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rain_dancer

Which phero to use for roommate harmony?

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Hi everyone! I discovered LPMP around the first of February, bought some Treasured Hearts as a birthday gift for myself, and have been hooked ever since! :)

 

So, around that same time, 2 other female roommates and I all rented rooms from and moved in with a man I'll call T. He and I are nearly the same age (44), the the other 2 women are in their early 20's.

 

T owns the house, and now that we've been here a couple of months, naturally (?) The Ugly is starting to come out. T is a raging alcoholic -although generally good-natured.

What I feel bothered by, is him acting passive-aggressively towards our youngest roomie.

 

This really sucks because initially we were having a great time and I felt incredibly comfortable and at ease. Now, not so much. He's withholding and hiding his anger and feeling guilty about it and it's coming out in controlling and mean-spirited ways.

This feels so icky to me. She and I both are in a precarious financial situation, so up and moving isn't really an option.

 

Everyone in the household is under stress....one roomie has been dealing with lupus, the other with fibro and a death in the family, T got laid off the day I met him (we live in TX, lots of oil industry layoffs to go around) and who knows what his demons are that are driving him to drink, I'm a full-time student just barely recovering from years of being sick from something I don't know what, I ran out of money before I could get a diagnosis.

 

What would be a good phero to just help us all feel at ease and relaxed and able to work this stuff out, in the open with each other? I believe I know what's eating T about the other roomie, but really - who knows the mind of a man...for all I know she reminds him of someone from his past or something and they are working out their karma. So maybe pheros won't help, and, I want to see what y'all say anyway :)

 

 

I have Treasured Hearts and Open Windows, I felt like TH might be the way to go.

As far as scented, I have Flutterby/Heart & Soul, Ladybird/Levitation, TMI, Love is Love/Girl Girl.

I have a tart warmer and unscented/scented tarts so I can add any of them to the warmer.

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Any of the pheros you mentioned, except TMI (IMO I would not use that around someone like that). of course you are asking an awful lot from the pheros. They really can't change a person. So I'm not sure what you expectations are. Are you hoping to get by day to day on a wing and a prayer? That is a bad idea, it does not sound like a safe situation.

Maybe some phero use will make a few days easier but ultimately you need to get the heck out of there. Start working on that now so you can leave at a time of your own choosing

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Any of the pheros you mentioned, except TMI (IMO I would not use that around someone like that). of course you are asking an awful lot from the pheros. They really can't change a person. So I'm not sure what you expectations are. Are you hoping to get by day to day on a wing and a prayer? That is a bad idea, it does not sound like a safe situation.

Maybe some phero use will make a few days easier but ultimately you need to get the heck out of there. Start working on that now so you can leave at a time of your own choosing

 

Ha, yes, actually, I am on all accounts. School is out in 4 weeks, I don't know for sure if I am going to enroll for the summer just yet. I just want things to be as easy and comfortable as possible until I can afford to move. I don't want to change him, I just feel that fear is rearing it's head and those two don't like feeling anything and aren't dealing with it well.

 

I also feel that there is a lesson for me to learn here because my former roommate situation a few years ago was similar. One man, several other female roomies, passive-aggressiveness abounding, him harboring stuff and not working things out, all of us (except for him!) in precarious financial situations (again, I have been extremely sick from IDK what for a few years now and just getting back on my feet).

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I think that all of them you listed with the exception of Girl/Girl have the potential to be useful. Including TMI. Maybe you could have a one on one talk with him wearing that one. A little communication could go a long way. Maybe he thinks he's been wronged in some way. I am often the mediator in that type of situation though so maybe that's just me. Treasured Hearts is where I would start though.

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Oh, he's responded really well to TMI before, it made him REALLY happy - like - pulling out all of his guitars/playing on the drum all night happy - so I'll keep that in mind.

He's hiding in his man cave for now. He isn't doing anything major - just little snarks here and there that feel uncomfortable. I'm very sensitive so I can feel the vibe going on under the surface, and I'm pretty sure he's angry about something that didn't happen PLUS recent breakup with ex plus being unemployed plus whatever baggage there is that I don't know about.

I sense it's for the 2 of them to work out and I just need to keep deflecting any comments made to me about the other roomies and diffuse a few pheromones here and there. I realize it sounds unsafe, and, I have a high tolerance for it, unfortunately. This is actually the best living situation I've been in for a LONG time so I'm going to just do my best to keep it together and move on quickly if things don't work themselves out.

 

I appreciate the responses, thank you!

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I would LOVE a bottle of Balm Bomb! It's not in the budget for the moment.

Turns out, it is working itself out and my whole take on the situation was wrong.

I wore TMI today and had a conversation with TG (home owner/roomie). We apparently have a real issue with little Miss Manipulative roomie, (bald face lies, stuff going missing), he is on to her and handling it to my satisfaction.

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Glad it's working itself out! Good luck! If you can, get some samples of Heart's Ease or Beautiful Dreamer.. they can hold you over til you can get a full bottle ;)

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Well, it's not working itself out now, lol, we are at a hostile standoff. I don't think any pheros in the world are going to fix this so I'm just going to live with it until I get through my internship, or, she leaves, or, something. I'm pretty sure she has a personality disorder, which she hinted at a while back. Something "like" borderline, but not exactly, according to her. Yesterday it was unwrapped bloody rags on top of and spilling over the trash, then the 1am shower (shower is just on the other side of my headboard). Omg. I've lived with up to 8 other roomies at one time, 6 of them females, ONE bathroom for everyone, and never had the issues I've had with this one.

 

She's getting snippy with the landlord, and has left dirty dishes in the dishwasher for going on 2 weeks now (none of the rest of us are using it). Landlord is kind of laid back, and, still, feeling disrespected is getting on his nerves so we'll see.

Maybe some Balm Bomb in the tart warmer would be a good investment in the future, once I have an income again...soon...very soon...!

 

I feel mostly disappointed in the fragrance/phero blends, nearly everything turns to powder or pungent or acrid on my skin. I imagine with Beautiful Dreamer the amber would amp up like crazy on my skin - I do a LOT better with musks and aquatics than anything else! So I will just wait until I can afford a FB.

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Sorry you're going through this , dancer. Sometimes things just don't work. Hope it'll get better soon.

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I feel mostly disappointed in the fragrance/phero blends, nearly everything turns to powder or pungent or acrid on my skin. I imagine with Beautiful Dreamer the amber would amp up like crazy on my skin - I do a LOT better with musks and aquatics than anything else! So I will just wait until I can afford a FB.

I've had a couple of delicious fragrances turn on my skin. I was so disappointed UNTIL I started using those fragrances with a scent locket. It's a fantastic way to be able to wear the ones that turn. It may be helpful for you, too.

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