Heres whats comin-heres the situation-what else do I need?

[cheeseburger79]

Hi Phero experts! I have a slump in both my love life and communication with my fiance right now. Its a long story girls, seriously. The short version would be he's coming out of a fight with addiction, and so am I, but where I'm going to school and counseling, he won't. I dont know if this is some dumb macho s*it or what, and there have been some slip ups along the way on both of our parts, but we ARE both trying. He did at least kick one thing for good, so I'm just hoping for more progress. If you want more on this you can read what I wrote in the ashes to dust review. But I digress.

I have coming in the mail the phero enhanced version of LP(with Blatant Invitation), Phero Girl Wildflower(for use at school-Im a beauty school student and work on real clients),Phero Girl 3rd Brew (WITH EOW? I Dont remember,I also dont know why the computer started typing in bold font..), Forever After(with soul mate), Nakai Nectar(dont remember whats in here), and unscented cuddle bunny.

This order I wanna get Sorceress(again I'm thinking school, but maybe with him too?), and either drop your guard or super sexy unscented.

I feel like my sexual bases are covered and I really want to get him to open up more at this point. He just seems to have zero lust for life these days and its dragging me down too.

He's my best friend. I've known him ten years. I'm not naive enough to think perfumes can change a person THAT much, but maybe enough, with prayers, and good thoughts, to push him a little in the right direction?

So. After all that my actual question is, do you think drop your guard is a good choice? And if you think a dominance potion is appropriate, how would it be used in this situation? Ashes to dust has been ordered and I'll be working out the negative energy with that too.

All advice is appreciated. I mean ALL. Thanks as always, Lori

 

ps- I should mention, our sex life isnt non existent, its just slowed down. And no, no cheating. Hes always here, just...full of malaise..sorry so personal. This forum has made me comfortable.

[knjsavy]

I can't speak on the pheros aspect but sending you strength, patience, comfort, understanding and love all wrapped up in hugs.

[cheeseburger79]

Thanks, Kjnsavy. Your the only one who said anything so far and I really appreciate it. Your sweet. Its cool though, everyone is distracted by Cuddle bunny. I went with drop your guard...and I DID place my second order already. ACK!!! YOU WERE SO RIGHT! IM an ADDICT!! At least its of a healthy addiction this time though!!!!

[Shelly B]

Hi Phero experts! I have a slump in both my love life and communication with my fiance right now. Its a long story girls, seriously. The short version would be he's coming out of a fight with addiction, and so am I, but where I'm going to school and counseling, he won't. I dont know if this is some dumb macho s*it or what, and there have been some slip ups along the way on both of our parts, but we ARE both trying. He did at least kick one thing for good, so I'm just hoping for more progress. If you want more on this you can read what I wrote in the ashes to dust review. But I digress.

I have coming in the mail the phero enhanced version of LP(with Blatant Invitation), Phero Girl Wildflower(for use at school-Im a beauty school student and work on real clients),Phero Girl 3rd Brew (WITH EOW? I Dont remember,I also dont know why the computer started typing in bold font..), Forever After(with soul mate), Nakai Nectar(dont remember whats in here), and unscented cuddle bunny.

This order I wanna get Sorceress(again I'm thinking school, but maybe with him too?), and either drop your guard or super sexy unscented.

I feel like my sexual bases are covered and I really want to get him to open up more at this point. He just seems to have zero lust for life these days and its dragging me down too.

He's my best friend. I've known him ten years. I'm not naive enough to think perfumes can change a person THAT much, but maybe enough, with prayers, and good thoughts, to push him a little in the right direction?

So. After all that my actual question is, do you think drop your guard is a good choice? And if you think a dominance potion is appropriate, how would it be used in this situation? Ashes to dust has been ordered and I'll be working out the negative energy with that too.

All advice is appreciated. I mean ALL. Thanks as always, Lori

 

ps- I should mention, our sex life isnt non existent, its just slowed down. And no, no cheating. Hes always here, just...full of malaise..sorry so personal. This forum has made me comfortable.

 

 

So _ as always KJ is a source of support. Because she is a good person.

 

So - I'm not the expert - there are others with YEARS more experience than me. And Ail - who is lkely to launch a whole phero blend @morrow that rends this post obsilete -

 

With that said...

 

This is a confused question.

 

TH = love and devotion.

BI = sex, laughter, and welcome

SS =Aura of sexy w/o cops

CB = Sexy and COPs

 

 

 

EEEKKKKK - I read my post.

 

Sorry ya'll.

 

I'll admit I deleted the really cranky part.

 

Seriously - several super long work days to catch up on what I missed with the older offspring being sick last week and now the little one is spewing biofluids like the flippin' exorcist- SB shakes fist at the universe that seems to think this is funny.

 

Note to self - I have to stop posting when I've been up longer than 20 hours at a stretch.

 

And apologize for being crabby last night.

 

Sorry - crawls away to the cave.

Edited February 25, 2009 by Shelly B

[sultry brunette]

Drop Your Guard would be perfect if you just want to open up and be closer without so much "SEX" being put out there. Soulmate (almost sold out) is also a good one. Both of these are good for work. I work in an all women office, so I need a few phero's in my arsenal that work on women. I am thinking of getting girl/girl for work (for the bonding, not because I want them hitting on me).

[knjsavy]

Thanks, Kjnsavy. Your the only one who said anything so far and I really appreciate it. Your sweet. Its cool though, everyone is distracted by Cuddle bunny. I went with drop your guard...and I DID place my second order already. ACK!!! YOU WERE SO RIGHT! IM an ADDICT!! At least its of a healthy addiction this time though!!!!

 

 

LOL

 

thank you and Shelly B - it's easy to be nice here - like you said the ladies here make you feel comfortable to open up - if someone doesn't like it or gives you 'tude - hit them with a shelly b-ism (tell em to stuff it and keep movin)

[Curiouschic]

You may also want to take a look at Treasured Hearts. It will help with comfort, and bonding. Throw that with True Confessions and you will have some important conversations.

[cheeseburger79]

Dang it I thought about Treasured Hearts, but I went with drop your guard. Im gonna wear forever after (which contains soulmates) over drop your guard and see how it goes. Thanks for your input, seriously. Its not been a smooth few months. Just wish me luck and send me your good vibes!

[Curiouschic]

Dang it I thought about Treasured Hearts, but I went with drop your guard. Im gonna wear forever after (which contains soulmates) over drop your guard and see how it goes. Thanks for your input, seriously. Its not been a smooth few months. Just wish me luck and send me your good vibes!

 

Good luck and just trust your instinct.

 

I just went through a break-up (well currently am). I love him, and he loves me. Things happened that hurt the two of us. I had to decide to work on things and hope for a better future or end it.

 

I started out trying to fix things and make it work. By doing that, I had to forget about my feelings and pay attention only to him.

I got advice from my business partner that it was okay to think about my own needs. Someone else also said this to me. Once they said that it gave me the permission I needed to concentrate on what was really right for me and what would be best for me. It was hard to make the decision but I realized that I was going to have to give up to much of who I am to fix things and in the end it would only hurt us both. Things had to change

 

It is still hard but I know I did the right thing. Now everyday I have to look out what is best for me...not in a selfish way, more in a survival way. I love him and would love to be with him for the rest of my life...but I realize where he is in his life, that wont work.

 

Stay strong and make sure you look after yourself. You need to take care of you.

[cheeseburger79]

CC, I'm slowly coming to grips with that fact myself...but if theres any saving it, I wanna try, ya know? I DO realize that whatever comes of this that I have to be ok. Its just, well. I'm not there yet. Ten years is a long time. I'm 29. We pretty much grew up together, he's more family to me than my family is. But your right, its gotta change.

I dont doubt he loves me, its just a rut he's stuck in. He's a 'band' guy. And when we were younger, all that partying and stuff just seemed like the thing to do. But then last year, his health got threatend by it and he landed in the hospital, and now, if he doesnt shape up it could literally kill him.

I dont wanna watch that happen, but if I leave him now I dont think I'd be helping his road to recovery either. And I dont wanna leave anyway,cause even though 80 percent of the time he's either mourning his old lifestyle or slipping back into it, there ARE these rays of light and laughter where things are as they should be. And that just reminds me of how good things CAN be.

So, I'm trying to see this thing through. And dont think I'm a saint either, cause I'm not, everyone has thier pitfalls. But I have come a long way. I'm in treatment, my counselor is great, and I'm honest with her about it all. It helps! Thats why its so mind boggling to me why he wont just go DO IT! Why does he think he can handle this stuff himself? No one can.

Ugh...Anywayssssss...enough of me crying all over my keyboard to a sweet poor gal who barely knows me but who is kind enough to listen. Thanks for that. Seriously.

Your Good stuff,CC. All of ya are. Goodnight,Lori.

[cheeseburger79]

Good gravy! All that sob story and I'm not even drunk! Computers should maybe have little 'too much information' buzzers..aw shucks. Thanks again! Sheesh.

[Curiouschic]

Good gravy! All that sob story and I'm not even drunk! Computers should maybe have little 'too much information' buzzers..aw shucks. Thanks again! Sheesh.

 

Thank goodness there is no TMI button. I love LP for the fact that you can be open and honest and comfy.

 

CC, I'm slowly coming to grips with that fact myself...but if theres any saving it, I wanna try, ya know? I DO realize that whatever comes of this that I have to be ok. Its just, well. I'm not there yet. Ten years is a long time. I'm 29. We pretty much grew up together, he's more family to me than my family is. But your right, its gotta change.

I dont doubt he loves me, its just a rut he's stuck in. He's a 'band' guy. And when we were younger, all that partying and stuff just seemed like the thing to do. But then last year, his health got threatend by it and he landed in the hospital, and now, if he doesnt shape up it could literally kill him.

I dont wanna watch that happen, but if I leave him now I dont think I'd be helping his road to recovery either. And I dont wanna leave anyway,cause even though 80 percent of the time he's either mourning his old lifestyle or slipping back into it, there ARE these rays of light and laughter where things are as they should be. And that just reminds me of how good things CAN be.

So, I'm trying to see this thing through. And dont think I'm a saint either, cause I'm not, everyone has thier pitfalls. But I have come a long way. I'm in treatment, my counselor is great, and I'm honest with her about it all. It helps! Thats why its so mind boggling to me why he wont just go DO IT! Why does he think he can handle this stuff himself? No one can.

Ugh...Anywayssssss...enough of me crying all over my keyboard to a sweet poor gal who barely knows me but who is kind enough to listen. Thanks for that. Seriously.

Your Good stuff,CC. All of ya are. Goodnight,Lori.

 

Sorry, when I told you about what was going on with me, I am not saying that you should break up with him because that is what I felt was right for me. By all means that hopefully isnt right for you. I more was refering to that in all this crap, listen to yourself and it is OK to think about what is best for Lori.

 

The last thing you want is to put all your energy into helping him or trying to "fix" him, when in the end it destroys you. See he wont want that eaither. So look at yourself at your needs and let his mesh and work with yours.

 

TIme and patience is important, so give yourself that, and nab some treasured hearts in a trade if you can

 

And sweety I am sorry that you are dealing with this. But on the plus side, you have been together for 10 years so you have a foundation to stand on AND you can understand the draw for him and where he is coming from. Use this to help the relationship and him. Just dont let him pull you back into. Also look at the foundation and see what you are building on. MAke sure it doesnt need work too. (I hope this makes sense )

 

You are FABULOUS!

[Dolly]

Hun, I know what you are going throgh......and I would never tell you what to do. Only you can know what is right for you. That being said.....

 

I was married to one alcoholic and then was engaged to another. Addiction is a terrible thing, whether it is drugs or alcohol.....it is difficult, but you need to realize that in the end, you cannot change them.....they will only change if the desire is within themselves.

 

Putting them each out of my house was what I had to do in the end. It hurt like hell, but I have the realization of knowing that now, they have both cleaned up their acts, and are doing ok. If I had not shown some tough love (and self-preservation instincts), they probably never would have done so......and would have probably ended up dead.

 

 

OK, enough of my soap box......as far as pheros, I would go with Treasured Hearts for a loving vibe......Drop Your Guard and True Confessions for communication....

 

And, big hugs to you.....I hope you find the strength to do what you know needs to be done.....FOR YOU.

Edited February 25, 2009 by Dolly

[Shelly B]

Noting here at the bottom two - since I was really crabby enough last night that I don't want anyone to miss an apology in an edit.

 

EEEKKKKK - I read my post.

 

Sorry ya'll.

 

I'll admit I deleted the really cranky part.

 

Seriously - several super long work days to catch up on what I missed with the older offspring being sick last week and now the little one is spewing biofluids like the flippin' exorcist- SB shakes fist at the universe that seems to think this is funny.

 

Note to self - I have to stop posting when I've been up longer than 20 hours at a stretch.

 

And apologize for being crabby last night.

 

 

Sorry - crawls away to the cave.

[cheeseburger79]

Ladies,Ladies,Ladies,

I just wanted to drop in real quick to A-THANK EACH OF YOU and B-let you know today is a better day. It goes that way. Some days are better than others.

First off Knjsavy, your a doll. Your warm and friendly and make me feel very welcome here. Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. You rock!

Sultry, I work in a primarily woman run feild as well, so thanks for the tips on that AND my current situation as well as your help with navigating the boards as a newbie. Take a bow, sista, your a damn good moderator.

CC, You are a GEM! One of my best friends on the forum. Please dont worry about me miscontruing your advice. I picked up what your puttin down. Your right. Hopefully, things do work out! Like you said, ten years IS a long time and today has been a good one. But theres only so much personal energy you can put into 'fixing someone else'. Sometimes thats just where theyre going to be, and your ready to move ahead, and theyre not...so I'm hearin ya my friend. I am. What came after our initial chat last night was basically some much needed venting. Hopefully he and I can come to a good comprimise, I'm gonna have that patience for awhile and see. But thanks again for just bein there and hearing me out.There is no such thing as bad advice and I think your wonderful.

Hello, Dolly! (Oh, no, shes never heard that one before)- Thank you too. Its nice to hear from you. Your not on a soapbox. I appreciate a gentle kick in the tush once in awhile. Yes, addiction is a bitch and this is a drug/alchohol combo, though he did kick the main drug in rehab, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

Still theres a point where I become the "comfort zone enabler". He got pancreatitis last summer from drinking, and the death thing scares the bejeezus out of me. The doctor said he could "drink in moderation'--real stupid thing to say to an alcoholic--so I'm thinkin after another "horror show" or two, its gonna be 'you go to therapy or you gotta go elsewhere till you do'. Then take it from there. And thanks for the phero advice too.

Finally, Shelly B. Your not rude, your hilarious, so dont worry about. I just thought ya were kinda crazy. Keep it comin girl.

In conclusion, its really cool to have insight and advice and yes, silly banter from a diverse group of women like you girls. All ages, all backgrounds, from all over the country (and beyond!) So thanks again, my ladies. I look forward to getting to know you all better. Hopefully on somethin lighter next time? Talk to you soon. Hugs & Kisses, Lori

[Shelly B]

Finally, Shelly B. Your not rude, your hilarious, so dont worry about. I just thought ya were kinda crazy. Keep it comin girl.fx:

 

 

I'm pretty certain I've been told I'm crazy - b4. I just chalk it up to my neurons being wired/fired differently - and find that less offensive - than crazy.

 

A nice bio-medical cause sounds so MUCH better than mental illness IMHO.

 

The real truth - is others have inside and outside voices - and care other people think about what their outside voices say. I mostly have an inside voice - it talks outside too - a LOT - and I generally don't give a flyin' fig what anyone thinks about it.

 

That's sort of a black and white picture of my life - and really - there are about 15 shades of grey in there - but painting with a broad brush - I can live with it. :-)

 

You might be shocked at how much of my inside voice I contain at work. As I said - this is nearly the only place (*nearly* being the operative word) where it get's to rule the roost.

 

Sorry to the rest of you that the id supercedes the super ego here.

 

:-)

[cheeseburger79]

Shelly- I meant crazy in a good way darlin! : )

And THAT post just made me a disgruntled house elf too!

Seriously, I think your a cool lady, and the perfumes you design sound divine as well.

I read your ham post and I laughed my ass off.

As for me? I'm crazy. I have no nueral excuse!

Your good stuff my lady!

[sultry brunette]

Shelly - I have been told that you are not crazy when you talk to yourself (that whole outside voice thing). It's when you start answering when it becomes a little questionable. Full on conversations might be pushing more than questionable.

 

[Shelly B]

Shelly - I have been told that you are not crazy when you talk to yourself (that whole outside voice thing). It's when you start answering when it becomes a little questionable. Full on conversations might be pushing more than questionable.

 

 

 

PIMPL.

 

:-) Love to ya'll.

[knjsavy]

Right back at ya cheesy b

 

Stay strong and it will get better

[Curiouschic]

Glad you got a breath of fresh air Lori. Those are needed when coping and trying to figure out what is best. Stay strong. Us ladies are here to support you.

 

YOU ARE FABULOUS!