Quitting Smoking with the help of Pheromones

[MissHazel]

Today is day 4 of boyfriend quitting smoking cigarettes. He's had two really bad cigars (which I bought to emphasize how much he hates smoking while denying him cigarettes even though I found out cigars have WAY more nicotine than cigarettes) and he has an ecigarette plus all the supplies.

 

I didn't start putting Balm Bomb in my wax warmer until the second night and I'm kicking myself for not doing it sooner because we've been getting into several not-yelling fights, squabbles, near-smotherings, and frosty silences.

 

I've had to hide his car keys (he's on winter break) for the past four days so I've been the one leaving the house.

 

Anyway, it seemed to melt a bit of the "stop being a shithead" vibe we've both been feeling towards the other. I haven't told him I've been doing the Balm Bomb because then he would automatically consider it hocus and blow out the candle warming the oil.

 

Yesterday was downright cordial and my boyfriend was 90% back I felt. Tickle fights, cuddles, joking, laying together on the couch.

 

He still says "I want a cigarette. I just want one cigarette. I can have one cigarette," but I keep emphasizing the whole addicts line of "You're addicted, and you cannot ever have just one cigarette. That's your addiction talking.

 

I know cigarettes are not as lethal as other drugs and less life-destroying by far, however this is likely his 4th or so trying to quit. The longest he went was before he met me for 2 years, and he slipped up thinking he could just have one cigarette.

 

Some people feel that having an e-cigarette replaces the addiction, but I don't really care. It smells better, it's better for his lungs, and only has 2-5 ingredients rather than 3000 or so crazy ass chemical concoctions that are in modern cigarettes (though for awhile I'd make him get the American Indian cigarettes which I think only have tobacco and maybe a couple other ingredients.)

 

Anyway!

 

I've been pulling the top off of my roller bottle of Balm Bomb UNscented, and then filling the underside of the roller ball contraption that holds it in the bottle. I would guess based on how the bottle decreases that it's a little bit less than half a mL. 1.75 mL in the tall samples and 10mL in the bottles right? Then I add a bit of water and a sniffee of whatever (Molls-- I've been using your Wyld Ivy samples you sent since I think they are more scents he would go for. Thanks again.)

 

 

So this is the third day since I just started up a new batch in the wax warmer and snuck it out to the garage where he is currently fiddling around.

 

I'm worried about burning him out on Balm Bomb. I've thought about trying Levitation, but also, after today should I give it a break for a day or two and then start up again?

[halo0073]

NO pheromone ever helped me. The only thing that has ever been effective is Chantix.

[luna65]

 

I know cigarettes are not as lethal as other drugs and less life-destroying by far

People do die from the effects of smoking, eventually. And COPD and/or lung cancer is a horrible way to die, I've seen it.

[MissHazel]

That's the gum right? If so, he has some bad fillings that need to be taken care of so he never chews gum.

 

He's tried patches. Maybe we'll try that again but so far making the jump to the ecig worked for about six months a year or so ago.

[StacyK]

He could learn to knit or crochet.

Maybe play piano but that'd put him around drinkers then ultimately smoking again.

[halo0073]

No it's a pill. I tried patches and lozenges and every type of aid. The only thing that ever worked was chantix. And if I wanted to smoke nobody could have made me do otherwise. You're lucky he is being so nice about it really.

[quietguy]

People do die from the effects of smoking, eventually. And COPD and/or lung cancer is a horrible way to die, I've seen it.

 

Yes it is. My favorite great-uncle died from his cigars. Died bad.

 

I have never smoked so I cannot help with any advice there. The only thing I have ever used pheromones to help quit is the occassional period of celibacy.

[Dolly]

And if I wanted to smoke nobody could have made me do otherwise. You're lucky he is being so nice about it really.

 

AMEN!

 

My man has smoked on and off since we met. He will go for months and months without having one and then he will go through several packs......then months off again. He is a grown man.....and for me to MAKE him do something?!?! Not going to happen! He doesn't tell me what I can put in my body, and I don't tell him what he can put in his. He never smokes in the house, and brushes his teeth before giving me kisses, so he is only harming himself......doesn't make that big of a deal to me.....I occasionally smoke cigars (like every 2-3 months or so)......there again, MY CHOICE. I know the risks......my Dad died from lung and liver cancer, but I still CHOOSE to do it.

 

For Christmas, my man wanted e-cigs, so that is what I got him. So, when he gets an urge for nicotine, he can have it. But I did not buy them because I want him to quit smoking. I only want him to quit if HE wants to quit.

 

 

Your boyfriend is not going to quit for good unless HE makes the choice. If you force him, it will most likely cause a lot of resentment and anger.....and no phero can keep him from resenting you. He is an adult, I am sure he knows the facts and dangers, and unless he is saying....."Please help me quit, and don't let me have a smoke, no matter what I do or say"......or, unless he is smoking up your house or making you breathe it involuntarily, I say let him do what he wants. It's a free country, and he is grown. Just my opinion.

[Honeycake]

LOL @ Halo!

 

Miss Hazel: I will say that I read that after three days the body withdrawls are supposed to be over and the rest is psychological. Or so I have been told.

[MissHazel]

He knows he needs to quit smoking-- he's not ignorant of that fact and one of his biggest regrets is every starting to smoke so

admitting to himself, I doubt it's me forcing him to do anything. Sadly, his willpower hasn't been strong enough even though

he's said he's needed to quit many times, for medical issues both pertaining to himself and myself.

 

He's going to be leaving town in the next couple of days so it's up to him after he leaves but I wanted to give him the best

opportunity to beat his urges over the first few days when the habit of driving to the store for coke and some cigarettes is bugging him

vs. walking to the store in cold weather when the urge actually does overwhelm. I'm not making him. If he wants a cigarette he can walk his ass to the store.

Since he hasn't, clearly he doesn't really want one. He just wants to bitch about wanting a cigarette and I'm cool with that.

Even now, he's bitch about UPS and pacing in front of the window saying "I want a cigarette."

We live like half a mile from a shopette--clearly he's doing the hard work himself. I'm just creating a framework to combat the habit of convenience.

[LadyVictoria]

He could learn to knit or crochet.

Maybe play piano but that'd put him around drinkers then ultimately smoking again.

OMG that's genius!

Hazel give him something to do with

His fingers!!!! FINGERBANG!!

That will keep him occupied.

As someone that used to light up -

Yes I have many secrets like my two dicks -

I quit for a number of reasons.

One my bf didn't like how I tasted and he kissed me less and less

My son has asthma - and I would feel so bad holding him even though I sprayed everything under the sun to get rid of the smell-

But it always stayed in my hair.

I realized what it would eventually do to fair skin with freckles -

I would look like an old Dalmatian / sharpee mix

And the best reason ? I want to live for my bf for my son - for me!

I quit cold turkey - I do plan on starting again once I'm 60 because I figure that's a good age to not give a fuck - plus I'll look so glamorous with my furs and wine

[quietguy]

Wow - that was really good LV! Proud of you!

[ssupytalp]

I wish I could send him the interview I read a week or two ago with a lung oncologist (only it's in Dutch, so that probably wouldn't work anyway ).

 

She said that for her and a lot of her colleagues it could be a depressing field to work in; any kind of cancer specialist has people die on them of course, but for lung cancer it is by far the worst.

85% of lung cancer patients were dead within the year.

 

And about 94% of the cancers she saw were caused by smoking or second-hand smoke.

 

The good news is that the effects of smoking are mostly slowly undone after you stop (but the younger you are when you stop the better; if you're after 35 it doesn't reverse completely anymore).

 

 

It is a tough addiction to break though.

Crossing my fingers for the both of you!

[irish eyes]

I have seen many older folks die of smoking related issues. Nothing fashionable about gasping for breath and coughing up brown phlegm. But as it has been said...only the smoker can do the quitting. If they are not ready, they will feel pushed and that is not the way to change. Any change for that matter. Both of my parents smoked and I have heard for a non-smoker living with a smoker....the smoke you inhale is more dangerous and it can take up to two years for young lungs to get back to normal after getting away from the smoke. I took care of a man who smoked his whole life and had many issues...but his wife died of lung cancer from the second hand smoke and after that he gave up. He told me he had killed the best thing that ever happened to him. So sad.

 

While the opinion is still out on the e-cigs....it would be a step into the no-tar direction. Quitting all together is ideal but the smoker has to be ready to commit to that thought. And support even if they slip is crucial.

Edited January 31, 2014 by irish eyes