Lisbet Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Hello to all the wonderful people at the LPMP forum! I feel like I know you all and this wonderful community a bit already as I have been lurking around for a week or two, reading what seems like hundreds of reviews and trying to figure out what I want to order. Sorry in advance for any weird choices of words, English is a foreign language to me. I found my way over here from another forum (PT), which I initially found because I decided to do some research on human pheromone products and whether there are any that actually work. I guess I'm not the only one who started out on this road because of wanting to liven up their sex life. I'm a woman in my early thirties, married to a lovely man whom I have one small child with (preschooler). We've been together for almost 12 years now, lived together for 10 years, and been married for five and a half. I feel like we've come to a situation where we have lost that kind of spark, the feeling of a flirty, sexual atmosphere that we used to have. We've not had a downright relationship crisis, but at times I've also felt a bit alienated from him emotionally. Right now it's not that bad, we talk and joke and feel a general closeness to each other, but the sexual side is still a problem. We've had times when we'd only have sex once or twice a year. Now it's gone up to maybe once a month, but I'm still feeling sexually frustrated. I think I'd need it about 1-7 times a week to be happy and satisfied. There are probably several reasons behind our situation, some of which I might not be aware of. I'm sure that a big reason is that neither of us has really ever put our relationship and sex life first, especially after our child was born. For the longest time we were just mommy and daddy, nothing else. Also, he works a lot, at home also in the evenings, and is often exhausted, stressed and preoccupied. As for me, after giving birth I had trouble seeing myself as a sexual and desirable creature, which I'm sure has not helped a whole lot. And I've never been at ease with making the first move; in fact I often become most turned on if I feel that my man wants me. And as for him, I feel that he has some issues too, he even admits to being a bit uptight when it comes to sex. I mean, I'm literally a bundle of inhibitions myself but compared to him, I feel like a free love hippie chick. So, sex has become unfrequent and often very boring, as we don't talk a lot about it and don't experiment new things (which in turn is a bit counterproductive, as I feel it doesn't make us want it more). He says he's kind of ok with it, but I'm thinking it's just because he doesn't know what it could be like. I have to say though, I sometimes wonder whether it's something to do with his testosterone levels as well, and not just with being uptight and preoccupied with work. So, that's the sad situation we are in at the moment, though it's definitely not as bad as it used to be - at least we're talking about it. I'm not really expecting that I buy a bottle of pheromones and it does all the work for us by magically turning us into sex maniacs (though I wouldn't mind that every once in a while to be honest). I am however intrigued about whether a right kind of pheromone blend could lower our (especially his) inhibitions and make us (or him) more interested, assertive and aggressive. In my experience, problems like this are usually about getting stuck in a certain mindset, and a few positive experiences can change that mindset and get you moving in a different direction. A kind of positive affirmation. This being my starting point, I was initially interested in the strongly sexual pheromone blends. After reading about the products and their reviews here I've come to realize that pheromones could be used for so much more too. I do have some other issues as well, namely being rather shy and self-concious in many social situations, so I became very interested in the more social blends as well. I understand that LPMP has a long history in artisan perfumerie and that pheromones are a fairly recent addition. I haven't been interested in perfumes myself. I usually only have one commercial perfume at a time, which I use daily and for all occasions. BUT I have to say that after reading so much on the LPMP scents I'm REALLY looking forward to getting to sniff them for myself. I'm not an olfactory genius, so to speak. Rather an olfactory dummy. I believe I'm really bad at finding different notes in perfumes, and if someone asked me what kind of scents I usually like I would really be at a loss to answer. Honestly, I have no idea how to put scents into words. I know if I like something when I smell it on my skin, and some scents give me a headache, but I have no idea which ones those are. The commercial scents I use tend to come in pink bottles, but apart from that I don't know if they have anything in common. Reading the forum has been an interesting experience, trying to figure out if this or that reviewed item might be something I could like. Because I feel I really don't have a clue, I decided I'd just order a ****load of samples and find out for myself. Oh, and reading the forum has also constantly given me the munchies! So many scents are described in minute detail as being delicious or smelling like chocolate, cake, cupcakes, vanilla, banana, whipped cream... So I found I just had to have something to eat almost all the time! Here is what I ordered, and I'm really quite ashamed of the extensive list... But I wanted to get most of the stuff I really want to try at the same time because I live in Europe and I'm a bit anxious about how long it will take for me to get my order, if it gets stuck in customs and all. I figured I'll just get a LOT of samples at once so I won't feel like I need to immediately reorder and wait again. Not sure if that makes sense or not, but it made me feel better. Oh and THANK YOU Mara and LPMP for the newbie sampler sets! I wouldn't have been able to make such an extensive order without them! Full Bottles: Goddess of the Blue Moon w/ La Femme Mystere (spray) Get Happy w/ Treasured Hearts (spray) Sneaky Clean w/ SS4W (spray) UN Popularity Potion (spray 1x 60/40 alc/sil) UN Focus Potion (roll-on sil) Trials: Heart's Ease w/ Balm Bomb Compromising Positions w/ Sexpionage Beth's Blushing Milkmaid OCCO Blue OCCO Gold OCCO Pink OCCO SLF Cougar Potion Kitten Nip w/ Mother's Little Helper Honeyed Love Potion w/ Gotcha! Unbridled w/ La Femme Noire Phero Girl BAM! Sugared Vanilla & Honey Enduring Appeal w/ Cougar Soaked w/ Audacious Sexology Like A Magnet Pink Amber Bosom Bows w/ G2 Cuddle Bunny Stealing Heaven w/ Open Windows Tease w/ Lace Whew. I hope I got it all right. Well, anyway, I'm really glad to have found my way here! And when I get my order you might be seeing a bit more of me, once I get around to testing all that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 WOW, what a list! LOL....don't be ashamed! I think my first large order was longer than that! Good list to start with, for sure! The ones with Open Windows and Treasured Hearts are really good for increasing communication and bonding.....as for the sexual ones, you chose some of the best ones! The LAM, BAM, and OCCO are staples in my stash.....and sexpionage....wow, talk about a biting, clothes-ripping good time! LOL Welcome to the forum, and enjoy your new addiction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livinlavidacabo Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome!!! I've been there and am in the middle of it as well including the foreign country part so I completely relate! In my experience, and of course it differs for everyone, Treasured Hearts helped my family feel like a family again and Popularity Potion helped some with my own depression while making everyone else a little happier too ... which then helps to re-bond for the other "fun" stuff. My SO is stubborn so I haven't found the best "sexy" LP or LPw/phero's YET ... looks like you covered ALL of your bases. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bella15 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome, Lisbet!! First of all, if English is a foreign language to you, I certainly couldn't tell - you expressed yourself beautifully! Second - good job on doing your homework! You really did some research! I think you made GREAT choices, and I'm so excited for you!! I can't wait to hear how you like everything when you get your order!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goddesslynne Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome, Lisbet!! Beautiful list!! I look forward to reading your reviews!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missdarlyncherie Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Hi Lisbet! Yes, like Molls said...good job on researching the forum so completely! That's what I did when I first got here and I learned a lot. That is the best way to get started other than just getting all those samples and starting all the experimenting! I am glad you got so many to start with...you are going to be able to start weeding out ones that don't work for you and find ones you can't live without right away. I am sorry about your situation and am wishing the best for your relationship. The perfumes and pheros will spark your life up in ways you are not even expecting yet...let us know how they go for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hearts Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome! Great purchase! You will have a lot of fun here and trying out all the amazing goodies! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOC Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome to the forum, Lisbet! You've got a great order there! There are so much to discover here and enjoy your scent journey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Don't be ashamed, that's exactly how I would order if I had the money and was still new. You have a lot of fun coming your way. Be sure to come back and review your purchases! Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBear Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome Lisbet! And I agree with Molls. I certainly couldn't tell that English is a 2nd language for you! That's a great list you've got. I'm a huge fan lf La Femme Mystere and Cuddle Bunny. Another option is Perfect Match (can be found in Unisexy). It's great for increasing bonding. Add in some cops, and you're golden! Good luck, and have fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggers Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome, Lisbet! I'll second the vote for something with Perfect Match. It's amazing stuff. So is Cuddle Bunny. You've made a fantastic first order, too. Don't be ashamed. My first order looked something like that, too. But it's good to have a lot of different things on hand to try out. You can compare and contrast the effects of different pheros and perfumes. You're going to have a lot of fun! Nice to see you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowflake Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome to the forum, Lisbet! You ordered wonderful perfumes and phero blends. Especially Sneaky Clean, Enduring Appeal and Compromising Positions are some of my very favourites. I'm sure you'll love them, too. Try Compromising Positions with your hubby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome & good order. I must ask, have you thought about maybe getting him to the Doctor to see where his testosterone levels are at? If he's he's suffering form low levels, I think copulins can definitely help, but they would be much more effective if he's at 100%. Either way, I hope it works out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quietguy Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 (edited) Lisbet, Welcome to the forum. Wow - what an order - very impressive. Your English is great - I am impressed given it is not your primary language. Like the ladies have said - please get your husband to check his Testosterone levels. It could be a very simple fix. Lack of love life - my married with kids guy perspective: Psychologically - talk to him about being parents and lovers. Stress can be a real libido killer for guys too. Or it could be he might be concerned about more kids given his job and income. I am sure you could figure out a way around that without any suggestions from me lol. It could be he has a phsycological block about sex now that you are a mom (a family of origin issue). Kind of a thing as viewing you as Saint Mommy and sex would not be appropriate. Sounds weird but it has happened. Or it could be a combination of the fact that you said sex was never a primary concern before kids and that it stopped for a while after your child was born. Combine the two and he may have stopped thinking of you sexually overall. In either case, talk to him and let him know what you want. It might be a little difficult if you are shy in things like that but communications are key. Let him know that you are not Saint Mommy and not only is sex OK but really desired. You might have to initiate for a while to get things going again at first but he ought to get the idea. If he seems to balk a little try this: "Hey friend, if my back itched, would scratch you it for me" Of course he would say yes. Then you just come back and let him know you have a different kind of itch you need him to scratch ... Edited March 14, 2013 by quietguy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calii Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Welcome out of lurkdom,and great to read you ...excellent order choices and an excellent attitude of realistic expectations. I sense really good things ahead for you !!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liz Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 ATTA GIRL !! what an order ! Hi Lisbet ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raq On Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I couldn't have said it better than QuietGuy above. TALK to him, (just not with a laundry list of needs not being met-that creates more pressure) If it were me, I'd slather on a blend with Treasured Hearts phero in it and sit with him and say, "You know how much I love and adore you. You work so hard to make a home together with our family and I'm so grateful for that. I want to spend more time with you, ya know-without clothes kind of time..." Make it light, and complimentary. If he's shy about talking about sex, use humor. I know you said you like to feel "wanted" and that revs you up. I'm wired the same way. I don't mind being the aggressor (my hub and I are quite open with sex) but I have let him know that while he's an AWESOME lover, it turnes me on faster to be PURSUED, hey, less effort for him if he just throws a few naughty suggestions in my ear or in a text....Now he knows. It's been my experience that our men REALLY REALLY want to please us, they sometimes just get lost. We're a bit more complicated as to what we like sexually than they are, a bit more picky. so by all means be gentlle, complimetary, use some light humor and tell him what you like. I mean , who wouldn't want to be told they are amazing and their woman/man wants to spend more time with them? It's whe we nag that shuts them down. Good luck Now as for your list! WOWZA!!! GREAT selections. I'd save the compromising positions for after you've had that little talk though, it leads to more bitey, animal sex and if your man is shy (until you set him straight) it may send out confusing vibes and end up frustrating him and he won't know why. Start off with La Femm, Get Happy, or Sneaky Clean. Those are sexy phero's but not the big guns IMO. Have fun. You guys love each other and will get over this hump (pun intended) but you've got to literarally schedule it with a pre schooler around. I had to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NuTrix Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 In either case, talk to him and let him know what you want. It might be a little difficult if you are shy in things like that but communications are key. Let him know that you are not Saint Mommy and not only is sex OK but really desired. You might have to initiate for a while to get things going again at first but he ought to get the idea. And this too...except do it while wearing BAM! and Cuddle Bunny together! It'll help you BOTH open up Welcome to the forum Lisbet! You made a delightful "haul" with truly excellent choices - you won't be disappointed! Happy experimenting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbet Posted March 14, 2013 Author Share Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) How lovely to come back here and see so many replies! First of all, THANK YOU everyone for making me feel so welcome! And thank you for the reassurances concerning my not-so-small first order. I really did do a lot of researching first, but you can put it all down to my perfectionist tendencies... It's not easy to be wired that way, but I really can't help it most of the time. But yes, I do fear this might have been the first step down a road of serious addiction! Well, of course first I'll just have to wait and see how it all works out for me. Welcome & good order. I must ask, have you thought about maybe getting him to the Doctor to see where his testosterone levels are at? If he's he's suffering form low levels, I think copulins can definitely help, but they would be much more effective if he's at 100%. Either way, I hope it works out for you. This thing about his testosterone levels has just been a thought that crossed my mind, among many others, when thinking about reasons behind our situation. I started thinking about it more when I first read about copulins and how they increase a man's testosterone levels. I did do some online research just now on low testosterone, and after reading a bit more I don't feel like it's really a very probable explanation after all. He doesn't really fit into the other symptoms that well. Somewhere I also read that in under 40-year-olds the most common reasons behind loss of sexual desire are stress (which he is under, most of the time) and being in a "bad relationship" (yes, it actually said that, which really made me cringe! how about "relationship problems" or something else a bit more constructive?!). He's just turning thirty. He's never had a high sexual drive, but I didn't expect it to be like this so early on. I will keep this testosterone thing in mind though and maybe will try to have his levels checked if the situation persists. Lack of love life - my married with kids guy perspective: Psychologically - talk to him about being parents and lovers. Stress can be a real libido killer for guys too. Or it could be he might be concerned about more kids given his job and income. I am sure you could figure out a way around that without any suggestions from me lol. It could be he has a phsycological block about sex now that you are a mom (a family of origin issue). Kind of a thing as viewing you as Saint Mommy and sex would not be appropriate. Sounds weird but it has happened. Or it could be a combination of the fact that you said sex was never a primary concern before kids and that it stopped for a while after your child was born. Combine the two and he may have stopped thinking of you sexually overall. In either case, talk to him and let him know what you want. It might be a little difficult if you are shy in things like that but communications are key. Let him know that you are not Saint Mommy and not only is sex OK but really desired. You might have to initiate for a while to get things going again at first but he ought to get the idea. If he seems to balk a little try this: "Hey friend, if my back itched, would scratch you it for me" Of course he would say yes. Then you just come back and let him know you have a different kind of itch you need him to scratch ... Thank you so much for the input, this did give me some food for thought! In any case I don't think it's him being concerned about having more kids, as I have a hormonal IUD (very effective) and out of the two of us, I'm the one who really doesn't want another child. With us it's maybe not so much the Saint Mommy thing (though I can't be sure there's none of that involved, on a sub-conscious level or something). Probably more, like you said, a combination of sex never being that important (especially to him, more so to me, but I've accommodated...) and then the long "dry season". I think we both stopped thinking sexually of each other! I do so want to change that. And we've talked about it, but I fear that I've come across as unsatisfied and needy (which I am!), which might be a bit counterproductive. Doesn't really work to set up the right kind of atmosphere... I couldn't have said it better than QuietGuy above. TALK to him, (just not with a laundry list of needs not being met-that creates more pressure) If it were me, I'd slather on a blend with Treasured Hearts phero in it and sit with him and say, "You know how much I love and adore you. You work so hard to make a home together with our family and I'm so grateful for that. I want to spend more time with you, ya know-without clothes kind of time..." Make it light, and complimentary. If he's shy about talking about sex, use humor. I know you said you like to feel "wanted" and that revs you up. I'm wired the same way. I don't mind being the aggressor (my hub and I are quite open with sex) but I have let him know that while he's an AWESOME lover, it turnes me on faster to be PURSUED, hey, less effort for him if he just throws a few naughty suggestions in my ear or in a text....Now he knows. It's been my experience that our men REALLY REALLY want to please us, they sometimes just get lost. We're a bit more complicated as to what we like sexually than they are, a bit more picky. so by all means be gentlle, complimetary, use some light humor and tell him what you like. I mean , who wouldn't want to be told they are amazing and their woman/man wants to spend more time with them? It's whe we nag that shuts them down. Good luck Now as for your list! WOWZA!!! GREAT selections. I'd save the compromising positions for after you've had that little talk though, it leads to more bitey, animal sex and if your man is shy (until you set him straight) it may send out confusing vibes and end up frustrating him and he won't know why. Start off with La Femm, Get Happy, or Sneaky Clean. Those are sexy phero's but not the big guns IMO. Have fun. You guys love each other and will get over this hump (pun intended) but you've got to literarally schedule it with a pre schooler around. I had to. Laundry list of needs not being met, haha! That is just the thing! I'm afraid that when we have talked about this, it's just ended up with me creating more pressure on him (usually late at night, accompanied with some crying: "why don't we ever have sex anymore, don't you want me, I'm so unhappy, our sex life is so boring..."). Yeah, I'm not sure I'd want to have more sex with me after a discussion like that! Light, complimentary, gentle. What a good reminder. I'm going to try and keep all this in mind. No more serious late-at-night conversations about what is so wrong with our sex life! In addition to wanting to get some more humping, I really do think it's a good idea to try and (re)build a happy, humorous, flirty, open and trusting atmosphere between us, and that's also where I hope pheros could come to help. During the worst times in our relationship we kind of dug ourselves into these trenches, where I was a cold sarcastic nagging wife and he a retreating, emotionally distant husband. Mostly we've come over that and communication is quite normal and loving, but I find that old habits die hard and it's easy to retreat to these positions, so it's really important to pay a lot of attention to that atmosphere between us. I've been experimenting with one phero product from another company which does seem to make me feel extra friendly and loving and him affectionate, but I'm really looking forward to trying some of the LPMP ones. *edited for typos Edited March 14, 2013 by Lisbet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethOSP Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Hiya, Lisbet! Welcome to the Family!!! Your first order is MAGNIFICENT! You made great selections, you have a great attitude, and I think you're going to get great results! I can't add much to the previous discussion, except this: my ManThing and I have been married over 20 years now. We work together, and we have 3 kids. Sometimes it's difficult, but pheros really can add a lot to both family life and sex life. Looks like you've chosen a good path. Many, many good wishes to you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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