I totally agree with you about parents meeting their needs through their children! How messed up is that? My hubby's family is very dysfunctional though. On the outside they look fairly normal, but pull back the sheets and it's a mess. Oh, even worse, they sweep EVERY problem under the rug. If its too painful to deal with, just pretend it never happened. That's why it took mu hubby 17 years to finally confront his mother. Thankfully it taught him that facing the problem actually works!
We sound like twins when it comes to parenting! Yes, I'm already learning to keep my mouth shut. And my youngest boy will have a bossy wife I'm sure, so I'll smile and pretend, but when she leaves
I honestly just want my kids to be happy, so hopefully my journey isn't too bumpy!