I'm so happy for you that you've found this site, and that the pheros are working for you
My grandmother was like your MIL. She was so hard to be around, although thankfully because I was a grandchild, a lot of her complaints were directed towards her children. I still heard things though and it made me feel not connected to her, you know what I mean?
As for my MIL, it's a case of mommy doesn't want to let go of her baby, and no one is good enough! She always made it clear that even though we were married, she didn't have to like it! This went on for many (like 17ish) years, when finally while my husband was home on leave from his deployment to Afghanistan, he had it out with her. He told her that I was the love of his life, and that if she couldn't be nice, he would stop coming around! After that, she has been super nice. She said she didn't believe we were in love, but now she understands. Weird, huh? We've been married 19yrs and together 21yrs,mand while we had a tough time around the nine year mark, we made it though, and became stronger! Who knows why she thought that???
Wow, can't believe all that came pouring out!