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vanwinkle

New with questions (possible trigger)

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So, I won't go into much detail but I'm a divorced mother in her late 30's. I was in a horrible marriage since my teens and he was a constant cheater, emotional abuser and, towards the end, physical abuse. I am fearful of finding someone but, on the other hand, I miss "relationships". I am afraid of putting myself out there for a relationship and have turned down a few offers because I wasn't ready. To say there's nothing...I mean nothing. Haven't even kissed anyone in almost 3 years - again, by choice. But I'm tired of being lonely and I'm ready for the possibility of a relationship. I am in school full time so my options there are limited (most are very young and I'm not looking for some kid to corrupt) but I'd like to have the chance to attract someone (since I tend to be a bit shy and withdrawn...obviously something I'm working on after years of being treated like crap).

 

If you've read this far, I thank you! Is there a good combination that will put the "I'm open to this option" without me having to make an attempt? I'm just not someone who can do that yet. I can be pretty wild inside a relationship but I tend to have the quiet, demure exterior that very few see and my trust level is very low - I'm wary of everything. I was hoping time away from relationships would help me work through it but I'm almost getting worse. I just need to find a good partner...and, truthfully, I'm open to either side at this point. Have I confused you enough? Any ideas or is this a lost cause?

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I think the ladies would answer this better but good luck and welcome to the forum!

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Hi there! First off, welcome to the forum! :)

 

I'm glad to hear that you're out of an abusive situation. I can imagine it would take a good deal of time to gather yourself after dealing with that for most of your adult life. It can't be easy, and I send you all the best wishes in the world.

 

It sounds to me like there are two issues you'd like to address, in the interest in pursuing a third: You mentioned that you tend to be shy and withdrawn, and that you feel you're lacking confidence, but that you'd like to put it out there that you're open to the possibility of relationship, without having to ​really be out there.

 

I know that there aren't any quick fixes, but if you're interested in trying pheromones to aid you, I'd suggest that you start with those that are sort of friendly confidence-boosters. My all-time favorite phero blend is Open Windows, and I always suggest it to people because I think it's one of the most useful. First off, it can give you a little boost of confidence, and lift your mood, and while doing that, it also acts a little like a people magnet. Not in an obnoxious way. In a friendly way. People want to talk to you, and because your mood is brightened, and you've got a little boost of confidence, you might feel more at ease engaging them. It lends a good dose of sparkly charm, I find. You might like to try Levitation, too, which is similar, but has a dose of DHEAS added to it, and might help even more in heightening your mood. And isn't it easier to feel confident when you're in a good mood?

 

My other all-time favorite blend is Super Sexy for Women. While it does contribute quite a sexy vibe to the wearer, it's also a very open, friendly vibe. I get a good kick of confidence from this one. It makes me feel like swinging my hips. I always feel really good about myself when I wear it, so again, my mood is heightened, and I'm feeling sociable. What I find really nice about SS4W is that it's so friendly. Men and women alike want to be my best friend when I wear it. It's sexy, but in a breezy kind of way. You know when you see those people who are just so at ease in their own skin that you can't help but admire them, even though you kinda want to hate them because they're so damned at ease just being fabulous? :lol: That's Super Sexy for Women.

 

I'm sure others will have other suggestions. But those are the ones that I think might be most useful. They're friendly, open, confidence-boosting and sexy, but non-threatening.

 

Good luck to you! :)

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Welcome!! So glad you're joining us :)

 

It's good to hear that you are out of that situation, and it sounds like you're on the path to healing - congrats! Wishing you the best of luck :heart:

 

I totally agree with Eggers, I think that Open Windows and SS4W are great ones to start off with. If you want to try samples first, you can order trial sizes of:

Corwin w/Open Windows

Veridian Muse w/Open Windows

Rosalynd w/Open Windows

Rocket Fuel w/SS4W

Sneaky Clean w/SS4W

 

Good luck! Let us know what you get, and how it works for you!

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Welcome to the forum! Glad you're in a better place.

 

Those are great suggestions. Alot of a pheromone's success has to do with "selfies" which is the effects the pheromones gives the wearer. Everyone is different so i recommend getting sample vials of scented phero mixes to see what gives you that hip swing.

 

Also stick around and read everything! There is so much information here! I've been lurking since January and I am still endlessly entertained and educated on a daily basis.

 

Good Luck! ♡

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Thank you so much for all the advice! I have tried the sneaky clean and felt it smelled...well, like a toilet bowl freshener? I know it smells different on other people but, to me, it smelled like that toilet bowl freshener with an old urine smell. I don't think being hyperaware of smelling like a toilet is helpful. :) Are there scents that combine those pheromones without smelling strongly of that "off" scent?

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Check out the review threads for the other ones I recommended.. You might like one of those better :)

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Just try a tiny dab where you can smell it best yourself for effects and layer with something else for now?

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I agree with Bella and Eggers. A nice social that makes you feel great and confident. Open Windows, Levitation, Pop Potion, SS4W... Cougar makes me feel on top of the world. I love it for selfies and the hits are great too.

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How about La Femme Mystere? It's a great confidence booster. 'Sensual Harmony' with LFM could be great. It works for me :)

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Vanwinkle!I am so happy you are reaching out for some support and that you are feeling ready to create new joy and partnership in your life!

 

I love all of the suggestions so far, I haven't tried Open Windows yet, but it sounds like you might really resonate with it.

 

I wanted to strongly second Cougar. It is such bright scent and a great social phero, I always feel fun, flirty, confident, with a smidge of sexy flirty fun when I have it on. It makes me feel like I am sparkling all over and people are naturally drawn to me and feel at ease talking with me.

 

SS4W is also FANTASTIC! If you don't care for Sneaky Clean, try Rocket Fuel, I think it is DELISH!!!!! Like Eggers mentioned above, SS4W is a great friendly, confidence boosting, sexy hip swaying scent for me as well.

 

I also really love Pop Potion, it is just simple, friendly and social. I always seem to get a ton of compliments when I wear it around town and I feel like I *want* to open up and be around everyone too.

 

I hope you find so much goodness in this next phase of your life!

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Welcome! I have been right where you are.....abused and emotionally broken. I know about the "scared to put yourself out there again"....been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the matching hat!

 

Socials would be great for you to start out with. Open Windows is a GREAT mood lifter....for you and those around you. Cougar is also very fab.....gives you a sparkle with a little sexy. Can put that "swish" back in your hips! After you find out if those work for you.....move on to others.....it is VERY easy to get a case of brain overload, saying which ones should I get?? :Emoticons04280: Everyone has their faves, and all are for very different reasons.....what works for one may not work for you. Stick with it though.....I'm not very keen on the sneaky clean scent either....although I don't smell toilet....LOL.....everyone has their own scent preferences.

 

BTW.......Open Windows is very good for giving you the "I am approachable" vibe......

 

I also wanted to add.....kudos for deciding to possibly get back out there again.....it takes fortitude and strength......it took me a long time to realize that not every man out there is like the prick that you are now away from. Not every man will treat you like crap or cheat on you. There are good ones out there, and when the time is right, it will happen!!

Edited by Dolly

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