Phero Goddesses, Your advice!

[Pele]

Hello all! I am new to this forum and am delighted to have found a place full of ladies (and gents of course) discussing these fun topics. Yay!

 

Ok, so I wouldn't call myself a total newbie, but I have certianly not had nearly as much field experience as most of you. This is why I am hoping to get some ideas on how to best assist my sweet SO. My arsenal is mainly LS products, as I have only just recently discovered LP...however, I just spent a small fortune on an order that is currently en route to ME!!!!

 

Ok, so my man is in a real rough patch. I mean...a REAL one. He's struggling with some depression, guilt, self-doubt, recovery from addiction, only to mention a few. We don't live together and only see eachother about twice a week. He is not an Alpha male, but more the intellectual, socially awkward type. He has a gentle, sensitive feel about him, yet is not overly demonstrative with his feelings.

 

We have been together for years and have a natural comfort/attraction combo between us that is really wonderful.

 

So far, his most delicious responses have been from :

 

-heavy dose of EoW covered with Alter Ego (LS- Anol, rone, none)

-a mix I make of Edge, Alter Ego, Cleo (Anol + Cops), and EoW

 

He definitely seems to respond better to an edgier mix.... seems there needs to be some none in there for him...and cops of course.

 

So I have Beta nol, Est, the entire Bohemian Cats collection, plus a whole slew of other goodies on their way (APC, Super Primal, Liquid Trust, Sexology, Passion & Desire....and more!)

 

Ok, so I'm so intrigued with Est & Beta nol.....I can't wait to test them out..... has anyone had any experiences mixing them with small amounts of none?

 

I want my sweet man to feel connected, relaxed, and safe with me.....yet I also want to keep and enhance the steaminess..... I want our time together to be as, ahem, beneficial as possible.

I would be so appreciative of any ideas or advice!!!

[luna65]

I want my sweet man to feel connected, relaxed, and safe with me.....yet I also want to keep and enhance the steaminess.....

 

How I do this is primarily with beta-nol in regard to unwinding mine (and he is wound very tight indeed). I think Perfect Match would be the best one to try first in regards to the feelings you're wanting to enhance.

 

The second part is with sex-specific mixes to magnify the chemistry: Blatant Invitation, Sexpionage, BANG!

[Potion Master]

Est & Beta-Nol can be a very emotional mix. Balance carefully or you can turn your guy into a puddle.

 

Our Sexology Blend is Est, Beta-Nol and Cops. Heavier on the Cops and Est and lighter on the Beta-Nol to keep it in an intimate and sensual direction.

 

Our Empathy Potion on the other hand is much heavier on the Beta-Nol, also has EST, DHEAS and a touch of Alpha-Nol, NO cops. This is a blend we blind tested in the forum for a few weeks before release and more than once, people reported that tears were shed! This can be very cathartic and possibly a direction you may want to go in to help him heal, but just be aware, Est & Beta-Nol together can be a bit of a roller coaster when the Beta-Nol is in the lead. And Beta-Nol packs more of a punch in smaller doses than most of the molecules too...something else to keep in mind when trying to balance your mix.

 

Adding NONE? Hmmm, I'm thinking that might just add irritation to an emotional combo? Anyone else want to comment on that? If you do introduce NONE into your mix, do so in a fraction of the others. I mean, like 2% of the whole, or else headaches and grumpiness abounds.

 

Let us know how it goes!! Good Luck!

[quietguy]

It is interesting that he needs some none in there - to build up his sexual aggression (in the healthy sense). Usually guys who are exposed to strong cops - testosterone production suddenly spikes and that causes that healthy sexual aggression. Maybe the depression and everything else he is going through is suppressing that. Some anti-dressants may cause that if he is taking any. Or maybe - and this is probably not the right time to bring it up - his natural testosterone production is low.

 

APC and Super Primal are strong but I personally think their flagship product over there that most guys swear by is NPA. Good stuff. I have never had a reaction with Liquid Trust but give it a try. Maybe the current version is better. I do better with beta nols than oxytocin based products. There is a lot of literature that suggests oxytocin burns off real fast and you have to get it right under someones nose quickly.

 

Obviously we do not know the history of your relationship. Mara's Empathy Potion idea is good especially if you want to get to the emotional base of things and build up from there. I also think her recommendation to keep the none out of this particular mix is right on.

 

If you want guy psychology from a guy here it is. If not, skip the next couple paragraphs. I know you are working hard to keep the passion in there to avoid this but be careful in the long run to remain partners. It is truely great that you are so supportive and are trying to help him through al this but be sure you do not turn into his "savior" or his mom. Make sure he knows you need him to be the Man, the Guy in this relationship and you want and expect the romance part. From him. Fairly often.

 

I will say that self-understanding and awareness are key if you want to help him get there. Knowing why you think the way you do or react they way you do to certain situations. It often drives back to understanding the dynamics of your family of origin. I would guess by now you know what situations pushed him towards the addiction. I do not know how old you two are. What a lot of ladies do not realize is how long the effects of getting bullied in middle and high school can sometimes last in guys. Creates a lot self-doubt about your manhood at a time when guys are trying to figure it out. Pushes people into the wrong crowd and bad situations whose effects can last even longer.

 

And as you know a lot of guys have probems with showing their emotions. What really helps there is if you just tell him "I really like it when you say X or do X. it makes me feel loved/appreciated/etc. I wish you would say/do it a little more." Yes - sometimes it has to be that basic with us.

 

If he would be willing to wear some of these products himself there is <3 Throb. It is for guys. It is a strong sexual mix with none in it but also a dose of cops. Maybe if he put some of that high on his chest he would get self-effects and react to the pheromones. In addition to the reaction you should get from it. I have done pretty well with it with my wife and no bad side effects so far although I have not been wearing it when we sometimes go club hopping.

[Dolly]

My man does well with -none as well......but that said, I don't think I'd do -none with Beta-Nol. I have gotten good results pairing beta-nol with Treasured Hearts for when we need to have "a talk".....

 

If your man likes more dominant blends, you might try some Leather.....I like Leather and Dominance.....Blatant Invitation is more on the dominant side as well. My man doesn't respond well to high doses of Est unless it is tempered with something more dominant. I would start slow on the Est and go easy with it......

 

As a mood lifter, try some LAM, or even Open Windows......that one can switch my man's mood in half a second.....

Edited April 27, 2012 by Dolly

[missdarlyncherie]

I just wanted to say Welcome Pele!

You've already gotten great advice from everyone...can't add anything other than to let us know what you end up using and what results you get i case someone else needs it...

 

Also, don't want to threadjack but isn't it time QG gets a journal of some sort possibly in the form of an advice column for us ladies for our men?

[tyvey]

Hm funny if it were me I would go more in the opposite direction of what he already is/is feeling, ie, he sounds quite est/b-nol-y already -- ie, rather than phero-ing him into wider/deeper wallowing, if it were me I'd try balancing with something uplifting like open windows or even straight a-nol. I personally don't have the patience to learn/try blends on my own but my first thought, when reading what you described as working well for him, was Sexpionage.

Edited April 27, 2012 by tyvey

[BlueBear]

Also, don't want to threadjack but isn't it time QG gets a journal of some sort possibly in the form of an advice column for us ladies for our men?

 

[Bella15]

Welcome, Pele! You got some great advice already, and please come back and share your results...

 

& seconding (whoops - thirding - BB was faster than me, lol) MDC's suggestion about a jornal for QG!

Edited April 27, 2012 by Molls

[luna65]

Mara's Empathy Potion idea is good especially if you want to get to the emotional base of things and build up from there.

If you've actually used this I'd be interesting in reading about your experience; not a lot of people have commented on Heart To Heart.

[Pele]

WOW!!! Oh my goodness, I have SO grateful for all of your advice!!! I have to say that it felt kinda "off" when I thought of using none with est. Thank you all for confirming that!

 

QG- Much gratitude for a gent's perspective, and you are quite perceptive. He is not on any antidepressants, but is currently in outpatient rehab. He most certainly is depleted and out of whack hormonally and neurochemically.... and yes, we are not going to try to fix everything at once. It must all be taken at a doable pace that feels inspiring rather than overwhelming.

I have The Edge which is the exact formula as NPA, only NPA is many many times stronger. And I love it. It certainly has its place! He seems to love it too.

The bit about not turning into his "savior" or "mom". This is exactly what I am wanting to avoid....You see, I single handedly organized and successfully pulled off an intervention for him. Got him into rehab, united all the (few) people in his life. And now I control his money. By control, I only mean that I HAVE it and am his bridge to paying bills and buying what he needs. He just simply can't have access to his money. He knows this and is totally on board. His family of origin...yeah, I see why he's an addict for sure. Where I ABSOLUTELY want him to be the man and romance me, I know this is not the time to be working on relationship issues like that. At least not in a direct way. Encouragement to grow and lean in those directions (enhanced with Mones) would be lovely. I am very open with my communication and have always been straightforward with my needs. He knows what he needs to work on (and he WANTS to grow in those ways).

I have grown in this situation in ways that continue to amaze me. I have very proud of us both. I don't NEED him for anything. I am in a place of graceful allowing and gentle intent....if that makes sense to you. I take care of myself and look forward to when he has more to offer.

 

So in the mean time, I feel if we're not setting the bed (or the kitchen floor) on fire from time to time........I don't want the cuddling and comfort bit to turn into a mom thing!!!

 

I will have to wait to purchase more goodies and work with what I have for now (and what is in the mail...YAY!!!) Although, when it is time to buy again, I will take every single one of these suggestions in to serious account.

 

At this point, I'm not sure what mone approach I will take. My beta nol should be here today.... if it does, perhaps tonight I will try just a little of it with a high dose of cops. If not....well, I don't know.

 

 

Love to you all!!! I will most certainly keep you posted, and feel free to add any ideas if they come!!!!

 

Light,

Pele

[quietguy]

Thank you for the kind words and I wish you both the best.

 

Are you the Hawaiian goddess of fire or are you a Brazilian soccer fan?

Edited April 27, 2012 by quietguy

[Pele]

Thank you for the kind words and I wish you both the best.

 

Are you the Hawaiian goddess of fire or are you a Brazilian soccer fan?

 

Hehe Goddess all the way!

[quietguy]

Hehe Goddess all the way!

 

Then we have met before on the big island ... nice to see you again!

[Dolly]

Also, don't want to threadjack but isn't it time QG gets a journal of some sort possibly in the form of an advice column for us ladies for our men?

 

I think this would be a great idea!

[Raq On]

Welcome Pele. It sure sounds like you've got a lot on your plate right now. My heart goes out to you. One thing for sure is that you will get excellent advice about phero's etc here, as well as encouragement and kind ears who listen.

[Calii]

I just wanted to say Welcome Pele!

You've already gotten great advice from everyone...can't add anything other than to let us know what you end up using and what results you get i case someone else needs it...

 

Also, don't want to threadjack but isn't it time QG gets a journal of some sort possibly in the form of an advice column for us ladies for our men?

...and an extra warm welcome from me too! The very best of luck to you...and him

[Pele]

Hm funny if it were me I would go more in the opposite direction of what he already is/is feeling, ie, he sounds quite est/b-nol-y already -- ie, rather than phero-ing him into wider/deeper wallowing, if it were me I'd try balancing with something uplifting like open windows or even straight a-nol. I personally don't have the patience to learn/try blends on my own but my first thought, when reading what you described as working well for him, was Sexpionage.

 

Well, no packages in the mail for me today. Boooooo!!! Looks like I'm going with Anol & cops and covering with a lovely Vanilla, Vetiver, Patchouli, Ylang-Ylang blend. I've been in a foul mood most of the day and *thankfully* feeling some relief already. We'll see how it goes!

[Beccah]

FIrstly, welcome!

Secondly, in my experience, my SO does not do well with Est. heavy blends when he has fallen off the wagon. I think he has a chemical imbalance, but his negative reactions to est. heavy blends are always more pronounced when he's relapsed & following his recovery period. My advice is to steer clear of the "mushy" blends until he seems more balanced.

[Pele]

FIrstly, welcome!

Secondly, in my experience, my SO does not do well with Est. heavy blends when he has fallen off the wagon. I think he has a chemical imbalance, but his negative reactions to est. heavy blends are always more pronounced when he's relapsed & following his recovery period. My advice is to steer clear of the "mushy" blends until he seems more balanced.

 

Beccah, thank you for this! Have you found anything that really helped during this period?

[goddesslynne]

Pele, welcome!! What an absolutely brilliant thread! Although I don't have these issues with Mr. Goddess, I am going to refer back to this thread when I have more time, in order to learn from you and QG.

 

I will chime in on one blend: Perfect Match. EVERY time I wear this I have excellent results with the hubby!! It helps encourage just the right level of affection and sexiness for us!!

[halo0073]

FIrstly, welcome!

Secondly, in my experience, my SO does not do well with Est. heavy blends when he has fallen off the wagon. I think he has a chemical imbalance, but his negative reactions to est. heavy blends are always more pronounced when he's relapsed & following his recovery period. My advice is to steer clear of the "mushy" blends until he seems more balanced.

 

That is valuable information! Thanks for sharing that beccah

[Pele]

Well......... I have very little to report. We had a pleasant evening, a tiny bit of cuddling and a small amount of good, meaningful conversation, but zero romance/passion. The Anol & cops combo has proven to not be effective for him once again. On the upside, this is great information to have and it did help lift my mood. And there is a really good lesson in there for me - the importance of perspective! No matter what brilliant, magical potion I am wearing to enhance or encourage whatever it is I am wanting..... it is VITAL for me to remember that no one but me is responsible for my happiness. And that the only thing I can control is my own self. Lovely me.

 

Tonight we have a bon fire party to attend. There could be some tensions with 1 or 2 people who may attend (really it is their problem with my straightforward honesty and lack of tolerance for their BS! LOL) My Beta-nol will for sure be here today...... with the smokey environment and social situation & him..... and pondering what to use.

 

I will keep reporting to you, so many thanks for all the input. This is a truly wonderful community! MUAH!!!

[halo0073]

Oh boy, they should look out if you are already straightforward and honest. Bnol could amp that like mad. And don't be surprised if they talk back

[Pele]

Oh boy, they should look out if you are already straightforward and honest. Bnol could amp that like mad. And don't be surprised if they talk back

 

LOL! Yes, I was NOT planning on wearing Bnol tonight just for that reason. Tonight may be a a mone-free evening! Hehehe!

[Calii]

No matter what brilliant, magical potion I am wearing to enhance or encourage whatever it is I am wanting..... it is VITAL for me to remember that no one but me is responsible for my happiness. And that the only thing I can control is my own self.

 

and knowing that is...priceless

 

[Beccah]

I usually stick to a-nol/cops or more dominant blends with my SO. Perfect Match & LFM are exception, but I wouldn't test them when he's particularly unbalanced. Open Windows seems to work nicely no matter what.

[Pele]

I usually stick to a-nol/cops or more dominant blends with my SO. Perfect Match & LFM are exception, but I wouldn't test them when he's particularly unbalanced. Open Windows seems to work nicely no matter what.

 

Thank you for this, Beccah. a-nol & cops by themselves seem to not offer much assistance with him, but the self-effects are always lovely.

 

 

For the bonfire gathering..... I found myself not really wanting to go, feeling kinda *meh*. So I decided to use some mones mainly for the self-effects and I ended up having quite a great evening. SO was sweet, romantic, fondled me whenever I bent over to toast my marshmallows : D My best girlfriend was talkative and giggly when she is usually quiet and shy around people she doesn't know.

 

I used Bnol, Anol, none, and cops. I did have wonderful self-effects and even felt a bit..... altered or high....a feeling completely new to me in my pheromone usage. Since this was my first time dancing with Bnol I'm attributing it to that. It was very interesting indeed!!!

[Beccah]

I think you would enjoy Heart & Soul then. It's really a lovely blend. My SO reacts negatively to it, but I love the self effects & everyone else that I expose to it seems to get really starry eyed.

[Pele]

So a little update..... SO and I went on a road trip and I thought "AHA! perfect opportunity to test some things out since we'll be stuck in a car for hours on end." So I tested EST alone and with a tinch of Beta-nol. Nada.

 

He has a rather diminished sense of smell though... this would explain why the 2 times I've had really really good results with him, I was wearing heavy doses that I reapplied at least once. With this in mind, I tried something last night.

 

I slathered on SexologyIII.... he didn't really like the scent and neither did I. I'm starting to wonder if I can do ANYTHING with honey.... I'm stubbornly hoping for the best on this since I have full bottles of PG, OCCO SLF and many others that have honey in them. *crossing fingers & toes* anyway, I digress...

 

I then sprayed 3 short sprays of EST in hair.

 

THEN..... 8 drops EOW. Yep. 4 drops on each inner thigh. Tried to cover with SexologyIII but ended up having to cover with LP Pink which worked beautifully (and he likes the scent of).

 

So we're going about our business for the evening. I didn't think much of it until bedtime. And all I'll say is......HOLY CRAP!!!! Yeah.... Whew... I won't get all XXX rated on you all, but I will say that he was much much more verbally expressive in a sweet, sexy way. This is rather unusual for him and is just lovely for both of us. RIGHT ON!!! Me likey!

Edited May 9, 2012 by Pele