phergineer

I tried adding a FB of Beautiful Dreamer to the cart/check out and it said it was unavailable...

I took a break from this for almost a week. I forgot what I feel like on it. If SWS makes me feel like this, then I'd be fearing for those around me when I try DOM! I went up to 2 and 1/2 sprays. Well, the half spray is hard to measure, but I basically don't press the spray nozzle all the way. I'm definitely more focused, task-oriented on this. I had to write an email to two of my co-workers today, and let me tell you, I asked for everything I needed, very concise but in a professional way, and even gave them a deadline. So much that one of them came to my desk to talk to me and after I acted all relaxed but in charge, he even thanked me. What I love about this blend is that I don't let others walk all over me anymore. I'm sure it's not as powerful as DOM, but with the softer personalities, it works well. And, I don't think I come across like a bitch either. I just come across like "she knows what she's doing. She's the lead engineer, I better listen to her."

I have to say my mind went someplace naughty reading that.

I was wondering if this is anything like Radium Girl? I did not order the sampler, since I am still getting used to LP scents (I know, I probably should have... I figured I would snag some off the trade forum). Radium Girl does not work well on my skin. It's almost like coconut turning bad, or like adding coconut to Lubriderm lotion, but the coconut is definitely the strongest note in that scent.

Beccah, which ones are the ones with "warm fuzziness"?...

Interesting... I had the total in my PayPal, $539 for 12 bottles, bit I didn't go through with the next step. Thanks for clarifying!

Thanks, StacyK! I do plan on giving Treasured Hearts a few more trys, for sure! Gotcha! seems to work well on date nights I wonder if it would work as a social? Although it does not make me very chatty or open...

I did!!! I tried it last Friday for the first time, and wow!!! Men - ehh, can't say I noticed anything over the top, but women were really chatty and friendly, at least in stores. However, when I got to my fiance's work outing, I was either tired, or I got overwhelmed with the amount of people in the bar. Plus I ended up at the edge of a booth, when everyone was siting at a long table... I didn't get to interact with more than 3 people. It was fine for me in that I can deal with 3 people and we got past superficial chit-chat, but it wasn't a proper testing of SS4W in a large crowd and how it affects me as an introvert. I have to test it again in a larger setting.

Haha, that was me who said my libido is back to when I was 18! but without pheros. I have yet to try Cougar Potion, I hear it has sexual self-effects... That would be awesome!!!

Thanks for sharing!!! Sounds just like me in terms of the social blends! The only ones I have yet to try are TMI and Flying Potion. I guess I will give Lumina another try I think in a more intimate setting, Lace would still work well for me. It got the ladies in my glass studio interact a lot more with me, even though they usually don't talk to me much. One of them even told the instructor she thinks I'm always unhappy and unapproachable a few months ago... I know I can come across that way, because I close off - but I am far from depressed! I am usually just so focused on my project, I forget everything and everyone around me (wait, don't introverts do that anyway? ) I was hoping Popularity Potion would be good too, but I don't think it's good unless I'm in a setting of people I already know. I tried H&S with a few girl friends - they were talkative to begin with. I just became a listener. Treasured Hearts has yet to show any sort of effects, on myself or those around me.

Oh dear, I think I painted a really awful picture of my fiance. I'm not offended, and I understand where all of you are coming from. Had I been reading this thread not knowing he and I, I would have reacted the same - all my memories of previous ex boyfriends who treated me like shit coming back, and I'd be a raging bitch wanting to fight for the woman in my situation. As Eggers says, he really is clueless and his desire to help others got him taken advantage of - at the expense of me feeling uncomfortable. Now of course I will lay some ground rules moving forward, you can be sure of that. This was the first instance when something like this happened since we've been together. I am carefully planning my next "talk" with him So far we've been on excellent terms, so I really don't want to screw that up... Yes, I am upset at what happened. I called my mom today and finally was able to tell her what happened. She laughed hysterically at the thong picture I painted, and then she told me I need to have him understand what I expect of him in situations like this. Of course she understood how I felt. She added "What more you needed was for you to come home and find her walking around naked, and him to say - that's just what my friend does". But she knows him, and that at his age he probably didn't know what to do. The trouble was he got upset I insinuated there may be something going on between them. So he got defensive. In the future I know not to do that again. Had I not don that, I would have maintained the power... As for her - I am done interacting with her. That is for sure. If I have to be around her at his work events, I will find a way to manage, but I will most likely DOM her. And maybe sprinkle some cops, too. I still have to figure out the wedding situation... The bathroom... ehhh... I was thinking I would leave it as is, for his parents to see... and say "yeah, one of his girl friends' stayed over..."

Thank you! I've been thinking to ask if people would be interested in my work in the off-topic forum. I do more practical stuff too: fused glass and borosilicate, but like most artists, I never like my work enough to even attempt to sell it. That's awesome WildAutumn, what worked for you? Luckily my libido came back naturally, just from stopping hormonal birth control and putting a stop to my severe depression. My brain chemistry is back in balance without pheros I'm sure they'd come in handy on some blue days. As for your sister, she may suffer from abandonment issues... I was one of those. I hung on to men like velcro, and yet I could not keep a long term partner for longer than a year or two. Not to mention that the ones I did attract were all abusive. I was doing that all to myself. They sensed the fear in me, and the ones I attracted were all commitment-phobes that managed to keep lowering my self esteem. I was the one pushing them away, slowly but surely. It was only when I learned to love myself and be ok on my own that Mr Right came along. Now don't get me wrong, we do have our ups and downs, but it's no where near like it used to be. To give you an example - I was away, on my own, in Germany this summer for almost 3 months on a work assignment. We did not see each other for 3 months. He is a performance coach, having trained pro athletes, so he is in excellent shape and handsome himself. In my previous relationships I would have crumbled with doubt, suspicion, fear and unfounded jealousy by the end of the 3 months... not this time. There were days when we didn't even talk! So, I would help your sister to work on herself A word of caution though: I don't think this change can come from the outside. No one can make her see what needs to happen. No matter what my friends and family tried to make me see, I was blind. It wasn't until I entered a really abusive relationship that I realized it was time to make a change. Good luck!

Off topic, but How can you tell there are only 11 bottles left? I did not order a sampler, but the reviews are getting me panicky! I might get full bottles just based on reviews! I just tried adding 12 bottles to my cart and it worked...

I did! I Actually really liked it. But again, it was everyone around me who was willing to talk to me more and interact. I think it did work in that I was talking back more too, but I wasn't initiating conversation myself...

Hmmm... that might point arrows directly to me But I'll figure it out. There's a long time until May, as long as I don't see her until then, I should be fine. Plus, maybe she'll get herself a boyfriend and I could care less at that point. I have not brought her up anymore... My main concern now is how to deal with his family and friends (let's assume the woman this thread has been about will not be there). Given that I am an introvert, I do close off in large crowds, especially with people I don't know very well. As I mentioned before, he would like me to behave like myself, because that's how he portrays me to them - and I shut down and become uncomfortable. I get irritated or simply uninterested in chit-chat. I have a really hard time contributing to that. When I'm with him, my family or my close friends - no issue, I open up. But we also don't talk about the weather... He says people can see it in my body language I do not want to be there... So, what do you recommend I wear - for Thanksgiving dinner, and when I am out with his friends, so I can be more open and interact more? I don't need to be the life of the party, but I would like to be less up tight. His family is really nice to me, no issues there. I just don't feel close to them. Open Windows works great in making those around me talk, but not so much on me. I've also used a Topper wax melt once, but I did not notice chatty effects on me. It made me seem a little more uplifted, yes. I've tried Lumina once, but I was with my own friends, so I was already pretty comfortable in that setting. Thank you!

Thank you Oh yes, I was relating my personal experience to make the point that you and others seem to be making. Yes, my libido is back like when I was 18, maybe higher... I totally understand what it means to not produce enough pheromones/copulins on your own, and I am so glad I found LPMP to combat that drop in production later on in life (and of course to keep having fun with the blends until then too)

I would like to share my personal experience, in hopes this may shed some light. I used to turn heads when I was younger, and try to do so, because I was insecure. Then, after 10 years of hormonal birth control and more than a year of dealing with severe depression, I became invisible to the men around me, at 28. My copulin production was almost nonexistent. I looked like I had aged 10 years, and no amount of make-up, fancy clothes or premeditated behavior (smiling, walking with my head up high) could hide how I really felt about myself. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was a zombie. My self esteem was down. My libido was non-existent. My sex life went downhill... There was nothing I could do to spark it up. Any lingerie I would put on felt like a chore/or fake, because I would not give off the congruent "vibes" - or pheros. Now that my depression is gone, I have been off hormonal BC for a year, my self esteem is back and I am generally happy - people can tell that and I have started turning heads again. I feel like I look better than I ever did, even though I am almost 30. And this is without using pheros/cops. I know I am a successful, beautiful woman, and I make sure I walk with my head high, and sometimes with a swing in my hips. I still have some work to do in the office, but even there I've started to notice a difference (even when I don't wear Swimming with Sharks!!! As it was discussed in another thread, it is part of my personal development path). Men look at me differently. And no, I do not dress scantily clad and I am small breasted That is me in the avi, btw. I created the image for one of my printing plates.

Ho do you uninvite someone to your wedding? I can't do that to my future husband. After all, he would have to keep interacting with her, they are coworkers...

When I read about your experiences with prior relationships it reminds me of my own (ex's), and it gets me angry that so many women have to deal with this. Misogynistic, abusive, commitment-phobic, narcissistic men. It seems most women have suffered through this at some point in their lives. It took me years to learn to love myself and start recognizing these destructive behaviors in partners towards me, and in myself, and until this weekend, I don't think I noticed anything that would alarm me in our relationship. I still don't think he is like my ex's. I may be a fool, but in this case I think he genuinely wanted to help a friend and got taken advantage off, at the expense of my well being and happiness. Could he have put his foot in the door and not let her walk all over me? Of course, but that's not his personality... Once she asked to borrow his car, it was like a snowball effect that he didn't know how to stop. And he still doesn't think she looks at him as anything more than just a friend. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she just left the pink thong on the faucet because she's an airhead. I think if he sticks to the statement that she is not welcome to our home anymore, and she doesn't show up to Thanksgiving, we are good to go. I also do not want to be in his presence again. I know they'll keep talking... but there's nothing I can do about that. And overbearing jealousy on my part will give him an advantage and make me less desirable. Unfortunately, something that he cannot take back, is that he invited her to our wedding... we haven't sent out our official invites yet, but he's told her verbally. So I'd have to interact with her on my big day!!! Funny enough, he first told me about this woman back in January, as in "T. can't wait to meet you, I've been talking and gushing to her so much about you, she is excited to meet you".

Agreed on all points. I know I'm not supposed to bring up the fact I am insecure about his relationship with this woman... And in our conversation last night I even explained it's not him I don't trust, but her, because I don't know her and because I don't think he can notice the signs in her behavior that I do. That being said, I do not plan on bringing it up again. I did use to be that insecure young girl that felt threatened by every woman craving my partner's presence. This is not really like that. A glimpse of old me sneaked through this weekend, but I was really more frustrated with my private space being invaded and feeling disrespected as the lady of the house than she being a threat to my future marriage. I know that me closing off as a result of this woman's behavior made him feel pushed towards her. She was fun, happy the entire weekend and I was cold and barely speaking. Whom do you think he'd rather be around? I won't bring up the bathroom clean-up until this coming weekend either. By then, everything should be back to normal and I know he'll ask me what he can do to help. He'll feel bad seeing me slave away cleaning his friend's mess. Maybe I'll get some Mother's Little Helper by then too Vladmyra, thank you for that article! One of my mentors told me once I live in a bubble, just like that, haha! So funny Hamster ball...

Thanks Vladmyra, I was actually thinking about not cleaning the bathroom at all... in our conversation tonight I mentioned he should do it, and his reply was "is this penance for something my friend did?! I refuse to do it, or apologize for her". On another note, he sent me this when I was in art class. I looked at it as serendipity. .. it described me to a T... http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6069438?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000023&ir=Good+News Too bad he did not read the entire article

So we finally chatted today. And of course, because I brought it up... I was wearing LFM. The conversation did not go as well as I would have liked (he was very defensive), but we made up. I said I felt disrespected, and he said he felt that way too when I insinuated he would cheat on me with this woman. He agreed that she was a rude house guest, but pointed out I'm not a great host myself either, with expecting guests to take their shoes off on carpets and closing myself off to her... Oh well. I knew he would use that against me. It's one thing if people come over for dinner, and another if they stay over night. Yes, I expect them to take their shoes off inside the guest room, and not put their stuff on my art work! I mentioned the bathroom issue... he wouldn't even go take a look. He just said "that's disgusting". And yes, I'm the one that has to clean it all up still. As a result of this, he agreed he got taken advantage of and that she is no longer welcome to our place. We'll see how long this lasts. I pointed out he invited her to Thanksgiving dinner, and he said "She'd probably get to town too late for that... and I have not mentioned it to her anymore" I doubt it. Knowing this woman, she'll probably show up at 10pm on Thanksgiving day at our door. So, I am not sure LFM worked very well. He is not an alpha male (hell, he let her walk all over both of us!), but he was clearly already angry with me too before the conversation (because I accused him and her for possibly having something going on together; as a matter of fact, my words were "I'm really uncomfortable with how close you and T are, and I worry this may lead to something else"). In the future, I think Empathy Potion or Balm Bomb would be a better choice for a situation like this (having the talk with SO). I am still upset about how this weekend went, but I am finally no longer feeling that empty hole in my stomach... I went to the art studio/class tonight and there was only the instructor and one other class mate, both males. I told them, in short what happened, and they both shook their heads in disapproval.. "Make him sleep in the dog house!" they said. Especially when I told them about the bright pink lace thong on the faucet... Even better, my instructor said I should take a photo of it and send it to her with the text "NOT cool". And then he adds, "Too bad they don't have x-rated emoticons"... wait, or is there an app for that? I do have more to add along lines of this thread, because this conversation lead into me being an introvert and how I act around his friends and family, so I still need help on that front, but I don't want to turn this post into a novel. I just want to say THANK YOU to all of you for all your posts. I did not feel alone and unreasonable in my reaction to this whole situation.

Again - I appreciate all your suggestions and support. Here's what he suggested on Saturday when I told him I was not happy with her inviting herself over. They were going to go out for drinks - the woman, my fiance and another coworker of theirs (male). I could have gone, but chose not to. She decides she wants to stop by our place first and take a shower... Which got me even more aggravated. So, my fiance said I should just jump in the shower when she got there to avoid her, and then be asleep by the time they got back from drinks. This is his way of protecting me from her, and looking out for my needs. He also doesn't understand how I can't just act like myself in my own home when someone camps there!!! I'm thinking - seriously? Can I just go walk around in my underwear? Can I start drilling and hammering on the printing press I had been working on/building at any time of night and day? Can I talk to him and behave towards him of she weren't around? I don't know this person. She is not my friend. As much as he would like me to open up to her, I can't do it, especially given the history. What I'm trying to say is that in his mind he is looking out for me (he tried to come up with ways for me to avoid her) and that he just doesn't understand why I can't be myself when we have people like her or his family over. Well, it takes me time to warm up to people... But his ways of me avoiding her I do not agree with. I don't want to hide in my own house. I know he means well... but... not this way. Therefore, I need to be very careful on how I approach this conversation we have to have about this subject and how I make him see my point of view. Yes, you are right, the more I let it simmer, the worse it will come out! LFM might do the trick in terms of talking to him, thanks for the suggestion. I have yet to try any spell potions! Communication Potion sounds great, but it's sold out. I'll have to check the trade threads.

Ok Ladies - first of all - thank you for your support! Last night after we dropped her off to the airport, as I mentioned before, was when I walked into the guest bathroom to tidy it up and found the mess. I walked out and closed the door because that was the last drop and I could not deal with it anymore, but I did not say anything to my fiance. He was getting ready to go to his basketball game and I did not want to ruin his performance. The rest of the night we talked very little. I wore Perfect Match. I think it definitely helped to get us to at least have *some* conversation, but it was very limited. I was holding off on what I really wanted to say, holding off from releasing all the built up anger onto him. I cleaned the kitchen and did some laundry and he made dinner after his game (which they lost... another reason I did not want to bring up the weekend events given his not so chipper state of mind as a result of the loss). We were definitely talking a bit more, but not like what I was hoping PM would do. After shower and before bed I applied some Fairy Musk with Treasured Hearts... well, that did nothing. We each watched a movie, in bed, with head phones on... I got more angry, because I really wanted to talk, but he started watching a movie and acted like everything was ok. I fell asleep angry, but I realized it was better to sleep it off than to go into a fight right before bed. Today I have a full day - and I most likely won't see him until 10pm. I am back to my DOM or Leather choice, as I mentioned in one of my previous posts. I agree this is the way to go. I should have the talk, standing my ground... If the nice way did not work, time to bring out the big guns.

MDC, you really gave me the one good laugh I've had today and so desperately needed! No valium, but I did get a bunch of german beer at Costco that I plan on indulging in shortly. See, I don't understand how I'm the only one in this situation who can see things from a different perspective. I'm not even accusing her of purposely doing these things to get on my nerves or because she knows my fiancé won't say "no" to her, I just wish he'd stop defending her boundary invading behavior. Her Being clueless about other people's boundaries does not warrant him giving in to all that she does.