pinup Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 This weekend I was invited to a holiday party. The minute I walked in I was the belle of the ball. Women and men rushed to greet me and immediately wanted to befriend me. I was really keyed up b/c I knew that there was a guy there who I had a *history* with. It's one of those things where we befriend each other online, but it's really touch and go and we each don't really approach the other too much. Anyway, toward the end of the evening, a bunch of us were sitting down outside at a table. Over there were 3 guys: the one I had a history w/, a great married friend, and another platonic friend. The married platonic friend started talking to me about how I used to intimidate him when he first met me. This caught me off-guard since I wanted to be very inviting so that my target guy would feel open to talk to me. Then they both started saying how I was very intimidating. This was not going how I wanted it to. I felt more tense b/c I wanted to undo that. But my target kept going on about how I seem so intimadating and agreeing w/ how the married guy described me as "vigilant". I asked why they would ever think that, and my target said, "B/c you have boobs!!" I was shocked. OMG. I didn't know what to think. And I said that I'm not scary, then my target said, "Oh yeah, there's nothing intimidating about a beautiful woman. Yeah, guys never find that scary." Soon after, my target had to rush out of the place. I don't know what to think. I somehow felt ganged up on and the night didn't go really the way I wanted. Any thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrazyKat Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) This weekend I was invited to a holiday party. The minute I walked in I was the belle of the ball. Women and men rushed to greet me and immediately wanted to befriend me. I was really keyed up b/c I knew that there was a guy there who I had a *history* with. It's one of those things where we befriend each other online, but it's really touch and go and we each don't really approach the other too much. Anyway, toward the end of the evening, a bunch of us were sitting down outside at a table. Over there were 3 guys: the one I had a history w/, a great married friend, and another platonic friend. The married platonic friend started talking to me about how I used to intimidate him when he first met me. This caught me off-guard since I wanted to be very inviting so that my target guy would feel open to talk to me. Then they both started saying how I was very intimidating. This was not going how I wanted it to. I felt more tense b/c I wanted to undo that. But my target kept going on about how I seem so intimadating and agreeing w/ how the married guy described me as "vigilant". I asked why they would ever think that, and my target said, "B/c you have boobs!!" I was shocked. OMG. I didn't know what to think. And I said that I'm not scary, then my target said, "Oh yeah, there's nothing intimidating about a beautiful woman. Yeah, guys never find that scary." Soon after, my target had to rush out of the place. I don't know what to think. I somehow felt ganged up on and the night didn't go really the way I wanted. Any thoughts? Pinup Honey.... Intimidating= cant have you 'cause your out of control BI amplifies HOTNESS... Sometimes guys act funny around young, HOT women (especially if your intelligent),.. call you "intimidating" or ignore you or insult you even, pretend you stalk them, all sorts of wierdness, NEVER take it personally. I have a friend who is Penelope Cruz look-alike and American men ignore her like the plague, its so sad.. Your lucky your TG is strong enough to compliment you. Edited December 21, 2009 by KrazyKat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lor Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 dont give the BI too much credit, it might exaggerate the situation but that was all you,baby. key stuff in BI probably acted like a filter-remover,making them feel like telling you what they think. *sigh* wait for a guy who sees you as beautifully intimidating and says "hell yeah, a challenge!" they are the most fun to go rounds with. not for nothing, but you could also try some "lace" here. might be a fun contrast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geena Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Hmmm...yeh I'd say they were hitting on you and perhaps the BI got them saying what they really felt. These are the kind of things I sometimes hear when men are trying to impress me and it doesn't upset me in the least or make me think they are ganging up on me. I kind of think of it as them trying to urge you to have pity on them. lol Men sometimes go through little rituals trying to work a woman down to their level...or what they perceive to be their level. Sometimes they use pity, sometimes they use antics to try to make you more approachable by saying you are intimidating or unapproachable, sometimes they even try to slight a beautiful woman to try to knock her down a peg. Actually I watched some videos some of those "pick up artists" on other phero boards posted and this was actually taught to guys trying to learn to be pick-up artists. Silly boys. I'd take it as a compliment, because tons of men lust after "intimidating" women and honestly a lot of them will trample right over a darned nice approachable girl to get the attentions of an "intimidating" woman. Now if they said you were stuck-up, or bitchy, or a primadonna you could take that as more of a slight, but I think this was all meant as a compliment and a way to warm up to you. If you really don't want to come off as intimidating perhaps try Lace or Bam or something a bit more sociable and nicey nice. BI is hardcore sex appeal. Very Jessica Rabbit. I'm not really sure what they meant as "vigilant" though. That's kind of an odd comment. dont give the BI too much credit, it might exaggerate the situation but that was all you,baby. key stuff in BI probably acted like a filter-remover,making them feel like telling you what they think. *sigh* wait for a guy who sees you as beautifully intimidating and says "hell yeah, a challenge!" they are the most fun to go rounds with. not for nothing, but you could also try some "lace" here. might be a fun contrast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I sort of echo what the other ladies have said....being called "imtimidating" is definitely not what I would call a bad thing.....I have been called that and I love it.....it is good if they harbor a little bit of that..... Think about it this way.....to me, intimidating not only means that they would have a difficult time approaching you, but also means that they know that IF they were in a relationship with you, they could not walk all over you, because you would chew them to bits and move on..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly B Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Honestly - BI is not my favorite phero here. (Don't smack me Dolly...) I don't get self effects and I find that it really amps the men up - to my way of thinking - too far for a social setting like a party. I wear BI when I want to get tossed onto the nearest bed and get ravished. (So right now - next to never...) For a party - I'd wear Cougar or Dom plus OCCO - but I'm older than you. I expect to get Lace in the next day or so - and I think the A-Nol/EST combo would be ideal for a Party. I can see Leather too since you are apparently "intimidating" with a smidge of EST to take the Edge off. I'm intimidating as well - was in my 20's - still am in my 40's. And Dom (which is also the base in Leather) makes me feel HOT/demanding/all sexy siren. Really - it's like I'm channeling "If you think you can hit it- bring it. I'll be the judge of the effort big boy. But don't think you are getting anywhere unless I say you are." I think you have a couple of great options - soften the intimidating vibe (Lace) - or maximize it. (Leather.) IMO - I'd save the BI for when you know he wants the cookie and you have plans to hit a bedroom and make him work for it up close and personal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrazyKat Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 REMEMBER..At the end of the day, they are the ones who are Intimidated.... Keep being your Sexy Self I would try a few other blends, maybe something softening. and Save the BI for cookie-time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Countesszero Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 (edited) I too can identify with the intimidating factor. I have been told this numerous times. Guys have said they think twice about approaching me because of their fear of rejection. I've had this happen with and without wearing BI.I wouldnt say I'm ultra sexy but I am unique looking and have a nice set of boobs to match. I'm half black and Indian with long dark straight hair. No one can really place my look so they become intriqued and yes a little leary of approaching me. My husband was one of them but my friendly attitude won him over eventually. I remember how he would never talk to me oh he watched me closely but talk no way. Later after we were married he confessed that he was crazy attracted to me but was scared to approach. Now days I wear Drop Your Guard to counter this effect. I highly recommend it. I literally OD on DYG it really opens up a guy who otherwise just ignores you because your too SEXY. I've just received my LACE too and agree with ShellyB that you can use this to soften the intimidating factor as well. I know I will. Edited December 21, 2009 by Countesszero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrazyKat Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 I too can identify with the intimidating factor. I have been told this numerous times. Guys have said they think twice about approaching me because of their fear of rejection. I've had this happen with and without wearing BI.I wouldnt say I'm ultra sexy but I am unique looking and have a nice set of boobs to match. I'm half black and Indian with long dark straight hair. No one can really place my look so they become intriqued and yes a little leary of approaching me. My husband was one of them but my friendly attitude won him over eventually. I remember how he would never talk to me oh he watched me closely but talk no way. Later after we were married he confessed that he was crazy attracted to me but was scared to approach. Now days I wear Drop Your Guard to counter this effect. I highly recommend it. I literally OD on DYG it really opens up a guy who otherwise just ignores you because your too SEXY. I've just received my LACE too and agree with ShellyB that you can use this to soften the intimidating factor as well. I know I will. Countesszero, your soo lucky to have that darker skin beauty, my closest friend is Ethiopian and at 35 she could easily pass for early 20s because of her stunning and unusual exotic complexion as well as her radiant and pure inner beauty. Men are absolutely beside themselves when they take one look at her... I have seen them walk into things, and behave like retards... To age gracefully and radiate outwardly your Inner Beauty is a Blessing, no matter what the color of your skin. cant wait to try DYG!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Has anyone noticed that redheads don't wrinkle either? I'm just glad I learned to stay out of the sun, a long time ago. I may be a blonde, but that doesn't mean I want to have skin the texture of leather. I've gotten as young as 18 before, I'm 28 I would have to agree that B/I might be 2 hardcore for a social setting. I love H&S for social settings, but the beta-anol can make it awkward if there's drinking involved. I don't care what age you are Cougar is an amazing social phero. Est. is a great standalone phero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly B Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Has anyone noticed that redheads don't wrinkle either? I would have to agree that B/I might be 2 hardcore for a social setting. I love H&S for social settings, but the beta-anol can make it awkward if there's drinking involved. I don't care what age you are Cougar is an amazing social phero. Est. is a great standalone phero. Beccah - Does that count for bottled red heads too? Giggles. Giggles again. I so wish. Also true about H&S with drinking. Beccah is right - drinking and B-nol equals - tragic honesty. It's clear I love Cougar so no reason to lie about that. Huh - might be time to hit myself with some Cougar in Empress. :-) Just cuz I want to sparkle - even here at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 Beccah - Does that count for bottled red heads too? Giggles. Giggles again. I so wish. Also true about H&S with drinking. Beccah is right - drinking and B-nol equals - tragic honesty. It's clear I love Cougar so no reason to lie about that. Huh - might be time to hit myself with some Cougar in Empress. :-) Just cuz I want to sparkle - even here at home. LOL @ Shelly, of course it can be true for bottle reds. I think the determining factor is UV exposure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlitegirl Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Dang. I had no idea that this is what being intimidating is all about. I just thought it was because I was so tall. Or because I don't look like I take crap from anybody, which I don't. Intimidating, huh? I ALWAYS thought it was a euphemism for bitch. LMAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) Actually, I've seen this firsthand. I have a redheaded friend that is just drop dead gorgeous. She's a promo girl in Vegas. Here @ the Lake, when we were college age. We would go out to a night club. The only guy that would approach her, was in my estimation an attractive & yet total douchebag. Wouldn't even buy her a drink, & they had previously dated. All the regular(still attractive) guys were approaching me & buying us both drinks. Intimidating= too perfect too approach Not that I'm chopped liver, I'm just more outgoing. I can & will strike up a conversation w/ anyone. Douchebags excluded, as the revulsion is mutual lol. Edited December 22, 2009 by Beccah1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly B Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Intimidating, huh? I ALWAYS thought it was a euphemism for bitch. LMAO Hey - I resemble that remark. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Countesszero Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) Countesszero, your soo lucky to have that darker skin beauty, my closest friend is Ethiopian and at 35 she could easily pass for early 20s because of her stunning and unusual exotic complexion as well as her radiant and pure inner beauty. Men are absolutely beside themselves when they take one look at her... I have seen them walk into things, and behave like retards... To age gracefully and radiate outwardly your Inner Beauty is a Blessing, no matter what the color of your skin. cant wait to try DYG!!! KrazyKat such kind words. I do believe Inner Beauty is everything. I try not to look in the mirror too much because looks arent everything. But yeah I get guys bumping into walls alot around me. I feel sorry for them sometimes but It's kindof fun to watch. Edited December 22, 2009 by Countesszero Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Intimidating, huh? I ALWAYS thought it was a euphemism for bitch. LMAO That is not always a bad thing......lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Honestly - BI is not my favorite phero here. (Don't smack me Dolly...) I don't get self effects and I find that it really amps the men up - to my way of thinking - too far for a social setting like a party. I wear BI when I want to get tossed onto the nearest bed and get ravished. (So right now - next to never...) For a party - I'd wear Cougar or Dom plus OCCO - but I'm older than you. I expect to get Lace in the next day or so - and I think the A-Nol/EST combo would be ideal for a Party. I can see Leather too since you are apparently "intimidating" with a smidge of EST to take the Edge off. I'm intimidating as well - was in my 20's - still am in my 40's. And Dom (which is also the base in Leather) makes me feel HOT/demanding/all sexy siren. Really - it's like I'm channeling "If you think you can hit it- bring it. I'll be the judge of the effort big boy. But don't think you are getting anywhere unless I say you are." I think you have a couple of great options - soften the intimidating vibe (Lace) - or maximize it. (Leather.) IMO - I'd save the BI for when you know he wants the cookie and you have plans to hit a bedroom and make him work for it up close and personal. I won't smack you hun.....to each his own....for me right now, my fave is a tie between BI and Leather (with cops).....both are totally rockin'! As far as softening or maximizing the dominant vibe....MAXIMIZE!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lor Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 (edited) That is not always a bad thing......lol holy moly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this entire time i have been the BIGGEST intimidating bartender ! Edited December 22, 2009 by Lor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinup Posted December 23, 2009 Author Share Posted December 23, 2009 Thanks so much, ladies. You really help me put this whole thing into perspective. I think I was disappointed by the fact that he and I didn't have that special intimate talk and get down to dating. But I guess it's a good thing to hear how and why I intimidate him. I think I will add some EST in the future as I felt I wanted nuturing at that moment. I think I'll also try Lace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWBookworm Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I won't smack you hun.....to each his own....for me right now, my fave is a tie between BI and Leather (with cops).....both are totally rockin'! As far as softening or maximizing the dominant vibe....MAXIMIZE!!!!! Dolly, do you think that BI and Dominance (or Leather) would work together or would it be one of those where they would cancel each other out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 Dolly, do you think that BI and Dominance (or Leather) would work together or would it be one of those where they would cancel each other out? I think that would be a little much.....but I would add cops to either Dom or leather.....Dom as a sex blend is killer.....so is Leather with cops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWBookworm Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I think that would be a little much.....but I would add cops to either Dom or leather.....Dom as a sex blend is killer.....so is Leather with cops! I've got Leather with cops and like it but I've also got BI with Sandalwood NoCO and thought it would meld well with the scent of Tabby, which has Dominance in it. I just didn't want the pheros to clash if I use two scents that are boosted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I've got Leather with cops and like it but I've also got BI with Sandalwood NoCO and thought it would meld well with the scent of Tabby, which has Dominance in it. I just didn't want the pheros to clash if I use two scents that are boosted. I've not tried them together......don't think they would "clash" per se, but just might be a bit of overkill.....no way to know without trying, though! Keep us posted!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWBookworm Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I've not tried them together......don't think they would "clash" per se, but just might be a bit of overkill.....no way to know without trying, though! Keep us posted!! Guess the only real way to know is to try! Will keep you informed. Thanks and I hope you feel better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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