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What phero to make him talk to me??


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There's a rather sexy young man at my local gym. Over the course of the month we've been exchanging glances but no verbal communication has taken place.

I've tried various pheros.

It seems anything with cops without EST makes me scary or makes men aggressive towards me, eg blatant invitation, cougar, lam, etc.

Maybe its because I already give off a sexual vibe but those just dont seem to work especially with younger men. However anything with EST works wonders (apart from leather) so cuddlebunny, lace and especially Sexology. Perhaps it makes me more approachable, more toned down?

 

The other day I wore sexology and the man-prey in question was following me around like a puppy dog but we did not converse. Sexology truly works, is all I can say! And with all the gym body heat I felt like a giant human diffuser- I also noticed some collateral damage ( a random old bloke also following me around?!).

 

I don't want to start the conversation as I am European and expect the men to be gallant and start the dance of seduction, its good to give them the appearance of being in control, even if we women are generally always 2 steps ahead (at least).

 

Would adding some True Confessions into the mix get him to talk to me or should I add something else??

Advice please!?

Edited by Indigo
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Thanks Violet I do have that but in my experience it has made other men over emotional not necessarily talkative...I'll run some tests....does TC help?

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I haven't tried true confessions but seems like true confessions or open windows might work also. Alpha androstenol is supposed to make people chatty and friendly. TC is mostly beta androstenol though, which is for deeper communication...so depends what mood you want.

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I tend to think the majority of phero mixes are more about facilitating communication with people who are already talking, so to speak. As far as getting a stranger to talk to you, I wonder if something like Popularity Potion might be more effective.

 

But do you mean you haven't even exchanged a "hello?" Because sometimes that's all it takes to begin a conversation.

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True Confessions is for getting people to open up and likely tell you EVERYTHING.

Not necessarily for deeper communication, but it, at least for me, inspired a flood of communication.

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAAAAA.......I had to giggle at this.....it IS a very true statement!

 

I like Open Windows......happy, upbeat, approachable......definitely not an intimidating aura at all.....

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HAHAHAHAHAAAAA.......I had to giggle at this.....it IS a very true statement!

 

Yeah, True Confessions is in my NEVER AGAIN file.

If I ever hear that much waaaayyyy personal STUFF from people again, it will be too soon.

I wore it to a party, thought I'd never be invited back to that house again.

I sent my bottle to Ail.

:(

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LOL!!! I bought a bottle of TC with the aim of forcing a particular person to spill their guts...but never got up the nerve to try it for fear of myself spilling what few guts I haven't already, and ended up trading/selling it away... sounds like powwwwwerful stuff.

Edited by tyvey
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I was hoping to delay the purchase as I wanted to finish using my bottle of IHx2. The IH and IO combo didn't get people to loosen up and talk, I rest my case! Purchased a bottle of TC this week and I can't wait to test this out.

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This general question, "How do I get my TG to take the initiative?" seems to come up a lot with women... women often want us guys to man up and take the lead. I don't think there is any pheromone blend that will make a guy do that. A lot of us blokes are often intimidated by beautiful women... we are often made to feel that our natural desire for you is an imposition on you, that it is dirty or wrong, and women have the power to make men feel humiliated or ashamed. And men fear shame far more than they fear physical harm. So that's probably why he is not taking the initiative here. Long story short: if you wait passively for this guy to make the first move, nothing will happen :lol:

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Thanks for all the replies and suggestions.

No not even a hello has been exchanged, I'm too proud and he seems so too...albeit he's not too proud to come and bicep curl right next to me while I'm doing stiff legged deadlifts...

 

Can I mix open windows with Sexology?????????

Its just that I love love love the effect sexology had on him, he was following me around with big big puppy eyes, his tongue almost hanging out..... its just he was not talking.....more like stalking.... heehee

 

Thanks Tezza, for your input, the problem is, also when women make the first move, men can take it as being too forward. If he continues to keep his pink puppy tongue tied I'll just have to find a situation where I can pretend to ask him for help with an exercise -even though I detest that as I used to be a champ in my sports division and playing the damsel in distress annoys me...

Edited by Indigo
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Thanks Tezza, for your input, the problem is, also when women make the first move, men can take it as being too forward. If he continues to keep his pink puppy tongue tied I'll just have to find a situation where I can pretend to ask him for help with an exercise -even though I detest that as I used to be a champ in my sports division and playing the damsel in distress annoys me...

 

Well again, you might be able to avoid the annoyance if you were to just say hello but I realize as an American there is a cultural difference; although I know that if I had not initiated conversation with Quince when we first met, we might not have what we do today, because he is very shy. I am also shy but I was completely compelled by him just from looking into his eyes when we were introduced, so I had to try.

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Luna...North America is very different from Europe. If I was in Europe this would not be an issue. Being half-French and half-British, I'm not used to the way men and women interact here in Canada.

I have noticed that in general Canadians differ in their method of looking at attractive women than the Europeans.

 

In Europe men and indeed women too, are not afraid to stare, to ogle, to give blatant looks and this makes it easy to start conversations, people are more free with their emotions. When I first came here I thought I was in zombie-land, people are superficially polite but not really very free in public with emotions.

In Canada, men seem to be almost afraid to look at attractive women (is it all this sexual harassment suits that have them so subtle in their habits?). Canadians have perfected the corner-of-the-eye technique where they do everything they can to look without being noticed. They look at you when they think you will not notice, they glance, they squint and peer as if trying to catch a glimpse before they get caught.

I asked some blokes about it here, they said 'its rude to stare, so we avoid doing it openly'....hmmm

 

Sometimes, indeed mostly, I find it annoying, I'm used to men appreciating women openly. The Canadians tell me that is considered sleazy but where I grew up, it is normal to have the Mediterranean French, Italian men and others scream out 'tu est belle gazelle' or 'ciao bella...' In England, even though much of the populace have sticks up their bottoms, the men are also not shy. I lived in Paris and the metro was a free for all and I was frequently picked up by or picking up some handsome stranger....

 

Anyway, back to the question: do OW and Sexology mix ok???

Edited by Indigo
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Anyway, back to the question: do OW and Sexology mix ok???

 

It's not that they DON'T mix ok, it's just that the entire balance of the intent of the mixes would be changed. Neither would be what they were designed to be. You'd be turning Sexology, which is supposed to be a more intimate mix, into a social mix. And maybe that's exactly what you need!

 

 

As far as Canadian men go...I know what you mean, Indigo, and that's exactly why Canadian men are my FAVORITES on the whole planet.

Canadian men, in my experience at least, are raised to believe, and I mean REALLY believe, that men and women are equal partners in life. They don't treat you like you couldn't possibly know what you are talking about because you are a woman - like sooooooooooooooooooooooo many American men do. They don't patronize. And when they do come to treat you like a lady, rather than like a hockey buddy, there are none more chivalrous. and sincerely so.

 

It's definitely a cultural divide. What you see as aloof, I see as respectful. What you crave, would make me want to smack a guy upside the head. :)

 

Good luck, Honey!!!!!

:lol:

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This general question, "How do I get my TG to take the initiative?" seems to come up a lot with women... women often want us guys to man up and take the lead. I don't think there is any pheromone blend that will make a guy do that. A lot of us blokes are often intimidated by beautiful women... we are often made to feel that our natural desire for you is an imposition on you, that it is dirty or wrong, and women have the power to make men feel humiliated or ashamed. And men fear shame far more than they fear physical harm. So that's probably why he is not taking the initiative here. Long story short: if you wait passively for this guy to make the first move, nothing will happen :lol:

 

Tezza, let's take a step further. I'm an Asian and have been exposed to both the Eastern & Western cultures. I'm no expert in either culture of course. I agree with what you have said so I will, in such situation, I will make the first move. I might make the second move if he's worth the efforts and hopefully he takes the hint or signs of encouragement that it's his turn to move. Does this eagerness make it a less desirable "catch" for him since the old saying that men are born hunters? These are based on the assumption that both parties are attracted to each other.

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Luna...North America is very different from Europe.

 

Yes I'm aware, hence my comment that I realized there are cultural differences.

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Thanks Mara for your comments and Luna, Joc too! I see what you're driving at, Mara I suppose you have a point as regards the equality factor although one gets used to what one grows up with!

Maybe I should try a social mix although I think in time only, if no further progress is made... for the moment I'm just having way too much fun watching the boy in question following me around like a helpless little puppy dog wagging his tail and panting ;-)

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JOC: I think it depends on the individual to a great extent. Speaking for myself, I'm very shy so it's actually a bit of a relief when the woman makes the first move. I don't think it makes her any less desirable, although I'm sure some guys might think that way.

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It's not that they DON'T mix ok, it's just that the entire balance of the intent of the mixes would be changed. Neither would be what they were designed to be. You'd be turning Sexology, which is supposed to be a more intimate mix, into a social mix. And maybe that's exactly what you need!

 

 

As far as Canadian men go...I know what you mean, Indigo, and that's exactly why Canadian men are my FAVORITES on the whole planet.

Canadian men, in my experience at least, are raised to believe, and I mean REALLY believe, that men and women are equal partners in life. They don't treat you like you couldn't possibly know what you are talking about because you are a woman - like sooooooooooooooooooooooo many American men do. They don't patronize. And when they do come to treat you like a lady, rather than like a hockey buddy, there are none more chivalrous. and sincerely so.

 

It's definitely a cultural divide. What you see as aloof, I see as respectful. What you crave, would make me want to smack a guy upside the head. :w00t:

 

Good luck, Honey!!!!!

:shocked:

 

Oooooh, I know what you mean Potion Master. Being RESPECTED is such a turn on. I realize that people enjoy eye candy for sure but to be viewed as more than that means so much more. Sometimes I feel so old fashioned cuz I'm in my mid 20's and hate getting cat calls and guys trying to pick me up, I think "they don't even know me, GAWD, just talk some and treat me right", lol, my friends think I'm nuts that I get so annoyed but I really love the respectful guys that just come up and start chatting without having to put their desperation out there with gawking stares and sexed up talk. Those men really are the brave ones. : )

 

Back to the discussion: Good luck Indigo with your guy. You said you might try a social mix, I think Luna said Popularity Potion and I know for me I use Sparkle Fuchsia, I stole it from my Mom : ), it's AMAZING, you need to buy a sample.

 

I know you said you're a bit too proud and he is too, so maybe before you leave the gym next time you can just smile, wink and walk away, or even wave. If it's just stares and no talking try some other form of communication like that. Since it's before you leave it's like you are leaving the door open for next time he's there, see if he reciprocates with a hello the next time. Or try to catch him outside of the gym like in the parking lot. I know it might sound weird but I am one of those people that kinda morph in different environments, I don't pose or anything I just feel like there is a time and place for some things and maybe if he's so shy it's because he's uncomfortable with the idea of mixing gym time with picking up girls, even though it IS a good place to meet people and flaunt your goods :P I know at the gym I used to go to they had some major issues with a group of guys that were scaring away some of the ladies, so they had to change up their rules and stuff. So maybe it's just the atmosphere he's not comfortable with? He sounds intimidated, maybe even lace would work but I know you said you already tried est. Hmmmm, well let us know how it goes.

Edited by honeybee716
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Honeybee, thanks for the detailed response and sagacious advice! It has really made me think more thoroughly about how you're spot on as per the mood the gym can have. I've been going for years as I used to compete in sports and you're so right in that groups and modes of behaviour prevail that make action constrained by certain scenarios.

 

Sadly there is no parking lot nor even a bar (my old gym had one) and you're right those are prime zones to escape the gym mood, gym people, gym gossip and talk one on one with much less tension.

 

I think you have understood the problem well, the gym has a certain mood and there's always people around watching whats going on therefore talking to anybody becomes a public affair, visible on the gym 'theatre' or 'stage' as people on the various bits of equipment are observing everything and everyone around them and there's a fair bit of gossip about the various people who frequent the gym.

 

Add to that, as I noted, Puppy dog is the proud type, he's trying (as most men do in the gym) to be the bulldog, the Heman, Master of the Barbell Universe, play it really nonchalant and tuff as he curls and squats and what not. If the gym is like a theatre then he is attempting to play the role of that cool, strong guy and he plays it pretty well as he probably is one of the strongest men around, he squats 3 plates each side.

 

So in the sense that the cool strong guy has established himself as a dominant successful personality in the gym cast, I'm sure he does not want to make a donkey of himself by trying to chat up some chick in public only to be rebuffed. I guess its my job to make him feel more secure.

However likewise I also don't want to make a mule of myself by being seen 'chatting up' the cool guy. So I have to make it subtle.

 

I think the reason why EST is working is because it changes the mood. I think the EST works as there is already so much testosterone flying about left right and center as men pump iron, that using pure cops would maybe increase the aggression but simultaneously introducing EST somehow tones it all down, makes pup deflate to a more mellow level.

 

I know that EST can make men chivalrous and I observed as I put away the 45s the other day, he almost came over to help me, but something stopped him, he made two steps forward as he saw my small lady hands grabbing the weights but then, poof, two steps back again.... hmmm

So the thing now is to open up the communication alleys and in such an environment its not easy.

 

I don't have Popularity potion, its on its way though as I just saw my latest order has been shipped!

 

Thanks again for the advice... I'll be planning and scheming as we women do until the next time I see him and the sexology will at least have him :dog1:

Edited by Indigo
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Honeybee, thanks for the detailed response and sagacious advice! It has really made me think more thoroughly about how you're spot on as per the mood the gym can have. I've been going for years as I used to compete in sports and you're so right in that groups and modes of behaviour prevail that make action constrained by certain scenarios.

 

Sadly there is no parking lot nor even a bar (my old gym had one) and you're right those are prime zones to escape the gym mood, gym people, gym gossip and talk one on one with much less tension.

 

I think you have understood the problem well, the gym has a certain mood and there's always people around watching whats going on therefore talking to anybody becomes a public affair, visible on the gym 'theatre' or 'stage' as people on the various bits of equipment are observing everything and everyone around them and there's a fair bit of gossip about the various people who frequent the gym.

 

Add to that, as I noted, Puppy dog is the proud type, he's trying (as most men do in the gym) to be the bulldog, the Heman, Master of the Barbell Universe, play it really nonchalant and tuff as he curls and squats and what not. If the gym is like a theatre then he is attempting to play the role of that cool, strong guy and he plays it pretty well as he probably is one of the strongest men around, he squats 3 plates each side.

 

So in the sense that the cool strong guy has established himself as a dominant successful personality in the gym cast, I'm sure he does not want to make a donkey of himself by trying to chat up some chick in public only to be rebuffed. I guess its my job to make him feel more secure.

However likewise I also don't want to make a mule of myself by being seen 'chatting up' the cool guy. So I have to make it subtle.

 

I think the reason why EST is working is because it changes the mood. I think the EST works as there is already so much testosterone flying about left right and center as men pump iron, that using pure cops would maybe increase the aggression but simultaneously introducing EST somehow tones it all down, makes pup deflate to a more mellow level.

 

I know that EST can make men chivalrous and I observed as I put away the 45s the other day, he almost came over to help me, but something stopped him, he made two steps forward as he saw my small lady hands grabbing the weights but then, poof, two steps back again.... hmmm

So the thing now is to open up the communication alleys and in such an environment its not easy.

 

I don't have Popularity potion, its on its way though as I just saw my latest order has been shipped!

 

Thanks again for the advice... I'll be planning and scheming as we women do until the next time I see him and the sexology will at least have him :dog1:

 

Indigo, I'm so glad I helped out some, at least you have some what of a new angle to help your scheming ways, he he . The gym atmosphere deff sounds intense but you sound like a super smart lady who I'm sure can figure out a plan to finally make that puppy do more than drooool. :)

 

EST does sound like its working good for you, yay. And the Popularity Potion will be a fun experiment to try this coming week. You'll have to keep us informed because I'm really rooting for you : ) He just HAS to open up eventually, how much can that man resist?

 

I wish I had more advice to give. I know in my massage therapy program we learned the power of intent. It's kind of an energy technique I guess. I've heard stories of how some women say that once they ACT wanted and like they are the sexiest woman in the room, they ARE treated just as that and noticed more than ever. I know your guy already notices you but maybe you can put some kind of intent into it..............? It sounds weird I know, but some people live by it, the universal law of attraction. They just dwell on the positive and eventually opportunities arise. So I'm sure with your good intentions, LP'sawesome pheros, your gym rockin' bod, and time, you should get your way girl. :sunnysmile:

 

<3

Edited by honeybee716
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JOC: I think it depends on the individual to a great extent. Speaking for myself, I'm very shy so it's actually a bit of a relief when the woman makes the first move. I don't think it makes her any less desirable, although I'm sure some guys might think that way.

 

Human beings are so interesting.

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I know that my Darling was happy i made the first move. He is normally an agressive guy but that didn't scare him off.

 

I think I used to make the first move in the past. Life is too short to hang around and wait.

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I think I used to make the first move in the past. Life is too short to hang around and wait.

 

 

Ain't that the truth?! I have made the first move more than a few times......

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We seem to have a lot of Alpha females here. Nothing better than strong women who know what, or who, we want and go after it. I think it is awesome.

 

 

 

Alpha definitely describes me.....and, I make no excuses for myself nor what I want.....

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After skimming thru this I didn't see anyone suggest Heart & Soul, you want a social that puts you on a pedestal & will give him the impression of your higher value baby! On the right man H&S brings out his inner knight in shining armour like no other blend, makes him more chatty, i.e. more likely to spill his guts (or say hello) & is an Est. heavy blend.

 

But do you mean you haven't even exchanged a "hello?" Because sometimes that's all it takes to begin a conversation

Luna, you slay me :)

 

Indigo darling you're definitely helping me to understand why European men are so friendly!

Edited by Beccah1
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Thanks for all the answers! No I dont have Heart and Soul, pity as from the reviews it seems like just the ticket to talky talky land.

 

I miss European men and their friendliness, it makes things so much easier! No 'ins' today to strike up conversation. Why do the men here make it so bloody difficult????????

 

Today I went to the gym dressed to kill, tight trousers, tight top ad sexeam to show off assets. Of course I also had on pheros: this time I tried Lace.

 

When I get there puppy is training with a group of 5 guys, deadlifting etc.

Talk about intimidating. I'm used to male-dominated areas, on my Uni sport team in Europe I was the only female but when you are not part of the group, 5 men and a barbell can seem like a troop of gorillas, competing silverbacks.

I noticed pup doing that annoying thing again, looking at me when he thinks I'm not looking. Frankly the European men may come across to North American women as rude but I find it more honest to look and be open about it rather than sneaking peeks and then pretending not to. European men are so much more open with their attentions and give you opportunities to talk to them or they just throw a hello out. Men here just don't do that so I have nothing to work with....

 

Anyway I think pup is a part time student and part time trainer at the gym from what I overheard of the conversation, and the gorillas were all trainers due to train their clients post work out: yes espionage is a strong point of mine heehee...

After the gorillas were done pup went to train some bloke, I passed him on the stairway and he did that typical Canadian thing I felt like screaming: I try to make eye contact but instead of making eye contact he's surreptitiously looking at the reflection of my derrière in the window, I know because I saw where his gaze was headed.

 

Anyway the Lace did work its magic, later I needed to move a barbell to do lunges for said derrière and another trainer (not pup it should have been him) suddenly offered to help me move it. Two mins later another guy is offering to unload some weights from a machine I want to use.

 

After the work out I stopped off at the pharmacy to buy some cream for my frozen hands. I started talking to the lady at the check out about how this is my first Canadian winter and I am scared of the extreme cold which I have never experienced before and she suddenly gets all concerned and tells me how I need to look after myself and giving me all sorts of advice even to the extent that she leaves the check out to show me hand cream for my hands and she noticed they were looking very dry from the cold!

So the lace worked, just not in the way I would have liked...

 

I'll just have to wait again until next time and hope he is training alone as at least it gives me somewhat of an opportunity rather than having to permeate into the testosterone-oozing silverback club.

Edited by Indigo
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Frankly the European men may come across to North American women as rude but I find it more honest to look and be open about it rather than sneaking peeks and then pretending not to. European men are so much more open with their attentions and give you opportunities to talk to them or they just throw a hello out. Men here just don't do that so I have nothing to work with....

 

Well that's the cognitive dissonance between the viewpoints, culturally, as we understand you're coming from a completely different orientation and therefore the expected strategies may not pan out as you would like. I think the primary difference is that while men the world 'round may objectify women in the same way, here in North America they are taught not to be obvious about it. But yes, here blatant staring is considered intrusive and rude unless you were to actually speak to a person within moments of doing so. And if I were groped on the Metro (highly unlikely, but you never know), someone would end up with a broken hand.

Edited by luna65
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Indigo darling you're definitely helping me to understand why European men are so friendly!

 

Wow! And I thought the Americans are the friendly lot after the Spanish and the Italians ......

 

And ...... I'm kind of disappointed then .... I was not 'picked up' when I was on vacation in Europe 2 months ago. Okay, I had a few 'hellos' and stares (prob due to language barrier), etc when I was alone but nothing more. I hope it was because I was not alone most of the time and I was not hanging out at the right places. My guy friend was totally suprised that no one picked me up either! ..... sob, sob ...... so sad!

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I say use your Lace and when he is by himself see if he can suggest a different exercise to work your glutes. At least it breaks the ice.

 

LMAO!!!!! That would be such a cheeky thing to ask!!!! Love it!

But don't think I have the gall to do that!

 

JOC where did you travel? Please don't feel bad, men will approach but they expect you to also do some legwork plus with language barriers it might be hard....but the good thing is if they are interested they will do some blatant looking and talking which makes it easier to 'follow a lead' unlike here..... arggghhh!

Edited by Indigo
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Indigo I'm guessing you'd never do it -- but, if anything, if you said something to him (or even just gave him The Eye, or a smirk) not just DESPITE the other dudes being there, but BECAUSE they are there -- omg, you would make his YEAR - you'd make his LIFE -- you would make him the biggest hero ever -- he would NEVER forget it -- not least because the other guys would die of envy and he would know that!. I've gotten up the nerve to do this, exactly once, and ended up becoming friends with all of them (more than that with the TG), and I literally cannot overstate the staggering effect it has on the TG's ego. --- They assured me it would have been true even if the TG hadn't been into me ... and it's pretty clear yours is, so it'd be all the more impactful.

Just a thought! :rolleyes:

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I was in Switzerland and Italy to meet some friends and I befriended a Swiss girl during my stay in Geneva. Some men rather helpful when I was sightseeing alone but nothing extraordinary. Anyway, I went on the vacation for some quiet time and to get away from the pressure here.

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