cinnamonmel

Toooooootally forgot. Yes my Friday date was interesting. Thought he looked better in his photos but hey, he was still nice looking, he was polite, no awkward silences, hugged me hi, and hugged me goodbye plus cheek kiss. He said in a later text (after I said something about perfume-hey most of my conversation is about perfume, just kidding ) he could smell me on him when he was on the bus. I apologised, said maybe I had put a little too much perfume on (had really poured on most of my remaining Allumette) but he said...didn't say it was a bad thing.

You may find more that you never hear from people again more than attract hangers-on*. My tips would be, don't invest much time in people, just ask to meet pretty much straight off, meet and don't invest emotionally until there's been a fair few dates etc. Daytime coffee dates are great as you don't risk them getting too/drunk, they are short generally and you at least get some idea of what people are like, plus it's accepted that you won't be sitting all day drinking coffee, so you can run if it's bad without seeming odd. I have little free time and am tied by my kids but if you are not you can fake a super busy schedule. If someone doesn't want to meet after establishing at least something in common or a mutual attraction, ditch them and move on, these guys will mess you about. I just had to tell some guy who wanted to chat via text all day every day, sorry but my current dating strategy is just to meet as many people as I can right away, I just don't have time to spend endlessly conversing with every guy all day, I want to meet people, so hit me back if you want to meet. I'm certainly not gonna be spending all day counselling you and hearing about your ex, thanks. If you were a friend, sure I'd entertain a bit of that but in this case, no. Took me a while to get here but I am getting dating savvy now Oh and downbeat guys, sheesh. Don't tell me I don't want to meet you...why? Because it makes me not want to meet you! *zero offense intended-this is not due to any personal fault of course, just there's a lot of useless people out there who play at wanting to meet or just like the idea of you being interested or something. Dicks.

I think there should be a perfume called floriosity. Such a good word!

online dating. Otherwise i'd never meet anyone!

yowww! He's hot!

Date tues was cancelled by me as too much of a mess. Date today with someone else, was smothered in allumette. It went ok, plus he's already asked if i want to see him again and has text me non stop. This is the short no real internet version but I'm having forum interaction withdrawal so just trying to stay in the game at least a little but typing is tedious this way.

invi- i agree, cops make me feel good too and this must make me look happy too if the van driver honking smiling and waving today is anything to go by!

eggers i think you will love it. It really does smell lovely!

Thanks so much Mara for the purple puff! I love it and so do the six other people I.ve sprayed so far! You may be interested to hear my friend who is a chef heard all about purple puff and created a dessert around it, now on his menu with a charity donation per dessert sold to the charity of my choice which was a local children's hospice. It's a chocolate lavender chili marshmallow dessert.

well i wanted to be the first but i.m way behind! Mine came today. Good effects. Can't smell properly due to bloody allergy! Thanks mara. Will review when my proper nose back and internet working again too.

Could this be Bang!'d ?Because that was my thought when I saw it.

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone. I'm a bit wrung out this eve, but I will report back after date Tues.

Well he doesn't look twelve for a start. Plus he has been texting me non stop. It may burn out fast, or he may just be a super intense person. We'll see. Thinking gonna go phero free for this one, don't want to colour my own judgment.

Snowflake, I hope this is the last time then. Don't keep putting up with it if it is not though, everyone deserves better. i have a date! On Tuesday morning. With someone else! Go me!!

This one had me stumped too. I'm not a comic person. I used to like Deadline but that's as far as I got. Milk and Cheese!

We really have to do this one day Where abouts are you?

Maybe not inevitable but likely, even being honest, there's no plan for human emotion, sometimes people just take you by surprise, or you, them. I've experienced both sides of the equation. At the grand old age of 35 I have had a fair bit of experience I guess, last four years aside!

Thanks for the compliments on my hair everyone I missed that bit out when I replied last night on my tiny phone screen. I don't feel this is really an issue for me. I don't do dressing up much for dates, usually bothered more about how I smell, since that's what's important to me, plus I'm very down to Earth and straightforward, generally too honest for my own good, so I don't put on an act for dates. Since I have some minor anxiety problems about getting ready to go out places it's for my own good that I don't make a big deal out of getting ready, and I use my perfume to get in the mood to go, it's not the date that bothers me, just getting out of the house to go moment, it's a weird problem I guess. In his defense, he didn't call me, he had text me earlier to see if i had returned home from my trip-he wished to meet that eve, but I told him I wouldn't be back til late, hence his late text to ask if I was home, and when would I be free. It was still bad form of him to not mention plans he had at this point. I'm not sure so much that we even have a dating scene here. Situation tends to be more...go to pub, meet, meet again = bf/gf or meet at work and end up together. Personally i don't tend to pay attention to what people say about stuff like that, they should mind their own business, we're all different and people who have blanket terms and conditions tend not to be the best sources of advice... I should clarify what I mean by date- for me at the moment 'a date' is strictly a meeting with no sexual contact, 'dating' would be actually seeing someone exclusively. BUT since I have no workplace in which to meet people, have fibromyalgia and little energy for socialising, all my friends these days are pretty much married or close to with no single male friends, any male friends I have left I have are ex boyfriends (I have no problem staying friends with exes) my choices are pretty limited, it's internet dating or stay home alone every night and do so forever. My life doesn't really have any potential random-meet-space in it. The only adults I interact with on a daily basis are parents at the school and generally female/married men. So my dates are first meetings and often that's the only meeting we have-most internet date guys tend to be pushing for sex using looking for a relationship as a cover because they are cowards. I have more respect for the just sex guys who say it outright. Snowflake mentions this later. Honesty is always best, it gives people choices, and no one likes to feel deceived. I haven't been on a whole host of dates really, seems impossible to get people to go on one, even the ones who say they want to-weird disease going around, this playing with emotions thing, just looking for an ego boost or just an inability to be honest perhaps, plus I was in and out of the same relationship for over 12 years, not leaving much time to date. In four years I have been on maybe ten dates. On the rare occasions I go out to gigs or whatever, I never ever meet/get approached by anyone. Perhaps I give off bad vibes, I'm not a fun giggly girl type. Oh Snowflake, that's bad, very inconsiderate and unacceptable behaviour. I hope you had a serious talk with him, I hope it's not outside my place to say that, I just hate anyone being treated so shoddily. In my experience people who do this do it over and over. I really hate the term 'friends with benefits', I feel it as a term devalues actual friendship. I don't mean any offense to those who have used it, it just bugs me Maybe that's just me but I prefer fuck-buddies...seems more honest. I also have no problem with fuck buddies, as long as the honesty is there. I have found in my own experience that one person will get attached though, it's just inevitable. I don't think it's wrong for people to try and meet their needs at all as long as both parties are trying to not hurt the other.

This is just a quick reply as I'm on my phone and it doesn't make typing a pleasure! My hair- unfortunately I have no secret. I wash it, don't use conditioner, I was just born with shiny hair. I have terrible nails though, weak and and thin. I often joke that my hair sucks all the good stuff up! I do use a semi permanent dye though, just for the few grey hairs but it is shiny without that so i don't think that makes much difference. I wouldn't be so bothered about the date thing had he not hassled me at midnight last night as to when i would be free and when i got back to him today at lunchtime, he replied later on and he said he was busy, which he must have known already! He's blown it now though.

That still sounds hot to me Eggers...I like that they reinforce your bf's choice of you as a gf Win-win! I have a tendancy to go for unavailable men, or else it's just unlucky that anyone I find attractive doesn't feel the same way about me as more than a sexual object. So I'm liking the idea of being made to look at things differently, following a different way of doing things. It's like they say, if you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got! And my way hasn't exactly worked! I think she may veen say this exact thing in the book, been a while since i read it, but I got this phrase from a life coach originally. Still deciding what to wear, tentative plan is to go eat curry so I think EP may not be suitable for dinner. I will update on how it goes! Ha...date's off. He's busy now. I hate when people ask are you free knowing full well they are not. Ugh. Had talked myself into it now!

Idea is you start with sixteen!! Read the link I posted though, because it probably explains it all better than I might

Well here, going on a date pretty much implies interest so to speak. Not sex but interest at least, so I'm not so worried about that. Aaaaand Lucky YOU! Sounds like you have your own harem! Feel free to send any surplus cute ones my way!

The idea was that I feel good enough to actually *go* on the date, otherwise, being very tired etc, I'll feel revolting and flat, and won't want to go, Bang! seems to be like me on a *great* day. The Four Man Plan:http://www.thefourmanplan.com/ I don't have four men, no. I have one I have been on one date with (who looks about twelve) and another who wishes to, but am also not really that into and not living in the same city has made arrangements harder, but that's it. The idea is that anyone keen enough to go on date number two with you, gets a second date, the exception being fear for personal safety or just a feeling of really squicked-out-ness, as sometimes people don't come off well on date one, but grow on you. Dating in the UK is not like in the USA, seems much harder here, as people tend to just meet randomly and decide whether or not to be a couple from there, multiple dating doesn't seem to happen really. It's been impossible for me to fill a dating square like in the book. I think the principles are sound though...no letting your pants be the brain etc. I will have had a teeny dab of EP on for our first date just coincidentally from testing but was slathered in Far Far Away, which got me on the date but, I wasn't exactly sparkling.

Eggers i'm sold! Been debating this one this week but now I HAVE TO HAVE IT!

I have a date this weekend with someone I don.t feel that attracted to but I'm going for the second date as they're keen and I'm trying to follow The Four Man Plan, but is it mean to wear Extra curricular Pro.. Just because it makes me feel really good? He's totally sweet and very nice so nothing to fear, but would it be unfair?