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Advice for New Office Situation: Respect, Trust, Jealousy


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Posted (edited)

Update on the below:

I clearly forgot how much I used to love Swimming with Sharks. It was my go to when I was in the office every day pre-pandemic. 

I ended up using this every day on my business trip, and the results were nothing short of amazing. 

In the professional setting, I had my second level manager/VP pay more attention to my input and eventually give me more responsibility. 

I had a couple of less experienced employees ask if I would be willing to mentor them - and were very flattering, telling me what they see in me that they'd like to emulate.

 

The biggest surprise was that at the hotel breakfast, the hostess, a young man in his 20's, followed me around and as I was leaving (with my manager, a male in his 40's), asked me out!!! 

 

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Original ask starts here:

 

Hi fellow Love Potion pheromone users, i am restarting my pheromone use and I need advice about a new work situation.

I work in a senior leadership role at a large tech company and have only been here 6 months, I'm still new and I have been working remotely. This week I get to meet my team and some higher ups from all over the world in a face to face event away from where I live. 

 

My goal: respect/status but also approachable, build trust. I work with mostly males, but there are a couple of women who I know are envious of me and two faced. Would like to either get the women to be friendlier/see me as an ally rather than competition, or just have them respect me as a competent, no-drama leader.

I also love status, feeling confident, and I would like to be more assertive and get my point across with all those i work with (not just the women) having my coworkers follow my direction (my role is cross organizational program management, so I have to do lots of influencing but also be firm sometimes). Trying to find the balance between a tough leader and not having a spine/letting others walk all over me. 

 

This week I am in an off site /face to face event with my team, with intense work meetings/brainstorming followed by social gatherings (dinner, happy hour). I'm hoping for an option that can allow for both situations. 

 

Unfortunately I forgot much of my collection at home. My options: LFM, Queen Bee, SWS, Cougar, Lumina. I may have a sample of Charisma. I know, I forgot to bring Open Windows!! I do have Engage from PheromoneXS though, which I think it's similar to OW. 

 

I used to love SWS for the office, then started enjoying LFM better because it feels more feminine but strong woman/goddess. I love Cougar because it makes me feel like a celebrity and men seem to pay more attention to me. 

 

Edited to add: I also have Charisma with me, which I love. Popularity potion used to give me anxiety. This one is lovely. 

 

Thank you!

Edited by phergineer
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Hmmm. If it were me, I think I would go with either LFM or Lumina. LFM would probably give more of the respect vibe (and also work well at the dinner/social part) while Lumina would probably give off more bonding/warmth. I love both of them.

 

Probably in this situation I would stay away from Queen Bee. I see that more as something to use in specialized situations like one would use Leather but only with women (So if you really need to throw the hammer). It might be too much in this type of situation. Cougar would work great with the guys, but might make the women catty. I’ve only used it around guys, so I’m not 100% sure on that - it just seems if you are getting too much male attention other women tend to react poorly. 

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I would definitely go with SWS for the office and first time face-to-face meetings. Sometimes LFM doesn't work as well for bonding. It's more "hands-off" - admiration, but unapproachable. SWS gives that status and respect vibe with both males and females. 

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SWS for sure! I think LFM is fantastic once you're settled in a role and is great for some specific people, but SWS can't be beat for all-purpose professionalism and networking, especially in large groups.  My policy is to start with SWS, then later switching in to LFM for one-on-ones or smaller group meetings with the team, depending on how they respond. 

 

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Posted (edited)

Hmm, thank you. I love SWS but I don't think it's status-promoting, nor great for networking. It feels impersonal, which I guess it's good to ward off jealousy and just give a competent vibe... 

I do have a one on one with my second level VP (male, I get along fine with him in the virtual group meetings, he doesn't seem to favor males over females in his team... But we'll see) later in the week - maybe try LFM then? I want him to have respect for me and see me as a strong, knowledgeable leader on his team, so come yearly evaluation time, he will at least have an idea. Or still stick to SWS?

Edited by phergineer
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SWS pushes me to be in charge. And I have zero patience for my coworkers. So I stay away from it, unless it's in a spell potion. So my vote definitely goes for LFM. Especially since you like wearing it!

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38 minutes ago, citrine said:

SWS pushes me to be in charge. And I have zero patience for my coworkers. So I stay away from it, unless it's in a spell potion. So my vote definitely goes for LFM. Especially since you like wearing it!

Thank you, LFM used to not work for me at all, I'd feel odd wearing it. Now I love both SWS and LFM, but my experience with SWS is that it worked to keep me and my coworkers respectful but neutral. Then I started feeling in charge and confident with LFM. 

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I clearly forgot how much I used to love Swimming with Sharks. It was my go to when I was in the office every day pre-pandemic. 

 

I ended up using this every day on my business trip, and the results were nothing short of amazing. 

 

In the professional setting, I had my second level manager/VP pay more attention to my input and eventually give me more responsibility. 

 

I had a couple of less experienced employees ask if I would be willing to mentor them - and were very flattering, telling me what they see in me that they'd like to emulate.

 

The biggest surprise was that at the hotel breakfast, the hostess, a young man in his 20's, followed me around and as I was leaving (with my manager, a male in his 40's), asked me out!!! I'm 38... 

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Sws is great! The only downside is if I wear too much my boss thinks I'm pissy lol But out of all my pheros sws is the most useful. I'm glad your trip went so well! 

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