO every single day. Not a lot, normally just a swipe between the boobs, inside of elbows.  If I intend to be sexy, I’ll add it more places. I’ve gone through so many bottle of OCCO White—I’ve lost count.  And, I like layering it with the OCCO Sandalwood.   

Anyway…  just putting it out there for you to consider, and for others here who are more knowledgeable than I, to weigh in on. 
 

PS,  love your forum name. I grow lots of pink roses. My fave. 
 

 

Edited August 20, 2021 by Eve

[RosesArePink]

Hi Eve! It’s nice to ‘meet’ you too. 😊 I hope to have a place where I can grow roses one day! 

 

You might be on to something here - your comments have certainly given me more to think about and a compelling alternative approach. The thing about this guy is that he has a very sparkly and a very good natured personality. He is quick to laugh and is just a lot of fun to be around. He is also quite confident and posed and very comfortable in his skin.  So, if I’m understanding you correctly, I need to be able to match him and catch his attention by giving off a sparkly, approachable, confident and maybe sensual femininity vibe? And with less shy/introverted-ness. 

 

 Just looked through the Lumina thread and it does sound like a vibe that he would find attractive. I’ve never tried a spray before and getting more of a phero-cloud out there also sounds like a good idea. 

 

Thanks for the cop tips - I was unsure about how to use them properly. I think I like the idea of trying some cops with him - I have a sample of Beth’s Blushing Milkmaid (Which smells great).

[Eve]

@RosesArePink, Yes, but only kind of.
 

 I don’t know that you need to match his level of confidence as far as being outwardly outgoing. But, yes, I think you need to own the confidence you have in yourself, and who you are inside.  In the balance of life, one type of personality trait has no more value than another as far as quiet vs outgoing, hesitant in new situations vs at ease. Neither is a character minus or plus. Some people just have to work harder at things that come easily to others. And there is at least a little truth to the saying that opposites attract. I’m not sure that holds for complete polar opposites though. 
 

We really are all unique in what makes us up. I’m a quiet person, I’m not loud or outgoing. But I’m not particularly shy. I was as a kid, though.  I remember one time when I was like 13, I called in to  radio station for a contest.   I was with some of my school friends at a pay phone. (way waaaaay before cell phones existed). Well, I got through!  And I was terrified.  I could not say a word. I handed the receiver to a friend.  Talk about embarrassment.  Somewhere along the path of life, the shyness vanished. But, I’ll never be the life of the party, nor would I want to be. 
 

Up to this point you’ve the evidence that the two of you can, and do, have a rapport.  You know you can communicate well on the professional side. You don’t know if you will communicate as well in relationship matters if the two of you were to form a personal, romantic relationship. How can you know?  It’s too early on. 
 

You don’t have a way of knowing if he’s commitment phobic, or, if he is in a personal relationship with someone else. If so, it could be because it would be inappropriate to bring up in the context of work. On the other hand,  If he IS  in a relationship, and does not work it into the general conversation over the time you’ve known him (and I mean in group settings) that is not a good sign. People in happy relationships tend to mention that person from time to time.  Not so much talk about them, but they exist. But then, I don’t know what those meeting are like, if they’re all down to business, or if personal talk is also included. 

Getting him to want to get to know you, and who you really are  is the key.  You get along.  You like each other. It’s time to see if he wants to make it happen. 
 

Yes to  to Lumina or Audacious. Charisma for Women too.  Even though I’m not a phero expert, these seems to fit the bill. I’ve never tried Audacious. 
 

You can look back through old threads. This forum used to be a lot more active than it currently is. I’d look closely at Lumina, and compare it with Audacious. Read about  Classy Dame This  used to be Super Sexy for Women., so read about this too. Cougar,  and Charisma for Women, read the thread for Popularity Potion too, because this became Charisma. I don’t think Lace, but read about it. Possibly La Femme Mystere, maybe not though.  
 

Levitation is a great one. I actually respond to it (I’m one of those people who experience little response to most). 

 

 

 

Edited August 24, 2021 by Eve
Clarification. Charisma for WOMEN (there is one for men, not appropriate for a female)

[Eve]

And yes, adding a sensual touch with the addition of an OCCO  or Blushing Mikmaid is something that will get his personal attention. Just wear a tiny bit. The younger you are, the less you should use.  These are some of the best supplies to have in your arsenal.  Like always. Never be without lol 

Edited August 22, 2021 by Eve

[RosesArePink]

@Eve Thank you for your wisdom. Again, you have given me a lot to think about.

 

Yes, you are right that I don’t know yet if we could build a successful romantic relationship or if he is a commitment phobic or already in a relationship or many other possibilities. If he can’t or doesn’t want to date me, I will be sad (probably really sad), but at least I will know that I gave it a chance & tried. 

 

 

7 hours ago, Eve said:

Getting him to want to get to know you, and who you really are  is the key.  You get along.  You like each other. It’s time to see if he wants to make it happen. 

 

 

Yes, this is the nitty-gritty of it. 

 

Thank you for the pheromone suggestions! I will read up on all of those. I have samples of LP Gold with Charisma & scented Cougar and freebie sniffies of Crystal Currants with Audacious & Rocket Fuel with Bang (which might not be appropriate- not sure). So, I guess I can at least distract myself with doing some testing/experiments...and lots of reading. I have not played with any of them yet.

 

😊 Cops! They sound awesome. 

 

Edited August 22, 2021 by RosesArePink

[Eve]

@RosesArePink  you’re very welcome 🙂. 
 

…. In reference to your reply, I want to clarify that I don’t think he is taken, or commitment phobic, etc, just that it would be good to know him better before you let yourself become even more smitten by him. Sometimes charming, witty guys (think  George Clooney) are the kind that  have little intention of entering serious relationships.  Not as a rule, but something still  to keep in mind. And even George succumbed after a while lol. 
 

Getting him to open up and talk about his personal life would be informative, of course.  OW, and especially TMI are for that purpose. But, getting him hooked to want more time with  you needs to happen.  
 

It’s great that you already have some samples that contain the phero blends we’ve been discussing. (BTW, Sneaky Clean has Lumina, it’s part of the permanent lineup at LPMP and I love it.)
 

It sounds like you respond to the pheromones you wear yourself. And that is very helpful, because you can wear the blend that will help you feel more confident.  
 

(cops ARE wonderful😎)

[RosesArePink]

@Eve 😊 It certainly would be nice to get to know him better and to get him talking! 

 

 I was reading the Sneaky Clean thread and it really sounds appealing! My guess is that Mr Wonderful would respond well to the clean type scents. And - maybe more importantly - I think I would like it. Also, Lumina also sounds great and I am strongly leaning toward using it at our next meeting. But definitely need to field test it first.

 

Today I tried LP Gold with Charisma at work (no cops though). I really do not like the scent - the patchouli was way, way too strong for me. I liked it in the vial, but not so much on me. So I only used a little bit and so maybe not the best test. Anyway, the area secretary (who is normally nice to everyone) was practically following me around and being extra helpful. Also, I ran into one of the assistant directors and he was all smiles today. Maybe the pheromone...or maybe not. I don’t think Charisma is available in any other scents right now though. I did feel a bit more upbeat and happy...especially for a Tuesday.

[Eve]

@RosesArePink I hoped Sneaky Clean would appeal to you.
 

It isn’t discussed much on the forum lately, so, possibly easy to overlook.  When I first discovered it,  I think the phero was  SS4W, but now it’s Lumina. I like to use the roll on oil up in my hair at the nape of my neck before I blow my hair dry…. inside elbows, at cleavage, other warm places.  I prefer it as a spray, but will sometimes double up with both formulations. The spray creates an immediate cloud of scent.  I've even spritzed it on our pillowcases occasionally.  It has staying power. 

Edited August 25, 2021 by Eve

[RosesArePink]

@Eve. Sneaky Clean sounds great! I’m going to give it a try. It looks like Lumina has couple of other scents that it’s in as well, but Sneaky Clean sounds like a good choice. 

 

 I tried the Crystal Currents with Audacious- the scent seemed a bit weak and didn’t stick around on my skin for long. Maybe I didn’t use enough.  Can’t say I had many self effects either. Only odd thing was I stopped after work to do an errand and the cashier at the store reacted really negatively to me. She was pretty hostile in fact. Not sure if it was a reaction to Audacious or if it was just her personality.

[RosesArePink]

So, I have been playing around with my sample of scented Cougar the past few days. It’s a very nice scent, but I really didn’t get any over the top “hits” with it like so many women in the review threads were reporting. For me, it felt a lot like Open Windows with a little more self confidence and a touch of the hip swing-y thing. I really did not notice anyone acting differently than if I had just worn Open Windows. Maybe it’s a dose issue- I only have a sample of it and in general I’m probably guilty of not using enough. Today I tried putting A LOT more on than normal. Still nothing too over the top though I was in a generally good mood & felt confident. I had a slight reaction from my eye doctor- he is in his early sixties, nice but married and not someone that I am interested in romantically. But towards the end of the appointment he seemed to be getting a little starry-eyed, happy and was joking/laughing with me. Nothing overly dramatic or over the top. 

 

I ordered Sneaky Clean in a spray and a pherotine of Lumina and a sample of Idyllwild with Classy Dame. So, I’m excited to get some new stuff to play with.  Until those arrive, I will keep playing with scented Cougar and LP Gold with  Charisma. Maybe I ‘ll even be brave enough to try Bang...

Edited September 1, 2021 by RosesArePink

[RosesArePink]

My order came last week - Sneaky Clean, scent wise at least, is everything I hoped it would be and more. So I have been testing it (and Lumina) out this week. I wore just one spray over the weekend - just mostly at home and running a few errands. For self effects, it reminded me of Open Windows - put me in a very good mood. But also felt different than Open Windows...idk...maybe more confidence?

 

I tried it at work a couple of days this week - With two sprays. I can’t say that I noticed anything from other people beyond an Open Windows type reaction. But I was also only around other women and wasn’t able to experiment on any guys (and no extra cops!)...probably also need to wear more. In the Lumina thread a number of people said they had to wear four sprays/drops to get any reactions from others. So, I’ll have to keep experimenting!

 

I also have samples of Idyllwild with Classy Dame and Goddess of the Blue Moon with La Femme Mystery to tried out...And only another week and a half until I see Mr. Wonderful again!

 

Oh, I also gave my brother some Charisma for men - hoping he’ll report back on how it works out for him.

[Eve]

@RosesArePink  I’m so glad you like it 🙂. It isn’t discussed much lately, but it’s a great, versatile fragrance. I actually have it on today. 

[RosesArePink]

@Eve Sneaky Clean is truly lovely. I also picked up a sample of Mahaelani with Lumina and I like it quite a bit too.

 

The more I wear Lumina the more I think I like it - at least for the self effects. I Still haven’t been able to wear it around many men to see how it effects them. But, I think I got a hit with it yesterday at the grocery store! A guy approaching from the other direction kept looking at me and as he passed by me, he gave me a very gentlemanly nod and then directly looked in my eyes. Okay, he wasn’t particularly sparkly- eyed, but still...

 

Have a big meeting on Friday, so I’ll try it out there and maybe I can get a better feel for how it will work on men. 

 

One more week until I see Mr. Wonderful!

[RosesArePink]

@Eve  Really want to thank you again for your  advice and for suggesting Lumina & Sneaky Clean with light cops. It was exactly the right choice! Lumina put me in a great mood and kept me feeling confident.  For the record, I used four sprays of Sneaky Clean and two drops of UN Lumina plus light cops. That felt like a lot to me, but it seemed to do the trick.

 

So the meeting with Mr. Wonderful went really, really well. He kept looking at me with a really gentle, soft, sweet expression. Lots of eye contact and he looked...idk....gooey-eyed at me. He inquired about my sick cat - who is doing much better these days and he was pleased to hear it.

 

Also, I told him that I was coming back to his building next Friday because I am starting another, different project with one of his office mates. Mr. Wonderful quickly suggested that he should work on the project instead of his office mate. He said the new project is similar (though simpler than our current project) so it just makes sense for us to work on it together. He told me to go to the meeting on Friday, he will try to make the meeting (though that depends on how busy the day is) and that he would talk with his office mate & the directors to smooth everything over. 

 

At the end of the meeting, he started to leave the conference room, but half way to the door he abruptly stopped in his tracks and turned back around to look at me. He smiled warmly at me and said, “It’s nice to see you again!”. And he gave me a quick, shy glance. I smiled at him. Then he grinned widely at me before leaving the room.

 

Yeah, still no date....but baby steps here, I think...

 

And he called me today! Yes, some new data on our project came in and the results are great. He wanted to make sure I saw it. In the past when he has called, he has always been very, very professional. He was much less formal this time and was super happy and almost giggle-y. Well, the good data means it’s less likely that our project will get cancelled, so I was happy too.

 

Oh, I’ll also note that absolutely everyone who came into my Lumina phero cloud that day seemed to suddenly brighten up and seem to want to interact with me. I could see the point when the Lumina hit them...quite interesting to observe it in action like that. 

Edited September 24, 2021 by RosesArePink

[hedgehog]

Most of us have at least one "foolproof" phero that we really resonate with, and I'm glad you found yours! Sounds like you had a great day! 😊

Edited September 24, 2021 by hedgehog

[Eve]

@RosesArePink  I’m so happy to read this 😊. And no, it doesn’t sound like you were heavy handed with your application.  
Perhaps baby steps, but steps in the right direction. 
 

Please keep us updated.

[RosesArePink]

@hedgehog  Yes, thank you, it does seem that Lumina might be that ONE for me. It’s wonderful that there are so many choices (both pheromones and scent wise) to try here.

 

@Eve 😊 I most definitely will keep updating here. 

[RosesArePink]

Not unexpectedly, Mr. Wonderful was not able to make the project meeting with me and Mr. Office Suite Mate (or Mr. OSM). A little disappointing, but I will see him again in two weeks. 

 

Now, I still wore Lumina (two drops of UN and four sprays of Sneaky Clean and very, very light touch of BBM) because I hoped he would show up. It seemed to make an impression on Mr. OSM. I’ve worked on many projects with him and we are work buddies. He was a bit different at this meeting. He was treating me like I was a delicate flower that needed to be protected. No, I don’t think he is interested in me.  I know he is married to a very lovely lady and they have a cute baby. Just interesting to see the behavior change with Lumina. 

 

Also, I used TH for a visit to the dentist. It worked nicely on my normally gruff dentist! She was unusually attentive & nice. So, that’s a plus. 😊 And it is really great at work meetings when you want people to be nice but don’t want the starry-eyed effects. I’m happy to have a bottle of it.

[RosesArePink]

I saw Mr. Wonderful again yesterday and I think it went well. I wore two drops of UN Lumina, three sprays of Sneaky Clean and light cops. Probably should stick with four sprays- not sure why just went with the three. It went fine though.

 

He seemed a bit nervous or maybe shy this time, but he stayed to talk non-business with me for a bit and I know he was really supposed to be in another meeting. He again was asking about my cat. My cat is still doing great. I told him though that I probably could have been more creative with the cat’s name. Mr. Wonderful smiled widely and said, “Oh, what’s wrong with his name? I like his name!”. Which was sweet. We talked a bit about music and other non-business type things, but nothing too deeply personal. It was all nice and flirty in a nice conversational way. Hmmm....possibly even a bit “first date-ish”? Don’t know haven’t been on a first date in a fairly long time.

 

In retrospect, I realize I made one mistake. I think he was hinting at having two separate meetings for the two projects so that maybe we would see each other more than once a month. It would be nice to see him more often, but I was just focused on making sure that we established that he would be working on the second project and not Mr. Office Suite Mate. The entire premise of him working the second project was so that I wouldn’t have to make a second monthly trip (and that the projects are similar) so I guess I was afraid if we made a second meeting for the second project that we would lose that excuse. Anyway, I’m seeing him again in three and a half weeks.  I realized now that no one else really cares if I make one or if I make two trips out there per month. But that’s easy enough to fix at the next meeting.

[Eve]

Thanks for the update.  All in all it sounds positive 😊. 
 

BTW, I noticed you requested a bottle of Beewitched in the sale thread. (I LOVE it!). The reason I mention it here, is because it is sexy but somehow comforting/calming at the same time.  Hard to put into words.  You mentioned he seemed a little nervous this last time, and as Beewitched is phero free, you can use it with any pheromone blend that you like. (I also got a couple boosted with cops).  Anyway, good choice.  I hope you like it.