VexedGlory Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 So in diligently doing my research via these boards and looking through old threads so I'm not redundant, I've definitely seen people replying and saying that some of their partners/people they know/etc aren't Est responsive and then they might potentially go a different route as far as effective pheros are concerned. I was just curious as to how to gauge that in a person? As an example, I have a dude friend who responds well to Gotcha! and to Heart and Soul, but not really to Cuddle Bunny or Perfect Match. Aside from differences in ratios, I'm trying to figure out what the common denominators are that would cause various responses. (Also, I'm probably not using the right amounts of the latter two, so if anyone wants to weigh in on how much CB or PM they use, I'd totally appreciate it). Long story short, if someone's awesome with Heart and Soul, does that mean that they're also generally Est responsive, or should I just assume that it's specific to H&S as a phero? Anyway, I've just been curious, so thanks for any feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggers Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I find that with Est "responders" there's kind of a general softening around their edges, and often a desire to help or do things for me, make sure I'm comfortable... that kind of thing. My boyfriend becomes noticeably more affectionate when I wear Est-heavy blends. When I wear Cuddle Bunny, (UN) I usually apply a dot or two to my wrists, and two two-to-three inch strips, on on chest, one on lower tummy, and then cover it with perfume and do a lot of smooshing with my wrists 'cause I'm impatient with the dry-down period. When I wear Velvet Kisses or CB '09 I usually do a big ol' lollypop & that's PLENTY to get the response I want. Perhaps your friend doesn't respond to Cuddle Bunny because of the higher level of cops in it? Or perhaps he's responding, and trying not to show it! LOL! Perfect Match though, doesn't contain Est. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBear Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I've typically found that alpha males tend to be Est responders, so if your guy or intended is that, it's likely that the Est blends will work better. It's just like Eggers said: affection, taking care of you, chivalry. Stuff like that. Your guy...did he respond badly or not at all? If it was a bad response (standoffish, snappish, irritated) then you know, but if it was not at all, you might look at where you were trying it. (Cuddle Bunny has quite a bit of cops in addition to the Est, so if it was a public place or something, he probably wasn't going to respond too much if it really turned him on.) Or you might try adjusting your amount. Is this a romantic dude friend or just a friend? That could be why he isn't responding. Although I've had success with Perfect Match in platonic relationships, the bonding element could have been rubbing him the wrong way if he senses that you have different interest levels. Also, i believe someone mentioned on the PM thread that they like PM for scaring off folks who aren't really looking for a relationship! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyvey Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah I find it is shown by what is typically thought of us chivalrous behavior... solicitous, attentive, overtly kind. I've seen both alpha and beta males react this way...the hardest hit i think I've ever seen was a pretty beta person who got absolutely flattened by lace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I am not so sure about the alpha male thing. My BF is as absolutely alpha as they come and he's a non responder. Then my friend is pretty beta and he is a huge est responder. So I don't think it's that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueBear Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) This is solely based on my experience, which is why i worded it the way i did. But it's always held true for me. of course everyone else's mileage will vary. Edited December 16, 2013 by BlueBear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honeycake Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Interesting thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah I agree BB. Totally my own experience. We are the researchers for this stuff. I love to hear everyone's experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luna65 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I think it has to do with cultural orientation; men who believe that they should practice chivalry/protective behavior towards women will respond to EST like a dinner bell. It makes them feel good about doing it; I've come to know that is why EST works so well with Quince, he feels as if he's failing somehow if he can't be the white knight, but that's the culture from which he came. EST-heavy blends actually work better with him than more blatant sexual mixes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) I think it has to do with cultural orientation; men who believe that they should practice chivalry/protective behavior towards women will respond to EST like a dinner bell. It makes them feel good about doing it; I've come to know that is why EST works so well with Quince, he feels as if he's failing somehow if he can't be the white knight, but that's the culture from which he came. EST-heavy blends actually work better with him than more blatant sexual mixes. Not always though.....even without pheros, my man is very chivalrous and protective toward me....always wants to do stuff for me.....with Est, not so much......we had some good reactions, some "meh" reactions, but mostly BAD.....takes him into being mean and nasty....totally out of character for him. I am tending to think his reactions may be due to two things....(1) Est is totally NOT my normal signature.....totally not needy....that is why I can only get away with it if I pair it with something dominant, and only then if I don't use too much.......(2) And this is just a THEORY.....Est is secreted by pregnant women, and all 3 pregnancies that his ex-wife had were very difficult for them.....she treated him like SHIT.....I think it is a phero-memory thing..... Edited December 16, 2013 by Dolly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halo0073 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Another thing that makes sense for me is that my BF was not particularly helpful to me during my pregnancies. So naturally me wearing it again does nothing for him. He doesn't like it when people are needy. Except for kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolly Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Another thing that makes sense for me is that my BF was not particularly helpful to me during my pregnancies. So naturally me wearing it again does nothing for him. He doesn't like it when people are needy. Except for kids. Very interesting.....similar to my man and his experience with pregnancy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggers Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I'm not too sold on the alpha male thing either. BF is not an alpha male, and neither are any of his friends, (just mentioning them because I'm around them a lot), and ALL of them respond very positively to Est. It's quite funny when we go out as a group, 'cause the boys are falling all over themselves to make sure that all of us gals are looked after! "Do we have enough to drink? No, no... you guys go sit down, we'll get this next round. Are you warm enough?" It's very cute. And not an alpha male in the bunch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luna65 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Not always though.....even without pheros, my man is very chivalrous and protective toward me....always wants to do stuff for me.....with Est, not so much......we had some good reactions, some "meh" reactions, but mostly BAD.....takes him into being mean and nasty....totally out of character for him. I am tending to think his reactions may be due to two things....(1) Est is totally NOT my normal signature.....totally not needy....that is why I can only get away with it if I pair it with something dominant, and only then if I don't use too much.......(2) And this is just a THEORY.....Est is secreted by pregnant women, and all 3 pregnancies that his ex-wife had were very difficult for them.....she treated him like SHIT.....I think it is a phero-memory thing..... And in your case, your explanations about your guy's character make perfect sense. I wasn't meaning to explain every guy necessarily, just that I believe the characteristic does in fact explain at least part of why EST does have certain effects. Quince lives and breathes chivalry. it's just that EST makes it that much more pronounced. But he also goes against the norm in that he's never been a father and yet he does react positively to EST, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffygirl12 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I think it has to do with cultural orientation; men who believe that they should practice chivalry/protective behavior towards women will respond to EST like a dinner bell. It makes them feel good about doing it; I've come to know that is why EST works so well with Quince, he feels as if he's failing somehow if he can't be the white knight, but that's the culture from which he came. EST-heavy blends actually work better with him than more blatant sexual mixes. I have the same experience in my relationship !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VexedGlory Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 See, all of this is so fascinating to me! My dude friend is someone in between friends and relationship. We flirt back and forth a lot and spend all our time together but I have no idea if it's going anywhere. I'm okay with that actually, I'm not placing all my eggs in one basket. I figure I'll continue living my life and if something happens, it happens, and if it doesn't, we have an awesome friendship. I was just curious because I was trying out Heart and Soul one day and got amazing hits and he had definitely softened up immensely and was so laughing and smiley and just plain old happy. Then when I was trying out UN Cuddle Bunny recently, it was very different. I don't remember the amount, and maybe it's because we were having a deep conversation, I found him to be a bit dismissive, which is definitely not like him at all. Not in the slightest. So I was surprised as heck. I think my mouth was hanging open, even. I've used cops in other things (like I have a cops boosted Gotcha!) and it seems fine anytime I use it with him, so this threw me for a loop. He's a chivalrous guy all the time, but oscillates between alpha and beta. But, I'm around him the most, so when trying stuff out, he tends to be my guinea pig, lol. I'm not attempting to target him or anything, per se, just throwing that out there. For me, it was just a matter of trying to figure out what works well for what types of folks so that way I can guide my phero usage in the future. But if it helps enhance our friendship, added bonus, lol. So yeah, thanks everyone for your responses and insight. I'm still so intrigued by all this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tyvey Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 It might have been too much cops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamonmel Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 It was me on the pm thing, it's a good tool! They get all happy, then you never see them again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I'm in the camp that SO was not nice when I was pregnant, he also responds negatively to Est most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamonmel Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Yeah, my ex was a dick too. Selfish commitmentphobes are like that! God, don't actually NEED me and make me feel trapped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beccah Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Yeah, my ex was a dick too. Selfish commitmentphobes are like that! God, don't actually NEED me and make me feel trapped. Lol! Right!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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